Warning: Potentially triggering material ahead. Don't like it, don't read.

I awoke in darkness, sitting up in my mother's bed against the headboard. The first thing I remember noticing was the uncomfortable heaviness playing in my chest, notifying me that something wasn't right. Her bedroom door was open enough to allow just the right amount of light through so I could see my surroundings. I could hear the muffled sounds of music from down below, the melody rising up and into the hallway. I shifted, swinging my legs over the side of the bed so that my feet made contact with the cool floor. Some time had passed before I could convince my body to move at all. Even though I wanted to, I couldn't budge and the harder I attempted to focus the more impossible it seemed. Finally I was able to stand. Immediately I felt an ache in the pit of my stomach and so I dipped my hand beneath my shirt and started to massage myself in small circular motions, just how mother always did to comfort me. I closed my eyes and envisioned her small, soft hands in place of my own but it wasn't the same.

My fingers brushed against a damp stickiness, the more I explored I soon realized how plentiful it was. Semi-dried on my chest and causing the blue cotton of my shirt to cling to me. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes knowing all too well what this feeling was. It wasn't quite necessary for me to even glance down as I knew what it was but I did anyway. I had to know this was real as my senses came back to me one-by-one. I brought my hand to eye level to get a look, my finger tips were coated in the bright red hue of fresh blood. My heart began to race. I spun around to study the bed, hoping to find mother in her place, sleeping safe in warm peace. I was mortified to instead be met with an empty spot that should have occupied her beautiful body. I strode across the room and flicked on the lamp standing before the mirror. Blood covered not only my clothing, but my arms and face too. That point onward was a bit of a blur for a while. The door was flung open before I even realized I'd crossed the bedroom again, I moved with such force I practically threw myself over the banister. My heart was beating and my head pounding so hard I was sure I'd pass out, or vomit. I was dizzy and disoriented hearing sirens in my head similar to what you'd expect a home security to sound like when detonated. Everything seemed to be moving so slow and I could no longer hear the music. I didn't think I'd make it to the bottom of the stairs, it seemed to take forever. Somehow I got there.

I stood there for few minutes experiencing that frozen-in-place phenomenon again. The music eased back, my dry lips parted to mouth along with the music.

Heavenly shades of night are falling, it's twilight time

Out of the mist your voice is calling, 'tis twilight time

When purple-colored curtains mark the end of day

I'll hear you, my dear, at twilight time

In retrospect, I believe I was trying to milk the calm before the storm.

As I inched closer to the living room, still singing along my heart started up again. Anxiety shot through the roof. I turned the corner and pressed both my hands on either side of the frame. What I saw was my absolute nightmare and quite literally took my breath away. Red stained the rugs and sofa in an arrangement of splotches that almost seemed to have a pattern. There she was. Mother. My beautiful mother. She was seated with one leg crossed over the next like the proper lady she was wearing my very favorite night slip in forest green that fell just below her knees.. this particular garment had always given her this wicked witch kind of look that I grew to really enjoy. One of her arms propped her head up, her eyes half-lidded and devoid of any remains of life. She was so perfect. Still so golden and brilliant, displayed just like the ultimate taxidermy project in a gallery. I must have posed her that way but had no recollection. A deep, grisly gash tarnished the pearly skin of her neck and blood pooled down her chest, between her breasts and had begun trickling down her legs from beneath her apparel too. God, only mother could make something so gruesome so fatally beautiful. I remembered in that moment how Mr. Decody helped me fix Juno after she died so I could keep her forever. If only there was a way I could keep mother, too. Tears stung my eyes and I fell to my knees. "Oh mother… Mother, what have I done to you?" I crawled over to her and buried my face against her bloody thighs, it slipped against the moisture and covered the left side of my face. My hands found hers and my fingers laced between hers. I sobbed uncontrollably trying so hard to remember what drove me to do this to her. I kissed her thighs, not caring that the tang of blood met my taste buds as it mixed with my tears. I was hysterical for what seemed like not long at all but was over an hour. I took her around the waist and held her close to me. She was still warm, and she smelled of lavender just as she always did. I took in a deep inhale knowing it'd be the last time I'd get to smell that aroma on her.

