I own nothing but my own ideas the rest belong to J,K,R. A thanks goes to sarah-rose76646who beta read this for me. Thanks.
Hero Dudley
Harry was annoyed. His godfather was locked up at grimmauld place and he was locked
in his bedroom. His cousin and he had just escaped from a pair of Dementors
and both felt like crap. Harry had a single chunk of chocolate, while Dudley
had the rest of the bar.
"Harry, how can we protect my poor duddykins from those evil things?"
Harry looked at his aunt's Duddykins; Dudley had once been mistaken for a
stranded baby whale while on holiday.
Harry decided to be sarcastic "well as you can't see them, I guess you can't.
Only I can, but as you hate me and my freakishness… guess you are up the Khyber."
Then came a moment in history, something that changed the world for ever,
Dudley had a good idea.
"Harry, you can see them right?" He continued as Harry nodded, well in one
of my magazines about planes it says you can paint a target."
Harry looked confused "paint a target? What's that mean?"
Dudley thought for a second well several seconds really "You know them
Laser pointer thingy's that teachers use?"
"Hmm no our teachers don't use them."
"Ok well they like a torch but instead of a large beam... hold on I have
one upstairs."
Harry, and petunia, watched as Dudley, stomped up the stairs and came down
several minutes later with something that looked like a bullet.
"See this is a laser pointer I push this little button and this red beam
comes out... you want see something cool?"
Harry nodded partly in shock and partly because… hell he was in shock, what
more reason did he need?
Dudley went into the kitchen and closed all the curtains and shut the door,
he then got a small amount of flour and tossed it into the air.
Petunia gasped but held her tongue it would not do to berate Dudley after
such a scare.
Dudley turned on the laser pointer and Harry watched as an almost solid beam
of light went through it. He could see a vivid red line of light going through
the flour dust.
"You have to be careful with these. it says in my magazine that people in
America have been arrested for trying to blind pilots for dazzling them while
in flight with one of these."
Harry nodded, he was shocked… no shocked was too small a word. He needed an Earth
shattering one, Dudley had a brain...and could use it?????? What
was the world coming to?
"Well a person on the ground points something like this onto a building and
then a plane targets it with its missiles and boom no more building. Well
could you light up one them dementy things so some one else could shoot it. All
they would need is to see the light or were the light stops."
Harry had to sit down a torch and boom, he started to giggle then he laughed.
"Dudley reminds me to get you the best magical sweets I can you are without a
doubt a bloody genius."
They looked at him shocked.
Dudley thought "well if you want an English one then I would say the Storm
Shadow launched from an Tornado GR4.... that combination would work on just
about anything and it is long range."
Harry's jaw officially dropped. "A what? And what?"
Petunia was almost in as much shock.
"Duddykins, how do you know so much about planes and bombs?" She just had
to know, a small part of her mind remembered that Harry always scored better on test than Dudley, until that was beaten out of him.
"Well mum" Dudley started, "it's a missile not a bomb. Bombs just fall
down; a missile is a mini jet with an explosive payload. Bombs are not directed
as such while missiles like homing one have a small level of intelligence. As
to your question, we all know that I am fat not big boned, and lazy. I worked out
long ago that I needed to concentrate on being able to get a job like dad's, that
would mean a lot of sitting down."
Harry's eyes went into bug mode "what- the -hell" he shook his head and
even pinched himself. As a precaution, he snuck his wand out. An intelligent
Dudley, no way. It must be an imposter.
"I found I quite like planes but didn't understand them, so when I started to
look into them somehow I got hooked." He smiled. "Then it hit me. I could
design planes and missiles and stuff, so that's what I have been working up
to."
Harry and Petunia took a kitchen chair and sat down. This was a lot to take
in.
"So Dudley, that combination why?"
Dudley smiled and almost seemed to go into a teacher mode. Something else that
shocked Harry and Petunia.
"You said you wanted to destroy a house with a cellar yes?"
Harry nodded "yes I know where Voldemort is and many of his Death eaters
will be, he could also be the one that sent those Dementors after us."
Dudley smiled "so you want to kill the man who murdered your mum and dad
and in a round about way forced you onto my family?"
