Disclaimer: Transformers doesn't belong to me.


The Meaning of Christ-mas

The base was quiet. Most of its occupants had powered down hours ago, recharging while two remained up inside the base while another two were out on patrol. The cool cloudless night made it easy. There was nowhere to hide in the moons full brightness and it meant that any incoming decepticons were going to be much easier to spot should they foolishly attempt something.

Inside the control room Teletraan I illuminated the darkness, its twinkling lights putting on a dazzlingly display. The soft sound of metal fingers tapping at the keyboard could be heard but soon it ceased and there was a pause before a long, drawn out puff of oxygen replaced it.

Perceptor leaned back in the large, black metal chair and rubbed his optics gingerly with two red digits. He still had four reports to finish and Prowl ordered for them to be on his desk by morning. Usually keeping up with his work had never been a problem but lately his interests had been taking over. They've been on Earth for five years and he still barely knew anything about its inhabitants. It made him feel somewhat guilty.

It seemed tonight was no different. His eagerness to learn more about this planet was overtaking and he leaned over the keyboard again, more than willing to give in. A fresh white page opened, brightening the room several shades and the light blue optics wandered over the colourful letters of the search engines name that stared back. A single metal finger tapped against the keyboard, wondering what he should look up first.

When his processor was made up, his fingers moved swiftly, typing in Chr. Automatic options appeared underneath: Christmas, chrome, Christian Louboutin and chrisco. The definition of only one was known; chrome, the topic he was after but he stopped short of clicking it and scrolled down to the first entry and clicked.

Pages jumped out at him, none of it explaining Christmas. There was a Wikipedia, something about the North Pole, X-mas, games and traditions as well as images. A confused look came over his faceplate as he continued searching for something that explained what the word meant. During the next ten minutes, he did nothing else.

At midnight, the screen changed as Teletraan I chimed and showed him the time in a flashing message. It returned back to normal in seconds and Perceptor finely tuned his audio receptors, listening for it. As though on cue, he heard it; footsteps, coming towards him. He dimmed his sensors and waited patiently, knowing it wouldn't take long.

And it didn't. The footsteps got louder and before long, a black and white bot with a blue visor across his optics swagged in. It was the same every hour. He would pass, doing the rounds, checking the inside of the base to make sure everything really was all right.

"Jazz," said Perceptor, turning to face the other by swivelling around in his chair.

"What's up, buddy?" asked Jazz, a small smile showing. "Footsteps too loud?"

"No, nothing like that," dismissed the scientist, not wanting to be reminded of a previous incident. "You're interested in human culture. What do you know about Christ-mas?"

"My interest is mostly in human music but it's not a word I recognise," said Jazz after a quick moment's thought. "Where'd you come across it?"

"On the world wide web," answered Perceptor, turning back to face the screen. "I was attempting to look up chrome to see what use humans have for it but on an automatic list that popped up, one word was Christ-mas."

The many options on the word Christmas still stared at him but he pushed the frustration down, determined to find out what was so popular about this word. For a small amount of time, he allowed himself to stare at it, his attention so firmly focused that he didn't noticed Jazz coming up beside him, leaning over slightly to peer curiously at the screen.

The two comrades both stared at the screen, silence falling over the room. It seemed that the word had consumed them both. Neither of them heard the arrival of someone coming through the front of the base, not even when he entered the room, sighing and clicking his glossa.

"Just what are you two doing?" grumbled Ratchet, approaching.

"Hmmm?" hummed Jazz distractedly, not hearing a word.

"Prime will toss both your sorry afts into solitary confinement if he finds out you're not doing your jobs," barked Ratchet.

"He'll only find out if you open your big mouth and tell him," replied Jazz, the snide undertone not going unnoticed.

"What do you know of Christ-mas, Ratchet?" asked Perceptor, ignoring both of their comments.

"What?" snapped Ratchet. "It's not even a word!"

"Yes, it is," insisted Perceptor, pointing at the screen. "It's a human word."

"Eh?" mumbled Ratchet, turning to look at the screen along with the other two.

The room turned silent again as the three pairs of optics stared at Teletraan I's monitor, the word entrancing all of them. It wasn't long before another joined them, the light of the monitor hitting the yellow bot's armour with intensity, making it appear brighter than usual.

