Vegeta's Day Off
Authors Note:Well, I've been seriously considering what some people have said about my treating of the midget prince..."You're so mean to him"..."What did he do to you??"..."Why don't you give him a break??"....fine, I'll give him a break, a day of absolutely no torture...now the question is, can I make it??
Vegeta slouched on the couch watching Dora The Explorer. Why was he watching Dora The Explorer, of all things??
Dora:Now to get backpack to come out yell "Backpack!!"
::pause::
Dora:Louder!!
::pause::
::backpack appears::
"It's amazing how even when you don't say anything the thing still happens..."Vegeta said bored. Then I appeared in front of the TV grinning.
"Konichi-wa, saiya-jin no ouji."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Vegeta screamed automatically leaping behind the couch.
"Um...anyway, Im not here to torture you...Im giving you a day off..."I said still grinning.
"What??? Then why are you grinning?? You're planning something, aren't you??"Vegeta said peering his eyes at me from behind the couch.
"No, Im just gonna hang around here today, but I won't be torturing you..."I said.
"Really??"Vegeta asked, not sure whether to believe me or not.
"Really."I answered smiling.
"YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Vegeta cheered."I DON'T BELIEVE IT,THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"You better savor it while it lasts,Vegetable breath."I muttered plopping on the couch. I started flipping channels when Vegeta sat beside me.
An hour later...
Vegeta trained in the gravity room as I sat in the kitchen, bored out of my mind.
"Im not going to drop it...Im not going to drop it...Im not going to drop it..."I chanted, trying desperately not to drop a boulder on his head.
"Hi PV!!" Chibi Bra shouted running in the kitchen.
"Hi Bra."I said in a monotone voice, still laying my head sideways.
"I wanted to play with Papa,but he said he was busy and to ask you."Bra said.
"Fine,what are we playing."I asked getting up.
"Barbies!!"she shouted happily.
"Oh no, I don't go that far. I REFUSE to play with barbies."
The next thing I knew I was brushing Skipper's hair sitting on Bra's bed with a pile of Barbies sitting in front of me. Half of them were missing clothes.
"I swear,they should ban Barbie into hell..."
"Let's play with potty training Kelly!!"Bra shouted happily.
"Goodie. Can we play something else now??"I begged.
"No."Bra said putting potty training Kelly on it's miniature toilet.
"Note to self...destroy Mattel."I mumbled putting a dress on the Skipper doll.
"Let's have Barbie and Ken go to the ball!!"Bra shouted happily.
"Not Ken...I know, how about Ken goes with Skipper, then Barbie catches him, and kills Ken with a ki blast."I said happily.
"That's funny, you sound like Papa. We can't do that because Ken loves Barbie, and Barbie can't shoot ki blasts."Bra explained thinking I was joking."Even Daddy knows Barbie can't shoot ki blasts."
"Trust me, I could make her shoot ki blasts..."I grumbled."Can I kill Ken now??"
"But then Barbie would cry..."Bra said sadly.
"No, she would just find another boyfriend."I replied ready to blast Ken.
"Don't blast Ken!! Daddy got that for my birthday!!"she said.
"I could only imagine the chaos he went through at the store to get this Ken doll...I'd like to write that, but it would be cliche."
"You're Barbie."she said handing me Barbie in a pink dress.
"How'd I ever let myself get suckered into this."I mumbled raising an eyebrow at the matured children's toy.
Ken:Oh Barbie!! Will you please go to the ball with me??
Barbie:No!! Im going to watch DBZ all night and bum out!!
"That's all wrong!!"Bra shouted slightly."She's supposed to say yes, and then you pick out her dress, and then they dance at the ball together."
"...You have no imagination..."I said removing it's clothes and looking in the big pile of clothes. Then I got a plan. An EVIL plan. This is the part where you're supposed to be frightened.
::annoying dramatic music::
Ken: ::sounds like he's growling:: I wonder where Barbie is, she's VERY LATE...
Skipper:(Bra,by the way) ::sounds like she's growling:: Why, Barbie's never late for ANYTHING...I can't figure out WHY she would be LATE!!!
"I get you, Bra, but Im almost done."I said letting Bra know the hinting and nudging with the barbies was unnecesary.
Barbie: ::'walks' in wearing all leather mistress kinda outfit carrying a miniature whip::
Bra's eyes widened.
Barbie: ::hic:: Hey guys, let's partay!!
"THAT'S ALL WRONG!!!!"Bra shouted. I fell backwards from the projectory of the yell. Living with Bulma pays off sometimes.
"I like it that way."I said sweatdropping.
