The Proper Warder Attitude

Part 1.

It had taken him long enough to figure it out. The changes were small; Siuan, as everyone nowadays, was under a lot of pressure, and a bit of odd behaviour could be attributed to stress, and the approaching Tarmon Gaidon. They still didn't know for certain when that bloody battle would take place, or exactly where, although the Blight was a likely guess, and the wait tore on even Gareth's composure. But as for hints to Siuan's blossoming condition, there was that odd sensitivity to strong odours: ...well, perhaps his socks did smell at the end of a day, but he had never before known her to wrinkle her nose at him when he came back from the stables. And her from the start volatile temper seemed to have been given a boost.

Not that her temper had ever needed a boost.

It was the morning when she scrambled out of bed and was loudly sick that he learned what was going on. He rolled out of the covers, pulled on his breeches, and came to hold her hair for her as she heaved the remains of yesterday's dinner into her washing basin.

When she was done she sagged a bit and he supported her to a chair, helped her sit, kissed her forehead, all while she looked at him suspiciously from the corner of her eye.

"Shall I fetch a Yellow to look at you?" he asked, wondering at that suspicion.

"No, Gareth," she said in dangerously bland tones, still watching him as if she expected him to any moment explode.

He didn't explode. He opened his mouth to speak – then closed it again and thought. Her expression, the feeling of the bond, that out-of-place suspicion on her face… and most telling of all, that way she had placed both hands protectively over her belly.

She wasn't sick. She was pregnant.

Gareth felt as if someone had slapped him across the face with a pillow. It didn't hurt. It just… surprised him. Stunned him. When, after a moment, he managed to speak, all he could say was; "You… might have told me."

"You're not happy," Siuan concluded, and the way she studied him said that she was reading the bond as well as his face.

"I… don't know what to say. I suppose I ought to be happy. It's just… there's so much happening right now." He drew a chair for himself and sat down, facing her. "Light, Siuan. We have Tarmon Gaidon about to fall over our heads any day, and…"

"…and?"

The bond, if not the flat voice, told him how close he was to disaster. He reached out to take her hand, spread her fingers, and kissed her palm, then leaned his face into it with a sigh. Siuan said nothing, and although the bond softened a bit, it did not ease entirely. "I love you," Gareth told her. "As soon as all of this is done, I intend to marry you, and I would thank the Light for any child blessed to us."

"But not now?" Siuan concluded coolly. Her chin tilted up and she withdrew her hand.

As she hadn't accepted that gesture of truce, Gareth knew he was very close to disaster. He just wished he could have figured out why. "Give me an hour or two to get over the shock," he tried, with a smile. "It's just… I thought you were taking… precautions."

"I was. At first. Then I stopped." Siuan crossed her arms beneath her breasts and glared challenge at him.

"Stopped… why?"

"Because I fully intend to marry you, too, when this is all done, Light help me. But I've sense enough to realise that might never happen. I might die at Tarmon Gaidon, in which case the point would be moot, or we might both die, or you might die. And I decided that if there was a chance I could keep something of you, I would."

For the second time that morning, Gareth felt dumbstruck. This was Siuan talking?

"If I've suddenly sprouted scales and gills, Gareth Bryne, you will tell me instead of staring at me like a fool."

"A… child," Gareth managed finally. "You want a child? My child?"

Siuan sniffed. "Apparently even Aes Sedai end up with fool notions when they fall in love. And I already have one, thank you." She set her hands over her belly again. A belly which as of yet showed nothing at all.

Gareth tried to make sense of this information. He would be a father. Siuan wanted to carry his child – no, she was already carrying his child. He found that he was staring at her, and that whatever came through the bond was making her blush but smile back at him in apparent pleasure. Likely it was love. He could feel it himself, as if he was radiating it, as if it made his skin glow and his mind crumble away and hide. She must have felt it too. He reached across the distance between them and touched the silk surface of her nightgown, between the fingers she had spread across her abdomen. She caught his hand and placed his palm flat over it, beneath her own hands.

He couldn't think. All he had in his head was wonder, and affection, and the feeling that despite all, he might actually be able to fly. Or at least soar.

"We need to be married," he managed finally.

"That can be arranged," said Siuan, her cheeks still shaded crimson.

The next few words came out before he had considered them. "And we need to keep you away from Tarmon Gaidon."