"Ratch, you left your post!" Sunstreaker called out.

The medic didn't turn around and neither did the other two.

"Hey!" shouted Sunstreaker, attempting to gain their attention.

It didn't work. The yellow Lamborghini went quiet as he looked at the behaviour of the others. A brief frown flashed across his faceplate before a mischievous smile replaced it. Sunstreaker clasped his hands behind his back and walked across the back of the room to the other side.

"Perceptor is a bit-brain…"

Sunstreaker crept to the other side of the room without a sound.

"Jazz is Prowler's little glitch…"

Sunstreaker snuck up behind all of them, the next words a whisper.

"Ratchet is a burnout…"

Sunstreaker moved in a little closer, his chest plating grating against one of Jazz's door panels by the barest of touches.

"Perceptor-"

"Knock it off, Sunstreaker," growled Ratchet, throwing the warrior a dirty look. "What do you know of human traditions?"

Sunstreaker snorted disdainfully. "Squishy traditions? Who gives a frag! Come on, Ratch. Let's get back out on patrol or I'll tell Prowl you're slacking in your duties."

"You wouldn't dare," bit Ratchet.

"Why not?" enquired Sunstreaker cheekily, nearing the exit.

"I'll inform Prowl on who was responsible for switching the security camera cables around so it recorded everything backwards," said Ratchet, catching up with the twin.

"What makes you think I had anything to do with that?"

"It has yours and Sideswipe's stench all over it," answered Ratchet. "Besides, you were seen."

Sunstreaker came to a sudden halt in the doorway, his optics wide and focused on the retreating form of the medic. "How?"

But he got no reply.

"Ratch… Ratchet?"

Finally, Sunstreaker forced his legs to work and followed the medic back outside and on patrol, leaving Jazz and Perceptor in quiet sniggers. The two remaining autobots went back to the screen, still wanting some sort of definition.

It was almost an hour before one of them moved. "I don't know, Perceptor," said Jazz, standing tall and stretching out. "Ask Bumblebee when he gets up. He spends all of his free time with humans, he should know."

"Hmm…" hummed Perceptor.

The scientist heard Jazz go back to his rounds but he didn't take his optics off the monitor. They narrowed as he scrolled down the page. He would work this out, no matter how long it took. There had to be an answer, he was just missing it.


It was almost nine in the morning, Earth time before the other autobots began emerging from their private quarters, refreshed and recharged. In a hallway that only contained a few doors stood Perceptor, optics focused on the one in the middle. The one to the right, beside the adjoining hallway was already opened and the occupant gone but the other two were still closed, sending signals of annoyance along the scientists' circuits.

When his long ended patience ran out, he banged on the door loudly four times, hoping he was heard. "Come on, Bumblebee," he called. "Just about everyone is out and onto their duties. You're falling behind."

The action and accompanied words got just the reaction he was hoping for. It didn't take the youngest of them long to press the release button for the door and face him. Bumblebee's optics were only half open and he appeared worse for wear. A look of concern passed over Perceptor but it was soon replaced with a look of annoyance as the scout gave a human yawn and stretched up as tall as he could. Perceptor stifled a snicker. Even with a big stretch, he couldn't reach his height.

"Why are you tired?" asked Perceptor, moving along. "You were one of the first to retire for the night."

"I know," acknowledge Bumblebee. "But Spike came around, Carly too and we played a game they have called Twister. Strange game but loads of fun."

A furtive smile tugged at Perceptor's lips as he moved forward and placed an arm around the scouts' shoulders, leading him from the doorway and towards the control room. Bumblebee looked beside him, at the scientists face but said nothing, allowing himself to be taken elsewhere, a look of worry painting his features. The look didn't go unnoticed and Perceptor patted Bumblebee's arm comfortingly.

"Relax, little progeny," soothed Perceptor. "I just have a few questions for you that you just might know the answers to."


"You're lying, Bumblebee."

The scout looked around indignantly, an expression of perplexity on his faceplate. The control room was filled with all the autobots on duty for the day, minus their leader. The news on what Perceptor had been researching and the human word he'd come across had spread throughout the base. They'd asked him what it meant but all he could do was shrug and say he didn't know. The disbelieving glances and exclamations came instantly.