"IM gonna be Barbie!!"she shouted pulling the Barbie's leg. I pulled back by it's hair. The head soon popped off."You broke her!!!"
Bra started crying as I fixed the barbie and ran out before she could say anything.
"Phew...Im free..."I mumbled to myself panting. I plopped on the couch and started watching TV.
Meanwhile, Yamcha died. I just felt like making him perish from existence. Yet, back at CC, Vegeta trained...BORING...so, nothing's really happening anywhere else in the world...I know!!
Vegeta suddenly got X-ray vision. It's not torturing,because I think he will like the X-ray vision.
"X-RAY VISION!! SWEET!!!"Vegeta shouted looking through the wall.(Like I said...)He saw Bulma walk by through the wall. He gaped at what he saw..."Ahehehe...it's not like I haven't seen THAT before..."
Then Gohan walked by. Vegeta froze stock still, staring at Gohan's ::cough::.
"I-i-it's h-huge!!"Vegeta shouted in astonishment. Don't you love my sick humor??
"PV!!!!! GET BACK UP HERE AND PLAY IT RIGHT!!!!!!!"I heard Bra yell from her room.
"Damn, she's discovered Im gone..."I cursed."Gotta hide...gotta hide..."
Bra stomped down the stairs in rage, and then I got a plan. Trunks appeared at the bottom of the staircase. He looked around in confusion.
"Trunks!!! PV left, will you come play with me??"
"No way, imoto!! Im outta here!!"
And just as he was about to zoom out the door, Bra burst into tears. He snapped. Just like his father he couldn't stand Bra's tears.
"Ok..."
"YAY!!!!" Bra cheered dragging him up the stairs. I peeked from behind the couch and gave a sigh of relief seeing Bra gone, flipping channels again.
"There is nothing on out of 450 channels..."
Vegeta walked in the room hoping to have the TV to himself so he could watch Baywatch with his new X-ray vision. He walked in and stopped stock still.
"Ooooo..."he said starting to nosebleed. I slapped him calling him a Master Roshi wanna-be and left the room.(I wonder how many of you gets this joke)
"Now for Baywatch."Vegeta said grinning stupidly.
"Oh brother."I said from the other room. I raided the fridge, and Gohan walked by. Vegeta just gaped.
"So...huge..."
***
"WHY CAN'T I GET THIS RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?"Chi Chi screeched slamming down her wooden spoon. She was at home, trying to cook a new recipe. She just couldn't seem to get it right somehow, as good of a cook she is."I don't get it, I can cook everything else there is, but I can't make this???"
"Whatcha tryin' to make, Kassan??"Goten asked curiously. Chi Chi sighed, it embarassed her she couldn't cook such a simple meal."Well??"
"Homemade macaroni and cheese."she told him sighing.
"Oh, I see what's wrong."Goten answered. He measured 2 more cups of cheese then she had put in."Now cook it."
Chi Chi put it in the oven and waited till it was done, then tasted it.
"Wow!!! This is great!!!"Chi Chi exclaimed in surprise. Goten had eaten it all in 5 seconds."How did you do that Goten??"
Goten shrugged and left the room. Chi Chi got to work on making it on her own. She did exactly as Goten had, then tried it. It turned out great once again, this time Goku being the one to finish it off. Chi Chi, now having perfected every recipe known to man, went on a homemade mac and cheese bonanza.
***
Vegeta drooled, staring at the TV. He was watching runway models now. He reminded me of Johnny Bravo at that moment. I, on the other hand, was sitting at the table eating like a saiya-jin staring at Vegeta.
"I won't drop it...I won't drop it...I won't drop it..."I chanted stuffing my face.
Vegeta continued to drool.
"I won't drop it...I won't drop...it...I won't...drop it..."
Vegeta: ::drool::
"I.....won't.....drop......it...."
And then I dropped it, perfect aim. The boulder made a huge crash as it hit him, and I burst into laughter.
"AH YES!!!! THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!! I LOVED IT!!!"I shouted happily.
"Ow..."Vegeta groaned. He lost his x-ray power then, and could never use it, or look at Gohan the same way, again.
3 months later....
"Goten, why did you ever show your mother what was wrong with the mac and cheese..."Goku asked him sweatdropping.
"I didn't know that was all she was going to make for 3 months..."Goten answered also sweatdropping."Kassan, can I eat at Trunks' house??"
"NO, son, we're having my famous mac and cheese tonight!!"
"Even I don't feel like eating..."Goku muttered sighing.
"That is a miracle in itself."Gohan said, doing his homework.
