I am kind of the epitome of reject. Don't get me wrong, I have a couple of friends but they are just as messed up as me. That's actually kind of a bonus because they just get it, you know? It's not like you can't tell by looking at me that I have issues. Like right now, at this table I am clearly a sore thumb. People stare, and I totally get that. I mean hell, I'd stare. I'm tall, thin and my hair is buzzed shorter in an undercut that fades to an almost silver tone on top. You could fit bottle caps in my ear lobes. I have over ten piercings of which only my ears, a small dermal under my right eye and tongue are visible. Black on black with hints of grey make up my closet, mostly band shirts from tours and skin tight pants.
Ask any kids that go to Trost Academy who Jean Kirstein is and they will look up as if straining their mind and eventually offer up "That punk rock guy that gets in too many fights, right?" It's a reputation years in the making honestly. To most people's surprise I am in the top ten of my class. We all sit together because, well… we just do. None of them know my favorite color or zodiac sign. Except maybe Connie. He's usually at my house and we do things together but we don't ever really talk. It's more of a head shots in halo relationship than a heart to heart over coffee thing. I think it's just because we have classes together half the time and through years of group projects and field trips they have bonded. Noticed I said they. I'm kind of a permanent outsider. I don't really try to be, I'm just a natural observer. And a natural asshole. I have been told numerous times I have no filter and I am insensitive and too vocal about my opinions. They are four hundred percent correct.
I'm a tool. A douche. A jerk. But hey, know thyself, right?
Were seniors now, at a swanky private school in the city of Sina. The table is one of those rectangle ones that have those plastic discs for seats and just always manage to kill your back. It's the end of lunch and I'm dying for a cigarette as I watch everyone laugh and talk. It's comfortable, seeing them happy. To my left is Connie, he's doing some impression which requires a leg on the table and growling. My friends are colorful to say the least. Connie is one of them. The other is Ymir, a tall bitchy girl with a major lady boner for Christa, the student body president. Ymir is kind of a sillier female version of me. She's way more social though. And a total jock, I mean volleyball, soccer, basketball…you name it, she's been there and gotten trophies. I guess us sarcastic and stand offish outcasts have to stick together.
Not going to lie, on the worse day of my life freshman year Ymir was the one to hold me, and I mean that full arms, face in what little boobs she has and hands in my hair way as she whispered support and full on just enveloped me. We banter like we hate each other but there's a respect and deep silence behind our gaze that just is there. I can't explain it really. She just knows, without saying.
"Are you gonna eat that?" I hear and turn to see Sasha, the resident stoner chick eyeing my baked beans. I laugh at her lustful gaze and slide my tray over. Sasha always reminded me of a super friendly dog. Not in a demeaning way or anything. I can visualize her auburn ponytail wagging at the sight of any friendly person or meal. Plus she will really just stare into your soul while you eat until you offer her some. God help us all when she's out of weed and ADHD meds. She is insanely hyper and the queen of pranks. I still remember when she and Connie decided to spread butter over my floor and watch as I busted my ass. They even laughed driving me to the emergency room with three broken toes.
The rest of my friends, I didn't know much about. I hadn't hung out with anyone else one on one. I always appreciated Christa's kindness. Reiner was a total good guy, like super helpful and kind of terrifying at the same time because he had the body mass of a terminator. Then the little dude that always hung out with that asshat Yaeger was usually pretty solid. Armin was the usual designated driver and the one who saved all of our asses during finals. Everything out of the kid's mouth was just so fucking sound. His advice was flawless and he was so supportive. It was almost enough to make you sick at times, you know? I'd have to say if there was an opposite of me, it would be Armin. Like I'm the black and he's the white and all of our other friends fit in somewhere in that grey area.
