Sometimes things happen that you just can't control. Sometimes the things you wish would happen don't happen. Sometimes the things you think are truth are not truth. And sometimes, things happen that you can control, but chose not to. Sometimes the things you wish would happen do happen, and you wish it hadn't. Sometimes, the things you know as truth are the truth, and you wish you never knew about it in the first place. Because sometimes, life is not what it seems, love is not how it should feel, and relationships are not what we perceive them to be.
I sighed and got off my bed, swaying slightly. Ever since Bella's funeral, I've been feeling weird and my balance has been off. Of course, no one knows about this as I haven't been out of my room for three weeks. There's no point anyway. Without her, I'm back to being lonely and abandoned. Everyone always leaves me in the end. Taking a step to my CD collection, something in my stomach protested and I turned and wrenched the door open, dashing to the bathroom.
As I emptied the contents in my stomach, I prayed no one was around to hear that. No such luck. There was a knock on the door and I looked up at my father, a slightly panicked expression on his face.
"Edward. What….how…." Carlisle seemed at a loss for words and I couldn't blame him. I'm a vampire! We don't get sick. I tried to get up but wasn't very successful; I was so tired and my limbs refused to cooperate.
Carlisle saw my struggle and hurried forward to help me up, only to have to catch me when my legs gave way. He bent down and scooped my up in his arms, cradling me like a child. For once, I didn't mind being treated like one. I was cold and tired and there was a feeling in my stomach, a feeling I haven't felt in a century. Hunger. I think I'm hungry.
"How're you feeling son?" Carlisle's eyes were filled with concern for me.
"I think I'm hungry. Not thirsty. Actually hungry." He looked surprised but didn't hesitate to carry me down the stairs and gently place me on the couch.
Just then, Alice and Jasper burst through the front door, followed by Rosalie, Emmett and Esme. "Edward! Oh my God, are you ok? What's happening Carlisle?" Alice asked, her voice filled with worry and confusion.
Esme went and sat beside me, rubbing soothing circles on my back. "What did you see Alice?" Carlisle asked.
"Edward getting sick! How is it possible?" Alice's voice sounded distressed and a calming wave spread through the room courtesy of Jasper. Em and Rose stood off to the side quietly, but from their thoughts I could tell they were worried too.
Just as Carlisle was about to say something, my stomach growled loudly and I looked down, embarrassed. "No one's doing anything until Edward is fed. Everything else can wait." Esme said, and I saw Carlisle lean in to tell her to get me something from the kitchen. Luckily we were stocked since…Bella…used to come over so often. Bella. I missed her.
Esme came back with a sandwich and a glass of water. I eyed it hungrily and saw Jasper's surprise at my sudden change in emotion. My whole family was watching as I devoured the sandwich and downed the water. They were all worried about me, but right then I was too tired to reassure them. Esme cleared away all the dirty plates
By now I was exhausted and I hardly even cared that the rest of my family was staring at me like they would a science experiment. My eyelids started to droop and I didn't have the energy to sit upright anymore. So, I slumped back on the couch and closed my eyes.
I could smell Carlisle and Rose nearby, but that didn't make sense. I was alone in the meadow wasn't I? Slowly, I opened my eyes and saw Carlisle sitting on the couch opposite me, with a worried expression on his face. How could I be at home? Wasn't I just in the meadow? Carlisle must've noticed my confusion because he got up and helped me sit up, so he could sit beside me. I didn't even notice I was lying down.
"You were asleep son. It was a dream." I gasped. That explains everything.
"What's happening to me?" He reached out and squeezed my knee reassuringly.
"I'm going to find out. For now, how are you feeling?" Horrible.
"I think I have to use the bathroom." Carlisle looked surprised for a second, then he nodded and his thoughts drifted towards me. Edward looks exhausted. With all the human changes in him it shouldn't be a surprise he'd have to go. I should test his urine.
"Don't worry Dad, I pee into a cup or something." Carlisle just nodded, already used to my mindreading.
"Do you need help getting up?" The question was sincere, which was the problem. Do I really look that bad? I shook my head and got up, maybe a little too fast since I swayed for a bit. Instantly, Carlisle was up and had a firm grip on my arm, in case I collapsed. I sighed and subtly leaned into him for support.
"Dad I'm fine. Really." He gave me a skeptical look.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes Dad. I really have to go." It felt like my bladder was going to explode.
"Okay." He took a step back and I headed to the bathroom on slightly shaky legs.
