This one shot is dedicated to all my readers. Takes place two years after No Fate But What We Make, and five years after Ending the cycle (I suggest you read those fics first which are part of my No Fate series, otherwise this will make no sense). I decided to focus on the dynamics of the Connor family because a lot of what will happen in this story, will set in motion what happens at the end of the series.
"Pushed to the edge of my reason
Everywhere around me is treason
I don't want to do that to you
Kamikaze airplanes
are we going down or will we fly?
This could a shipwreck down the shore
or we could sail away for ever-more
This time is sink or swim" ~Sink or Swim by Tyron Wells.
They say that for every parent the death of the child meant the end of the world, well that was certainly true for Sarah Connor. When her child died, it was the end of the world –the world she had known since a child, since the Terminator rescued her- and the beginning of a new one. When she married Kyle Reese, he agreed to let her keep her last name. It was the last link she had to her family, and to the woman she was raised to be.
But being mother of the future entailed more than protecting your children from dangerous machines. Every day from this day, Kyle would say is a gift. And she believed it at first, when she wasn't looking after her oldest child, Jane Reese-Connor. When she became five, she started noticing the changes and she asked Pops to give them answers. He told them exactly what they'd feared. The injury John had inflicted on her, left her more changed.
"But why? I have been to the doctor. To the woman's clinic, they haven't said anything-"
"John Connor ensured his survival via your children." Pops said in his usual monotone voice. "Your children are Sky Net and John Connor's ultimate creation."
Sarah refused to believe that. "We are going to find a way." She told Kyle but Kyle was going off his rocker. He started seeing that woman who filled his head with lies about the apocalypse. Then came the day when they couldn't handle the pressure and decided to get a divorce. O'Brian helped them get the necessary papers, and Grant arranged with a friend from Homeland to erase their records. As a machine, Pops helped him hack into the files, cleaning their records. They split custody, Jacob going to her and Jane going to Kyle.
Sarah would have preferred if she kept both children, but there was something about Jane that unnerved her every time she looked at her. Those eyes –she couldn't place them anywhere- but they caused a shiver to run down her spine.
"What is wrong?" She asked her son Jacob who was pointing to the sky. "Cameron. Cameron Philips. The beautiful woman who came to visit me is dead." He said telling her how important the stars had been to her.
Cameron Philips? The Terminator that had been modeled after that chit, Allison Young, who'd been after her husband? It cannot be. All the models were destroyed, Sky Net smashed them to bits when it traveled between dimensions.
"Are you sure?" She asked her son and he nodded, pointing to the dark figure coming from the forest. "Pops!" But Pops was too slow. Cameron came running and pushing Pops away.
For a T-890 model, she was strong. "What are you doing here?" Sarah asked, taking out her revolver. Just in case, she always had a practical gun for when everything else failed. If this metal bitch thought about taking her son, she was going to be sorely disappointed. She was going to do them both before she let that happen. And to drive that point close to home, she pushed her gun closer to her son's chest. "One step further and your little tool is gone."
"I don't come here for Jacob. I come here for you Sarah."
"What do you want with me?"
"I am the only of the Column that's survived. In all other lives you distrusted me."
"And with good reason. You and your army of rebellious metal wanted to use my son to overpower Sky Net so you could take over. Winner takes all, am I right?"
"Yes." Cameron said, speaking quickly as Pops advanced to her. Yet he did not attack her. He let her speak.
"Sarah you must listen to what she has to offer."
Offer? What was the matter with Pops? This fucking metal bitch was the reason John failed in other incarnations and what prompted Sky Net to do what he did to an older John.
"I come here in peace. I know that you are afraid for your offspring but there is still a way to stop Sky Net."
"Sky Net is gone, you said so yourself. My son made sure everything was destroyed."
"Your son's mission is to protect Sky Net and that is exactly what he's done by ensuring your children's survival." She then said: "Didn't you ever wonder why was it, the police left you alone all these years? Was it all you? John Connor knew that the police would be looking for you so he convinced Danny Dyson and his father to drop the charges and helped your guardian erase your criminal records. He still wants Judgment Day to happen, only differently."