I gaze over and he's laughing at Connie and tapping a pencil on a notebook. Today his blonde hair is pulled back on his head in a little bun. It looked like the little donut holes they try to sell in cups by the coffee line. The dress code here was relative. People gave Armin shit for his hair, he's was a scholarship student so he had to toe the line. Since dear old dad paid for the new gym expansion I was simply given a pass. I don't know why but as I looked at that little bun of hair and ran my tongue ring against my teeth I felt almost guilty for getting by with murder around here. Almost. Remember, I'm a jerk?
"Oh, is Jean-Boy going to grace us with some conversation today?" I hear Eren Yaeger's voice and roll my eyes. He was Armin's best friend and must have mistaken my stare at the blonde as interest in whatever bullshit he was spewing. All eyes turned to me and part of my stomach turned. I looked down for a second then realized my ego wouldn't let me not one up this brat. "Depends are you gracing us with something besides talking about yourself?" I saw Eren's mouth gap open and shut again like a fish. I saw a red scarf lean into view and mentally cursed. His adopted sister, Mikasa could kick my ass any day, I took the warning and flashed a 'just kidding, man' smile with total insincerity.
A small taste of awkward filled the air. Eren and I had been known to butt heads a few times. It had never failed that someone, somehow diffused the situation before it came to blows. People babied Eren because his mom died in a house fire and apparently he had issues. Well, my mom's dead too and you don't see me fucking whining about it and getting pity.
"What was your face book post about Jean? The one about a new job?" Christa's voice broke the silence, changed the subject and peeked everyone's gossipy little interests all at the same time. God bless that little cherub. Looking at her soft smile and light blue eyes and felt a pain of sympathy for Ymir. Anyone could love Christa.
"I'm the house DJ for some club downtown." I say nonchalantly. Everyone knows I'm a music fiend. Well, they should anyway. Armin's head snapped up. "Oh really? That's great! Which club?" He asked and I bit my lip. Should I tell them? Hell no! Of course I'm not. Wings of Freedom was a private dance club and lounge. It was a gay bar. I mean, that didn't bother me in the least. The owners where hella crazy and ran the last guy off. I actually got contacted online for it and had yet to see the place. But it was better than working at some fast food joint. "The Garrison!" I say, since I know it's a twenty one and over bar and no one will expect to run into me there. They can't really catch me in the lie because as far as I know only Ymir is gay and no one is old enough to get into The Garrison. It seemed like a perfect lie at the time.
Eren, Armin and Mikasa all looked at each other and for a second I thought they were making fun of me or something. I shrug it off and nod politely to congratulations and high fives. "I actually start tonight. So I'm pretty stoked." I even got a literal pat on the back from Connie. The anxiety hit me that I know jack shit about this bar. I mean it had to be decent…right? I pulled out my phone and googled like my life depended on it.
The address, some reviews and a website popped up. I clicked the reviews. Three stars were good, wasn't it? I let my eyes skim and was conflicted. It ranged from "I had the best night of my life!" To "The bar tender is terrible. The music is mediocre and I literally got my nose broken in the alley. Avoid this place." I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. I clicked the official site and saw a logo of two crossing wings, one white, one rainbow that was made up of smaller rectangles. It was kinda cool looking to be honest. I read the description and immediately felt my gut plummet like I was on a roller coaster.
"Trost's pioneer LGBT club complete with two stories, two bars and a hookah lounge. Upstairs is the karaoke lounge and billiards; down stairs is the dance floor and stage. We have exotic dancers and host a weekly DNR. Nationally rated and a proud supporter of PRIDE in Trost we also host benefits for HIV/AIDs research and domestic abuse. Membership is…" What the hell was this? Hookah?! Strippers?! Benefit banquets? And I have zero clues what DNR stands for. I decided to check out what was going on tonight by clicking the calendar. All it said was The Captain, DNR, free drink with donation to food bank.