To say that Harry was shocked was an understatement. He never knew Dudley could do more
than grunt, groan or put four, maybe two words together at once. This was huge even
bigger than Dudley and Vernon's stomach combined. This was something to record
for the history book or at least family gatherings. "Yes" he finally
managed to choke out. A person can only take so many shocks a day after all.
"Good. O.k. I used that combo because the Storm Shadow can be fired from 150
miles away. It has a fire and forget capability, meaning that once it is fired, you
can no longer control it from the plane. However if it has trouble locating a
target it will self-destruct in a place pre-programmed as safe. The BROACH
warhead features an initial penetrating charge to clear soil or enter a
bunker, then a variable delay fuse to control detonation of the main warhead.
The missile weighs about 1,300 kilograms (2,866 lb) has a maximum body
diameter of 1 meter (3.3 ft) and a wingspan of 3 meters (9.8 ft). Intended
targets are command, control and communications; airfields; ports and power
stations; AMS/ammunition storage; ships at sea; ships/submarines in port;
bridges and other high-value strategic targets. So you see, a house with a
cellar would be no problem. The initial penetrating charge should take out
most of the house. With its level of penetration a cellar will be no problem.
The plane is just the one our air force uses to deliver that type of
missile."
Harry wished he had a strong drink or even a weak drink.
Dudley was not finished though, "The missile follows a path semi-autonomously, on a
low flight path guided by GPS and terrain matching to the area of the target.
Close to the target, the missile bunts, climbing to an altitude intended to achieve the best probability of target identification
and penetration. During the bunt, the nose cone is jettisoned to allow a high-resolution infrared camera to observe the target area (the bunt enlarges the
field of vision). The missile then tries to locate its target. So you need to
have the area lit for the initial part so a pilot can program the missile."
Dudley smiled "then BOOOM bye bye Dementy things and Moldywart."
Harry was stunned " Dudley I think I might just have to buy a sweet shop for
you, that was amazing you may have struck back at an enemy of the family and
solved a problem of an upcoming war before it becomes a war."
It had taken a while and some research but had culminated in Harry and Sirius
impersonating air force officers.
PRESENT TIME
As they left the base, Sirius no longer able to contain himself got the phone
numbers of several females. Then he looked at Harry and shrugged his shoulders,
"can't teach old dog new tricks? Ha well I will show them." he smiled
and made exaggerated movements with his eyebrows.
Harry and Sirius crept as close as the needed to set up the stuff so the GPS
signally thingy type stuff that Dudley seemed to understand but to Harry and
Sirius it was plain Goblin. "All set Harry?" came over the short-range
radios he and Sirius had. Harry grinned, "Yep tango leader alpha boss man."
Sirius moaned, "Harry I am the immature one so please stop stealing my lines before I
use them." He sighed, when was Harry going to learn?
Harry grinned- {bet that annoyed him}
2 days later
Lord Voldemort, the most feared man alive, was fuming. someone had been taking
shots at his loyal Death eaters. nothing fatal but still, how dare the headless
chickens attack first? Malfoy, Nott, and Goyle, even Snape and Draco had been
attacked. He had decided, enough was enough and called an emergency meeting.
Harry and Sirius laughed to themselves "Tango foxtrot the target is hot
repeat the target is hot."
Several miles away four Tornado GR4 took off with four missiles each their target
an inland terrorist poison gas manufacturing plant. All the GPS had been
sorted and the target had been painted.
Harry smiled to Sirius then turned and walked to the pay phone. He dialed a
number and it was answered in fewer than four rings. "Dudley they on the way."
Several miles away \Dudley and his family watched and waited. As it had been
partly because of Dudley the whole thing had started, they felt it was only
right he got to watch.
"I want to know who has been attacking my loyal followers? Crucio."
Wormtail curled up into a ball, some days he wished he had left his master as a
ghost.
Everyone turned as a loud "Sqeeeeeek" sounded, many jumped and looked
around to see that who had his or her hands near a chalkboard or bit of slate. Then all
sound seemed to stop followed by a massive explosion then another.
"Name?"
Lord Voldemort looked around.
"Name! Listen you in-bred morons NAME!"
Many jumped, Voldemort stepped forward "Do you know who I am?"
" Geez, Pureblood's from earth so bloody dumb...if I knew who you were would
I be asking your NAME???"