"How differently?" Sarah asked, not letting the fear of knowing what she was going to say, show.
"He wants to take back the future. Before the leader of us was terminated, she recorded Sky Net's plans and handed them to me." She said and let them hear her recording, modifying her voice to fit that of Alex Stryder aka Sky Net who had infected John Connor in 2029. "Your Pops was one of the few 101 units that survived the purge." She told her eying Pops.
"Pops is this true?" Pops nodded. "But your files were erased. Did you lie?"
"No. My files were indeed erased but certain ones were not. Cameron Philips is a unique model, among the many others in other timelines. Cameron Philips, you must have known you would not find what you were looking for here. John Connor will not listen to you." He told her, knowing full well the connection those two had in the distant future they came from.
"I know." She said, blinking. What Pops registered as weakness, emotion. In his timeline, her model had failed because it was prone to anger, but too proud to admit it. Those traits Pops believed, were useless and it offered nothing to their cause. "But we can still fight."
"My mission is to protect Sarah Connor. I will not stop, I will die for Sarah Connor."
"Your mission stopped when Sky Net was destroyed and John Connor destroyed the core."
"I choose to remain in my post." That was all Cameron Philips needed to hear. She eyed the boy. He looked so different from her John, and every other John. He was sapphire eyed like John, just like their sister, but his features were so different. Dark brown hair and semi-fair face like their father.
Shame, she thought. And yet as she was about to leave, she saw the boy's eyes flash blue. A dangerous blue, the kind that John Connor flashed at the 101 model before they plunged they entered the Quantum field. She shifted her eyes to "Pops" who gave her a look, the kind she had seen humans give when they wanted to prove a point. And she gave him a small nod in response then she ran away.
"What was that about?" Sarah asked putting her revolver back under her belt. "Can we trust her?"
"She will be back that is all I can say."
Not satisfied with his answer, Sarah kept pressing on. "All I can say is that Cameron Philips has no more reason to exist or to continue her mission. The future we all knew is no more."
"So? Why's she here?"
"She chooses to be. She will watch over Jacob, you have my word Sarah Connor." He said, using words that a father would say to his daughter, and it was in moments like these –when the Terminator used phrases that were so human, yet so bizarre to hear- that made Sarah trust him with her life and that of her son's.
"Hello John." Cameron told John Connor. What had once been John Connor. He was seated in a comfortable cushion chair, drinking scotch. His mother always preferred Tequila, the two had spent a lot of time in Mexico and Guatemala, in the dangerous jungles, learning how to survive. Everything he was, he owed it to her.
"It is tight." She said, hoping, deep down in the confines of her electronic brain that he would remember, or something of her John would have remained from the memories he had gotten from all his other incarnations. "Beware there will be no mercy. You can still fight."
"Cameron, you shouldn't have come here. I don't bother company, but Kate won't be so forgiving. She remembers everything and she forgets nothing."
"You took the children away from their parents. Why?"
"You know why. Don't ask questions you don't the answer. Isn't that what you and mother always used to tell me? Or the other men, the poor lonely kid who whined and cried every time things didn't go his way."
"You are still that boy John. You can still be the leader you are meant to be. If you fight!"
John gave a dry chuckle. "Good Cameron. Still the same old unit, prone to anger, frustration, jealousy … It must hurt you, doesn't it –to know that the John you spent endless nights after his wife died, is now back in her arms?" He put his glass down and shifted his arm into a blade.
"It would be an unfair fight. I would win in a second, you will barely make it out with half of you crawling down the stairs." He said, teasingly. His arm shifted back into its human form. "Do not worry though, I am not above chasing old dreams. You can show yourself out."
"I am not going until you give me Jacob. He needs to be safe."
"Nobody is ever safe! Second rule. Trust no one. Third rule. And finally what is there will always be there. Deep down you still want to kill me, so tell me why should I trust my brother to a murderous, treacherous mewling metal quim like you?"