I started to compose myself and eventually just sat with her, head still on her lap. I sang softly to the music still playing in the background, just as she'd always used to sing to me. My thumbs moved in circles caressing her. I'd made up my mind and there was no negotiating involved. I knew that mother kept a gun in the house somewhere, they'd find both of our bodies together just as it was always meant to be. Our entire lives nothing ever seemed to go well for too long. Just years of hardship and misery, trying to keep it together. We tried so hard, but it was done. The world just wasn't ready for us. Or maybe we weren't ready to take on it and all of its madness.

Finally I was able to rise. I kissed her on her forehead and ran a hand through her hair that hung slightly in front of her face. The tips were dyed red having stuck to her neck, I tucked the loose strands behind her ears to ensure they wouldn't worsen. "Come on, Mother." I muttered, sniffling as I moved one hand under her knees and the other around her shoulders to scoop her into my arms where I held her against my chest. "We have to get cleaned up." Her body was light in my arms as I walked her into the kitchen, still warm to the touch but hauntingly still. I couldn't resist bowing my head and locking my lips with mother's one last time. They were cold and unresponsive, but still so damn enticing. Once in the kitchen I cleared off the table and laid her down on top of it carefully, making sure she'd be nice and comfortable and holding her head so it wouldn't hit. I ran my hands up the entirety of her body from her bare feet, over her shapely legs and hips and over her shoulders to her face. She felt so soft, so good. I leaned over her to kiss her again before moving to the sink to wet a rag to get clean her up.

As I shifted on my feet I froze as I caught sight of a figure out of the corner of my eye. Turning back around I approached the heap that laid out on the floor, surrounded by a pool of presumably its own hemorrhage. A subtle but present smirk spread on my lips. "You know sheriff, if it weren't for that uniform I never would have recognized you." His face was so mangled I couldn't tell where one feature started and the next ended. My arms crossed and I remember feeling a strange calmness overcome me. Alex wasn't set up nice in the way mother had been. My work with him was messy, uncaring. Impersonal and lacking any rhyme or reason. A few feet away from him our toaster was scattered across the floor, also covered in his leakage. Well then. I sighed, slipping my hands into my pockets and bent down to pick it up. Standing in the middle of the kitchen holding the appliance, the memories began to come back to me in a clouded vision.

I had just gotten out of pineview not 24 hours prior to my world flipped completely upside down by our new guest. Admittedly I was not in what you would call a chipper mood.

"Norman, come sit down Honey. I have something important to share with you." She'd sat at the kitchen table with her hands folded together, that look on her face she obtained when she expressed both immense happiness and sadness. There were slight differences, but not much.

"What is it mother?" I nearly spat as I noticed Alex hovered by the door frame, studying mother and I from afar. I didn't like that, I'd felt cornered. Trapped. Sandwiched between these two people who thought so foolishly that upon my returning we'd just mold into one big happy family. Mother and Alex shared a gaze from across the room. It was warm and loving and all together disgusting. I had to physically keep myself from vomiting. "What is this?" I demanded coldly, eyeing my mother like the trader and hypocrite she was. When she looked up at me the glory expression in her eyes died out and was replaced with concern.

"Norman... I'm pregnant."

My fists clenched at the recollection, guilt quickly melting away as I felt suddenly justified in my actions. I placed the toaster back on the counter and fetched a rag to wipe it down. Then I stood above the man I'd severely fucked up, for he himself fucked up royally when he married my mother. I crouched down before him and took a better look at his absolute mess of a head injury. Reaching out, I touched it. "Sorry about your head. Truly. But.. Well sheriff, I did warn you. Gave you a chance to make things right. Your first mistake was falling in love with a woman who wasn't emotionally ready for anything of this nature. She's got a lot of demons," I explained standing back on my feet. "Things you don't even know about and could never understand. Things that only I'll ever understand." I moved smoothly to the sink and dampened a new rag to tend to mother. "She didn't love you, sheriff. And you're a fool for believing it. Unfortunately she does this sort of thing quite often. Mother will do go to great lengths to get exactly what she wants out of someone. And I must say, she's good at it isn't she?"

