To Love A Gilmore Girl

Chapter One - Jealousy

Author - MysteryTeenageLover

Disclaimer - don't own anything...wish I did - I would have introduced Jess in the first episode and cut the whole Logan storyline...etc

Dedication - to a certain person as a thankyou for showing me a picture of Milo Ventimiglia topless

A/N - I don't really know where this is going to go yet, I'm just posting the chapters as I write them. Ideas / feedback / flamethrowing - all welcome. Enjoy!

Looking directly into Rory's baby-blue eyes as he did it, Jess kissed the blonde in front of him. The girl pushed him up against the tree and kissed him harder, her hands touching Jess' chest. Rory ignored the white-hot jealousy coursing through her, and fixed her eyes on Kirk, who was having an extremely loud argument with Lulu on her left. But try as she might, she couldn't keep her gaze away from the very thing she had no desire to look at. Jess had rotated the two of them now, so that Rory could no longer see his face. What she could see, however, was the hands of the blonde girl traveling over Jess' back and down over his hips to grip his butt. Rory felt sickened. She couldn't see where, but the girl's hands had traveled around to Jess' front again, and were doing things that made Jess break away and say,

"Not here…" in her ear.

Pulling her to him again, and kissing her furiously, Jess fell back against the tree, pulling the girl into his chest. Tipping his head so that he could kiss her more deeply, Jess opened his eyes. He stared straight at Rory, unblinking, his mouth busy but his eyes open and focused. Rory couldn't watch any more, so she turned and ran to the cotton candy stand. Finding Dean, she kissed him, passionately, impatiently brushing the remnant of a tear from her eye. But deep down inside, Rory wished it was Jess that she could feel kissing her mouth. She wished that it was Jess' hands that were pulling her into him, and Jess' body that was touching hers.

To Kill A Mockingbird was open on her desk, and her half-finished essay was lying at an angle to her textbook, just the way she liked it. Her favourite pens, the ones her mother teased her mercilessly about, lay in a neat line next to her pile of post-it notes. Her small, neat handwriting covered about half a page, but stopped mid-sentence. Rory sighed, and put her pen down. She couldn't think, she couldn't concentrate. For once, her books couldn't distract her from the fact that she was totally and utterly confused. She wasn't sure about anything any more, except that she was sure that she was confused. Loving, gentle Dean…what was wrong with her? She loved Dean, and wanted to have everything with him. He was always nice, always sweet and tender and considerate of her feelings. Dean knew her, knew her mother and was well-liked by the whole town. He had never done anything to upset her and he told her that he loved her all the time. That didn't explain why she couldn't stop thinking about Jess. Jess…who was brooding and quiet and downright rude to Luke. Whose eyes looking into hers and seemed to see her heart and soul. Who so openly displayed his affection for the skinny blonde from the carnival. Who always carried a book around in his back pocket, and wouldn't admit to being clever if his life depended on it. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what it would be like to kiss him, to hold him. She imagined his lips, warm and sweet, touching hers, his hands pulling her to him and his tongue –

A crash from Lorelai's room brought her to her senses. She shook her head slightly and picked up a pen.

"Sorry…I didn't wake you, did I?"

Dean's head appeared around her door. He was always so considerate. She didn't deserve him.

"No, I was studying. Or trying to…" she trailed off. Her mother had broken her shelves trying to stand on them to get a spider off the ceiling, and Dean was repairing them. At six o'clock in the morning. She should have been asleep, but she couldn't even lie down and close her eyes. Every time she closed her eyes, the same dilemma was before her. And there was no way in the foreseeable future that Rory could figure out what to do. Not a chance.

"What're you reading?" Jess appeared silently behind her usual spot on the bench at the bus stop. She showed him the cover of Gone With The Wind, silently angry at him for making her feel so confused.

"What're you doing?" she asked him, short-temperedly.

"Waiting for my girl," he told her, nonchalant and off-hand. Seething inside, Rory turned a page, staring at the words but not seeing them. It was all she could do to stop herself from jumping up and slapping his across the face, hard, and telling him exactly what she thought of him. She had kissed him, in her blue dress, down by the bridge at the wedding. And then she had walked away. And he hadn't done a thing about it, except to pick up a blonde at the next town event. He was making her jealous and he knew it, she thought, trying to take in the words on the page and failing. Her internal anger was interrupted by the sound of Jess greeting a girl behind the bench. She forced herself to look straight down at the book. The sound of more kissing began behind her, and despite herself, Rory turned her head. Jess was once more staring straight into her eyes over the girl's shoulder. Slamming her book shut and causing the two to break apart behind her, she ran for the bus, not letting Jess see the tears in her eyes, or the way the hand holding the book shook as she handed over her ticket.

"Hey," Dean greeted her, kissing her quickly as soon as she got off the bus in the afternoon. Holding his hand gratefully, he walked her into town, stopping at Luke's for coffee.

"What do you want to do?" he asked her, touching her cheek with his lips briefly.

"Go sit in the gazebo? Maybe we can…talk?" she asked. Next to him on the bench a few minutes later, Rory was glad to have something to take her mind off Jess. That something was Dean's lips, warm and familiar at her mouth. His hands never stopped moving, touching her shoulders, back, hips, waist and then back up to hold her face gently as their mouths moved together.

"So…you didn't really want to talk, did you?" Dean asked, breaking away just enough to ask the question.

"Not really," Rory told him, a slight smile at her lips as Dean moved closer again. She loved the way that he knew what she loved; the exact spot on her neck that made her moan, the right place to put his hands to make her smile and the right way to kiss the corners of her mouth that made her eyes flutter closed. Sweet, caring Dean…how could she have thought that what Jess had to offer her could be better than this?"