Title: Why Shepard Doesn't Drive
Author: May Chang
Warnings: general, humor
Pairings: None
Disclaimers: Mass Effect is the property of Bioware.
Why Shepard Doesn't Drive
It took a while but people started to notice that whenever they had a mission, Shepard always had someone else drive. Kaidan never really thought about it as he automatically did the driving when he was on the team with Shepard. Ashley was the same as well, letting the sentinel drive if the three of them were on the same team, but whenever it was one of the others Shepard would have one of them drive.
So one day in the cockpit of the Normandy Tali finally asked why Shepard didn't drive. The commander actually looked embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his neck before explaining that he had no sense of direction. It wasn't much of an answer though as he always seemed to know just where to go during missions. Even Joker gave the commander a "yeah right" look. Shepard didn't say anything else but the location of their next mission.
It was three missions later that Garrus and Liara found out why Shepard didn't drive. He drove only because the two were injured and they were getting the hell out of a firefight. The words "reckless," "directionally-challenged" and "fucking insane" - and it was Garrus who said all that, Liara just made a bee-line straight to the infirmary looking rather green - made the rest of the crew a little wary of letting Shepard behind the wheel. And then they saw the Mako.
And it was supremely wrecked.
They stared at the Mako and then turned to look at Shepard. The commander just gave them all a sheepish look and shrugged. And with that they all silently made an agreement to never, ever let the man behind the wheel.