Katara is known as The Great Waterbender. Her abilities exceed them all. At night she dreams of water, of pillars of ice. But there is always the feeling of wrongness around her, at least when she's awake. She cries while she sleeps, and yet that's the only time she can feel her smile reaching her eyes. She knows that there is snow, and barrels, and clouds, but Katara can't help yearning for smooth white floors, the knowledge that worlds live under her feet.
It's somewhere in winter that she begins to cough. Of course they all think it's normal. Sokka visits, and it's something like normality, except they don't eat fish. They eat vegetables, and she's not able to eat anything. They don't know it, but she's not able to eat without vomiting in a bin afterwards, her own hands keeping the long brown hair out of her mouth.
Before they know it, she's losing weight like a zoo animal. Her eyes lost their glow a year ago, but now she fears it might be serious. She clings to Aang and her brother for warmth. Though she's his wife, kissing him always, it's always been awkward. She feels like she's kissing her child.
Winter melts into spring, and before she knows it, Aang is always there and she can't hide except for the times she's asleep, or vomiting. Fevers become normal, her brown skin ugly and beautiful all at once. She sleeps all the time, like Sleeping Beauty, except Aang's kiss can't wake her. Aang calls for a doctor for one of the only times in his life. The response is simple. She is homesick.
It's proven correct on one of the few occasions she's awake. She looks at him with those cold eyes. "Aang," she says through dry, chapped lips, "I need to go home."
"Your home is here, Katara."
"It's killing me."
That's all that's needed to confuse him. "How can you be sure that's what you need? You need rest."
"I've been sick since I moved here, Aang. And if I'm going to die anyway, let me die in my home. My soul and I have been parted too long. I'll meet her in the Southern Water Tribe."
With a withered, tired sigh Aang nods, and Katara coughs into a handkerchief, already thinking about oceans and whaledogs.
Fire Lord Zuko is going insane; that's what he thinks. He is kept up all night doing duties for the Fire Nation.
She left months ago; Mai did. He didn't have enough love left in his chest.
When his eyes are closed, however, and he thinks of Katara, he misses her. Dreams of dark brown hair make him grin. He is happy as Fire Lord, mostly. But he finds that he never has time for anything anymore. If only there were another way.
He figures that the Fire Nation has making up to do. They have destroyed Nations, swept people under a rug like dirt. They have been giants, destroying houses in their waking. So he decides to do something.
Without too much explanation, he informs his Uncle of his leaving, while he grabs a coat.
He'd never say it, but he's missed the ocean. It doesn't really feel right sometimes, when he's sitting on his throne. It'll be nice to see his crew again.
Katara watches as the first icebergs come into view. She longs to brush her fingers along one of the cold surfaces, but she's been expressly forbidden. She has to stop for a minute while she hacks her lungs out over the side.
Wiping her mouth with her sleeve, she watches the water parting beneath the bow of the ship. The ship has yet to be taken over by the ice, but she knows it will.
I'm leaving, she thinks. Her gaze drifts backwards to an Air Temple that disappeared long ago. Aang is still there, will always be there, while Katara was always supposed to live among water.
They're going to terminate the marriage. For anyone else it would bring at least a bit of grief, or anger, but Katara smiles. She won't have to kiss her brother anymore.
Aang is left behind, because he's like her in a way. He needs to be high up for a while, in mountains or on Appa. He can't stay on flat ground for years without growing uncomfortable. And besides, she doesn't want him to end up like her; coughing and sweating like the undead.
The water makes her heart beat faster. She decides that she's more likely to heal if she does what she wants. Her hand stretches over the rail, creating a serpentine thread of shimmering liquid.
It strikes a chord inside her, a smile coming to her lips. Her return is unannounced, and she can already picture the faces of her father and brother, feel their arms wrapping around her weak-but-steady frame.
A few minutes later, she feels the ship stop. With a rush of happiness she runs downstairs, to the place in which she'll enter a familiar world of white and blue.
When she steps onto the ice for the first time in forever she falls to her knees. Her delicate lips press into the chill of her homeland.
Zuko looks out from his watchtower. He can see the white of the Southern Water tribe. He had decided that he would go clockwise around the globe, to ask for forgiveness of all the nations.
He feels the ship shift as it stops. He swallows a lump of nervousness, and leaves for the ice.
