Can't fight this feeling any longer

Chapter 1

It was 5am when she received a phone call, she at least had some sleep, is hard to get up from the cozy bed though, lately sleep is not even an option to escape from her worries, is dark and she can't find her cellphone, she remembers that last night she was too tired to even change so she just laid down in bed and fall asleep, finally she finds her purse and after a few rings, her phone "Captain Raydor" her voice was sleepy and low, "sorry to interrupt your sweet dreams Captain but we got a case and it doesn't look good" said L. Provenza on the other side of the phone "text me the address please Lieutenant, I'll be there as soon as possible" this was definitely going to be another long day without sleeping and not only because of the case, the Captain wasn't sleeping that much since Stroh had escaped, she didn't let anyone see how worried she was about her son and her own life being in danger, sometimes she woke up in the middle of the night with very unpleasant dreams of Stroh, weeks ago she had decided to put the case file out of her sight and was starting to let Rusty do his own things without people looking after him but that didn't mean her worries were less.

She got to the crime scene 20 minutes later after the call "what do we have?" She asked while entering the house "triple homicide, one in the kitchen and two in the main bedroom, male in the kitchen whom I presume is the father, upstairs is the wife and a girl of 12, for what I see the suspect kills the man first then the wife and it looks like it wasn't expecting the girl to show up, but here is the worst thing Captain…" but before he could said anything

"The worst? What is it?" she asked

"I'm afraid there's a baby missing, here are some pictures of the family and there are no tracks of the little boy" Provenza said handing a photograph "he is about 1 year old, I really can't tell"

"Thank you Lieutenant, do we know the names of the members of this family?" she remembered the first case she had when she joined this team, she didn't know the name of the victim and Flynn had reproached her that, since then she made sure she knew every victim's name.

"The mother is Helena, the daughter's Linda and the fellow here is Jason and the missing baby is Luke" Sykes answered reading the notes she had in her notepad "the parents own a company named after their last names Makensie&Williams, a chemical company…"

"Hey Captain" they heard Flynn scream from upstairs "I think you need to see this"

They all go upstairs to find a standing paralyze Flynn in the door of what seam the baby's room

"What is it Lieutenant?" Sharon asked desperate

He only pointed at the wall and could barely speak "there"

No one said a word for a few minutes, they were paralyze and couldn't believe what they were seeing, *I'm always looking* was writing with blood in a wall of the boy's room.

"What…" Sharon tried to find the words to speak but couldn't find the right ones

"We can't jump to any conclusions Captain" Provenza said trying to keep her focus "we know he escaped and he wouldn't risk being caught that easily, maybe this means something else…" he couldn't find the right words to tell her that everything was going to be okay, that maybe it was just a coincidence or it wasn't related to Stroh at all, she wanted to believe so, "you are right Lieutenant, what else do we know?" she asks trying to hold back tears and worries.

"Nothing much, the Medical Examiner says that the victims were attacked with a knife, several wounds and the time of death is approximate 2am and one of the cars register on the father's name is missing too, so maybe the killer took it too"

"Do we know who made the 911 call?"

"No ma'am, it was an anonymous call from a disposable cellphone, so we don't know…" Julio said

"So the person who did this wanted us to find the crime scene, but why? Why risk that? And why take also a car that can be tracked?" there are too many questions unanswered. For a moment she thought about the car missing, maybe it was him, after all he had sent a young boy to kill Rusty and he took the cars of his victims but changed the plaques, still she had to keep focus and find that baby that was missing, she could only think in Rusty.

"Ok, Lieutenant Provenza please work in any lead that this might be him, look up who visited him in prison or who kept contact with him while he was still in prison in the last months" she said trying not to even put a name to that person that haunts her in her dreams "Tao and Sykes please see if there were some people fired from their company in the past year that didn't take it so well, we can't let this be just about him and erase any other possible suspect" they just node and headed outside "Lieutenant" she said turning to Flynn "please come with me to the morgue"

The ride back to the station was hard, she tried to keep her mind clear about any bad thought, what if it was really him? What did this mean? It was about 8am when she headed to the morgue with Flynn, she needed answers.

"Dr. what do we have?"

"Well, this is going to sound strange…" he started saying and was instantly cut off by Sharon "please no more strange things, what is it?" she said desperately

"Ok Captain, let me talk please" he said trying to say what was on his mind

"Sorry, please continue" she said rolling her eyes

"Ok, let's see, so far the three victims have several knife wounds, this buddy here was stabbed in the back 3 times, it took long for him to die, he bleed to death, I would say that the killer heard noise upstairs and couldn't risk it so the killer couldn't keep on stabbing him, then it goes with the lady, she was grabbed from behind and the killer stabs her in the chest 2 time" he takes a break to breathe "now the girl, the killer suffocates her and what is odd is that the killer didn't have to stab her with the knife, she was already dead"

"Maybe he wanted to make sure…"

"Perhaps, yes, I still don't know what kind of knife the killer used, but this I can say to you, the killer you are looking for, is a woman"

"Why would you say that?" Flynn asks

"Well the wounds on the victims were done with not so much of strength, but is just a theory that I need more time to prove"

"Ok thanks Dr. let us know what else comes up and when you know what kind of knife was used" she said before heading to her office, Andy following behind.