"I'm not lying!" insisted Bumblebee for the third time, voice rising with each word. "I don't know everything about humans."

"You spend enough time with them," muttered Sunstreaker disapprovingly under his breath.

"I don't know what Christ-mas is!"

"All right, all right," interjected Ironhide. "Back off all of you. If Bee says he doesn't know then he doesn't know. Kid, why don't you fetch Spike and he can tell us about the word himself."

There was a pause as everyone calmed and listened to Ironhide's words. Bumblebee took in a rush of oxygen, using it to cool his heating body a little quicker. The scout nodded and transformed, leaving everyone behind in a soft kick of dust.


Traces of human civilisation came into view after an hour of straight driving and instantly, the signs were recognised and he followed the known streets to Spike's address. The familiar street was quiet, only a couple of children played in a front yard while the father washed the car. At Spike's house, there were no signs of activity; the garage door was shut, the bins still sitting on the curb from a couple nights ago and the curtains were drawn closed.

Bumblebee parked into the driveway, ignoring the crunches of leaves beneath his tires and he blared the horn, hoping it was loud enough to be heard. Only the sounds of the birds chirping and the human children playing a few blocks down could be heard. Bumblebee rolled forward a little, stopping just before hitting the garage door and blared the horn again, a little louder this time.

It was a few minutes before the front door open, the form of Chip appearing in the doorway, his hands stilling on the wheelchair to make himself come to a light stop. Without hesitation, Bumblebee transformed and approached, bending down closer to eye level when reaching the crippled human.

"Hey, Chip!" he greeted, smiling. "Is Spike around?"

"You just missed him," replied Chip, smiling back. "He and Carly said they were going to meet some friends down at the cinema. You can still catch them, won't take you long."

"Thanks," said Bumblebee. "We're looking to learn about Christ-mas, would you like to come along?"

"Oh, I see," giggled Chip. "I would love to but I'm waiting for my mother but Spike knows all about it, so does Carly. I'm sure they won't mind helping you."

"Thanks again," said Bumblebee, transforming back into the small, yellow beetle and driving away towards the cinema complex.

The inner city was much different than the small neighbourhood he just left. Tall buildings loomed overhead and the number of trees were minimal. The cinema soon came into view but it was unnecessary to drive all the way there as a familiar red Mustang came into view, two heads visible at the front. Bumblebee accelerated and went around, crossing the centre line and barely missing an oncoming car.

The Volkswagen beetle braked hard and skidded against the road, stopping in front of the red Mustang that skidded to a halt, the tyres screeching in protest. Horns blared behind them as all the other cars braked but for the moment they were ignored. The two humans in the Mustang jumped from the car and rushed towards the yellow beetle.

"Bumblebee!?" exclaimed Spike. "What are you doing?"

"Hop in, both of you," said Bumblebee, opening the passenger side door.

"Whoa, wait," said Spike, holding up a hand. "Where's the fire?"

"There's no fire," said Bumblebee simply. "We've got a few questions back at base and we need a human to answer them. Come on."

"All right…" said Spike, uncertainly. "Carly will follow," he added loud enough for his girlfriend to hear.

Spike hopped into the passenger seat and Bumblebee took off, remembering to go a little slower than usual so the female human could keep up without the risk of killing herself. The journey was mostly silent, with Spike glancing behind him every so often to make sure Carly was still there, offering her a small shrug on the first one to show he had no idea what it was about either.


The young, yellow scout skidded through the entrance of the Autobot base, racing down a few corridors and passing an irate Prowl who instantly chased them. Red and blue lights flashed, bouncing off the walls as Bumblebee ignored his superiors attempts to stop him. He had left and gotten what he came for and him and the rest of his comrades were about to get the answers they sought.

They sped into the training area where Bumblebee finally stopped, his tyres skidding against the floor, leaving faint marks. In the passenger seat, Spike held on for dear life and he stumbled out as soon as the door opened. He turned in time to watch the scout transform back into robot form. Spike exhaled sharply and ran a hand through his already messy brown hair, making it worse.

"What's the emergency?" he asked, clearly flustered.

"There is no emergency," assured Ironhide.

"There's about to be," said Prowl, storming into the room.

"Easy, Prowl," said Jazz, taking up most of the space between Prowl and Bumblebee. "No one was hurt. How about we let it go and let Spike tell us a story, eh?"