They walk for what seems like half an hour, when in reality it was ten minutes. Everything around Zuko is white, save for the sky. When he reaches the village he waits while his old friends talk to Hakoda.
"Ah, my daughter's old friend," the chief greets him. "My son is fishing at the moment, but he should be back."
"Your daughter is with the Avatar still?"
"Of course. They're meant to be!" Hakoda laughs.
Zuko nods, though his teeth clench.
"Surely though, it must be trying up in the mountains! She doesn't have any water."
"True. But she's happy, from what I've heard."
"When did you last hear from her?"
"Midwinter."
Zuko nods again, pressing his lips together so they form a thin line. "Are you not worried?"
"We'd catch word if she was ill."
"Are you sure. The Air Temples are far from villages."
"Aang would make the trip."
It's true, he thinks, Aang would. Zuko tips a mug of warm ice-tea into his mouth. The steam warms his face from the chill of the icy desert. He gulps down the liquid as if it were one of his mother's mugs of warm milk.
Katara knows the way off by heart. She sees nothing through the thick covering of snow. Wool gloves grip at her skirt nervously. Her pace is quick but careful. This Katara knows that she is still sick. She will probably be sick for a while.
While she walks, she focuses on the white puffs leaving her mouth. The snow isn't too bad, but while her cheeks remain covered, her eyelashes are coated in snowflakes.
A few minutes span over the desert before she sees the Southern Water Tribe's barriers. Katara starts to run but finds herself tripping over her own feet. Once again she's on her knees, her limbs trembling. Another coughing fit almost overwhelms her, and droplets of blood stain the snow. Shame. Seems I'm not going to heal, yet.
On her feet again, pulling her scarf down.
A few children stand outside and one notices her. "Look!" she screeches.
"Ki!" Katara laughs.
"Katara!"
The girl had been six last time the Master waterbender had seen her. She prays to Yue and Tui that she doesn't cough now that she's here. Ki is now ten, and she leaps towards Katara, wrapping her in a hug.
Her friends join her. Li, Mina, and Nai.
"I'm back," she says, and hopes that the girls can hear. "Do you know where my dad and brother are?"
"In the Chief Igloo."
"Of course," Katara grins, giving them another brief hug before striding towards the Igloo.
She stops outside and listens to the voices. Her father, her brother and… Zuko? A laugh almost erupts at coincidence. However, suddenly she has to stop herself from another coughing fit.
She knows she shouldn't have come if it were anything else. Katara swallows her cough and her lungs shriek in agony. Trying not to make any noise, Katara's fingernails dig into her palms. A long, cold breath of air comes rushing into her body, soothing her organs for a bit.
She scoops a bit of snow and melts it, drinking the cold liquid. Then she's back on her feet, knocking on the wall of the igloo. The voices stop. "Come in," her father's warm voice says.
She enters, not entirely sure if they'd recognise her. Well, Sokka and Zuko. Her father always said she looked like her mother. With a grin she strides towards her father and wraps him in a hug.
"Katara? We had no idea!" A laugh rumbles from her father's gut. And for the first time she is so, so happy.
"Katara?" Sokka's familiar voice makes her grin, but it also makes her guilty.
He was there while she was sick. "What are you doing here?"
Katara shoots Zuko a glance. "I'm moving back. I can't live with Aang anymore." She can sense Sokka sharpening his boomerang already.
Hakoda almost looks heartbroken. "Katara, what happened?"
"It wasn't Aang. I can't live up in mountains anymore. There's no substantial water up there."
"There is snow and clouds-"
"It can't save me. If anything it's destroying me."
Zuko's eyebrows draw into a frown.
Katara meets his eyes and sticks her tongue out. "Look who's back," she smirks.
You've changed, Zuko thinks.
The cough she'd been hiding before fights its way up again. She sucks in a ragged breath, and once again her body screams in protest.
She moves away so that she can cough into her left hand. It rumbles out of her body, dark red sticking to her palms. She frowns for a minute.
"I'm finally back," she says, a small smile appearing. "Aang got a healer up on the weekend for the first time in his life. My body physically can't live there anymore."
"So you're literally homesick?" asks Zuko. His fingers knot together.
Katara hesitates, and she almost falls apart. "Yes," she says, her voice springing out. "Physically, as you can see. I've been sick since winter."
"I was there!" Sokka suddenly shouts, "How did you not show anything?"
"I don't want you to worry about me." Her shoulders rise and drop. She doesn't hide the fatigue.