"Captain" Flynn call her approaching to her

"Yes Lieutenant?"

"What Dr. Morales said, is a good sign…" he wanted her to feel better "if the killer is a woman that message there could mean something else…"

"Yes, it could mean many things but I won't be in peace until I know…" she was going to get all personal, but stopped before saying something else "I won't be in peace until we find this killer" and with that she left to her office.

She was in her office thinking every possible scenario if the killer was Stroh or related somehow to him, she wanted to look outside to be useful, to find him once and for all so the nightmares would stop, she needed to find that missing baby, she couldn't bear the thought that he might be near but they didn't have much, only a message that turned everything upside down. She stayed like that for a few minutes, it felt like hours until her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Captain, we might have a lead" said Tao opening the door

She instantly jumped off her chair and went with him to his desk. "What do we have?"

"Well, the company is really big so they have about 500 employees, in the past 5 months they fired 20" Sykes said looking at the Captain to be sure she was listening, she got a node from the brunette and continued "we got the reasons why they got fired and all of them found jobs except for 3 that were fired about 2 weeks ago for making a bad delivery to a client or something like that and the company lost a lot of money for that"

"Sykes go with Julio to visit them and check what they were doing last night, Tao please see if you can find anything in that 911 call" she then approached to Provenza and ask if he had found anything interesting about Stroh, all leaded to nothing and that didn't help at all, she node and was about to head to her office when Flynn called her "Captain, we traced the car they found it abandoned in the road, a guy called a few minutes ago to the police saying he saw blood in the road and that leads to the car"

Flynn, Provenza and the Captain arrived to the crime scene, there was indeed a dead body in the truck of the car, a woman, her name Lucia Martinez 30 years old with nice clothes and the same wounds as the other victims and in the pocket of her jacket was a paper *lost and never found* that's all it said, nothing more. What did that mean? Probably the Captain was really lost in this case and all she could think now was that the killer was going to another state of the country, out of her hands and she didn't have anything, not one clue of whom might this person be. A call in her phone made her come back from her thoughts "Captain Raydor" she answered without looking who was calling

"Captain we went to the houses of Jack and Leo they both have alibies we already checked them but we can't find a guy named Mark the other person that got fired, their neighbors said that they hadn't seen him for a couple of days"

"Thank you Detective, please keep looking for him" she hung up "that was Detective Sykes, they can't find one of the persons who got fired" she said to the two Lieutenants that were talking

"There is something that doesn't fit here" Provenza said "all indicates that is something personal, I can't relate this with Stroh, maybe is a pattern and the person saw in the news and wants to make us thinks that is him, but I see this too personal and this person that Sykes and Julio can't find, maybe he is the one who did it-"

"I agree with you Lieutenant but why the notes that the killer left, what do they mean? And this poor woman—"she tried to said something but the words wouldn't come out of her now dry mouth

"The killer is now heading to who knows where, we need to know where and why" Flynn said interrupting whatever thoughts she had

They were back to the station, but who would they look? They didn't even know if the suspect was a woman or a man, they needed more leads.

All of them were busy pursuing any lead, when Dr. Morales entered the room and made it to the whiteboard placing pics of the wounds and a knife, "so here is my theory" he begin saying "this is the knife that the killer used and yes is a woman because the wounds in the man" he said pointing to a picture "are from behind, she isn't strong enough to grab him and stab him in the chest but she is strong enough to do it with the wife and the girl, besides the wounds indicate that the force used wasn't that deep" he said doing a curtsey of thank you "now the victim you found in the truck, was attacked in the middle of the road so your killer couldn't waist time so she stab her in the lung so that's what killed her, she drowned in her own blood, I couldn't find fingerprints in the clothes, so probably she is using gloves"

"Thank you doctor that helps a lot" the Captain said, finally after so many hours they had something, but who was this woman, why did she attacked this family, was she related somehow with the family? Did she work in the company?

It was night already, they were all collecting any piece of information that leads them to this woman, Julio and Sykes had already found Mark and he was now in the station, to be now interrogate. With all things consider, they didn't have much, this woman was good at what she was doing she didn't leave anything behind her, they had to find her before anyone else got killed.

Mark hadn't been that helpful he was drunk and all he could said was that he didn't do nothing. It was very late and Chief Taylor sent them all home because they weren't getting any results, he had said "come back with clear minds" but he also had to say with his demanding voice "find this woman as soon as possible, I don't want more deaths".

This case was definitely hard enough.