Behind the scenes: Negi Springfield
Disclaimer: I do not own Negima and so on and so forth…
When we meet the famous ten-year old child-teacher at Mahora Academy, his class about to end, respectfully his students bow and leave the classroom and get to their dorms as their day is finished.
We had made a special appointment to make an exclusive interview for the sake of you loyal readers, though we were forced into promising that this would never get inside Mahora for reasons he didn't say.
We get in to see the boy sighing and lighting a cigarette, putting it in his mouth, he then turns a sour-looking face towards us "You are those reporters, huh?" he says darkly, a chilling aura surrounding him.
With doubt we nod.
He sighs again and smoke comes out of his nostrils, still looking annoyed he says: "Well, have seats then" he says and points to the chairs in front of the desk he's sitting on.
Still in shock with what we've been seeing so far, we nervously sat down.
There was a silence for quite some time with an annoyed Negi, far from the look of the Negi we all know and love, staring holes into us.
We figured we needed to ask something soon "S-so" I stuttered "Are you feeling different today, Negi-san?" I asked respectfully.
He snorted while drumming a bit on the table "No" he said darkly, almost demonically "Why do you ask?" he said.
His voice made us even more shocked, hoping we would not be having any more of these, disturbing surprises, I answered his question "Nothing, it's just that you don't behave like you do usually"
He simply looked at us for a while, then he took away his cigarette "you mean like this?" he said with the voice we were familiar with, he smiled his cute smile and somehow a pink aura showed itself, we smiled and nodded.
Then he got back to normal, now black rings around his eyes showed themselves, he took back his cigarette into his mouth and irritated he said: "Look, do you see any female around here worth a shit?"
We shook our heads,
"That's what I thought" he said darkly, inhaling deeply the smoke "Look, if it doesn't give me something in return, it isn't worth doing" he said, looking at the clock "Can we hurry this up, it's soon time for my bath" he said, a malicious smile appeared on his lips.
Your daring crew was once again shocked by his words, but I, your lovable reporter, continued by asking: "But you don't like baths?"
A new smile, wider, more evil, we could have sworn we saw horns on his forehead "So you mean I would pass up being fondled, cuddled and grabbed by around 30 beautiful girls 5 years older, and seeing them naked? Are you stupid?!" he said, the last he screamed in rage.
He took a few deep breaths and calmed down, now taking a seat behind his desk and putting his feet on the desk "so, do you have any more questions? Or can I go being with the girls, they are kind of light-clothed by this time" he says darkly.
"Actually, we would like to ask what you think about your students" Your ever so brave reporter asks nervously.
A chuckle comes from the child teacher, soon becoming the laugh of a mad man (Think Yagami Lights laughter from Death Note) "Really now, that's interesting…"giggles darkly, then he becomes calm and looks sternly at us "Who should I start with?" he says.
"Umm… How about 3-A in general; do you like how they treat you and so?"
Negi takes his feet down and let's out a sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose "The class in general are okay, they study well, they look, good and…" he stopped "they like to bathe" he said chuckling.
"O...K, well, what do you think of your roommate Asuna?"
"What I think about her? Well, she's got a great valley of the gods, she's good in the bed, and… she gives me an excuse for bathing. Anything else you want to know?" he said, still sourly, but now smiling from some memories.
"You said that she's good in the bed, what do you mean with that?" I ask.
He looked as if I said the most stupid thing in the world "EEEH! Idiot! I mean what I say, stupid!" every time he does that, he looks worse to them, the imaginative horns get bigger, his skin paler and grey and the fact that he's smoking doesn't help!
"Sorry" I apologise nervously as he throws his finished cigarette on me and lights another "So, go on!" he demands, the sound of stomping is heard.
"Ah, yes! So what about your other room-mate, Konoka, how is your relationship with her and what do you think about her?" I asked.
He turned and looked at the window for quite some time, a look of utter happiness, a trickle of blood ran down his nose and he giggled in an unpleasant way "Konoka, eh… well, she's very cute with that voice of hers, one I would want to hear scream in pain, and she's been hanging out lately with Setsuna…" then he stopped, looked down in thought, then up again smiling "that reminds me, I need to get up some, Security cameras, in everyone's rooms, for safety reasons of course, one can never know if a demon should attack…" he chuckled darkly, somehow the horns got even bigger now, and a chilling aura covered the whole room.
Seeing how the current Negi was acting and talking about the girls, we strongly doubted it had anything to do with security, but we had to continue, for your sake, for the truth, though we'd rather run away in fear.
"So, umm, how about your relationship with Nodoka, it must have been hard rejecting her" I, your daring and yet so very handsome (and still alive, hopefully!), asked, it left him in a state of silence and melancholy.
Then he turned up smiling eerily, his glasses shining brightly, making it impossible for us to see his eyes "true, it was hard rejecting her" we all sighed in relief over seeing the Negi we knew was back, then he giggled "I mean her ass were so fine!" he let out, making gestures we don't want to describe, for your mental health's sake. "But her ass was the only real thing about her, except for her voice and I get to hear her squeal everyday anyway, and besides, there are others in the class that has better bodies than her, plus I don't like to go steady with just one when I can have 30 beautiful girls till they're 18!" he let out triumphantly.
"Yeah! Haha!" I tried to agree, looking on my watch and on the others, they all nodded, "well, that's about everything we have to ask, thank you for the time, I'm sure the fans will appreciate it!" I said and we got up, hurrying away. But we hardly came to the door before "wait…" a dark voice said, the air got even colder, the floor was covered in smoke (where the hell did this come from?), "where are you going to lay up that interview?" his voice was darker than before, almost demonic, his eyes turned red "because you know, if you put it up on the net, they will find this, TV's a no-no unless it's done on some pay-per-view channel far away and you can forget about putting it in print in papers!" he said angrily. I gulped "then what do you think we should do?" I asked.
The eyes shone only brighter, the earth shook violently "THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!" he screamed. Then it stopped and before us stood a happy ten-year-old teacher, smiling cutely, stretching out his hand as if to shake mine "Isn't that so?" he said and took my hand and shook it, then left, the sound of girls screaming "Negi-sensei!" was heard in the background, we just stood there, stunned, thinking of what to do.
This was the best solution we could find, we sincerely hope he doesn't find this.