A/N: Writers block is still…blocking but this one came out of absolutely nowhere, proceeding to both crush my heart and remind me of how much these two really do love each other.
Hope you like.
And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest
The Luckiest, Ben Folds
He wakes her up one morning by kissing the inside of her thigh and her eyes flutter open, her startled gasp turning into a low moan as he lifts the sheets a little higher and tugs her leg around his head.
"Morning babe." Is all he murmurs and she stuffs her fingers into his hair and rolls her hips because yes, right there. The best way he's figured out how to wake her up, ever (though the other ways aren't exactly awful, he has a few).
He sinks against her soon after, her legs knotted around his waist, her soft moan, the way she's pushing up into him, making him black out a little.
The morning soon stretches on into the afternoon. It's one of those rare days where nothing seems to threaten them, or seemingly be urgent enough to see to. It's a calm day the two of them seize right up.
Before they know it, the sun isn't streaming through the curtains anymore and they can hear crickets, the night summer air warm and heavy.
They haven't left her room once (they couldn't care less).
"Can I ask you something?" She whispers. They're feet to nose currently, somehow ending up at opposite ends of the bed.
He kisses the bump of her ankle. "Of course you can."
She wonders for a moment, if maybe this conversation would be more appropriate or even easier if they were facing one another but it's better almost, she thinks, that they're not.
"Do you ever think about children?" She tucks her head beneath her arms, hearing the thump of her heart against her ear.
He holds his breath for a moment too long and it exhales out across her toes; they wriggle around it and he catches them gently with his hand as he sits up.
"Yes." He answers honestly, tugging her over so that's lying on her back.
Both of her feet are now in his lap, between his hands and she flicks her toes against his stomach.
"Me too." She says quietly and looks at him, suddenly feeling anxious. They had never (maybe as a silent rule) talked about the fact that they couldn't have children together. They had never talked about the future. She doesn't know why she was bringing it up now.
Now was their future.
"I think about you pregnant."
This makes her heart stop. She stares at him, frowning a little.
"You do?" She asks, and smiles as he gazes at her quietly, because if she thinks about it, it's the most romantic thing she's heard.
Also, possibly the sexiest.
"Yeah, I think you would look beautiful." He says softly and puts her left foot down to pick up the right one, rubbing the skin between his fingers, "More." He whispers and she almost doesn't hear it, said against her heel as he brings it to his lips to kiss.
"Does it break your heart?" She asks and turns her head away; it might be easier to hear the answer if she doesn't have to look at his face, at the way it changes when he says it.
She's surprised to feel her feet being placed down on to the mattress and she looks back towards him just as he's sitting forward, rising to hover above her head.
"I don't need a baby. Not if I have you."
He leans down to kiss her and her knees fall further open of their own accord, fitting him between her thighs. She arches into his stomach as their kiss deepens, meeting his tongue.
When they break apart, panting softly and he's leaving dozens of kisses, wet and sloppy, just the way she likes them, against the side of her neck, she tells him what's he's wanted to ask her but isn't brave enough to.
"It breaks mine."
She suddenly thinks of what Damon told her, long ago, about vampire's not being able to procreative but loving to try. She knows better than to repeat it out loud now.
He keeps his head buried, protected by her hair, by the skin of her neck, for a moment.
"Yes it breaks my heart," He says, against the side of her face. She can barely feel the edge of his lips.
"Not being able to give you children…give us children, that I'm keeping you from that. It completely breaks my heart."
It's quiet for a while after that. They stay beside each other, without moving for a long time. He fiddles with her hair and breathes in and out softly into her cheek and she wants to turn her face, to look at him but can't. Where they were, was okay anyway. For just a little while.
"If I could give you a baby, I would." She whispers quietly.
The sun had disappeared completely now but she can just make out the leaves of the tree outside her window, swaying against the quiet breeze; she's glad she left the window wide open.
"I love you." There are already tears, thick in her throat.
He untucks himself from her shoulder and rises back up onto his hands, placed at either side of her face.
"I've asked myself, questioned, why this happened to me. Why we met when we did, but I always come to the same conclusion, no matter how many times I fight against it, no matter how upset, or angry it makes me. That things aren't different."
She stares up at him, cupping his face with her hand. Her fingers seem to find his lips, "And what's your conclusion?"
He moves himself back down beside her and she turns with him so they're face to face with their feet entangled.
"That I am lucky enough to have this time with you at all."
Warm tears slip across her cheeks; he rubs his nose against them.
"The luckiest." She breathes.