That Cleansing Feeling
By: Ryocha
When Suboshi opened his drowsy eyes, all that was visable was a mass cauldron of swirling colours, interchanging and mixing with little difference in between. Familiar shapes were incomprehensible, as nothing could be made out. All of his senses were blocked, as though he were confined inside a tiny box. His forehead was sweltering hot, his nose clogged and his body heavy, sweating excessibly.
Suddenly, to break open the door to his tiny box, was a sudden cool sensation that pushed aside all other tracks of thought. It pressed against his forehead, and he made a muffled noise in between shock and distress when it touched his clammy skin.
"Shh." A warm voice filled his ears. It sounded as though it were whispering. "Stay still and don't move; the guards are walking by."
Despite not being able to recognize the owner of the heavenly voice, Suboshi had a gut feeling he could trust this person. He tried to move, perhaps in order to attempt to see this person more clearly. He cursed his bad vision due to his sickness.
Again, the voice reappeared, "Shun-chan, don't move. You're as sick as you can possibly get by now." Suddenly, a warm hand covered his own. Where his own hand was, he did not know. He felt numb all over, and the whereabouts of his extra limbs were unknown to him. But now, with the warmth of two hands clasping his clammy left, he felt safe. Mustering enough energy, he squeezed the hand back and smiled to himself.
He felt the kind person beside him pull his limp torso into its chest. It was then that he realized the person he was leaning on was male, as he took note immediately of the firm, flat surface his head now rested on.
Now, wherever he was, he was now leaning on a complete stranger whom was cradling him as though they were two lovers lying in a peaceful field, enjoying the sunlight that basked them. Though Suboshi knew there were no fields left in Kutou. All of them were currently being used to fight what was left of the civil war; and if there was one that was silent, it was torn to pieces with multiple corpses streun left and right as though a child had ripped apart an unfavourite doll.
With these tainted thoughts occupying his minds' eye, the younger of the Bou twins fell into unconsciousness.
"Shunkaku. Hey, Shun-chan. Wake up…"
A pair of chocolate brown eyes opened slowly, and realized his vision was just as blurry as before. Despite his memories being blurred by his sickly state, he manged to remember the voice that was speaking to him. It was that stranger that had cradled him caringly in the alleyway near where the guards were doing their roundly checks.
So I'm alive, he thought drearily. He squinted his eyes in a vain attempt to see the person who had saved him.
"I… I feel a lot better…" he told the mysterious voice. A soft chuckle was his response, and Suboshi felt his heart flutter suddenly. What was this feeling awakening inside him?
"That's good to hear." The male voice replied. "I was so worried that I'de have lost you back there. But…" he paused, and the sound of a cloth being wrung interupted his speech, "An old couple let me take you to their house so we can wait out your fever."
Again, he felt a hand touch his forehead. The hand was calloused, but none the less it made his heart skip a beat. It was brushing back his bangs, and then a cold cloth replaced the warm sensation.
"We can stay here a while and wait while until get better. I doubt I can take you out right now, anyway." The mysterious boy explained calmly. Behind his words, Suboshi could tell the person was tired. He had stayed up to take care of him, after all.
A comfortable silence settled over the house, making the sick twin feel at ease. Far of in the distance he could hear the marching of the soldiers, and the cries that bellowed out of their lungs that followed after every few loud clanking steps.
Sensing the growing urgency to run from Suboshi, the quiet man beside him broke their stalemate. "They won't come over here, don't worry." He whispered.
It was driving the twin mad; he NEEDED to know the face behind the voice. It sounded so familiar, yet his sickness was dulling his senses and memory. Straining his eyes, he caught sight briefly of the person that was pulling his heartstrings for the past day and a half.
He blinked. It was his own twin brother, Kotoku.
"…Brother?" He felt a sense of numbingness fall over him very quickly. He felt dumb, even though his brother had reffered to him by his cute nickname, he still wasn't able to match the two together.
His twin turned to face him, and smiled softly at his other self muttering that familiar word Amiboshi had grown to love. "Yes?" He responded back, soft brown eyes narrowing as though trying to spot a problem.
A pause. "It's nothing. I can see better now, though." How odd, as soon as he realized it was his own twin sibling, he thought his feelings would change automatically. But they weren't, and this perplexed Suboshi thoughroughly.