After doing my business, I handed the sample to Carlisle and collapsed on the couch while he went to run some tests. Emmett and Jasper came and sat with me, keeping an eye on me while they discussed something trivial.
I was drifting in and out of consciousness when the front door banged and Alice waltzed in followed by Esme and Rosalie, each laden down with grocery bags. Honestly, I didn't understand why we needed more food; I was the only one eating anyway. Alice was waving a tub of strawberry ice cream at me, grinning like a fool. Strawberry. I didn't want to eat that.
"Why did you buy me strawberry? I didn't even ask for ice cream Alice!" I glared at her shocked expression. Esme took the tub from her and extended it towards me.
"Next time I promise not to buy you things if you don't ask for them. But Alice thought you might like some ice cream. If you don't want it tell her, but don't yell at her, alright Edward?" Her words just made me more agitated and I glared at her and the stupid tub of ice cream.
"No! You don't get it! What am I supposed to do with that? I don't want it!" Why couldn't they understand that?
Anger flashed in Esme's eyes and behind her, my siblings' shocked expressions only made me angrier. "Edward, don't you dare yell at me. Do you understand? This was a kind gesture from your sister because she wanted to make you feel better. You have no right to be so rude." Esme's quiet and deadly voice ripped thought me. She's going to throw me out. She's going to throw me out because I was so rude to her and I'll never see her again. It hurt. No. No, I don't want to be thrown out. No!
"No, no Mom. Please don't throw me out. Please don't leave me!" My eyes filled with tears that spilled over. I felt Esme wrap her arms around me, her thoughts indicating she wasn't sure whether to comfort me or stay angry at me. The sobs increased as I threw my arms around her, not wanting her to let go. She didn't, so I cried myself to sleep in my mother's arms.
Something shifted under me and I opened my eyes to see my father standing by the couch opposite me with a grim expression. My siblings and Mom, who were all grouped around me, were watching Dad as well.
"What's wrong with me Dad? Am I turning human?" The idea hadn't occurred to me until now, but yes, I could possibly be turning human.
To my relief, he shook his head but his thoughts were bothering me. He found something with the tests; something that wasn't good but…. I couldn't reach it. He was blocking me. I should just tell him, he thought. I nodded eagerly in response. Carlisle took a deep breath to brace himself, then he looked me in the eyes and told me the most shocking news of my life.
"Edward you're pregnant." I felt my jaw drop and heard someone gasp loudly.
"Wh – what?" He couldn't be serious. I mean how would this be possible? I haven't even… done it with anyone.
"Son, you're pregnant and I –", he was serious. That look on his face and the tone of his voice said it all. My stomach lurched and I jumped up, hoping to get to the bathroom in time, but my legs refused to support me. Jasper caught me and picked me up.
"Edward, bro. What is it?" Emmett was standing beside Jasper, who I was struggling against in my attempt to get to the bathroom.
"Bathroom." Thankfully, the word made its way out before the vomit did, and I clasped my hand over my mouth hoping to hold it in. Jasper carried me to the bathroom with vampire speed, in time for me to throw up in the sink.
When I was done, he handed me to Emmett who was standing in the doorway. Em took me from Jasper and carried me like a baby, trying to make me as comfortable as possible. As soon as he had me situated he glanced up at Jasper with wide eyes and proceeded to give me more shocking information.
"Your skin's warmer Edward. Not as warm as a human's but slightly warmer than it used to be." And it was true. I could feel the temperature difference between us and it scared me. Everything was so confusing.
Suddenly there were footsteps and Esme breezed into the room, giving me a peck on the cheek and stroking my hair. Then she turned to Jasper and shooed him away from the sink.
"Let me do that dear. You go back to the living room with Emmett and Edward."
I watched all this through half-lidded eyes, already exhausted. Jasper and Emmett headed back to the living room, but half way there, a chill ran through me and I shivered. Emmett felt it, and hugged me tighter to him while Jasper gave me a sympathetic look.
Back in the living room, Emmett placed me gently on the couch, while Jasper got a blanket and tucked me into it. Rose and Alice watched with worried looks and Carlisle sighed heavily.
"Carlisle, do you know who the father is?" Rosalie asked, curious.
He got up and sat down beside me, rubbing my arm soothingly. "I'm guessing it's someone from the pack, since the fetus is making Edward's organs work. Only a werewolf's temperature could manage that." This was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.
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