DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sailor Moon or related characters. They are property of Naoko Takeuchi. The Land of Chocolate (from The Simpsons) and related characters belong to Matt Groening.

This fanfic is inspired by the first level of The Simpsons Game, "The Land of Chocolate". I hope you like it!


THE ESTATE OF NIBIRU-MUL PRESENTS

ESMERAUDE IN THE LAND OF CHOCOLATE

One sunny day in the Land of Chocolate, where the sky was pink and the ground was brown, three chocolate rabbits were hopping along the road. The scenery had lollipops and chocolate bars growing out of the ground. A sign on a candy stick pointed to Fudgetown.

Esmeraude stood under a sign that said "Land of Chocolate: Population 1372".

"This looks like a great place to eat!" she said to herself. She laughed her usual haughty laugh.

Esmeraude chased the chocolate rabbits into town, but unfortunately for her, they got away. Then it started to drizzle malted milk balls, which she greedily gobbled up. She then tiptoed into Fudgetown, a town with lots of chocolate houses, and took a bite out of a lamppost.

"Mmm..."

A chocolate dog then ran over to Esmeraude. She took a bite out of it and laughed haughtily. She then eyed Ye Olde Chocolate Shoppe, a shop located to her left, and eyed all the delicious chocolate.

"Now then...which chocolates to eat first?" she said.

Esmeraude was interrupted by a voice.

"Excuse me, ma'am," said the voice, "You're eating our world."

Esmeraude turned around and saw a white chocolate rabbit.

"Hey," she said, "you're like that rabbit from that book about a girl named Alice who goes to Wonderland. What was it called again...Snow White Goes to StupidTown." She laughed.

"For your information, I am the White Chocolate Rabbit," said the white chocolate rabbit.

"Hey," said Esmeraude, "white chocolate's not even chocolate. It doesn't even contain cocoa solids!"

"Well," said the white chocolate rabbit, "if I'm not real chocolate, then you probably wouldn't be interested in eating me!"

"Mmm...white chocolate..." said Esmeraude.

The white chocolate rabbit hopped away, breaking a chocolate pretzel and hopping across some cakes.

"I'll get you for that!" yelled Esmeraude. "I hate know-it-all chocolate."

Esmeraude chased the white chocolate rabbit across the cakes. He hopped into the main square of town. Along the way, Esmeraude ate chocolate and cakes that were scattered on the ground.

Esmeraude looked at the main square. There was a chocolate clock tower, chocolate stands, and lollipop flowers, which Esmeraude took bites out of. Chocolate rabbits tried getting in the way, but she ate them.

"You can run, but you can't hide!" yelled Esmeraude. "I am sooo buying a summer home here..."

"Prince Demande hates you," said the white chocolate rabbit.

"THAT'S IT!" yelled Esmeraude.

She charged towards the white chocolate rabbit, but he fled. She ate all the regular chocolate rabbits that got in the way, as well as parts of buildings and chocolate fountains. The white chocolate rabbit continued to taunt Esmeraude.

"That laugh of yours is getting really annoying!" said the white chocolate rabbit. "If you eat too much, you're gonna develop cellulite. You can't even free-write."

Esmeraude saw that the white chocolate rabbit had hopped onto a giant cake. He sent more chocolate rabbits after Esmeraude, but she ate them all.

"Oh no!" said the white chocolate rabbit. "She's a serial killer!"

Esmeraude then ran to the giant cake, jumped onto it, and took bites out of it.

"I don't think there's enough of me to eat that cake," she said. "And I hope my clothes don't get stained. This outfit's dry clean only."

Esmeraude climbed the cake, eating cakes along the way and going up and up. She then made it to the top of the cake, where the white chocolate rabbit stood.

"Why so slow?" said the white chocolate rabbit. "Eat too many of my relatives?"

Esmeraude smirked.

"Looks like you're out of luck," she said, laughing haughtily.

"NOOOOO!" screamed the white chocolate rabbit.

And with that, Esmeraude busted the white chocolate rabbit and ate him up.

"No piece of sassy chocolate will mess with me!" said Esmeraude.

Then, suddenly, Esmeraude grew really fat and fell into the cake. She screamed upon learning that she was fat, but after that she didn't care. There were tons of chocolate rabbits, all running around and laughing.

"I did it with Prince Demande!" said one of the chocolate rabbits.

"DIE BUNNY! DIE!" said Esmeraude.

The fat, bloated Esmeraude rolled around, smashing all the chocolate rabbits and eating them up. She laughed wickedly as she smashed all the rabbits to bits and ate them up.

Once all the chocolate rabbits were gone, Esmeraude heard her heart pounding.

"Oh no," she said, "I think I'm having a HEART ATTACK!"

But she continued to eat anyway, until all of a sudden, she heard an explosion. Her heart had ruptured.


Cut back to the real world. Esmeraude was in bed, chewing on a pillow.

"Not dying...not dying...not dying..." she said, until she heard three voices talking.

"Esmeraude!" said one of them. "What the hell are you doing?"

Esmeraude woke up to see Prince Demande, Saphir, and Rubeus standing in front of her. They were all in their pajamas.

"Aw, shit!" said Esmeraude. "I must have been dreaming! It's not fair! I should be able to eat everything I want and turn into a giant ball! Is that too much to ask? DAMN YOU, REALITY!"

"I don't understand a single word of what you're saying," said Demande.

Esmeraude looked down at herself. She was still wearing her nightgown.

"Oh...it was nothing," she said.

"You were eating your pillow," said Saphir.

"I was?" asked Esmeraude. "No wonder why it tasted like satin." She looked around. "Is it morning already?"

"Not yet," said Rubeus.

"You were keeping us all up tonight," said Saphir. "Next time, don't do it again!"

"Why should I have to listen to you, Saphir?" said Esmeraude. "I do what I want!"

"Stop fighting, guys," said Prince Demande. "Let's all just go back to sleep and carry out our villainous deeds when morning comes."

"Right..." said Esmeraude. "Let's go back to sleep."

Prince Demande, Saphir, and Rubeus went back to their rooms, and Esmeraude went back to sleep.

THE END