"Of course I worry now!" her brother yells.
If only she could keep her coughs in. But she can't, and she's too tired to be mad, so without any resistance the waterbender leaves the room, back outside into the snow.
She is soon joined by a presence. Right away she senses the familiar air of the Prince- Or Fire Lord, now.
"How bad is it really?" he says, his first private words to her in four years.
"Not too bad," Katara lies. She doesn't want his pity. Not him. It would ruin her, probably.
She swallows another cough, and curls into herself. The cough beats its way into the world, however. She's too late to stop the droplets of blood landing at her feet. "When I said that living in the Air Temple was killing me, I meant it literally." She watches his gaze landing on the crimson, lying amongst the white. The impurity reaching through layers of perfection. "I think- I don't think I'm going to die. I just need water. I need movement."
"This is serious, Katara." She had missed his voice. "Do you realise that you're coughing up blood!" His voice rises. His hands grip her wrists. "I came out here to talk to you about the sickness."
"Don't yell at me. I'm too tired," Katara hisses, yanking her hands away from his and wrapping them around her knees. Her brunette curls bob as she shakes her head from side to side. She swallows the metallic blood.
"This isn't you, Katara. Where has the real one gone?"
"She lives on the seas, I think."
"Are you sure?"
"I think. I'm going to stay here for a little bit. And then, if that doesn't work." The Waterbending master pauses, her eyebrows creasing. "I'm going to go with you."
Zuko starts. His golden eyes look at her for any sign of a joke, but there is nothing. "Why! You need to heal."
"That's the thing. I'm not sure if I will ever entirely heal. I want to do something. I don't want to lie on my deathbed like a- like a quitter."
She's back. This is the Katara he knows. The one who bites at prodding, who will not just sit down and do nothing. Despite the grotesque topic, he almost smiles. "You may come. But if they find out they'll never let you leave. Especially Sokka."
"I won't let them. I'll ask for a handkerchief."
"Okay. How long will we stay?"
"Two weeks."
With a slight nod, Zuko extends his hand. "That should give me enough time to reconcile with the chief of the Southern Water Tribe."
Zuko, in his sleep, doesn't know what made him say yes. Katara is ill. Yes- Katara is ill and he doesn't really know what to say to that. The other night she had a fever, and all through the night he heard peoples' hushed voices. 'Do you think she's going to die?'
'I can't comment on the Chieftain's daughter's condition.'
And of course, Zuko thinks, this was a terrible idea. Of course he had to come to the Southern Water Tribe while Hakoda's daughter returned- ill -and he was the only one who knew how serious it was.
For a moment he ponders the world without Katara there. Katara was always there.
When Katara announces that it's morning, Zuko can't help but groan. He gets to his feet. He's slept in his robe, of course. It's freezing cold, and even though he's got multiple fur coats and layers, his breath comes frosty.
Sokka's had a good catch. On the table lie plates of fish. Accompanying that are bowls of sea prunes. Zuko's forgotten how much he hates it, but he eats it out of politeness. He notices that Katara is also eating little.
He reaches out, his hand squeezing Katara's. She shoots him a knowing smile. Zuko nods back, but he doesn't make a smile. They can't suspect anything.
"Zuko. You've been spending a lot of time with my daughter lately."
Zuko spluttered. "What- oh yeah." He swallowed some soup. "I think you suspect why I'm here. I'm making formal apologies to all the four nations. Well, you, the Earth Kingdom, and the Northern Water Tribe. And I have to apologize to my people as well. It's been years since Katara saw the Fire Nation. It gleams of hope. So she's coming with me."
"What?! But she's only just back!" Hakoda muttered, rubbing his chin.
"I'm not leaving right away, Dad. In two weeks."
Hakoda sighed. "Well, I guess you're an adult now. You can make your own decisions."
"Thanks, Dad."
Katara grins at him. A gust of wind blows through the doorway and Katara literally sways. She laughs.
The cold flows into her body, pushing her sideways, and then she comes back, bumping her arm into Zuko slightly. A giggle leaves her lips. "It's good to be back," she smiles.
"Good to have you back," Hakoda says to his daughter.
Sokka grins at her. "My sister's back."
"It's true," Katara giggles again.
