I'm packing for college. I'm not sure what to take with me. I'm contemplating smuggling Fat Louie into school with me. I doubt they'll notice. Give or take the occasional missing sock. Grandmere and her assistants insisted on making up a whole new wardrobe for college, so the past few weeks have been filled with chanel visits and stupid poodles and fussing over my hair. Grandmere wants extensions so I will seem "sophisticated" and not a "poulet" like those other girls. She says that if I ever wear leggings as pants like those other girls, she will personally have me assassinated. I reassured her that I would not, but she did not believe me, and confiscated all of my leggings as a precaution. Like I would wear them. I would look like a giraffe. Or a flamingo.
Grandmere wants me to take the limo with me. To college. she's out of her mind. nobody smuggles limos to college. She said that anyone who's anyone brings their limo. I half hope she comes to visit me so I can bring her to my dining hall and make her fat. Though the idea of Grandmere fat scares me... Fat Louie would think she was one of his kind and try to make her his queen... Hahahaha.. his queen, get it?
Grandmere is worried about me partying in college. I reassured her that I wouldn't. Nonsense, she said, of course you will. All princesses party. Good press. Just don't party too much. If you end up in rehab like Drew Barrymore, I will force you to join the military. I told her I loved Drew Barrymore. She said nonsense, only Drew Barrymore loves Drew Barrymore. Not even Justin Long loves her, and he's a nerd.
Trevor wants me to pack him. He keeps rolling into my suitcase and falling asleep in it. This is the fourth time. I almost kept him this time.
Everyone is dealing with me leaving in kind of a funny way. Grandmere keeps coming into the room like she has something to say but then suddenly leaving like she's forgotten. Or perhaps she's just gotten early onset Alzheimers from all of those sidecars. I agree with the latter. Mom keeps making me pancakes, and Mr. G keeps asking if I want to watch the game with him. Trevor has decided that he is going to come with me. He's put all of his toys in my suitcase, and put himself in my suitcase as well. I hope when I'm gone he doesn't try to ship himself to me in a box. Well, I kind of hope not. Part of me wants him to because that would be really funny. Fat Louie is perhaps cleverer than I thought. He has decided that since I am packing my clothes, and evidently NEED them, not having them will thus prevent me from leaving, and so he has devised a clever plan to make sure I do not have any clothes. He has decided to eat all of my clothes. I never knew Fat Louie had such ambition. It appears he does. He has moved on up from socks to bigger and better things. Right now, he is attempting to eat my overalls.