Chapter Uno
Aka
Author, stick this story into a certain place in the Kingdom of Lancre.
On Discworld, there is just one sorcerer these days, and even he is retired, so why bother? But… Who knows?
On the sandy shore of the Circle Sea, one of the rocks covering a certain gate cracked a little…
In the glorious great sprawling twin city of Ankh-Morpork the bells started to ring. His Grace Duke of Ankh Commander Samuel Vimes aka "Old Stoneface" Vimes lifted his head off the table. There was a small cup by his face with some Klatchian Coffee splashing in it quietly. Sam wanted to swear, but hearing familiar creaks of the Pseudopolis Yard flooring said loudly:
"Sergeant! Come in!"
The door opened. Behind it was someone Samuel Vimes has never expected to see.
They say that it's rare that a person has eight sons. This is right.
They also say that it is even rarer that an eighth has eight sons. This is also right.
They say that and eighth son of an eighth son is a wizard. This was proven many times.
It is also said that and eighth son of a wizard is a Sorcerer, which is exactly why wizards are discouraged from much contact with women. This was always true and there was a precedent recently, with a Sorcerer named Coin.
Most of the times wizards don't have any children so there won't be any chance of Sorcery.
Curiously, all of the stories end at the Sorcerer.
In reality, some Sorcerers had sons, but never eight, because no-one ever wanted to know who would be born, because such a person would be a source of every kind of light for Creatures from Dungeon Dimensions.
However…
Very, very long time ago there was a working man somewhere in Quirm. He had eight brothers.
At the end of his life he had eight sons and a lot of riches. He never knew how wizards appeared, thinking that it was related to heredity.
His eighth son was also a working man and did not even suspect he was a wizard, and his father did not have the heart to tell him and send him to the UU, The Unseen University at Ankh-Morpork. So, the wizard had seven sons and no staff, but who needs it these days? When he and his (curiously, always, always) lovely wife were both 50, he had another child. A Sorcerer. His lack of intelligence on this matter led him to believe that his eighth child was normal like him. Unluckily, nobody said that the wizard himself was normal - not many people can keep a garden, which everyone was jealous of and was mentioned in Times, perfect over years and years.
When the wizard died, the first son inherited most of his items. And the Sorcerer… He settled in Ankh-Morpork, where he got an excellent job and seldom used magic – more like the magic just coiled around him and improved some of the aspects of his life, but very rarely and it wasn't even as if he really needed it.
The Sorcerer had… Right, eight children. The first seven were normal. But the eighth…
Update may be soon, but I sooo doubt it…
One of the upcoming chapters will be about Monopoly. And Teatime. Don't ask.