Ok, here goes. With #Tuckson being canon and such a sweet finale ending, posting this makes me a little anxious. Thanks to bm89 for the consultation work! Here goes…hope it doesn't disappoint.
Paris: The first days
Ed, as usual, awoke early and surreptitiously slid out of bed so as to not wake Olivia. He did pause for a few seconds to gaze down at her, and his body and ego swelled with satisfaction. She slept peacefully ensconced in the covers, and the corners of her mouth turned up just a little as if she were in the middle of the most pleasant dream. This was their second full day in Paris, and already, she looked refreshed. Her face had come back to life, the rosy hue returned to her cheeks, and Ed was sure, from the moment they took their seats on the plane, he'd seen that unrestrained, joyful Benson smile more than he'd seen it in all the years he'd known her.
Resisting the urge to climb back into bed and wrap his arms around her, he instead went to the suite's parlor where Noah was camped out on the sofa bed. He was awake, but just barely with his eyes half-open and his arms clutching Bernie. Ed booked a late night flight so Noah's sleep wasn't too disrupted, and, of the three of them, the little boy was the least affected by jet lag. He slept most of the flight, and when he wasn't snoozing he was easily occupied by the on-board movies and video games. When Tucker told Cole about the trip, the sergeant balked at their decision to take Noah without the assistance of a babysitter, and even Olivia wondered if they should at least bring Lucy; however, Ed insisted the three of them go on their own. He didn't want any intrusions. So far, Noah was perfect, and the family-friendly hotel offered babysitting which they would probably take advantage of for at least one evening.
Ed started coffee then opened the balcony doors to let in the cool morning air. Outside, the perfectly blue sky was interrupted only sporadically by a few non-threatening cumulus clouds. The balcony was large enough for a café table and three chairs, as well as two small chaise lounges, and the view was spectacular—Parisian rooftops, cathedral spires, and, in the distance, the Eiffel Tower. Ed couldn't believe his luck; the trip was slightly last-minute and room selection was limited. He wasn't expecting something this impressive.
"Ed?" Noah's voice was strained as he struggled to extract himself from the plush mattress.
Tucker picked him up, kissed his cheek, and whispered, "Good morning, bud."
Still groggy, Noah buried his face in the older man's neck and mumbled something that sounded like "good morning." Ed grabbed the child-sized slippers emblazoned with the hotel's crest and slipped them on Noah's bare feet. "Let's go out and look at the breakfast menu while mommy's still sleeping," he said to Noah who assented by wrapping his arms more tightly around Ed's neck. They sat in one of the lounges and perused the room service menu. Noah pointed to almost every brightly colored picture—fruit platters, pastries, croissants, crepes, traditional American-style eggs and toast, elaborately garnished juices and coffees, and a ridiculously large Belgian waffle with whipped cream and strawberries.
"I want that," Noah said, suddenly wide awake.
"We'll check with mommy." Olivia wasn't too picky about what Noah ate, but he wasn't sure she would go for a spare-tire-sized waffle.
"After breakfast, we're going to a place with a playground that has a train you can climb in. And we'll sail a boat in the pond."
"I ride on the train?"
"No, you don't ride on it. You can just pretend to drive it. We'll ride on the big train later this week."
Noah climbed up into a standing position and started pointing at various spots in the landscape.
"What's that?"
"A church."
"What's that?"
"Looks like apartments, like where we live in New York."
"What's that?"
"The Eiffel Tower."
"Tower?
"Yep, tomorrow night we'll go to the top." Ed had been advised to purchase advance tickets to certain attractions like the tower and the Louvre. They were also going on two day trips, one to Versailles and the other to Disneyland Paris; otherwise, they planned to meander around the city, hitting the sights on their list at a leisurely pace. The last thing Ed wanted was to further burden Olivia with the exhaustion of packing too much sightseeing into each day.
"Coffee's ready." Olivia, wrapped in a white terry robe, joined them on the balcony. She handed one cup to Ed and took a seat on the other lounge. She had swept her hair up into a messy ponytail and her face looked freshly washed. She gazed at the cityscape, and the sight of her in profile was too much for Ed.
He tugged at her sleeve, "C'mere."
She smiled at him and leaned over for a kiss. She opened her eyes while their lips were still locked and softly said, "Hi, there."
He lingered close to her, breathing in the scent of the soap she'd used. It was something scented with orange, or maybe lemon, but not overpowering, subtle, and he didn't want her to leave his side. "Come over here with me."
She snuggled next to him, on her side, and rested her head on his chest. Noah was still peering through the slats and he sporadically narrated the movements of the people below.