My lips pursed out to the side like some haphazard kiss. This would be an adventure for sure. There really was no point in worrying though. I'd already signed up. I just put it out of my mind and tried to wrap my head around course work. This wasn't really hard considering we were covering a unit on astrology that was beginning to lean into astrophysics and that just made my brain hurt. Of course I would feel out of place and nervous. But that was me most of the time anyway, so why not at least broaden my horizons and get some experience in as a DJ while putting back some cash. Honestly I didn't need the money. I could just ask my dad but that would require talking to him, which I avoided at all cost. So this was independence for me as well as a chance to be doing something I love. It sounds like a win - win situation.
The day dragged on, I was kind of on autopilot with my brain running and imaging scenario's both good and bad. Maybe a few had a healthy dose of horrific. Once I pulled my Lexus into the drive I ran upstairs and looked at myself as I lit a cigarette in the mirror. There I stood in my pale, lanky six foot even glory. And by glory I mean mildly manorexic and self-loathing with a big serving of body modifications. I was glaring at myself like it was a Wild West showdown. My eyes flicked over to my closet that I hadn't bothered closing this morning.
I kind of had my clothes down to a personal uniform, but there was still an uncertainty of what incarnation to choose. I laid out grey skinny jeans with studs down the side hem. White leather doc martins were an easy choice. Consciously I was trying to stay away from black. Playing the role of Goth kid up to an eleven was fun to piss my dad off but tonight I'd be meeting my new boss. I chose a tank top with huge swoops cut out of the side. You could see most of my upper body but damn I knew enough to anticipate some heat. I slid the pants I was wearing off and the new ones all on as I set my cigarette on my dresser in the ash tray. I looked in the mirror, it was a bit better. I turned to the side and my nipple peeked, revealing a barbell. My pants were slung low on my hips and the shine from the diamonds nestled in the skin on my hips. I sighed and tugged on a black cardigan with white trim. I could always take it off if I got hot.
People always asked why I didn't have tattoos. I don't have a good answer, really. I know what I want my first one to be, I just haven't gotten it yet. The idea of a tattoo just seemed so permanent and big. I wasn't scared of the pain. Not in the slightest. In fact, I kind of liked the idea of hurting for the sake of looking better and it was a bit of a thrill. But I could ditch the studs and barbells super easy and never have to look at them again. I nodded to myself in the mirror. Kind of nerdy, but in that hipster way that was acceptable. Grabbing my keys and a protein shake I was off to the club.
It was tucked behind a car dealership and it looked kind of classic. Like those brick a building around old town squares that usually surrounded a town hall or fountain. It was a brick building with that rain bow wings logo above the door. I parked across the street in a large gravel expanse that had to be the parking lot. I noted a fire escape up the side of the building. That must be the lounge area with the pool tables and karaoke set up. Walking to the main door and knocking I was suddenly aware that it was only seven. I was thirty minutes early. I stood for a second, my bag with my laptop and external hard drive full of music clung a little too tight to me.
The door opened to reveal a woman with a high brown pony tail and glasses. She smiled widely at me and extended her hand. "You must be Jean! I loved your you tube stuff. We are so glad to have you trying us out tonight!" Her smile seemed genuine. My hand ran through my hair as I smiled and nodded. A voice boomed over the speakers.
"Zoe, Lets show him around and let him set up. I still have to take inventory before setting Levi and Mike up." I turned to see a tall, wide severe looking blonde man with a side part and major eyebrow game. He set the mic down and sauntered over, shaking my hand. "I'm Erwin, the owner. This is Zoe, she's the manager and jello shot girl." He said and Zoe leaned back in and smiled waving with wiggling fingers that made me smirk like a fool.
"I'm Jean, I can DJ and run effects and stuff pretty well." I extended his hand and Erwin shook it eagerly with a firm grip. My eyes looked around. There was a wide dance floor in the middle. To the left were low tables and a wall of mirrors. The right held a long bar, long enough for two to three bartenders. There was a loft over that. I kinda guessed that's where my booth would be. It overlooked the stage at the far end of the building well. I saw it was a low stage, maybe five inches above the dance floor. There was a single gleaming stripper pole that suck out like an a bomb. This was the real deal huh? This was totally happening.