"Zuko." The word comes as a blessing, sliding around his body, and the sound of her voice makes his knees almost buckle. He turns and sees her there. Her brown hair is loose, down to her waist. The blue furs are almost identical to the ones she used to wear when he still chased her, when Azula chased her, when Katara and Zuko rode Appa with the others. Like the colour of her element.
Her eyelids blink, and her lips turn up in a smile. "Zuko," she repeats and it sounds like home.
Zuko takes a step forward. "We haven't actually truly reunited, have we? As friends."
Katara nods, and brushes a strand of hair out of her face. "I guess we haven't."
"Should we change that?"
"Well, I know I've waited for ages to do this." Katara strides forward in small leaps and springs ocean-coloured arms around his. Her breath is warm on his neck, raising gooseflesh.
Even when he was still with Mai, he wanted to do this.
He places his hands on her waist. "Thank goodness you're a firebender," she smirks against the crook of his chin. Then she lets go, stepping back. "Want to go for a walk? For old time's sake."
"Okay."
Katara takes his hand in hers for warmth, and she's dragging him behind her impatiently.
Past the gates. "We won't be gone long!" she calls behind her.
Katara is stronger than she has been in the weeks that he's seen her. "I think it's the water all around me. I know it is. It's underneath our feet," she explains.
He knows that. And he supposes she's right. "How come you couldn't bend in the mountains if there was water in the air?"
Katara sighs. "You don't understand, Zuko. That's very unsubstantial to waterbenders. And plus. I think the best thing is knowing that the ocean is near. I didn't have that in the temples. I was the furthest thing from the ocean there was. Over a thousand and twenty kilometres."
It's in these moments that he thinks she's the most beautiful. Though still sick, her eyes are alive. This is one of the first signs of resistance to her illness. As if speaking of the devil, she has to cough into her handkerchief. "Don't mind me," she smiles. "It's no secret that I'm going to die. I'm resigned."
Zuko makes a noise in the back of his throat that Katara pretends to ignore. She lets go of his hand and spins with the snow beating against her cheeks.
Katara walks quickly to keep up with his pace. Zuko's so kept up in Katara that he doesn't notice the hole in the ice. Zuko slips through, getting wedged in between the jagged sides. "Fuck!" he snorts.
Smirking, Katara gets to her knees and extends a mitten-free hand. Zuko clasps it with a groan.
He's more shaken than he lets on. He knows that these holes can go on forever. Until he drowns.
"First," Katara says, and he hears ice grinding beneath him. "You'll need to learn that ice is water."
"I know that."
"Therefore a waterbender can move it. Currently, you will not be thrust into the abyss."
"Oh."
"Now use your body heat to melt the ice around you."
"I'll fall."
"No you won't, idiot. I wouldn't be smiling if you were."
Zuko makes his heat rise, wincing at the noises of discomfort coming from Katara. "It's okay," she squeaks, "I can heal."
The ice melts around his body and his legs make contact with the platform keeping him from plummeting into darkness. Katara takes a minute to look at him, her chocolate lips turned upwards, blue eyes blinking down at him. For that minute, he's drowning in her eyes, tossed among rocks and waves. "I'll save you." The soft words come from the real and the imaginary Katara.
Katara stands upwards, her hands in a waterbending stance. Concentrating, Katara raises her arms. The ice rumbles, and he's going up, like he's in an elevator. He collapses onto the ice, dragging himself away from the area of the hole. Katara lets go and the platform plummets.
Zuko stares at the hole until he hears something smack earth. He turns around and sees Katara, her limbs slack. Her head is turned to the side, her breaths coming laboured.
Zuko yells out, scampering to her body, lifting her into his arms. "Katara!" he yells.
Her breath comes in soft puffs of white air. He checks her pulse, all the while remembering what his uncle taught him.
"It's okay," he whispers. "You'll wake up. You'd better." He doesn't notice the sopping clothes he's wearing, too kept up in trying to drill this piece of information into Katara's mind.
One minute she was standing in triumph, watching the man she saved staring at the hole in which he would have disappeared without her help. Now she's lying in blackness, with only the faint voice of Zuko. She registers him pulling her into his arms. It feels nice. Katara sighs.
He yells slightly. Katara wonders if she'll die five days before leaving. She sees a faint shape around her.
It's not black. It's a wasteland of muck and mud and puddles. The sky is the colour of smog, sunless. She feels for the ones who live here day in and day out.
"Katara," a voice says from behind her.