"Ed, this place…it's so…extravagant. It's almost too much."
It was extravagant, but it wasn't too much. Ed wanted the trip to go off without a hitch, and he knew they needed a home base that was comfortable, since, with Noah, they would have to have frequent breaks throughout the day. "You deserve it," he said, "And, besides, I don't know about you, but I haven't had a real vacation in years."
"Me neither."
"So, let's be extravagant."
"Ok." Olivia kissed his cheek. "They even put special shampoo and soaps in the bathroom for Noah—and the slippers and the robe. How did they know we were bringing a boy?"
"They emailed me."
"Wow." She looked into his eyes and kissed him again, "Thank you. For everything."
"You're welcome." He brushed back a few loose strands and kissed her forehead. Ed took care of all travel arrangements in order to leave Olivia completely relaxed and unbothered by logistics. They made their "to do" list together with the help of various websites and travel books, but other than that, Ed booked the flight and hotel, got the advance tickets, made sure they had transportation from the airport to the hotel, and he even arranged for private cars to take them on their two day trips. Olivia initially objected, but Ed held firm. "I'm doing this, Liv," he told her, "Just pack the bags."
Noah brought the breakfast menu to Olivia. "Waffle, mommy?"
Ed laughed a little as Noah shoved the laminated page in her face. "I was waiting for you to get up before we ordered."
"Speaking of over the top," Olivia muttered good-naturedly. "But…why not? We're going big, right?"
"Right," Ed said and then tickled Noah's belly, "Right, No?"
"Right!" He collapsed in giggles on Ed's other side before being hoisted onto his chest. There they remained for several minutes before calling in the breakfast order—the three of them piled on the chaise, Ed practically buried by the other two, the city streets slowly coming to life below them, and when Ed and Olivia looked at one another, it was with the understanding that there was nowhere else in the world they would rather be.
…..
As soon as they entered Luxembourg Gardens, Noah immediately caught sight of the playground. It was a massive structure with areas cordoned off by age. For older kids there were ropes courses, trampolines, steep slides, and intricate climbing structures. The little ones could busy themselves on smaller slides, mini seesaws, and, of course, the wooden train. Although he was anxious to get in, once Ed paid the fee and they were inside the gates, Noah froze, unsure where to go first.
"We'll follow you, sweet boy," Olivia encouraged.
Ed smiled down at him and then nudged Olivia, "He's a little overwhelmed."
"I know," she replied, "I thought DeWitt Clinton had a nice playground, but this…this is amazing."
Noah first made his way over to the zip line and gawked as bigger kids fearlessly jumped off the platform and took off in the figure eight pattern. Noah jumped up and down with delight. "Whoa!" He exclaimed and looked hopefully up at Olivia.
"No, sorry, this one's for big kids, sweetheart. There are other swings, though, over there."
Ed and Olivia took turns pushing Noah on the swings while the other snapped photos. After swinging, Noah climbed in and out of each wooden train car, shared a seesaw with another boy, and took several runs down the toddler slides. At one point Ed had to disentangle him from a rope bridge, but Noah was giggling uncontrollably the entire time, which made Ed crack up as he threaded his legs out of the ropes and onto the slatted part of the bridge. Olivia snapped away until Noah was finally freed and propelled himself down the tunnel slide.
After a short-lived mini-tantrum and some significant cajoling, the three of them left the playground hand-in-hand and followed the winding paths towards the pond and the palace. They stopped to take photos in front of statues and the impeccably manicured flowers, and then Ed and Olivia let Noah wrestle himself away from them to run ahead on the lush green lawn. Some older kids were playing soccer nearby and he was content for a while to watch until several kites appeared in the sky overhead and he ran back and forth, tracing their flight. Winded and thirsty, he walked over to the nearby bench where Olivia and Ed were sitting.
"A lot going on, huh, bud?"
Noah pointed to the sky, "What's that?"
"Kites."
"Kites," he repeated, liking the sound of the word. "Kites," he said again.
"We'll get you one," Ed promised.
Olivia glanced at him, fascinated by how willingly her boyfriend incorporated Noah into the Parisian experience. Every time something previously unseen fascinated Noah, Ed was quick to either buy it or guarantee he would procure it in the future. Noah sipped on a water bottle and lay with his head in Olivia's lap and his legs on Ed so he could easily take in the entirety of the kite-filled sky.
"Which one do you like best?" Olivia asked.
"Red one," he answered.
"It's beautiful here," Olivia said as she took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet spring air.
