I've seen DragonBall so many times, I think I've memorized every interaction between Goku and ChiChi. I wrote this fanfic as an homage to those beloved moments from DB/DBZ that I hold dear to my heart.
I (of course) don't own DB/Z.
It was a peaceful and quiet night on Mt. Paozu, the nice, chill breeze and the sounds of crickets were the only sounds one could hear. The Son family had just returned home from a dinner party held at their friend Bulma Brief's home. All of their friends had gathered to reminisce and bond over their adventures together, it was almost the perfect night. What should have been a happy and memorable night ended up in a huge marital fight between wife Chichi and her husband Goku.
Chichi stormed into their home, busting doors open. She frantically removed pins from her hair that were holding up a stylized bun; she'd worked on it for hours prior to the party. She needed some kind of relief, her head filled with angry thoughts was about to explode.
"Oh, she reeaaaally went out of her way this time, didn't she?! She just HAD to humiliate me in front of all our friends!", began ChiChi filled with spite.
Goku followed his wife inside their home carrying their youngest in his arms, who was completely asleep and blissfully unaware of his parents quarrel.
"Awe c'mon Babe, you know she didn't mean it! Bulma was very drunk. You can't possibly take what she said seriously!", said Goku trying to appease his wife.
Chichi paused her steps and turned to face her husband, she pointed her finger at him accusingly.
"YOU..." She narrowed her eyes at him, "You're sidin' with her ain'tcha?! You just loooove your lil' friend Bulma don'tcha?!"
Her finger now a wobbling mess. Chichi was angry, her hick accent had come out.
Goku couldn't help it, he found his wife's jealousy tantrum adorable. It had been provoked by their friend Bulma's snarky comments about their marriage. They'd been married for 18 years and silly things like this still got under ChiChi's skin, when her cute little accent came out he couldn't help but tease her.
"Oooh, you want to fight this one don'tcha?!" said Goku with a hick accent, now playfully wobbling his index finger at her. He was mocking her, trying to get her to laugh so she could snap out of her bad mood. This was their first night alone in a long time, and Goku wanted to take advantage of the rare opportunity.
His playfulness however, did not sit well with his wife. She was extremely angry at him for not taking the issue seriously and so she turned her back to him, she couldn't even face him.
"Goku, take that child to bed and meet me in the bedroom." Ordered Chichi in a scary tone.
Chichi was fuming, she stormed off making her way to their bedroom. She undid the last pin holding her hair up, making it fall into a cascading mess of curls flying about, all the way down to her lower-back. The sweet scent of coconut shampoo trailing after her.
Goku was nervous, his wife was clearly upset... nevertheless he also found himself extremely attracted to her in this most inappropriate moment. He'd been looking forward to their return home.
One of the traits Goku loved most about ChiChi was her strong character. The whole night at Bulma's dinner party was one big seduction game for Goku. The entire night he was admiring his wife's strong will and sweet nature against Bulma's crass comments. Her "city clothes" were snug against her figure and left little to the imagination and now, after that raven mess cascading down her back left a trail of scent for him... let's just say he was looking forward to getting lost in that coconut mess, and leaving nothing to the imagination.
He adjusted a heavily sleeping Goten, and took him to the bedroom he shared with his older brother, Gohan. As quickly as he could he plopped the small child into the bed, he threw a blanket over him, then he hastily tucked him in and pushed back the baby spiked hair on his forehead and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. Sweet dreams, Goten! I'll spend all day with you tomorrow, but for now I gotta get to your mother before Gohan gets here. Goku said to himself, feeling a little guilty for being so quick to get rid of the little guy. The man was on a mission and the window to spend quality time with his wife was quickly closing.
Inside their bedroom Chichi kept pacing up and down like a lion in a cage. She was in the middle of changing into her night gown but was too distracted by her rage and ended up in nothing but a bra and tight panties.
As Goku was making his way to their bedroom he decided to take a quick stop in the bathroom. He needed to prep: he splashed his face with cool water and quickly ran a toothbrush with a little bit of toothpaste around his mouth. He rinsed his mouth and dried his face. He took his shirt off and took a quick whiff under his armpits and tried to decide whether his musk was sexy or repulsive. In the past Chichi had made it clear there was a fine line between the two. He decided it was sexy and went with it.
Goku finally made it to the bedroom and peeped a little, while opening the door slowly. ChiChi was standing in the middle of their bedroom with both hands on her hips, tapping her foot so fast she might just take flight. She kept shaking her head mumbling profanities, the veins in her forehead more pronounced than ever before. This is going to be a challenge, he thought. But after seeing her bottom in those tight white panties hugging her perfect curves and her voluptuous breasts bouncing up and down in a fury... He got all the encouragement he needed. "Let's play!", he whispered to Chichi's assets.