Silence. The spell broke. The bond in his head was all that warned him as Siuan… exploded. She shoved him and his chair away with the Power, so that it slammed into the bedpost behind him and he was lucky not to have hit his head.

"Keep me away from Tarmon Gaidon? No!"

Disaster had struck, and now he would need to weather it. He cursed his fool tongue for being so blunt on a matter he knew would have required much more delicacy. He –

Tossed his arm up to swipe aside the water pitcher that came hurtling for his face. Thank the Light for Warder reflexes.

Siuan narrowed her eyes dangerously, and all of a sudden ten objects from all corners of the room were flying at him. There was nothing to do but throw his arms over his head and endure the barrage. When it finished he stood so suddenly that he kicked his chair over on his way up, and faced Siuan. "Stop using the bloody Power on me, woman!"

Siuan's face was cool and dignified. She sniffed. "When I throw something at you, Gareth Bryne, it's because I want something to hit you, and I expect you to have the decency to let yourself be bloody hit."

"And hitting me is supposed to make me change my mind?"

"No! It's supposed to make me feel better. I don't need to change your mind. You're my Warder. You'll do as I say."

"Not when what you say makes no bloody sense! When it comes to your own safety, Siuan, nothing you say makes any bloody sense –"

"You'll obey, Gaidin."

He kicked the chair for good measure. There followed a thud as the chair hit the nightstand, a crash as an empty wine pitcher and two glasses fell to the floor… it had been a fine pitcher, and Gareth almost regretted it. Almost. But the crash did reinforce his point rather nicely. "Burn it, but if it makes no sense, I will not!"

Her eyes narrowed. "On your knees," she instructed.

Of course he had no intention of… but then, jerkily, as if something was tugging at his mind, he folded his legs beneath himself and thumped to the floor so gracelessly that it hurt. It was compulsion, carried over the bond and sure as sunrise, and not subtly done. Of course, she didn't mean it to be subtle. By the time it had faded he and he could stand again, he could no longer tell which of them was the angrier. Her bond raged in the back of his mind, but he himself was mad enough that he actually quivered. "You've made your point most admirably, my dearest," he told her tonelessly. "What will you have me do next? Stand on one leg and flap my arms like a chicken?"

"Don't tempt me."

Gareth bit back a retort and reined himself in sharply. He reminded himself that he really didn't want to argue with her. If for no other reason, then because he had no idea yet how he might win. He moderated his tone. "I don't want to argue with you, Siuan. I don't want you to upset yourself, not –"

"Not now, you mean? Not with me in a delicate condition? Delicate this!" She snatched a candle stick from the table beside her chair and raised it as if to throw.

Gareth's arms swept up to protect his face, but the candle stick did not come soaring. All that came was Siuan's furious gaze, and one eyebrow arched in expectation.

Gareth sighed, lowered his arms, and let the candle stick hit him square on the jaw. It was what the bloody woman wanted. And her aim was improving, he thought, as he rubbed his sore cheek and checked with his tongue that all his teeth were still in place. He should have known better than to fall in love with a woman who would not be given orders, would not be threatened, or cajoled, or even that easily placated.

There was only one thing to do. He would pay for it later, but he was reasonably certain she would forgive him in… oh, about twenty years. Perhaps ten, if he kept her well supplied with things to throw at him.

"Feel better?" he asked her magnanimously.

"A little," she snapped. She did have the decency to look abashed as he worked his aching jaw.

"Good," he said. "My turn."

He spun about, tore the heavy velvet curtains from the bedposts, and tossed them at her. She gave a little shriek and likely prepared to channel something, but he had heard her say quite clearly that it was difficult to channel at what you couldn't see, and before she could do much more he had bundled her securely into a roll of curtains and dumped her over his shoulders, and was already jogging out of their room.

Only belatedly did he realise that he was still in nothing but breeches, and Siuan of course cursed loud and clear like the Tearen fisherman's daughter she was, and did not have the curtsey to make a very compliant bundle. She didn't channel at him, but she didn't stay still either.

They must have been quite a sight. And made quite a sound. An entire circus, for the entertainment of the entire bloody Blue Ajah.

He clung on and jogged down the corridors, ignoring the gaping expressions of the servants, the amused Warders, and the Aes Sedai, who ranged from mortified to simply curious, from rolling their eyes to disapprovingly turning their backs. Twice he nearly dropped her due to her twisting antics, no matter how securely he tucked the curtains about her, but when he snapped at her to "hold still, woman!" she invariably replied something about how she'd use his liver for fish-bait, if she hadn't thought it would poison the fish.