Ed put his arm around her shoulders, "It dates from the sixteen hundreds. At least a hundred statues—French queens and famous women, among others of course. And we have to see the Medici Fountain before we leave. Oh, and somewhere," he fumbled for the map, "there's the original prototype for the Statue of Liberty."
Olivia, fascinated by his background knowledge, grinned at Ed.
"What?" He asked innocently.
"How do you know all this?"
"I read it in the book on the plane."
"Wow. Impressive."
She really did sound impressed, so Ed went on, "The palace is modeled after one in Florence, because Marie Medici, who commissioned it, was from there. The same thing with the fountain. Interesting, these royal families, intermarrying like that, consolidating power."
"You have to wonder if they really loved each other," Olivia mused.
"I can't imagine," Ed fidgeted a little, a tad nervous, "things happening in reverse like that, arranged marriages, the love part comes later...or never."
"What a terrible way to live…royal children used as pawns, really."
"And to have to…try and manufacture emotions that aren't there."
Careful not to knock Noah to the ground, Olivia moved closer to Ed, took his face in her hands, and kissed him. "We certainly don't have that problem," she said sweetly, staring into his baby blue eyes. "I love you more every day."
"Me too," he whispered and kissed her back, holding her to him for longer and more tightly so that Noah was getting awkwardly folded between them.
"Ahhh! Mommy! Ed!" Noah squirmed in their laps, trying to get loose.
"Sorry baby boy!"
Ed wiped his lips with his fingers and addressed Noah. "You ready to go to the sailboats?"
"Uh-huh."
Ed deftly put the boy on his shoulders. "Maybe we'll get the one with the pirate flag, huh?"
"Yeah! Pirate ship!"
"How do you know—" Olivia stopped herself, realizing she knew the answer to the question of how Ed knew there was a pirate ship available.
He read the book on the plane.
She slid an arm around Ed's waist and leaned into him as they made their way to the pond where dozens of children and their families were hunched over the edge guiding handmade wooden sailboats across the water.
….
After leaving the gardens, Ed-the-tour-guide led the way to Rue Mouffetard, part of which was a cobblestone street dating all the way back to Ancient Rome. They sampled cheese, cakes, and ice cream from the variety of shops and then settled in at an outdoor café for wine and a croque monsieur, the classic French hot ham and cheese sandwich. Midway through their meal, an elderly couple who had just finished their own lunch stopped briefly and smiled down at them.
"Beautiful Family," the man said in heavily accented English. "Just beautiful."
Ed smiled and nodded, and Olivia responded with a raspy, "Merci," because the compliment nearly brought her to tears.
Noah, mimicking his mom, unknowingly put her over the emotional edge after he voiced his own "Merci." As the older couple ambled away, Olivia dabbed at her eyes with the cloth napkin.
Ed reached over and squeezed her leg just above the knee. "You ok?"
"Of course," she pulled herself together quickly and put the napkin back in her lap, "that was just…so…nice."
"It was." Ed leaned over and kissed her cheek. "And, Noah, good French, bud! Or, Bon Francais?" He looked at Olivia for approval since she was more competent in the language than he was.
"Trés bien," she replied.
"And, with that, I think I've exhausted my French vocabulary," Ed sighed resolutely, "But…Noah…don't kids pick up languages more quickly than anyone?"
"They do. When it's time to put him in pre-K, we should look for a program that also has Spanish or French." Olivia had collected herself and was back to normal now. Her voice steadied and she reclined against the backrest, contentedly finishing her wine and people watching.
Ed, on the other hand, was analyzing what she just said.
We should get him into a program that offers Spanish or French.
We?
What was that? A slip? Or not?
Noah's pre-K days were two years away. Did that "we" indicate she was expecting something more permanent? Did she already suspect something was up? Had she somehow seen it?
He took two simultaneous sips of wine to occupy himself as he thought and then finished the final piece of his sandwich. Across from him, Noah was playing with the Paris police car replica they'd purchased along the way. Olivia was still placidly taking in the scenery.
It was probably…he didn't know what it was, but he was afraid to ask. Now wasn't the time, so he let it go.
"Back to the hotel for a bit and then Arc du Triomphe?" He suggested, hoping there was no anxiety in his voice.
Olivia smiled at him, "Sounds like a plan."
Ed examined the check and placed some euros on the table, securing them with a water glass. Noah was asking to be picked up, so he hoisted him on his shoulders again, soaking up the comfort of the little hands gripping the sides of his head. The trio made a few turns to get to a main street and caught a taxi back to the hotel.