He recognized one set as the love he had for his brother, but the other one… he had felt it before for a girl in their village. It was brief, but he recognized the butterfly feeling in his gut every time she giggled, or laughed, or even managed to look his way. That feeling mixed with a deeper respect he held for the once mysterious voice made him match the two different experiences together. The reaction was almost the exact same.
But… knowing this made him feel a bit shocked and scared. Shocked at how he came to this conclusion, and yet scared because he didn't DARE want to test it out. He was far too relentful to show such emotions to anyone; atleast, not right now. One wrong move and his head could be rolling.
"Shun-chan."
Suboshi titled his head slowly towards Amiboshi, wincing as a jolt of pain went up and down the muscles from his jawline to his chest. Despite his sickness dieing down, he was still in a lot of pain.
"Let me… try something," The elder of the two took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the mat. "I've been trying to perfect the handling of my chi, and I found a way to cure your illness through using my chi."
Suboshi's face, despite being horridly discoloured, lit up suddenly with a smile, "Really brother? Can you use it right now?"
The other boy nodded slowly, looking very nervous.
"Whatever you do, do not tell anyone about this. It would put us both in danger if anyone found out what I'm about to do." The nervous tone of his twin's voice made Suboshi suddenly suspicious as to what the method was that was supposed to cure him.
"Alright, but please heal me fast! I hate being like this!" The younger twin whined, pleading eyes yielding no discouragement, making his twin brother cave into his demands. "Alright, but please do one thing."
"What?"
"Close your eyes."
Bleak chocolate eyes closed slowly, trusting in his twins' ability and became relaxed. The other pair of chocolate eyes, hovering just above the matted dark brown hair of his twin, were filled with worry and anxiety. Slowly, Amiboshi lowered his face until their lips connected, marked by a surprised "Oh!" by Suboshi.
It wasn't half bad, the younger twin tried to compromise with the other half of his conscious that was nerv-wracked. It tasted kind of bad, but still, it was something the boy could take pride in knowing that he was having his first kiss at the age of twelve.
Slowly did Amiboshi move his lips, trying to find the method to bring out his chi through his lips. Prodding his tongue against parched lips, he managed to force open the warm cavern that smelled of sickness.
Soon though, you'll be better, brother.
Shunkaku's eyes went wide, his body suddenly becoming very rigid as he felt his brother prod his tongue shyly into his mouth. A million thoughts raced through his head, followed by the blood flushing out of his brain to make him numb. What… was he supposed to do right now?
Ah, there we go…Suddenly, a warm sensation filled his mouth. He felt Amiboshi's lips move against his own, and he found himself responding back slowly. He didn't want this feeling of warmth to stop. It was as though he could sense everything around him: the feeling of the mat against his sore back, the squeeze his older twin brother just gave him right now on his shoulder, the sound of the guards fading into the distance, the sound of the village bell being clanged to signify the opening of the marketplace.
And then, he was healed.
With a loud smack the twins broke the kiss. Amiboshi pulled away immediately and fell over, panting loudly. He clutched his chest with a pained expression on his face, barely able to support himself while he leaned on his one arm. He had used up too much of his chi, and now he was the one that was weak and sickly.
Brown eyes tried to regain their once perfect vision. But the black world around him was closing in, and he collapsed with a moan of pain over his brother's body.
"Kotoku! Brother!"
Suboshi felt several things at this moment. Embaressment. Guilt. Health. All because now his brother lay unconcious on his lap, breathing softly. Fingers intertwined in his matted hair, massaging the scalp to perhaps try and bring comfort to the sleeping form.
Just as he promised, he healed me. But now it was he, the younger brother, who needed to take care of his older brother. Their roles had switched, and now the healthy twin felt a sense of responsibility wash over him he never felt before. Brown eyes narrowed at the sleeping body curled into him, and he ran one tentive hand over the exposed skin of his brothers' neck, taking in the warmth that melted into his own. He felt a shivver run up and down his spine, and he decided that he liked this feeling. He liked the feeling of being a protector, of being there for his brother. It was the first time he could remember being needed like this, since Amiboshi was always the one to handle any complications that ever concerned him. Just for a little while, he told himself with a small smile, he was his brother's guardian.
Continuing to keep one hand on his brother's head, he leaned over slowly and placed a kiss on Amiboshi's cheek, nuzzling the warm spot knowing that things were going to be different from now on.
-Owari