BPOV:

Edward and I were just coming back to the house from the cottage; Renesmee was out with Jacob hunting, and we knew they'd be back soon. Emmett was watching baseball; I don't know much about the sport except it's often played by vampires during thunder storms.

"Hey, Eddie; guess what?! Washington just got a home run. Finally, I mean, it's been so long since anyone from this state got a home run," he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Grrr… Something just had to be done about this. I just can't take it anymore. I flitted upstairs and sat on a couch. Edward came up after me.

"What are you doing? Ignore him, don't be upset," Edward sat next to me.

"Shhh," I reprimanded him, "I'm planning my revenge."

"Oh…" Edward replied, "I leave you to it, then." He sat silently while I thought. Now what does Emmett love more than anything? I've got it. I ran downstairs and opened the phonebook. I could hear Alice stifling her giggles as she came walking in.

"It's perfect, Bella. Wait until you see the look on his face…" She walked out. Good, it was going to work. I found the phone number for the rehab center I wanted. I called, and the receptionist picked up the phone on the fourth ring.

"Hello, Seattle's obsessive behavior rehab facility, what can I do for you today?"

"Hi," I began, "I have a brother-in-law who I believe needs to be checked in for a bit. Might you be able to send someone to pick him up? His name is Emmett Cullen."

"Right away, ma'am."

"Thank you," I hung up. Oh, this was going to be good.

A little later…

I rose to answer the knock at the door.

"Is this the Cullen residence?" A man in a white uniform asked.

"Yes, it is," I replied, "Are you here for my brother-in-law. I talked to someone on the phone."

"Yes, that's right," the man replied, looking impatient. This was probably his last pick-up for the day by the look of it.

"All right, I'll call him down. EMMETT!" I called. He came down.

"Yes, Bella? What? I'm in the middle of beating Jasper's butt in a video game."

"These men are going to take you somewhere they can help you. Please go with them, they just want to help." I said, barely managing to keep a straight face.

"WHAT?! I don't have a problem, how could I," he asked, confused. Obviously, he couldn't take drugs. I put my arm around him in a sisterly way.

"Emmett, Emmett, Emmett, my sex-a-holic brother. You have a VERY big problem. You just CAN'T have a relationship with Rose based only on sex. I'm sorry, as your sister I feel I have to make sure your relationship is stable enough to last forever," I emphasized forever, it meant something different to us than it did to humans. "When you come back I'm sure you'll be a different man." I said.

"What?! Oh…" he said. He was led outside by the men in the white suits. He turned to glare at me. He knew this was payback, and he also knew there was no getting out of it. The whole family burst out laughing as soon as the door was closed. Jasper came over and patted me on the back, chortling.

"That…was…wonderful," He managed to squeeze out, "You have…no idea…what…he was feeling!" Truthfully, I wasn't so sure I wanted to know. I knew we would have to smuggle him out before he got so thirsty he began drinking humans, but we could leave him in there for a couple days. I giggled as I thought what he would go through. Not only would he be treated for his "dependence on sex," he would have to eat human food for at least two days.

Oh, revenge is sweet.