He walked into the bedroom and announced, "Hey Chichi, my favorite hobbies are reading and sports!" with both hands on his hips a giant wide grin. This was an old inside joke between them. That'll get her to smile, it's worked in the past, he was sure of it.
Chichi's face, on the other hand, started twitching in disbelief/anger. Her husband was just clueless! The most embarrassing thing that ever happened in her entire life, and her husband couldn't care less. Her nostrils flaring, and heat coming down her temples.
"Tell me Son Goku, do you agree with that Bulma?", she demanded from him. "Do you agree that I FORCED ya to marry me?", "Is that why you laughed along with the rest of the delinquents when she jabbed those nasty words at yer wife?! EH?!", Chichi spat at him.
"Honey, you're being ridiculous! We've been married for 18 years. Who cares what drunk Bulma thinks?!", Goku needed his wife to snap out of it, their oldest son was going to be home anytime now and at this rate he wouldn't spend any alone time with her.
"Oh, so you agree? You think I forced ya to marry me?! Is that whatch're sayin?... That it doesn't matter I FORCED ya because it's been 18 years and who cares?!", Chichi exploded. She threw her arms around like a monkey and faked a giant Goku-like-smile. "Who cares if the crazy hussy forced me, I'm Son-Kun I just sat there and got forced into marriage and made the best of it because I'm adorably clueless.", she stopped and crossed her arms. Chichi looked at Goku in the eyes, she desperately needed to hear her husband say otherwise.
"O.K. First of all, great impression of me." Said Goku, teasingly. "And second, Chichi you're putting words into my mouth, I NEVER said that." He slowly took a couple of steps closer to her, testing the waters but keeping a safe distance in case she decided to take a swing at him. "You didn't force me to marry you. I know that. You know that. So who cares what anyone else thinks?", He said softly and put his arms around the small of her waist. "C'mon, you're being silly. Although you make an adorably clueless-monkey, I don't like seeing you like this." He said, giving her a most sincere and heartwarming smile.
"GOKU, I CARE. Especially because YOU laughed and just let everyone think that what Bulma said is true. Why didn't you defend me? Why didn't you say something? Curse you! Why did you just let her throw me under the bus and laughed it off?" She spoke her truth. She was hurt and demanded an explanation.
Goku lowered his gaze and searched for an answer, trying to understand his wife. Clearly this was all a big misunderstanding."What are you talking about? It was clearly a joke and I laughed. That's all that was. A joke!" Why was ChiChi so upset with him? It was only a joke and everyone laughed, not just him.
"Goku-sa..." she said brokenhearted. "THAT was not a joke, it was a jab. Let me remind you exactly what she said, 'Hey remember what a little runt Goku used to be? Then he came back for the 23rd Tournament and he was looking hot as all hell! If Chichi hadn't come along and forced him to marry her, who knows what would have happened between the two of us!', finished ChiChi.
Goku didn't know what to say, it's not like he was comfortable with his friend making those kinds of comments, especially in front of their entire families. But that's Bulma for you... he thought to himself. Visibly scratching the back of his neck searching for something more useful to say.
"HA. HA. HA. What a FUN little joke." Said ChiChi, sardonically, interrupting his thoughts.
Goku understood why ChiChi was hurt, but he was not about to let his friends comments ruin their night. "That was... nice of her? She said your husband was hot as all hell." He answered in a desperate attempt to divert the situation.
"Quit being an idiot and answer me. Why did you laugh? Why didn't you defend me?" She said somberly, looking into his eyes with slight desperation. She NEEDED to hear him deny the accusation.
Goku looked at his beautiful wife, she was looking at him with those sad puppy eyes that made him cave in every time.
"Well Chi, you're not exactly the kinda girl who needs defendin'... Aaaaand stop acting like you just sat there patiently waiting for me to defend your honor. You actually pounced at her and BROKE her nose!" he said. He playfully pinched her nose so she wouldn't think he was scolding her. "She looked just like the Old Timer when he's watching girls mud wrestle. Red waterfalls pouring out of her face! Poor little Trunks watched his mother get punched out today, I hope you're happy." He smiled as he said that, knowing full-well it made him a hypocrite, remembering the million times he's punched Vegeta in front of Trunks.
ChiChi thought about it for a moment, she certainly didn't enjoy having punched the mother of a young, impressionable child. "Trunks said, 'Cool mom took a punch.', Chichi defended, arching her brow, not buying into the whole poor Bulma lecture.
"FINE. You get my point. You didn't even give me a chance to react, you got up and punched her face so fast I didn't even have time to blink. I'm really glad she was so drunk, she actually laughed it off. She's your friend too, you know?" he reminded her.
"I don't care about that right now!" She spat, running out of patience.
"Then... What is this all about, ChiChi?" Asked a very confused Goku.
"Why DID you marry me, Goku?" ChiChi asked.
Damn, Goku thought to himself.