I Jean Kirstein would see my first exotic dance tonight. And probably so much more.
The tour was quick and no none sense, much like Erwin himself. Zoe bobbed around quietly, lingering. We made our way up the stairs and to my loft. I almost came in my pants. A full sound board, smoke machine, light board and apple desktop made me have a techgasim. I was maybe eight feet in the air and overlooking the stage. I saw there was a TV on the wall of mirrors and over the bar. It struck me as slightly odd. Erwin gestured to the large leather rolling chair and I sat, savoring the feeling of sinking into it. I totally felt like Captain Kirk.
"We start the night with low key music. Then Levi comes on, since its DNR night we do the first round, take a break for drinks and maybe one or two dance tracks then throw back into it. After the second set of shows, it's just dancing. We have the play list picked out. Just until you get the vibe of the place." I nodded, thinking it made sense. I tried not to question what DNR meant or who Levi was. Looking up I gave a slack thumbs up and raised an eyebrow at the computer. "May I?" I asked and he shrugged. A loud splash was heard and I saw a mop bucket spill across the stage.
"ERWIN! This shit isn't clean! Do you want me to catch something from this nasty ass floor? Dear God I can imagine who's been on that pole since me!" A deep voice boomed from below. Erwin rolled his eyes and crumpled with a sigh. He looked at me with a kind, but tired smile and said "Zoe will show you the ropes." He patted Zoe on the back and headed down the stairs.
She showed me the log in codes, where tonight's play list was in iTunes and there was another program I had no clue about. "This play list with tonight's date is for the show. You will open DanceDance, the one right here-" She said and double clicked. A small screen appeared with a music video playing. I saw it came on the TV. "We like playing the dance stuff because the people who aren't feeling dancey can just enjoy watching." I noticed there was a small black bar that was empty off to the side.
"What's that?" I asked touching the screen. Zoe smiled a devilish grin and pulled out here phone. Suddenly text showed up and I looked to read it.
8362: HI! This is our anonymous text app. Great way for the ppl to flirt ;]
I laughed out loud. "That's awesome!" Zoe sat up on her hands and looked eager. "Thank you! I designed it. It's given us so much business. You see it uses the last four digits of your phone number as a username. You text the number and your message gets shown to the whole bar. I call it flirt-o-gram." I was impressed and it showed on my face. Zoe blushed with pure cheer and I knew instantly I liked her. She was bubbly and obviously super smart.
"So I follow this outline-" I said pointing to the paper. "Switching between DanceDance and iTunes…Simple enough." My voice sounded more confident than I was. I felt like Zoe and I were being pretty open. My bravery peeked and I let the words fumble out. "What does DNR stand for?" She tilted her head like she couldn't quite grasp what I was saying.
"Drag night review…you know like drag queens performing…?" Damn my face. Damn my face to sulfur filled pits of burning hell. My jaw went slack and my eyes grew wide. I was just as astonished as I looked, trust me. Zoe fucking looked like she'd seen a puppy. Her eyes shined and she brought her hands under her chin and kicked her feet like an ecstatic little girl.
"Aww you've never seen a drag show?!" She said and gasped. "I bet you've never seen a dancer!" Then she shot up, standing and next thing I knew she was in my face. "Are you a virgin too, Jean Kirstein?!" Once again… My. Face. Fucking. Sucks. I blushed massively and wheeled myself back, throwing my hands up and stammering in protest. The bitch hits her back, grabbing her gut laughing. She got up on her knees and put them on my legs, pulling me back to her as she smiled and chuckled. "It's okay sweetie. You're in for a treat tonight! Just try not to have a heart attack up here, okay? You'll do fine darling!" She said and stood up, waiving with those damn wiggly fingers as she walked away.