"A story?" questioned Prowl, hardly believing what he just heard. "That sounds-"

"Like a good idea."

The training area instantly turned silent at the new voice and presence that had joined them. Optimus Prime stood in the doorway, his frame blocking most of the light behind him. He looked among his subordinates once before entering the room completely and taking a seat beside Mirage who greeted his leader silently.

"You were going to tell a story, Spike?" enquired Optimus, sounding genuinely curious.

"Yes," said Spike. Suddenly, he felt awkward as every pair of optics in the room fell on him. As though knowing the story was about to start, Carly walked in and settled on the floor with Bumblebee. "Well, Christmas, not Christ-mas, is a human tradition. It happens one day a year, on the same date. People put up trees in their living rooms and place presents underneath. And on Christmas day people open their presents. There are also Christmas carols and reindeer and a big fat man who wears a red suit."

Four questions shot at Spike from four different bots and he wasn't sure where to start first. Carly giggled as the questions came, finding each one amusing.

"What are presents?" asked Moonracer.

"What are carols?" asked Blurr.

"What are reindeer?" asked Wheeljack, curiously.

"Why would a guy wear a red suit?" asked Sideswipe, ignoring his brother's sniggers.

As though wanting to be supportive, Carly got up and stood beside her boyfriend, taking his hand as she noticed he was becoming more and more flustered.

"A present is something you give to someone else and you wrap it, so it's a surprise," said Carly, answering one question at a time, in the order they were given. "Carols are songs that you sing and each one has specifics lyrics that are related to the holiday. Reindeer are animals that pull the sleigh that Santa, the big guy in a red suit, travels in to deliver presents. And a sleigh is a kind of transport."

There was silence again as each of the transformers thought about the new information they had been given. Spike and Carly exchanged bemused expressions, both of them not looking forward to the barrage of questions that were likely to come from the explanations. But nothing came as the silence lasted longer than both of them expected and when it was finally broken, they were beyond surprised.

"Can we have Christmas?" asked Hot Rod.

"Yeah," piped up Bluestreak. "We could get a tree and have a party and give each other presents."

"Sounds like fun," agreed Smokescreen. "What do you think, Optimus?"

Optimus glanced behind him before going around the room, noticing that all optics were now on him instead of the humans. A warm feeling passed through his circuits when his optics landed on Bumblebee. The young scouts optics were wide and the beginnings of a grin was pulling at his mouth. The look alone was enough for Optimus to know he wasn't going to deny them all a little fun. It would have been unfair considering the holiday that was going on. After all, Earth was their home now.

"All right," said Optimus. "This afternoon will be the Christmas party. As long as you organise everything yourselves and clean up if you make a mess." All of them made noises of agreement and at that, Optimus nodded and got to his feet. "Then I have no objections. I'm sure Prowl won't mind keeping an eye on everything."

Optimus didn't wait for Prowl's answer before he got up and left, letting the others bask in the excitement of the day to come. Smiling, Spike stepped forward and cleared his throat, managing to gain everyone's attention.

"I'll write down everything you need," he said, smiling. "Also, since there's quite a few of us, I think we should do secret Santa."

At the confused looks Spike received, he laughed, realising that this was just the beginning of a very long day.


By mid-afternoon the party had started. Spike stood in the centre of the room, feeling proud of the job the autobots had done. They had moved from the training area and placed the party in a room on the second floor that had no practical use and was totally empty. But it looked completely different now.

There was a long table, draped in white linen, pushed against one wall. It was full of food, for both humans and Cybertronians. In the centre were tall, thick based candles, the flames casting a warm orange glow on one side while the other was blistering with a kaleidoscope of brilliant colours. Musical equipment had been set up against the opposite side of the food and a dance floor had been laid down.

Towards one corner a second table had been placed though it was smaller and was currently stacked high with wrapped gifts. The Christmas tree was beside the table and looking at it Spike couldn't help but chuckle to himself. Since they didn't have many proper decorations, the autobots just used things that they had lying around, including; Ratchet's broken wrenches, empty energon bottles and curls of paint that littered the medbay floor but at least they had a sparkling gold star on the top and that alone impressed Spike.