…
Noah was snoozing by the time they entered the suite, so Ed put him in the oversized armchair and covered him with a blanket. Olivia stowed their shopping bags in the bedroom and was emerging from the bathroom when Ed came in, sliding the pocket door closed behind him.
"He's out." The report sounded more like, It's time for us to have some alone time.
Olivia smiled slyly, "He'll sleep for a while. We had a busy morning."
"Yeah, so…"
She was in his arms in an instant, and, as usual, feeling the strength of his embrace, she melted into him. In intimate moments like this, not only did she feel safe, any negative thoughts vacated her mind and instead it filled with a type of euphoria previously unfamiliar to her. Any semblance of tension left her body, and she was almost limp in his arms.
Ed felt this physiological change. He was used to it, and he relished knowing his body could cause complete relaxation in hers. As he kissed her deeply, she maneuvered her hands under his shirt and massaged her fingers into his back, wanting him closer, requesting more of him. Their clothes ended up in one messy heap and they fell onto the bed, tenderly making love, as the late afternoon Parisian breeze wafted in from the open window.
Afterwards, sated, they lay facing one another, propped on their elbows and covered by a single sheet, trading kisses and sweet chatter.
"Thank you for bringing us here," Olivia rasped, still trying to breathe normally.
Ed played with her hair and then ran his thumb over her lips, "Are you happy?"
"I feel like I felt…the day Noah's adoption was final. Almost like I'm floating."
"Good."
"This is exactly what I needed."
"And we're just getting started," he pointed out.
"You worked so hard to make this perfect," Olivia complimented him, "I love you, Ed."
"You deserve it. This year…" Ed hesitated, not wanting to bring any dark thoughts into the moment, "I told you before, I don't know how you got through it…you're so strong…it's remarkable."
Olivia swallowed, "I had to be strong for Noah. But…you being there for me…I couldn't have dealt with everything without you there."
"You were there for me, too," Ed thought about the church scandal and nearly being forced into early retirement, "you believed me when no one else did."
"They don't know you like I do. You're the person I trust most in the world."
Ed closed his eyes. A statement like that coming from Olivia was almost too precious to be real. "I trust you…and I love you, Liv, so much, this, the three of us…I feel like I have this whole new life."
"Me too."
Ed kissed her and was almost back on top of her when he heard something and paused. "Speaking of the three of us. I think someone's awake."
Olivia checked the time. "Why don't we take him swimming? You wanted to be at the top of the Arc at sunset, right? We have a couple hours."
"Ok."
"Mommy?"
At the sound of Noah's sleepy voice, Olivia jumped out of bed and pulled on the terry robe. "Are you getting up?" She asked Ed who was flat on his back with his arms clasped behind his head.
"Yeah, yeah…I'm just…I like watching you move."
She cast her eyes down bashfully. "Captain, are you flirting with me?" She teased.
"Maybe a little."
She rolled her eyes good-naturedly at him and opened the pocket door. From his vantage point, Ed could see her lift Noah from the chair and hold him close. Olivia must have whispered to him that they were going swimming, because the little boy's face lit up and Ed heard him say something along the lines of, "I jump in!"
…..
That night, after they'd done some evening sightseeing, eaten dinner, and put Noah to bed, Ed and Olivia cuddled together on the balcony and flipped through the pictures they'd taken over the past three days.
There were the selfies they'd taken on the airplane—some blurry and unusable and some hilarious, like the ones where Noah was hopelessly wedged between Ed and Olivia as they tried to squeeze all three faces in the frame.
Next there were the ones taken at baggage claim. These were mostly of Noah running around and climbing on their luggage.
Then came the hotel. Olivia smiled to herself as she remembered their collective reaction to the elegance of their temporary digs. She knew Ed had reserved a suite, but she had no idea it was at one of Paris' most elegant hotels. From the moment they entered the lobby, they were attended to by chivalrous bell boys and the most polite concierge clerks who offered to do anything and everything to make their stay enjoyable and memorable. The ladies cooed over Noah, especially when he returned their "Bonjours." The room was complete with a child-sized robe, sleeping shirt, and slippers, coloring books and crayons, and Bulgari Baby toiletries. Olivia photographed it all as it had been laid out for them.
Ed set the timer on the camera, and they took photos on the sofa and on the balcony. They laughed at the outtakes—silly, contorted faces, one of them trying to get Noah to look at the camera, caught in mid-laughter or mid-smile, but there were some keepers among them. It would be tough to decide on which photos to frame and which to keep digitally stored.
