LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I PRESENT TO YOU: MY FIRST "DARK KNIGHT" FANFICTION!
HUZZAH AND HOORAH.
"Well, you know," the Joker drawled as he absentmindedly scratched at his neck, "you and me, uh, Bats, we're freaks." And it was around that time that Batman tuned his foe out.
It wasn't like he didn't want to listen to the Joker, per se; it was more as though he already knew what the Joker was going to say. How many times could one person re-phrase "I'm crazy" in completely outlandish ways and not get a tad bit redundant? Not that the Joker knew his speeches were getting predictable; and not even ol' Bats himself was crazy enough to tell him any different.
Instead, he took it as though it were a present: he used it for reflection, and to occasionally annoy the Joker with his so-called "cop speak." Batman knew to growl and shout around the first part of their "conversations," because the Joker was more than likely to be either making passes at the Batman or trying to corrupt him. The second half of his tirade included insight on the brutality that is modern society, cracking jokes about someone or other that he has killed, and then laughing when he gets his ass kicked.
Batman hated it when the Joker did that. It was just so, so, so obnoxious. He also hated that the Joker licked his lips.
It's the little things of the world that piss Batman off.
But in all seriousness, every time the Joker licked his lips-- like he was then-- something deep within the bowels of Batman's soul growled. He didn't know why; all he knew that his patience wore a little thinner every time that muscle twitched about like a wounded baboon around his lower lip.
And it seemed that his tongue was out in full force today, because it was just everywhere.
"Stop licking your god damn lips, already."
And by the sudden silence on the Joker's behalf, what had meant to be a thought apparently became a solid word block.
But, spoke some corner in his Bat-brain, he had gotten the Joker to shut up.
But the clown soon recovered, but not quite yet. "Um, ah, excuse me?" The Joker began to blink rapidly, and then he could barely contain a smile. "Do my, ah, habits annoy you?" He feigned a hurt look.
Batman scoffed. "It's a bad habit."
Again, momentary silence. Then the Joker erupted into fits of manic giggles, his lean frame shaking from all the amusement within. All that did was serve to piss Batman off more.
"Oh, Bats! Oh, oho!" The Joker slapped his knee and winked, his chuckles coming out as breaths. "You, you know, you're rich!" He wiped a tear from his eye. "That's why I love ya', ya' know?"
If Batman had no pride he would have rolled his eyes. He felt a growl at his diaphragm. "Joker."
Joker pursed his lips. "Yeah, yeah, I know, 'Joker, I'm serious'!" Joker ground out his voice, an exact replica of it's original. "But I'm serious too, ya' see. We are truly meant to be together."
Normally, comments like these wouldn't irritate the Batman too much. But, it seemed that all of the Joker's annoying eccentricities were out to grate on his nerves. And Batman knew just one way to vent.
He began to beat the living daylights out of the man.
Joker and Batman are meant to be together. TOGETHER FOREVRAR, MY FRIENDS.
This story is based off of the fact that me and my cousins/brothers took a night to count how many times the Joker licked his lips on-screen. We got (give or take) 103 times. Ohoho~
So support your local hobby shops and review. :B