One of his servants stepped forward "He is He- Who-Must -Not -be -Named."
Then he jumped back as he suddenly got a look at what he was talking to. Yes
it was a case of what and not who.
The figure stood up, "Now listen here you in-bred morons, I want your names
and if I don't get them then you will wish you had never been anything."
One the Death eaters came forward "I am Lucius Malfoy how dare you speak to
me in that ton..." He quickly stepped back, the master's eyes might glow red but this
persons glowed red around the edges. in the centre, he saw flames and the flames
seemed to be getting bigger and bigger.
The other Deatheaters looked on in shock as flames shot out the beings eyes
and melted Lucius.
"Right..... So one Lucius Malfoy ...o.k next." what followed was a
scramble to not be next. Lord Voldemort was not happy when the being said "real
name not your poncy fake name" when he told {it} that he was lord
Voldemort. "o.k, o.k its Tom Riddle." Most never heard what he said as he
said it in a very quiet voice. The ones that did were not impressed. Dark Lord
Tom had no ring to it.
"Right Tom Riddle, we got a few here ready to torture you including one Salazar
Slytherin. seems you screwed up his family's reputation and he has a special
dispensation to come down from heaven and torture you, 3 days off the week"
The name taker smiled at the looks of confusion on many faces. "Duh"
"What??? But I was doing his great work." Tom moaned, "why does he want to torture
me?"
"Because... you are a git, you made the school's sacred protector kill a
student. then you had it try killing another student, that student was saved and one Harry
Potter ended up killing …. Cassandra?? Weird name o.k ended up killing
Cassandra the Basilisk to save his own and another life."
Tom looked confused "I never met Harry Potter with a Basilisk?"
One of the smaller Death eaters cleared his throat "my dad gave your old
school diary to Ginny Weasley and she and Harry h..." he stopped. Tom was not
happy.
The name taker was "Yes Tom, one of your Horcrux was destroyed."
The older, more intelligent Deatheaters knew this was not good.
"Now for a bit of common sense, that was your first Horcrux so it had exactly
one half of your soul in it. That was the only reason you survived the
rebounded killing curse. Now after that you made several more. Each one halved
whatever you had left of your soul. You see, when a soul is halved by black
magic it never ever recovers so you do not grow more soul. Now your second
Horcrux had half of half of your soul in it and so on. When the house you were in
blew up, the two Horcruxes that were in there, the ring and nagmi? Nagini? Your
snake also blew up leaving nothing-powerful enough left, to be able to bring
you back. So you are here for the long haul."
Tom looked round and the remembered Malfoy Snr. had been burned up. Therefore, he
stalked over to junior and kicked him hard between the legs several times
until he felt better.
The name taker smiled this would be so much fun. Shame many did not find out
until they died that God and the Devil were friends and they had swoops of
souls so people who were 50/50 like Salazar could go to either. He could relax
in Heaven or come here to hell and torture Tom. This worked out in a simple
way, by punishing Tom for his wrong deeds, this was a good act. By using torture, this
was a bad act, so 50/50. Tom would learn this lesson well so would the other
pillocks, now for more fun. "Say Tom your Muggle dad wants kick your ** as
well so he has been invited down. We really do not agree with patricide."
All the Death eaters turned to Tom "Muggle? You had a Muggle father you are a
half-blood?"
Yes, it was fun to be him. The name taker smiled and dropped his hood "I
forgot to introduce myself... I am James Potter the first gate keeper for
you.... my wife is your second one."
Severus Snape blanched {the Potters ran hell....OH **!!!!!}
Yes, before them stood James Potter and he looked **. "Now because of you lot
my son has been through hell guess what....its a parent job to make their
child's life hell and embarrass them not you numb nuts so we had a word with a
few people and we get to decide what punishments you lot have to suffer. Draco
your dad is not destroyed. he is with my wife getting sterilized."
Lucius was being sterilized but not with hot water and soap, no he was being
castrated for the 10th time. "See Lucius, I got this idea from a Muggle myth
about a Greek man who was cursed to forever be chained to a rock and a huge bird came
down each day and ate his innards while he remained alive. Then they all grew
back and the same happens the next day... there are many here who want to do this to
you so I got to make sure it works right, now done, axe, knife, saw, ok hammer
next...." {Crunch, crunch} anyone listening would have heard a very loud
scream… hell; even ones who were not trying to listen heard it.