Notre Dame Cathedral was one of the first places they visited, and Ed took care to meticulously document the architecture, statues, and gargoyles. The three of them looked like themselves in miniature in front of the colossal medieval structure; Olivia's favorite was a picture of her holding Noah, and instead of looking forward, his neck was craned upward, mesmerized by the towering façade.
There were at least fifty shots of Noah at the Luxembourg Gardens playground, and Ed even snapped one of Noah whining and trying to wiggle out of Olivia's grasp after they announced it was time to move on.
"Nice," she remarked.
"Yeah, frame that one for sure," he joked.
"If that's the worst fit we have on the trip, I'll take it," Olivia said.
"And that was kind of our fault," Ed admitted, "What kid would want to leave that playground?"
"Right." Olivia continued flipping until she got to one with Noah and Ed and the sailboats. Ed's hand steadied Noah as he reached over into the pond with a large stick the children used to redirect the boats away from the edge. All around the pond and fountain, kids chased their boats, sticks in hand, in an effort to keep them sailing. "Your face here…" she mused, not having intended to say the words aloud.
Ed zoomed in. "What about it?"
Olivia felt herself choking up yet again, "So much…affection."
"I love his mother and him. Equally."
After a break for a glass of wine and a few kisses, they resumed the slide show. Still on the set from the gardens, Olivia had trouble keeping her eyes dry as she saw the three of them posed so comfortably by the fountain. In one, Olivia and Ed sat on the edge with Noah, smiling broadly, standing in front of them, one elbow on Ed's knee and the other on Olivia's with the Pirate ship by his side. We look so…together, she thought. It was shortly after that moment when the elderly couple complimented their beautiful family at the café.
Maybe this was something more permanent.
"Where are the ones from the pool?" Ed asked.
"On my phone. Here," Olivia reached over and grabbed her iPhone. Most of the shots were of the boys—Ed catching Noah after he leapt from the edge and Ed wading around with Noah in his arms. There was also one of the three of them sitting together in the hot tub, looking cheerful, water beading on their shoulders.
The final photos were taken atop the Arc du Triomphe. Ed wanted to arrive as the sun was setting so they could get the best of both day and night views, and they finished climbing the stairs just in time. The aerial views were amazing—the Eiffel Tower, the broad, tree-lined avenues radiating from the Arc's center, the Seine, and the lit bridges.
"This one's my favorite, so far," Ed said softly, pausing to zoom in on another photo of them taken by a fellow tourist who snapped several shots in succession. In this one, which the photographer probably considered a throwaway, Olivia held Noah and they both gazed up at Ed, smiling, as he looked down proudly at them. It was taken just before they descended, so, in the distance, the city was lit up, slightly blurred, but their jubilant faces were in perfect focus.
"That one I really want in a frame," Olivia said.
"Yeah, me too."
Maybe it was the wine, but she felt a surge of confidence, "Do you think we need two?"
Uh-oh. The question stymied Ed, so he skirted it, "Well, if I put it in my new office, yeah, we might need two."
"So content," Olivia observed, "Happy…what a great picture." Then she thought about the new office. Ed was leaving IAB. "Do you get offices at Hostage Negotiation?"
"A Captain will," he said confidently.
"You start when we get back?"
"Yep." Ed had vowed not to talk about the NYPD on vacation, but he did sort of start it by the office remark.
Olivia put the Nikon on the table and reached for Ed's hand, interlacing her fingers with his. "What you told me, about obsessing over cops lying to you…that's the whole reason you're leaving?"
"No, that's, I guess, the secondary reason," he said, "Being at IAB and you being at SVU, I don't want there to be so many conflicts of interest that One PP makes one of us transfer. So I made the decision to go the department of my choice rather than have the commissioner choose for me. And I can't imagine you in another command, so…" he trailed off.
His generosity and consideration overwhelmed her and she thanked him for what seemed like the hundredth time since they'd landed at Charles de Gaulle.
"All these years…our jobs…they kept us apart," Ed spoke softly, almost hesitantly, afraid of saying the wrong thing, "And then I felt so bad when you got dragged into the whole thing with Eugene. That's not going to happen again. Ever. I know it's unrealistic…to think everything will always be perfect…but I feel like…one potential problem is gone now."
"It is. And, you never know," Olivia said brightly, "This could always be perfect."
"I think, after this year, we can handle anything."
"Me too."
That clinched it for Ed. He was asking her. On this trip. The only question now was…when?
…..
#Tuckson # TucksoNoah
Two more installments to come. I'm on vacation for a week starting Tuesday, but, I promise, they're on their way!