Riggs hated life. This was an undeniable fact, one he hadn't really tried to deny. It was sort of of obvious. You know between the explosions, the guns, the jumping into open air without a 100 % certainty he'd live? Yeah those. He wasn't ashamed of his suicide tendencies , they just were. Now he couldn't pick up a gun and give himself a new hole cause when he saw Miranda she'd be pissed.
Like your aunt when you put black pepper and Laxative into her coffee kind of pissed.
It used to be really hard to ignore his trigger finger itching, the constant need the urge to be passed out from drinking 20 too many.
Then he met his partner. Detective Murtagh. By the book, halfway to a heart attack Detective Murtagh. He met the annoying walking talking rule book, and then he met his family.
Then he met Roger Murtagh. The family man, the man behind the badge and the healthy foods, and the nagging. Though the nagging was pretty regular. Riggs just knew why now. Meeting the wife, the kids, the baby, holding the baby..made it unbelievable hard to not let them in. To not want to connect.
It was the reason he actually talked to the shrink lady who looked way too much like Miranda. He hadn't regretted it since. Riggs tried to limit how much he gave to the Murtagh's, really he did. But the thing with Rianne just poked all sorts of protective buttons, and he'd threatened the boy. (read my fic, it's not on the t.v show)
"This was the all the proof he'd needed to know that he was too far gone and that as much as he loved Miranda, he also had an anchor on earth. He felt guilty that it wasn't Miranda's family that he'd connected with but that sack of issues was better to be dealt with another day.
The guilt never lasted long though. How could it?
He'd found his anchor.