The End
Authors Note:Well, I've been seriously considering what some people have said about my treating of the midget prince..."You're so mean to him"..."What did he do to you??"..."Why don't you give him a break??"....fine, I'll give him a break, a day of absolutely no torture...now the question is, can I make it??
Vegeta slouched on the couch watching Dora The Explorer. Why was he watching Dora The Explorer, of all things??
Dora:Now to get backpack to come out yell "Backpack!!"
::pause::
Dora:Louder!!
::pause::
::backpack appears::
"It's amazing how even when you don't say anything the thing still happens..."Vegeta said bored. Then I appeared in front of the TV grinning.
"Konichi-wa, saiya-jin no ouji."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Vegeta screamed automatically leaping behind the couch.
"Um...anyway, Im not here to torture you...Im giving you a day off..."I said still grinning.
"What??? Then why are you grinning?? You're planning something, aren't you??"Vegeta said peering his eyes at me from behind the couch.
"No, Im just gonna hang around here today, but I won't be torturing you..."I said.
"Really??"Vegeta asked, not sure whether to believe me or not.
"Really."I answered smiling.
"YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Vegeta cheered."I DON'T BELIEVE IT,THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"You better savor it while it lasts,Vegetable breath."I muttered plopping on the couch. I started flipping channels when Vegeta sat beside me.
An hour later...
Vegeta trained in the gravity room as I sat in the kitchen, bored out of my mind.
"Im not going to drop it...Im not going to drop it...Im not going to drop it..."I chanted, trying desperately not to drop a boulder on his head.
"Hi PV!!" Chibi Bra shouted running in the kitchen.
"Hi Bra."I said in a monotone voice, still laying my head sideways.
"I wanted to play with Papa,but he said he was busy and to ask you."Bra said.
"Fine,what are we playing."I asked getting up.
"Barbies!!"she shouted happily.
"Oh no, I don't go that far. I REFUSE to play with barbies."
The next thing I knew I was brushing Skipper's hair sitting on Bra's bed with a pile of Barbies sitting in front of me. Half of them were missing clothes.
"I swear,they should ban Barbie into hell..."
"Let's play with potty training Kelly!!"Bra shouted happily.
"Goodie. Can we play something else now??"I begged.
"No."Bra said putting potty training Kelly on it's miniature toilet.
"Note to self...destroy Mattel."I mumbled putting a dress on the Skipper doll.
"Let's have Barbie and Ken go to the ball!!"Bra shouted happily.
"Not Ken...I know, how about Ken goes with Skipper, then Barbie catches him, and kills Ken with a ki blast."I said happily.
"That's funny, you sound like Papa. We can't do that because Ken loves Barbie, and Barbie can't shoot ki blasts."Bra explained thinking I was joking."Even Daddy knows Barbie can't shoot ki blasts."
"Trust me, I could make her shoot ki blasts..."I grumbled."Can I kill Ken now??"
"But then Barbie would cry..."Bra said sadly.
"No, she would just find another boyfriend."I replied ready to blast Ken.
"Don't blast Ken!! Daddy got that for my birthday!!"she said.
"I could only imagine the chaos he went through at the store to get this Ken doll...I'd like to write that, but it would be cliche."
"You're Barbie."she said handing me Barbie in a pink dress.
"How'd I ever let myself get suckered into this."I mumbled raising an eyebrow at the matured children's toy.
Ken:Oh Barbie!! Will you please go to the ball with me??
Barbie:No!! Im going to watch DBZ all night and bum out!!
"That's all wrong!!"Bra shouted slightly."She's supposed to say yes, and then you pick out her dress, and then they dance at the ball together."
"...You have no imagination..."I said removing it's clothes and looking in the big pile of clothes. Then I got a plan. An EVIL plan. This is the part where you're supposed to be frightened.
::annoying dramatic music::
Ken: ::sounds like he's growling:: I wonder where Barbie is, she's VERY LATE...
Skipper:(Bra,by the way) ::sounds like she's growling:: Why, Barbie's never late for ANYTHING...I can't figure out WHY she would be LATE!!!
"I get you, Bra, but Im almost done."I said letting Bra know the hinting and nudging with the barbies was unnecesary.
Barbie: ::'walks' in wearing all leather mistress kinda outfit carrying a miniature whip::
Bra's eyes widened.
Barbie: ::hic:: Hey guys, let's partay!!
"THAT'S ALL WRONG!!!!"Bra shouted. I fell backwards from the projectory of the yell. Living with Bulma pays off sometimes.
"I like it that way."I said sweatdropping.