Which, if nothing else, told him that at least her spirits were up despite being so indignantly bundled.

He shouldered the door to the Amyrlin's antechamber open and came in already demanding an audience, while Siuan vehemently promised to gut him and skin him, slice him up, and feed him to the silverpike. He was quite certain she'd do no such thing. For when it came down to it, he was sure she'd be much more creative. Not necessarily a good thing.

"The Amyrlin has no time for – oh Light!" Attending the Amyrlin's door was an Accepted with dark braids, vaguely familiar. But in the rebel's camp she'd worn only a Novice dress. "Lord – lord Bryne! Is that – is that Siuan Sedai?"

Siuan confirmed the guess by continuing her curses.

"I'll need to see the Amyrlin at once, girl," Bryne said as calmly as he could, while ignoring how Siuan's feet, now loose from the folds of curtain, were trying to kick him in the belly.

The Novice-turned-Accepted had likely not been instructed on what to do in cases like these. With a squeak she spun and fled into the Amyrlin's quarters for instructions. Gareth did his best to wait patiently. Meanwhile, Siuan seemed to be worrying a fold of the curtain in her teeth and snarling vehemently.

"You – you may enter, Lord Bryne," stammered the Accepted when she came back out.

Bryne stalked into the Amyrlin's chamber, shouldered the door shut behind him, and dumped the bundle of Siuan onto the floor.

Egwene, the Amyrlin Seat, Watcher of the Seals, Flame of Tar Valon, sat behind a desk full of work, and raised one cool eyebrow in question at her visitors.

"We've had a disagreement I was hoping you might settle for us, Mother," Bryne said by way of introduction, and bowed as best he knew how.

Siuan scrambled out of the tangled curtains, looking about her, and near flinched when she caught sight of Egwene. "Mother," she said, bowing her head. "I'm sorry about this, Mother. But my Warder just –"

"Your Warder, daughter," Egwene said serenely and thus silenced her, "is out of hand. Perhaps I should have you hand him over to some Green who better knows how to deal with a man of his calibre."

Gareth froze.

Siuan grew white-faced. "M-mother!" she stammered. "Gareth is – he's – I mean – you know..!"

"Yes, daughter." Egwene's voice was cold. "I know. What I don't know, however, is how come your domestic issues end up on my doorstep when you both know that I have work to do. If you can't keep that Warder of yours reined in, you should hand him over."

"Mother," Gareth broke in, "Siuan's pregnant."

Siuan gave him a withering look. "A Gaidin will not address the Amyrlin Seat until he's been given leave to speak."

"Burn that," Gareth snapped at her. "Siuan's pregnant," he told Egwene, "and I don't want her near Tarmon Gaidon. Can you spare her?"

Egwene ignored him, keeping her eyes on Siuan. "You should be grateful Silviana isn't here. She Silviana would have insisted on a penance. A trip to the Mistress of Novices for a sound strapping at the least."

"Yes, Mother," Siuan acknowledged, her voice and her bowed head the picture of compliance, but in the back of Gareth's mind the bond was still a knot of living fury.

Himself, Gareth felt his fists want to curl. He kept his hands open with an effort of will, and kept silent. He suspected that if he spoke again, he would again be ignored. If he entered Egwene's presence as Lord Bryne, the general, she would speak quite openly to him. But right now he was only Gareth Gaidin, the insubordinate Warder to Siuan Sedai, acknowledged about as much as a pin Siuan might wear on her dress. All he had accomplished by this was Siuan's anger and Egwene's… indifference. And possibly a bloody penance for Siuan, for failing to keep him in line.

Burn him if he would stand for it. No one was going to set a strap to Siuan's hide while he lived to stop it. Especially not for something he had done.

He ignored the little voice wondering wryly how he intended to stop it.

Gareth assumed a waiting pose, hands clapped behind his back, and eyes stoically forward. If they intended to ignore him, there wasn't much he could do about it. Jumping up and down and waving his arms was not only beneath his dignity, but also, it would either end with him bound up in Air or… by him jumping up and down and waving his arms and being studiously further ignored.

Aes Sedai, he had discovered, shared a positive talent for ignoring things.

