"I used to rule the world...
Seas would rise when I gave the word"
-Coldplay, Viva la Vida
She sighed as she locked the door to her room that night, trapping herself in that dark room she had shared so many sleepless nights with. She pulls off her black cap decorated with her symbols and sets it on the old dresser in front of the mirror, the ever judging mirror. What she sees disgusts her, the young beautiful women with the dead eyes that gleamed every time she ended a life. There was another execution going on, one she refused to carry out. The killing was too much, too much for her guilt to handle. Her fingers curled forward and her chewed up nails dug deep into her flesh, probably leaving crescent shape marks on her skin. Her jaw tightened as her head drop down and she breathing grew ragged and forced as she tried to steady herself. The sounds of the man to be executed's screams almost seemed to reach her ears even though it was being performed underground far from her room.
Her thoughts raced and old memories piled up in her thoughts. Memories of blood and sadistic laughter and the sweet, sweet smell of alcohol and cigarettes. Memories of cold nights and frozen tears on her cheeks. Memories of explosions and screams. Memories of the hot sun and a warm smile. Memories of the blood being spilled over the dusty ground and a scream in her throat. And the memories of frostbite, the rise to power and the fall of those around her. The dark past was always there in her mind no matter how much she occupied her mind with. The death and gore and the sound of guns haunted every sleepless night, every dark dream, every time she looked into her victim's soon to be dead eyes.
She hesitantly rose from her slouch and bite her soft lip with her sharp teeth and walked across the wooden floor to her bed for two. She pretty much instantly collapsed onto the soft fabric laced with memories of insomnia and a few good memories with the only man you could look at the monster she was and still willingly hold her close at night. Perhaps even the only man who would volunteer to kill in her place and be happy about it. He's always happy... or so he makes it look... She loved him, she really did but still... sometimes it felt like she was alone, no matter how many times they'd be there to comfort her. Her husband and her comrades they were the only ones who got the see the world's all so powerful leader weakened beyond her mental capacities. All the citizens would never get the chance to see the feared ruler shed a single tear or seem slightly off from her cold, fearless facade.
And they feared her. They feared and resented her with all their hearts, in fact they had no idea who she was. All they knew was that one of the countries representatives hand picked by their leader was actually their leader. All the other representatives pledged on their lives and the life of another that they would never reveal just who she was.
Fools... if they knew what was best they'd kill me now and put me out of my tormented pleasure...
The door creaked open as she buried her pale face into the soft pillow that smelt strongly of ash and gunpowder. Footsteps followed the noise and the mattress moved as someone sat themselves down beside her. A hand slowly moved up and down her back trying feebly to comfort her, trying to get her to stop helplessly releasing those strangled sobs into the pillow.
"One day..." She whispered to the man stroking her back. "One day they're going to realize just what I did and just who I am."
He nodded and looked somberly at her.
A weak laugh escaped her mouth. "One day the war will start again. One day I'll die just like the oh so great Lord Gilbert did. And one day I'll have to kill so I won't repeat his mistakes..." She was rambling, her words making much but also little sense. Another strangled cry escaped her mouth. "Why can't they just listen? I wouldn't have to kill them if they would just listen to me!"
"I know," He responded softly.
"Why..." She sighed and looked up into her husband's eyes. "Why did it have to be me?" She wondered out loud.
After the Third World War, the nuclear war, had left most of the population dead, humanity began to rebuild. Peace took over and eventually the world was back to a normal state. Many years of hardship paid off and finally life could go back to a normal routine. However, people knew that the world needed to be united to prevent another disaster, they called it Project Pangaea. People began to disagree on how to keep the world governed and it came down to the century old fight, Democracy or Communism and the world was divided. Countries fought dirty and violently. In desperate states they began drafting even child to act as soldiers and bodies in mass graves and it seemed no side could win. Brother and brother facing off in fights... it was madness. A bitter twenty year long madness that consumed the globe.
"Why did I get drafted in that damned war?"