A/N
Oneshot time! SASUNARU ONESHOT TIME! :D
Warning!
Yaoi
yeah... that's it. Enjoy!
Alone with his Memories
I am
Not sure why people hold onto memories so tight, when everyone knows that they will become distorted, changed,
shattered.
But, sometimes the memories are the only reminder that you're still here, the only thing you have left that isn't
broken.
Why would I want to memories, when all they have done was toy with my tortured mind, step on my
crushed
soul. They left me with nothing to feel except for pain. But, on the other hand,
I have
gotten stronger through the pain, watched him die by my hand. He seemed to have
been trapped
in a decision between making me stronger and saving himself. Sometimes I wish he had chosen the latter. Then, neither of us would have been hurt so bad, broken
inside.
Now, after watching him die, I hate
myself
even more, because I killed a man, my older brother, who did everything for me. It hurts more than the memories
and I can't
even face myself in the mirror anymore because I know that the person looking back at me can't
find the
person he is supposed to be. He sees no
light
at the end of the darkness.
Trapped.
In a white emptiness. No windowsdoorswalls. No way to escape the thoughtsmemoriespain.
Look around and see nothing but nothing at all. Sunk so far down into the pit of despair that no one can seehearfindsave me. His voice fills the empty, hides in the non-existent shadows.
If you wish to kill me one day, in hate and revenge, living in such and unsightly manner as this... by all means flee.
Words swirling around the emptiness, taunting me, hurting me. Memories I don't want to remember, but have, tearing my soul to pieces. It hurts my head, his voice. The voice of someone I respected.
Loved.
Cling to your retched life!
I did. I did I did I did because I was scared to die. I was scared and confused and angry and in agony because my brother did this. My big brother destroyed my life, left me all alone. He did it for me. All for me.
I cover my ears with my hands, not wanting another word to get through. But they had stopped chasing shadows in the nothingness, now taking residence in my tortured mind. They repeat everything, show me flashes of my once-happy family. I'm watching Itachi target practicing in the woods. He carries me home on his shoulders like he loved me.
He did love me. Madara told me. I killed someone who I needed to be there for me all along. I needed my big brother, but he left me.
I only acted as the older brother you desired for one purpose–
Acted. Actedactedacted. Was it real or was it fake? I see my moms smiling face as I walk in the door. I see my dad, finally proud of me when I perfect the fire ball jutsu. My happiest memories. Flash of blood. Now they're dead, Itachi killed them. For me? Does that make sense? No, nothing makes sense.
Everyone's dead now, I watch Itachi kill them all on loop, because the image had burned itself to the back of my eyelids. Every time I close my eyes it's there. Everysingletime.
I'm sorry, Sasuke.
He's bleeding. I made him bleed. But he's... smiling. the way he used to smile at me, but this time it hurts more to see him. He's proud of me, he's happy to finally be free of this world.
Did I save him?
This... is it.
No! No, it can't be it! You can't leave me, not again! I need you! Please, come back! Please... please... please...
He falls, smashing his head against the crumbling wall. The Uchiha symbol painted on it reminds me of when he explained about the police force in our village... no, my village... no... not anymore.
"Please... Please... Please..." I realize I'm saying it out loud. I push harder against my ears, forcing the sound out. I slam my eyes closed, hearing the whispers surround me. Suffocate me. Folding over each other so I can barely make out the words.
I'm sorry– cling to your– Sasuke– That's the– only acted as– kill me– purpose– revenge–
Even just hearing a word, I knew the rest of the sentence. I know everything Itachi had said to me. I hold my breath as long as I can, then longer. Maybe I'll pass out. But I know that's not possible, I'm trapped in the nothingness, trapped in the blank, the white.
No one can getoutcomeinsavemefromthehurt.
I'll always be there for you, even if it's as an obstacle you need to overcome.
I can't overcome this! No no no, I need you here, big brother! I need you, please come back!
I open my eyes halfway as if looking for Itachi. I see a bright flash of color, all too noticeable against the white. Someone's here?
They're closer now, and I wonder if they can hear the voices too. The whispers are louder now, screaming in my ears echoingthroughmywholebody.
"Make it... stop... stop... stop..." I whisper, barely making a sound. I keep repeating it, over and over, like if I do, the empty will stop whispering pain to me. Maybe the nothing will finally listen to me.
The person stopped in front of me. He has blue eyes, blond hair. His clothes are bright orange, just like they used to be. Except, now they have black too, instead of blue. I'm still taller than him. I see his mouth open, he's yelling, like always. I'm scared, shaking, going deaf from the chaos unfolding inside my head, my ears.
After all, that's what big brothers are for!
Last thing I hear.
Silence.
I take my hands away from my ears slowly. I notice his hands on my shoulders, his concerned eyes. My vision blurs... am I crying? I feel wetness on my cheek. Yes. I look into his eyes again, seeing my reflection in them. Shock is evident on my face. How could he have found me?
I fall, weak, helpless in the silence. The quiet fills my soul with something... hope? I don't want to hit the ground, but it rushes up at me at an alarming rate. I'm frozen, I can't save myself.
I think he caught me. I'm in his arms, now. He's hugging me, and I'm letting him. I'm hugging him back, holding him like a lifeline. Right now, he is. He saved me, not just from falling. He saved me from my own mind.
"Sh... it's okay..." he murmurs in my ear, and I let out a sob. "I'm here..."
Itachi may not be here anymore...
But Naruto is.
Ending note.
*sighs* Okay, backstory time.
So, I was looking up Naruto comics on the internet because I'm me. And I found this one that was... interesting. And I based my story on it. I'm pretty sure it's like a 3-7 panel comic with no words but... it's something right?
If that doesn't show how awesome I am, I don't know what does.
You might have seen the comic before. It's just Sasuke, standing in "the white", hands over his ears, eyes closed, crying. And then Naruto runs up and snaps him back to reality and hugs him.
Yeah, no words.
Heeheeeeee... I really need sleep. Highschool sucks...
Love youuuuuu!
~Kyarra-Chan
P.S., I can't even find the comic anymore because I have no clue what it's even called. GENIUS KY STRIKES AGAIN!