"IM gonna be Barbie!!"she shouted pulling the Barbie's leg. I pulled back by it's hair. The head soon popped off."You broke her!!!"
Bra started crying as I fixed the barbie and ran out before she could say anything.
"Phew...Im free..."I mumbled to myself panting. I plopped on the couch and started watching TV.
Meanwhile, Yamcha died. I just felt like making him perish from existence. Yet, back at CC, Vegeta trained...BORING...so, nothing's really happening anywhere else in the world...I know!!
Vegeta suddenly got X-ray vision. It's not torturing,because I think he will like the X-ray vision.
"X-RAY VISION!! SWEET!!!"Vegeta shouted looking through the wall.(Like I said...)He saw Bulma walk by through the wall. He gaped at what he saw..."Ahehehe...it's not like I haven't seen THAT before..."
Then Gohan walked by. Vegeta froze stock still, staring at Gohan's ::cough::.
"I-i-it's h-huge!!"Vegeta shouted in astonishment. Don't you love my sick humor??
"PV!!!!! GET BACK UP HERE AND PLAY IT RIGHT!!!!!!!"I heard Bra yell from her room.
"Damn, she's discovered Im gone..."I cursed."Gotta hide...gotta hide..."
Bra stomped down the stairs in rage, and then I got a plan. Trunks appeared at the bottom of the staircase. He looked around in confusion.
"Trunks!!! PV left, will you come play with me??"
"No way, imoto!! Im outta here!!"
And just as he was about to zoom out the door, Bra burst into tears. He snapped. Just like his father he couldn't stand Bra's tears.
"Ok..."
"YAY!!!!" Bra cheered dragging him up the stairs. I peeked from behind the couch and gave a sigh of relief seeing Bra gone, flipping channels again.
"There is nothing on out of 450 channels..."
Vegeta walked in the room hoping to have the TV to himself so he could watch Baywatch with his new X-ray vision. He walked in and stopped stock still.
"Ooooo..."he said starting to nosebleed. I slapped him calling him a Master Roshi wanna-be and left the room.(I wonder how many of you gets this joke)
"Now for Baywatch."Vegeta said grinning stupidly.
"Oh brother."I said from the other room. I raided the fridge, and Gohan walked by. Vegeta just gaped.
"So...huge..."
***
"WHY CAN'T I GET THIS RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?"Chi Chi screeched slamming down her wooden spoon. She was at home, trying to cook a new recipe. She just couldn't seem to get it right somehow, as good of a cook she is."I don't get it, I can cook everything else there is, but I can't make this???"
"Whatcha tryin' to make, Kassan??"Goten asked curiously. Chi Chi sighed, it embarassed her she couldn't cook such a simple meal."Well??"
"Homemade macaroni and cheese."she told him sighing.
"Oh, I see what's wrong."Goten answered. He measured 2 more cups of cheese then she had put in."Now cook it."
Chi Chi put it in the oven and waited till it was done, then tasted it.
"Wow!!! This is great!!!"Chi Chi exclaimed in surprise. Goten had eaten it all in 5 seconds."How did you do that Goten??"
Goten shrugged and left the room. Chi Chi got to work on making it on her own. She did exactly as Goten had, then tried it. It turned out great once again, this time Goku being the one to finish it off. Chi Chi, now having perfected every recipe known to man, went on a homemade mac and cheese bonanza.
***
Vegeta drooled, staring at the TV. He was watching runway models now. He reminded me of Johnny Bravo at that moment. I, on the other hand, was sitting at the table eating like a saiya-jin staring at Vegeta.
"I won't drop it...I won't drop it...I won't drop it..."I chanted stuffing my face.
Vegeta continued to drool.
"I won't drop it...I won't drop...it...I won't...drop it..."
Vegeta: ::drool::
"I.....won't.....drop......it...."
And then I dropped it, perfect aim. The boulder made a huge crash as it hit him, and I burst into laughter.
"AH YES!!!! THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!! I LOVED IT!!!"I shouted happily.
"Ow..."Vegeta groaned. He lost his x-ray power then, and could never use it, or look at Gohan the same way, again.
3 months later....
"Goten, why did you ever show your mother what was wrong with the mac and cheese..."Goku asked him sweatdropping.
"I didn't know that was all she was going to make for 3 months..."Goten answered also sweatdropping."Kassan, can I eat at Trunks' house??"
"NO, son, we're having my famous mac and cheese tonight!!"
"Even I don't feel like eating..."Goku muttered sighing.
"That is a miracle in itself."Gohan said, doing his homework.
The End