"Myself," Egwene said, "I believe that the humiliation of being carried here like a sack of potatoes is punishment enough for you, daughter."

"Yes, Mother."

"Now. The Gaidin wished to address me?"

Siuan hesitated. The look she gave Gareth over her shoulder could have made a stone shatter. "Yes, Mother."

"With your permission, then, Siuan; the Gaidin may speak," Egwene said formally.

Siuan waved an unhappy hand at Gareht, who swallowed his pride and bowed first to her, and then, deeper, to Egwene. "Honour to serve, Mother," he said, matching the Amyrlin's formality. "For what may yet come, I stand ready."

Egwene's eyebrow arched coolly upward. "So you have learned some manners, Gaidin. Very good."

"Yes, Mother," Gareth said. "Siuan Sedai… is pregnant. I would beg the favour that you keep her away from Tarmon Gaidon."

Siuan sniffed, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Whatever for?" asked Egwene.

Gareth frowned. "Because she's –"

"I heard you the first time, Gaidin. What of it? Is she ill, too?"

"No more than could be expected, Mother," Siuan trilled, smiling broadly now.

"Then you have my congratulations, daughter."

"Thank you, Mother," Siuan practically beamed, and the look she gave Gareth this time was triumphant. The bond still bubbled with fury.

Gareth frowned. "You can't mean, Mother, that you'll let her off to battle –"

Egwene looked at him, and he found his words trailing off. It was very difficult to remember, when she used that look, that she was less than half his age. He gathered himself with some effort. "Mother, a woman in Siuan's condition, even an Aes Sedai, has no place in a battle."

Siuan ran out of patience. "If that's all you intend to nag about, then be silent, Gareth Bryne!" she snapped. "My condition is none of your bloody business!"

"Oh, isn't it?" Egwene said with one eyebrow coolly raised, this time in amusement. "Then tell us, Siuan. Whose 'bloody business' is it?"

Siuan's face reddened.

Egwene shook her head. "Request denied, Gaidin."

"But –"

Egwene looked. Gareth snapped his mouth closed. To get himself of the Amyrlin's bad side was no way to start a day.

"Three reasons," Egwene continued, speaking patiently, as if explaining something to an errant youth. Or an errant Gaidin. Gareth wasn't surprised to realise the difference was slight: Aes Sedai saw everyone aside from themselves as children. "Firstly, you belong to Siuan Sedai, and whatever is given you must come through her hands. I am not entitled to grant you gifts or favours unless she expressedly approves them."

Gareth bowed his head. He'd heard of that one. He should have expected it.

"Secondly," Egwene went on, "no, I can't spare Siuan. I can't spare anyone, and if I did spare one, don't you think I'd have ten others here in a moment asking the same thing? And thirdly, this isn't just a battle. This is Tarmon Gaidon. Do you honestly believe she might be safe just because she doesn't take active part? Everyone is at risk, Gaidin. Everyone, everywhere."

"I understand, Mother," Gareth said with as much grace as he could summon.

"Do you think yourself the only Gaidin worried for his Aes Sedai?" Egwene went on, "I wouldn't have thought you that arrogant. Every bonded Warder is on his toes with worry. You just happen to the only one with the gall to bundle your Aes Sedai into a curtain and override her will. The rest of them know better."

"Then they're all fools, Mother," Gareth opined quietly.

"Are they really?"

Gareth considered it, and couldn't make himself reiterate the point. He'd actually never known a Gaidin he might in all honesty name a fool. There were worse and better men among Warders, too, but… no fools.

"Siuan, daughter," Egwene said, turning to Siuan. "I shall require your Warder in my presence this evening, to oversee a matter of supplies. Can you spare him?"

"Naturally, Mother," Siuan agreed graciously.

"Apparently the rot has gotten into the armouries, and our weaponry has begun to rust something dreadful. Would you be so kind to summon Penwynna of the Brown, and Julihe of the Red to me as well? And pass word to Assare of the Green, too."

"I'll find them at once, Mother," Siuan promised.

Gareth eyed her, and gave a warning little cough.

Siuan reddened. "As – as soon as I have returned to my chambers and been properly dressed, Mother," she amended.

"That is well, daughter. You may withdraw."

Siuan curtsied, Gareth bowed, and they withdrew.

