The first thought that popped into his head was awkward.
The next: why couldn't they do it somewhere else? Like a bed. Beds never mind. Everyone knows beds are rather… well, you know what I mean.
There he was, minding his own business and taking up lots of space when… in came two humans. Which normally would not concern him, since the building was occupied by many humans who were prone to walking around everywhere and interrupting his sleep and sometimes even sitting on him, except that the faces of these two particular humans were connected. As he watched them pull their faces apart for a second so that the human with the fluffy blond hair could take the other one's shirt off, he wished for the thousandth time that he had eyelids so that he did not have to witness what he knew was coming.
"Oh dear god," he thought, staring at the ceiling to avoid looking at the humans, which was very difficult as they were now poking his stuffing while they proceeded to remove items of clothing that he really preferred they keep on.
"Why can't humans just sit on me normally like they're supposed to? I-I'm nowhere near as comfortable as a bed!" he tried to think loudly, over the noises the two humans were now making.
"Someone should teach these humans about beds. And take that other human with them. The one who doesn't seem to like his house and always pretends I'm a bed. Oh wait…" he thought, mentally smacking himself on the head for realising too late the innuendo behind his thoughts.
A long time later he finally dared to look away from the extremely interesting spot on the ceiling. The humans were quiet now, probably asleep, and thankfully wrapped on a blanket which they seemed to have conjured out of nowhere.
He huffed grumpily as he resolved first thing next morning to ask the nice new computer up on Ops to run down the phone numbers of the humans so he could have a word with their beds about being more inviting.
-o-o-o-o-
Author's note: So apparently I like writing from the point of view of inanimate objects. It's meant to be Deeks and Kensi doing the … ahem… unsavoury things on the couch, by the way. And yes, I know the ending is lame. My plot bunny ran away partway through, so I had to make do with a plot jellyfish who wasn't very helpful.
Anyway, the couch would also like to tell you that reviews are cool. And lots and lots of reviews are even cooler.