Les Neverlandes

by The Scarlet Starlet

Once again, another parody revolving around the somewhat fictional, yet interactive, lives of some of my old theatre peers and friends, based on the [synopsis from the] successful playwright “Les Miserables”

"Les Neverlandes"

By Laura

**Cast List**

Jean Val Jean- Dan "Roach-gaine"

Fantine- Catherine "Lucyson"

Cosette- Laura Marie "DeVinci"

Marius- James "Whiteboard"

Mme. Thenardier- Laura Elizabeth (yours truly)

Msr. Thenardier- Micah "Gardenhose"

Javert- Cara "Duggie"

Eponine- Jackie "Kast"

General Lamarque- Ben "Perkiness"

Enjolras- Merry "Go Round"

Bishop of Digne- Andy (the director)

Gavroche- Alex "Cully"

After spending nineteen years as backstage stage crewmember #69 at the local theatre, Dan Roach-gaine is refused roles in the shows because he talked too much. Just when he is about to give up, Andy, the director of the "AlwaysLand" theatre company, offers him an audition. Later that night Dan finds himself unable to resist stealing Andy's script. He is then confronted by Penny (the musical director) the next morning. But Andy pretends that he gave Dan the script as a gift, making him promise to work hard and become an honest actor. The director's lesson deeply affects Dan, who eventually redeems his dark past through leading roles, participation, and play promotion. Posing as "Mr. Cockroach," Dan becomes the co-director of AlwaysLand, bringing prosperity to the entire region and acquiring a widespread reputation for his charity and devotion to the play.

Desperate for money to pay for tuition money to the local theatre for her daughter, Laura Marie, Catherine sells her script, her costume, and then joins the NSMT to sell her voice. Utterly degraded by her new trade, she gets into a fight with a another actress and is about to be kicked out of the play when "The co-director" arrives and demands she be put into the school play, instead.

The "co-director" (Dan) then rescues a stage-crew member pinned down by a fallen block of scenery. Cara is reminded of the abnormal strength of backstage crewmember #69, whom she has been tracking for years but who, she says, has just been recaptured. Dan, unable to see an innocent man get kicked out of the play on his account, confesses that he is backstage crewmember #69.

While at school, Dan promises the uncoordinated Catherine to find and look after her daughter Laura Marie. Cara arrives to capture him, but Dan escapes.

Laura Marie has been forcefully attending "Ham-and-Cheese" school district establishments for 10 years with the Gardenhose's who run the snack bar at NSMT, horribly abusing poor Laura Marie whom they use as a snack seller while indulging in their own daughter, Jackie. Dan finally manages to stumble upon Laura Marie while she was selling a bag of Fritos. He pays the Gardenhose's to let him take Laura Marie away and takes her back to his home. But Cara is still on their trail…

Nine years later there is a great unrest in the city because of the likely demise of the popular Ben "Perkiness", the only man left in the AlwaysLand theatre crew who shows any feeling for the ensemble. The urchin Alex "Cully" is in his element, mixing with the leads of the cast. Amongst the theatre cliques, there is one led by Micah and his wife Laura Elizabeth who set upon Dan and Laura Marie. Cara who does not recognize Dan until he has made good his escape then rescues them. The Gardenhose's daughter, Jackie, who is secretly in love with James, reluctantly agrees to help James find Laura Marie, with whom he has fallen in love.

At a dance rehearsal in the back of the church, a group of idealistic leads prepare for the revolution they are sure will erupt on the death of Ben. When Alex brings the news of the Ben's death, the ensemble members, led by Merry "Go-Round", stream out into the streets to whip up popular support. Only James is distracted by thoughts of the mysterious Laura Marie.

Laura Marie is also consumed by thoughts of James with whom she has fallen in love with as well. Dan realizes that his "daughter" is changing very quickly but refuses to tell her anything of her past. In spite of her own feelings for James, Jackie sadly brings James to Laura Marie and then prevents an attempt by her father's clique to steal Dan's hair gel. Dan, convinced it was Cara who was lurking outside his house, tells Laura Marie that they must prepare to flee the town. On the eve of the revolution the ensemble and Cara see the situation from their different viewpoints. Laura Marie and James part in despair of ever meeting again. Jackie mourns the loss of James and Dan looks forward to the security of exile. The Gardenhose's meanwhile dream of rich picking underground from the chaos to come.

The dressing room is built and the ensemble members defy the theatre administrators, who warn them that they must give up or get kicked out of the show. Alex exposes Cara as a policy spy. In trying to return to the dressing room, Jackie breaks her leg, and therefore is forced to drop out of the show. Dan arrives at the dressing room in search of James. He is given the chance to injure Cara but instead lets her go.

The students settle down for a night in the dressing room and in the quiet of the night Dan prays to God to save James from losing his part in the show. The next day with pencils, scripts, and other vital theatre materials running low, Alex runs out to collect more supplies and is forced to drop out of the show as well. The ensemble members are all eventually kicked out, including their leader Merry.

Dan escapes into the men's bathroom with the unconscious James. After meeting Micah who is robbing the remains of the ensemble members' folders, he emerges into the light only to meet Cara once more. He pleads for time to deliver James to a hospital. Cara decides to let him go, and her unbending principles of justice having been shattered by Dan's own mercy, she drops out of the show herself. Unaware of the identity of his rescuer, James recovers in Laura Marie's gentle care. Dan confesses the truth of his past to James and insists that after the young couple is married, he must go away rather than taint the safety of their newly formed cast. At James' and Laura Marie's wedding the Gardenhose's try to blackmail James. Micah says Laura Marie's father is a murderer and as proof produces a prop that he stole from the ensemble members' folders the night the dressing room fell. It is James' own prop and he realizes it was Dan who rescued him that night. He and Laura Marie go to Dan where Laura Marie learns for the first time of her own history before he drops out, joining the spirits of Catie, Jackie, and all those who failed to remain cast in the promising AlwaysLand show.