If one were to look up they would see that the ceiling was entirely blocked by colourful balloons and there was even more colour with the streamers that lined the golden walls. After a second glance around, Spike's dark brown gaze fell on Carly who was standing across the room, talking and giggling with Arcee and Moonracer. His bottom lip slipped and he stared, open-mouthed, at the girl he'd gone on a few casual dates with.

Carly looked glowing in a strapless, floor-length red dress that flowed out from the hips. The small, round sequins around the skirt twinkled under the lights and her luxurious blonde hair spilled around her shoulders, the locks framing her soft, round face. But Carly wasn't the only human at the party. Chip was there, huddled with Sideswipe and Sunstreaker in the corner, close to where the gifts were. They had also invited family and friends, most of whom were still in shock at seeing the autobots up close.

The most notable missing autobot was Optimus Prime. Some part of Spike felt sad as the leader was missing out but the other part of him could understand why he was choosing not to be here. Despite all of the others being here, not everyone was having a good time. Spike could see Prowl hovering near the doorway, seemingly unable to make up his mind on what to do but he was sure Prowl was going to be unhappy one way or another. But it was soon driven from his mind as Bumblebee approached him, a huge smile covering his face.

"Hey, Spike!" he called excitedly. "There is anything we're supposed to be doing for this holiday?"

"You're already doing it," said Spike, smiling at his friend's enthusiasm. "The idea is to have a big tree, a big party and heaps of presents."

The music boomed from the speakers that sat in the nook of each corner. A huge cheer went up and across the autobots and a few – Sideswipe, Jazz, Tracks, Smokescreen, Arcee and Wheeljack – headed onto the dance floor. The coloured disco ball turned their colours wild and the room bounced with the rhythmical beat that resonated off the walls and shook the floors.

Spike and Bumblebee soon joined them, along with Carly and a few other humans. Spike felt his heart skip a beat as Carly danced closer, her movements fluid and in time with the music. On catching his eye, Carly laughed and grabbed his hands so they could literally dance together. Spike laughed, feeling slightly embarassed at knowing that his dance moves weren't as polished as Carly's.

It was hours before the music was shut off without warning. There was a murmur of confusion but everyone's attention was quickly drawn to Jazz who had torn himself away from the dance floor and now stood at the present table, whistling loudly for silence. Once he had everyone's full attention, he smiled.

"I believe we should get the gifts before it gets too late," said Jazz. "I'll hand them out and remember they're from your secret santa and I know who everyone got. Now, first one is for Wheeljack and it's from Smokescreen."

The inventor stepped forward and took the odd shaped and badly wrapped present. Wheeljack had it open within a second. The object was clearly something Wheeljack recognised, but no one else did, and his face lit up at the sight of it. Ratchet grumbled under his breath as he opened his present that was swathed in black and red wrapping paper. It was a brand new wrench, the silver coating shimmering in the lights.

"A brand new one for you to throw at me," said Sideswipe with a cheeky grin.

Ratchet mumbled something else but most of it was unintelligible. A squeal across the room caught the attention of a few. Moonracer beamed with happiness as something shining gleamed in her hands. It appeared to be an upgrade of some sort, decorated with tiny jewels embedded around the edges.

"That was from me," said Tracks, looking somewhat embarrassed.

Moonracer moved quickly, crashing into him, her arms wrapping around his larger frame in a tight hug. Spike watched, with a huge grin on his face, as they continued opening presents. It was nice to see the autobots relaxing and having fun rather than focusing on the war that had been going on for countless centuries.

"Here," said Spike, approaching Carly, feeling a little awkward, "this is for you."

With a sweet smile, Carly took the offered gift and opened the neat blue wrapping carefully. Inside was a small light pink box. It was a glittering silver necklace with a heart pendant that opened as a locket. Carly's smile widened and she gently placed the box down after taking the necklace out and gently placing it around her neck.

"I love it," said Carly and she took hold of his free hand in hers. "Let's dance."

With the presents given out and quickly forgotten about, Spike and Carly returned to the dance floor along with many others. The music blasted through the speakers again and Carly took his other hand before starting to dance. Although he had two left feet, Spike danced with her, doing his best to keep up. The party had been perfect, especially as it hadn't been gatecrashed.


Thanks for reading and Merry Christmas!