As soon as the door was closed behind them Siuan turned to Gareth, with murder in her eyes. "If you weren't my bonded Warder, Gareth Bryne," she told him, "I'd have your hide torn off in strips so fine you could weave a net of them. But since you are, I have something much more satisfactory in mind. You may thank the Amyrlin and her talk of Greens for it. Come."

She swept the curtain about herself as if it had been a gown and strode with perfect dignity out of the antechamber. Gareth followed at her heels. Well, he had known he would pay for it later. He had counted it well worth the price… but of course, he had expected his ploy to work.

They returned to their chambers. Siuan washed and dressed, wrinkled her nose at her breakfast and felt slightly nauseated. When he prodded her to eat she turned to him with an air that made him wonder if he should be grateful that she didn't slap him.

She made him dress in the most gaudy coat he owned – something she had had sewn for him for just such an occasion, he suspected, as he couldn't remember seeing the garment before – and then had him prowl along while she went dutifully to bow and scrape before Penwynna of the Brown, and Julihe of the Red, and finally Assare of the Green, conveying the Amyrlin's wish to see them at once.

Once Assare of the Green was off down the corridor at what for her appeared a stately, cool pace, but which left her three Warders jogging to keep up, Siuan turned to Gareth, her eyes narrowed in that way he knew meant trouble.

"Once this is all done, Gareth Bryne, and we've retired to Kore Springs, I assume things will be different between us," she said, all too amiably; he took a step back, almost reaching for his sword. She smiled. "But for the moment, you are Gaidin, and it is high time you begin acting like one. Fortunately, a certain Green sister has recently returned to the Tower, and I imagine if she can't help me set you straight, there's no hope for you."

Gareth felt wary. Siuan waved a hand. "Don't worry. I won't hand your bond over to anyone… as long as you play along."

She knocked on a door.

"Come in, Siuan," replied a voice from inside.

They entered. Seated on a high-back chair and working on some knitting, with a kettle of tea beside her, was a pinch-faced old Aes Sedai with iron eyes and gold trinkets stuck about her neatly pinned grey hair.

Siuan curtsied near as deeply as she had for Egwene. "Cadsuane Sedai," she said, and although her voice was humble, Gareth felt triumph already brewing in the bond. "Do you have the time for a favour?"

Cadsuane, over the click click click of her knitting needles, and looked first at Siuan, then at Gareth. The look made Gareth feel like a ten-year-old who'd torn the knees of his breeches. Again. He assumed a waiting stance, made himself not fidget, and tried to figure his chances for making it out the door in one piece. Considering the bond… he wouldn't get very far. And he wasn't very keen on leaving Siuan alone with this woman.

It was the bond that made him nervous, more than this Cadsuane Sedai. The bond was gleefully malicious. Apparently Siuan knew this Cadsuane well enough to expect… well, great things from her.

Himself, he had never heard of her. He could tell from seeing her that she wasn't a woman to be trifled with, but…

Cadsuane laid her knitting down. "Well enough, girl," she said briskly. "I was about to send for you anyway. I have questions for you, and if it'll loosen your tongue I'm sure I could grant you some small favour in return. You always were pigheaded, and I really don't have the time to pry things out of you word for word."

At once Siuan's bond was wary, too… but then she sighed, the wariness melting into acceptance, and with a last, nasty look at Gareth over her shoulder she curtsied again to Cadsuane. "I'll be happy to answer your questions in exchange, Cadsuane."

"Excellent. Would you care for some tea?"

"Yes, thank you, Cadsuane," Siuan said, and when Cadsuane gestured she popped over to the table to pour tea for them both.

"Now, what seems to be the problem?" Cadsuane picked up her knitting again.

"I'm having some trouble with my Warder."

"Gareth Bryne." Cadsuane sniffed. "If you bond a man like Gareth Bryne, child, of course you're going to have some trouble."

Siuan's temper flared, but she swallowed it. "Do you have any advice to give me, Cadsuane?"

"Why of course, Siuan," Cadsuane murmured. "Leave him where he is, for now. Pour the tea, half a cup, thank you, girl. Now sit." Siuan seated herself with all grace in front of Cadsuane. Cadsuane laid the knitting aside, reached for her cup, and drew a careful sip. "Tell me, child. What sort of trouble has the lad caused you?"

The question was for Siuan, but Cadsuane looked at Gareth as she spoke. Gareth stiffened, and knew at once that this was going to be… painful.

Author's Note:

Just a scribble I did during some free time. Hope it amused. Second part will be forthcoming...