I approached mother's limp body again. Most of the blood was dried up except for in places it'd ran thick streams. She looked beautiful in this new, darker shade. My hands ran over her again, touching her as always. Nothing weird here. "Oh mother.." my voice crackled as emotion threatened to trickle through. "How could you have let him do this to you? To us? To come into our home? To plant his seed inside of you? What were you thinking?" My hands found their way up and under her nightgown, skidding across the flesh of her stomach. "Since Norman is a crazy you need a replacement spawn don't you? You replace me with that no-good cop, and then together reproduce a replacement child?" She wasn't responding and it was beginning to irritate me. "You're not allowed to forget me, Mother. Not after everything we've shared."

Without a second thought I took the bottom of the gown and eased it up her body and over her head, leaving her completely exposed in front of me. Her body coated in thick deep crimson. There was no way she'd have a proper clean unless I could reach everywhere thoroughly. My voice caught in my throat at the sight of her.. so beautifully open all for me. My hand twisted more forcefully in her curls than I knew and I bent over her form to press another kiss to her forehead, breathing in her scent. "It's alright mother." I whispered. "It's all gonna be good. You'll see. Just you and me, right?"

I got to work. Using the warm, damp cloth to gently scrub away the blood. I roamed every inch of her like I'd always dreamed of but never had the opportunity. I guess I could have tried to make a pass on her any time I wanted it was just, well, I wanted it to happen between us very naturally. Without having to think too hard about it, just knowing it was something we were both ready for. My day surely had been coming once upon a time. I'd been on my way to 19 years old. I wasn't a little boy anymore, I was a man.. and I was sure mother was noticing just as much as I was. My day was coming. I'd been robbed of something I'd waited years to experience with her.

I wasn't expecting my arousal to make an appearance at that moment but once my cock was fully erect and "tenting"in my pajama bottoms there wasn't much else I could do besides relieve it from its constraints. Pulling the string of my pants I allowed them to fall around my ankles, shaking as my tip brushed her thigh.

I glanced over to Alex. "I guess now's as good as ever to take back what's mine."

I took mother by the shoulders and lifted her to me from the waist up. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her lips repeatedly in this ferocious manner in which I didn't even know I could. I was breathing so heavily into her hair, her neck. Holding the back of her head into the crook of my neck where she'd always tuck her sweet face away to sleep when we'd share a bed. She was so limp and lifeless but it made no difference to me. "Mother, oh mother," I groaned when my member, which was settled between her legs came into contact with the heat of her centre. Heat? I dropped a hand down between us to feel her for myself. I rubbed and pinched gently at her clit before penetrating her opening with just one finger. Yes, heat. "Mother you're still warm. So warm." What a delightful surprise. "Thank you."

I'd wanted to take my time with her, this being our first time and all. I really did but I couldn't control my stupid teenage boy needs. I'd never been so horny to the point that my cock actually hurt until that very moment. I felt if I didn't get release soon I'd have a heart attack. "I'm sorry," I whispered against her ear, my tongue dancing on her ear lobe. Her bloodied hair invading my mouth. "I don't think I'll last long but.. I'll try." With my last words my hands slid down her back and grasped her backside, yanking her forward to me and impaling her on my pulsating erection. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I released a pathetic whimper. I held the back of her head as I jerked and thrusted fast and unruly into her tight channel. Grunting with each thrust, the legs of the table scraped against the floor with every hard push. It took some concentration to both hold her up and make love to her all at once. Her body kept wanting to fall backward, but it didn't take long for us to get a rhythm going that worked for us. I couldn't bite back any of my lawless grunts. I took both of her legs and linked them over my forearms, laid her back down and drove into her like nothing you've ever seen, or ever will and your life. I'd lost control. Blinded by lust, the things I was doing to her were things I didn't know I was capable of. All of the years of sexual repression were coming back to haunt me in a huge way. Never had I felt something so incredible.

And all the while I kept thinking that we were always supposed to end up like this. I was delighted to have Alex join us that night. To witness for himself what true love between two people really looked like. "Mother..."