Katara turns quickly. Though it's been years, that voice is as familiar as her brother. "Mum," she whispers. "Am I dead?"
Kya looks like her, except for the softer curve of her cheeks. Her eyes are identical to Katara's own. Katara's throat feels clogged.
"Almost," Kya says.
"I don't want to live here," Katara whispers. She realises that she's fourteen again. Same age as when she was combing the world for Ozai; the Avatar, her future ex-husband at her side.
"You won't," Kya smiles. "Now go. Zuko's getting worried."
"Zuko!" Katara realises, "I didn't think about him! Well I did. Of course I did. But I need to get back to him!"
"That's right, Katara," Kya smiles, brushing her daughter's cheek. "I've got an old friend to escort you."
There's the sound of water parting and Katara turns her head to see Yue, her face graced with a kind smile.
"Yue!" Katara exclaims.
"Katara," Yue nods a greeting and extends her hand. "Come with me." Her voice is melodic, soothing. Katara takes it and shoots a backwards glance at her mother.
Yue leads Katara.
"Mum said I'm going to die soon." Katara says when she turns back.
Yue smiles at Katara.
"Spirits have a different concept of 'soon'. I'm one of the newer ones and the older ones at the same time. I am La and I am Yue. I haven't completely lost it yet."
Katara nods. "But it's still true. I'm going to die from this sickness."
Yue shakes her head. "Your mother and I are doing everything in our power to keep you in that world. I don't think you will die for a while. At least a few years."
Katara stops, smiling at the spirit. "This is my stop."
Yue helps Katara onto an invisible platform before she dissolves into mist.
Katara finally comes to, with a relieved sense of life. She stirs in Zuko's arms, opening blue eyes. She lifts up, touching Zuko's jaw. "Zuko."
The Fire Lord's almost asleep. He wakes with a start. "Katara!" he yells, folding her in his embrace. She smiles against him.
"I thought you'd died!" Zuko grins.
Katara laughs out loud. "I almost did! I walked all the way to the ghost village. Apparently I've got a few years left in me. I still want to go with you, though. For memories' sake."
Zuko almost cries in relief. He's going to see her again. He's not going to have to see the faces of Hakoda and Sokka and Toph and Aang as she's cast off in a coffin-boat.
He almost kisses her. Almost presses pale lips to her brown ones. But she's only just alive.
"Don't speak of this to my father," Katara laughs.
"I won't. Only the thing about you saving me."
"Damn right I did."
Zuko helps her to her feet, a grin plastered on her face. Zuko takes her hands, warming them with his. Katara is laughing and giggling like a child. She twirls over the ice, her dress blossoming out.
Zuko humours her with a dance, twirling her around, pressing her into his chest, her smile almost brushing his jawbone. Her hair kisses his neck, brushing feathersoft fingers along the side.
When they walk through the gates, there's a spring in both of their steps. Katara has healed her wrist, and there's nothing there but a single blister. If anyone asks, all she has to say is that she saved the Fire Lord.
"Katara!"
She turns her head in the direction of her brother. "I'm back!" she grins.
"Don't you have a cold?"
"So? It's not likely I'm going to die. And besides, if Zuko had gone alone he would've been fish meat."
"He wouldn't have gone without you!"
Katara shrugs. "Still valid."
Sokka shoots Zuko a warning glare. Katara seems to sense this and punches Sokka softly in the shoulder.
"Ignore him," Katara chuckles over her shoulder.
Katara can sense Zuko's eyes on the back of her head. It brings a smile to her dark face.
"It's time to go, Katara."
"Okay."
Now Katara's hand is cool in Zuko's palm as they ascend the Fire Nation ship he arrived on. There's a noise behind them. Katara stops; curious to see if it is her father or Sokka saying a last goodbye.
But she sees herself, fourteen, blue dress floating behind her and azure eyes staring up at her soul's keeper. It's Katara's soul, coming up from the ice. Katara raises her free hand, waves a little bit, but the soul is as blind as Toph. She walks straight through Katara.
"What is it?" Zuko asks.
"Nothing," Katara smirks at him.
They are sucked into the hull of the ship, amidst lit lanterns. The dark sharpens Katara's features as he leads her to the deck of the ship. She grins beside him, her lips curling at the edges, and her arms extended, pulling water from the ocean in another 'Hello'.
"Farewell!" she laughs, and the ship takes off for the Earth Kingdom.