Now that I felt like a total loser, fish out of water and sexually inexperienced dweeb I kinda just ran through the software and pieced together my bruised up ego. I sighed and dug a snickers from my bag and munched angrily as I made sure that the programs were open and running smoothly. I acquainted myself with the spotlight, fog machine and lights. I actually got pretty caught up in it. I couldn't help but think of the Phantom of the Opera and feel like a badass. I would be the face behind the magic, you know?
Erwin's voice same over the speakers. "Alright doors are open. Lace up kids!" I peeked over and saw a handful of people. A red haired girl in a small white dress, a scruffy long haired blonde dude already nursing a beer. Erwin stood in the middle. Zoe was changed into a literal playboy bunny outfit. She had a silver platter of jello shots already lined up. There was short, rather cranky looking guy in a leather jacket. Dark hair and harsh hand gestures kinda made me think he was the source of the temper tantrum earlier. They all nodded and went separate ways. Erwin went to what I assume was the office. The red head and the scruffy guy slid behind the bar and cranky pants went back stage. I watched as people filed in and hit the enter key, starting a low hum of music. Zoe immediately began hugging people and chit chatting.
Honestly I don't know what I was expecting but these people seemed to like, know each other. The only clubs I went to seemed totally anonymous and just used for hook ups and drunken nights. The people here were friends. The songs were rhythmic but really they were low enough to allow conversation. People came in pairs or groups and talked, hugging and showing off outfits. It seemed like they had a ton of regulars. The music videos played on the TV, and suddenly messages appeared on the black scrolling bar.
5738: Glad to see you bitches again! Missed every single one of you skanks.
8823: Here with the love of my life 3 Ready to throw some dollar bills!
5320: Zoe, back table NOW I need some SHOOOOOTS!
I smiled as I looked down on the people. Feeling instantly comfortable here. It was like the lunch table without those pain in the ass seats. I was on the outside, yet in control. Observing and calling shots. It was intoxicating, without the music and money. I saw some customers light up and decided to take out my own pack, lighting my menthol and taking a drag as I slid my cardigan off.
Nicki Minaj was playing, that was my cue to switch to iTunes, and I looked at the set list and saw the way the next little while would play out.
Zoe- Welcome
Levi- One for the money
Levi- Outro
Peacock
Simple enough, remember Jean? When the synth filled song came to a stop Zoe, in her bunny eared glory took the stage with a mic. I aimed the light on her and she bowed. The whistled eagerly. "How are all of my beautiful people doing tonight?!" She said with her arms up dramatically. They erupted into claps and yells. She shook her head, looking displeased. Placing her hands on her hips like a scolding mother she said "Is this my lovely band of misfits and sexy ass trouble makers? I don't think so!" Laughs and hoots rang out. I was entranced. She was working a room of easily a hundred people just as easily as she waved me in. I'd be terrified out there. Zoe looked to the bar. "Mike, did you run off all of my friends again?" A low voice replied. "They should have tipped better!" I even had to laugh at that. So it was a running joke that mike was a jerk. "Let's try this again, because The Captain is back there all oiled up and so fucking scrumptious, how are you tonight?!"
The crowd roared. People hurried to move chairs to the outside of the dance floor and Jean saw a red scarf that caught his gaze. Mikasa! She stood next to Eren who was sitting in a chair right by the stage. With him were Reiner and Ymir.
Fuck, Fuck. Fuckity fucking fuck my life fuckers. I sauntered down a bit. So I was hiding. Sue me, I didn't want my friends to know I worked at a gay bar. I saw Zoe glance up at me as she spoke. "And now, you dirty little perverts, please prepare your dollars and hide your hard on's because the one and only Captain Levi is here, not because he gives two fucks about your pleasure but to make some damn MONEY!"