Little
Hangleton
Harry and Sirius spent a few minutes cleaning out their ears. "Dudley did
say BOOOM yes?"
Harry nodded "Yes he said BOOOM.....why?"
Sirius shook his head "I heard KABOOOOMMMM, never heard one BOOM. You should
call him and tell him his descriptions suck."
Dudley was staring in shock "Kaboooommm, KABOOOM, that was so cool. I got
to study harder. I need to make ones even louder."
Petunia and Vernon looked at their son and shook their heads, this did not
sound good. Then another sound hit them "Bring-bring, bring-bring" Dudley put
down his omnocy thingy and went to answer the phone. "Harry?"
"Dudley did you or did you not say Boom? As me and my Godfather never heard
one boom but did hear quite a few KABOOOMS." Dudley moved his ear away from
the phone and tried cleaning it with a finger. "No need to shout, and tell
Sirius I recorded it all on them ominocy thingy, with sound on and with full
zoom." Harry shook his head; Dudley had gone into detail on what was
needed and how to use it, yet, could not remember Dementors, Voldemort or even
omnoculars. "Thanks Dudley and Sirius say that we are getting you your own pair and
a huge sweet hamper, with some other stuff. All safe for you to eat and drink.
You have probably saved loads of lives and me a crap load of hassle. Thanks
big D." Harry had no fears of using Dudley's nickname as a sign of respect
today. now all he need was a recording and him and Sirius were off to Morocco.
Hell the second gate.
"But... the prophecy? I can't be dead? No way has Potter that much power, no
way. AARRRRRR..."
"Riddle shut up and stop bad mouthing my son. The prophecy stated he had a
power that you did not know. So do you know how he killed you all?"
Riddle and the others shook there heads "O.k so therefore he had a power you
know not. See, the prophecy is happy, I am happy, James is happy… well to be honest,
James is happy torturing Wormtail and Snape, but he is still happy. So why all
the complaints... it is the nut screw, isn't it? You don't like it when we turn
them like this." and matching actions to words several of the Death eaters
previous victims turned hells version of thumbscrews a bit tighter. "You
have no need to worry. if we crush them, then in 20 minutes they will grow
back....mind you, that does mean that the next load of victims get their go, but who
cares as long as it is for the greater good? and more people being happy than
unhappy most certainly counts as the greater good... now where was I?"
Tom's screams told everyone that she had remembered.
3 months later
"Wicked, hey Duds, you want try this?" Harry shouted to his cousin. Dudley
looked up and shook his head "nah, thanks, still got some of this coconut thing
left."
The change in Dudley had been fast and amazing. he still ate like a hungry
hippo, but now he read and studied and he was on holiday! The wizarding
community had given him and Harry a large reward. Sirius had been cleared of
all charges. Life was good, so were the babes in Morocco, according to Sirius.
Only Dumbledore seemed put out but he was now a second rate wizard after the
ministry had seen Harry and Sirius standing near a huge crater and Harry
shouting who's the ** now, over and over, They had asked him what had happened.
Harry lied through his teeth and said that Voldemort and all of his Death eaters were dead
and this was their hide out. When he said that suddenly while battling Tom, a.k.a
Voldemort, he seemed to gain a huge power boost, Dumbledore had, in shock stated
that Harry had completed the Prophecy, when the whole prophecy thing was
revealed, Harry smiled and said, "Justice served."
After Dumbledore's little mistake and some rounds of truth serum on Sirius, who
was cleared very fast- Harry did wonder whether it had anything to do with everyone watching him toss his wand in the air and catch it, or the very big hole
they were standing next to, that they all thought he had just made. Either way
was good as long Sirius and he did not miss their plane.
After a few wand tricks, like catch the wand and point it at people
taking too long, chatting to his Godfather, everyone seemed to agree that Sirius was
innocent and the sooner Harry left England for a holiday the safer they all
would feel. Hell, they even gave them lots of spending money. They had brought the
Dursleys as well... after all it was Dudley who helped the most. Now that Harry was
going to live else where, they had no problems taking his money and a free
holiday. Strange that, Harry mused. Ah well, whatever works…
The end
Hope you liked thanks for reading.