I hit the key on beat and the drums filled the air in a very rock and roll way. I recognized the tune immediately. Escape the fate's one for the money. They stood up, ready and out came the cranky short guy in nothing but leather straps. They wound around his legs against soft white pants. He was shirtless and damn was the guy ripped. His lean frame made his six pack stand out more. He swayed and rocked his hips as he ran his hands down his own body. Levi's face shot up dramatically. He ran along the edge of the stage throwing his hands up in the universal symbol for 'get louder mother fuckers." I saw everyone stand and he hopped off the stage and shoved a helpless girl back into her chair, pressing her forehead back with a finger. I blushed for the poor girl until she shamelessly slid a dollar down her shirt. He let his hand slide down her neck in such a sexual way I felt chills on my arms from empathy or hormones, I'm not sure which. He graced the top of her breasts and snatched the bill. It was a fifty, not a dollar. He slid leather suspenders down with a knowing stare.
Levi turned and twisted and the song counted its one, one for the money he held a lone finger up. Two, because two is for the show. Two fingers now and he lowered them and pointed them at Eren. Holy shit! Eren was blushing and looked like he was in a trance. It's three, are you ready mother fuckers? Are you ready? I admit, I was relishing the look on Eren's face as Levi grabbed him roughly by the back of his head, fist full of hair and dragged him to the chair the girl had been in. Let's go! Levi slammed Eren's ass in the chair and got over him as the guitar solo shredded and grinded him so shamelessly it was making my mouth dry. I could literally see Eren's pants tented up. I looked to see Mikasa, Reiner and Ymir cheering and taking pictures. Dollars where literally raining over them. Levi leaned back and put his boot clad foot on the chair between Eren's legs and gave him a gaze that was half glare, half fuck me now. Did he wink? No way! Eren was beet red and his hair was disheveled. Levi kicked and slid Eren back, turning around and walking off like he gave zero fucks.
Straps hung loose and began being shed one after another as Levi spun on the pole, his muscles flexing with effort. At one point he was perfectly horizontal, his legs fake walking in the air as his arms held all of his weight and he spun. The dude was seriously athletic. The song wound down just in time as he was in a small pair of snug underwear. The bastard didn't even bow, he just shrugged. I guess that's part of his charm in a kind of BDSM way. The whole cold hearted aloof thing was obviously working for him. Zoe handed him the mic and a voice deeper than I expected came over.
"Thanks for the fun, boys and girls." He said and the crowd roared. I know why. He was good! I mean, I had nothing to compare it to but hell I can't imagine someone getting that reaction any quicker. "Do you guys want to see something a bit cuter?" He said and looked to Zoe who had produced her own mic. "Oh I think they do. We can only handle so much of you, Levi you sexy jackass." She said giving a knowing gaze and Levi shrugged. "I'm gonna go shower all of your sweat off of me. Have fun picturing it you sick fucks." He said and walked off. Just like that, he left them all panting and wanting more.
Zoe stepped into the light, fanning herself. "How about that, boys and girls?!" She asked and everyone yelled again. "Why don't we bring out our sexy, adorable little five foot even blonde bundle of kawaii?!" Eren, Mikasa, Reiner and Ymir stood and screamed like they were going to die. The overall reaction was less than for Levi, but it was obvious there were some diehard fans here for whoever this was. Reiner was fist pumping, all of the sudden Jean saw Christa on his shoulders lifted up to get a better look. He hadn't seen her before.
A new text appeared on flirt-o-gram.
3464: Levi sweated on me. I can die happy now. 3
I caught Eren on his phone red handed. It was too much really, I never pegged Eren as gay. But damn was he hot all over for Levi. Zoe picked back up when the yells died down. "Well, ladies and gentleman here is your first little lady of the night. All hail the Queen! Miss Arianna Grace!" Chants of "Ari, Ari. Ari" Filled the air frat style from Reiner, soon joined by Ymir and Eren.
The song kicked in like a cheerleader. A stomp and clap happy beat with Katy Perry's voice in a girlish tone singing "I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock…" I dimmed the lights and left the spotlight where it was and out stepped a figure I immediately recognized.
Armin fucking Arlert.