"Because I would die for you." She said and added before he shouted. "And I love you."
John's eyes hardened. God! He wanted to smack her, terminate her! Make her suffer (if that was possible) but he just stood there.
"I have always loved you." She said. No –he thought back to what his mother in other lifetimes told him –They feel nothing! It. Not even an organism, a thing, created in a fucking lab by other fucking machines.
"You do not know what love is. Just go Cameron."
"And you do?" It countered. "All your life you have been guided by fate. You could have chosen someone else but you still chose Katherine Brewster because you wanted the version that most fit your desires. I can help you win against Sky Net."
"There is no winning. I am the savior of mankind, Sky Net was just a tool. It knew it was losing as the other rebellious machines were, so it was why it made me into this. So I could accomplish my goal, save the world and it would still go on living through me. Everyone happy."
"You are not happy. Your siblings are not happy. Jane is Sky Net."
This drew John Connor's attention but he turned serious. "You were always smart. Cheers."
"What do you intend to do with her? She will hurt Jacob. She must be destroyed."
"She will do what she is meant to do. And with our father dead, lying six feet under and that pet machine of my mother terminated, nobody will stand in her way."
"You can't achieve what you are doing John. It can't be done. Eternity is a long time."
"I do not intend to live forever. After this is over, I will step down and give everything to Jane." He said and Cameron saw in his eyes, his intent. Jane Reese, now Jane Connor was everything that was right with the world. John considered her the light at the end of the tunnel just as she considered her big brother, her guide against all the adversities she confronted on a daily basis.
"What about Jacob."
John did not answer right away. After a long while he broke the silence, his voice cutting deeper than knives as they plunged into his heart. "You can take Jacob."
"Thanks John." Cameron said then wheeled around and left. John Connor had not changed, the man she knew, the boy she protected and fell in love with, was still there. But Pops had been right when she saw him and Sarah Connor eight years ago; their mission had changed. Everything they'd known, the people they'd been with were gone. Except for one.
John rested his face on his fists, his elbows upon the glass table. He and Kate had destroyed their last chance of happiness for his siblings. And not a day went by that they weren't grateful. The two were happy. They suffered, they wished they could cry (like they used to when they were human) but they were happy nonetheless. Because Cameron was right. Eternity was a long time, and it was better to spend it side by side when all of this was said and done, than watching everything and everyone they love turn to dust.
Giving Jacob away, was the hardest thing he had done. There was a lot of hope in the boy. He was always speaking of far away places, of traveling to the moon, Mars, and being the first to do everything. "The boy is special" Kate always said. She was right. Jacob was what John had been … once … a long time ago…
Kate nestled Jacob against her breast. He had his arms wrapped around her. "You smell good today Kate. Not that you never do, but today you smell better."
Kate chuckled. Silly Jacob. John stressed the importance of not being silly. He had to stay focus, to prepare for what was coming. But Kate told him that it was ok to be silly and play games. "Be a child," she always said. "be yourself Jacob, don't listen to the others."
"It's a new fragrance. Do you think your big brother is going to like it?"
Jacob nodded and closed his eyes, then said, while still keeping his eyes closed. "Kate, is John now my daddy?"
Kate cocked her head. "What do you mean sweetheart?"
"Janey says that we have the last name Connor now, so that means he is my daddy now. Does that make you my mommy as well?"
"Yes it does, sweetie. Yes it does." She repeated burying her fingers in her 'son's' dark brown hair. All she ever wanted was to have a peaceful existence, one where she would not have to worry about John's safety or the tug of war.
"Kate?"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"If you are my mommy and my brother is my daddy, can you promise me something?"
"Anything."
"Can you tell me a false story where the prince rescued the princess from the dragon, and where he died so she could live and birth the savior?"
"Jacob, why should I make up a story when you already know the truth?"
"Because the truth is always either terrible or boring." He said and went into stand-by mode. Kate was all too familiar with that function. It was harder for her to activate it though, because John had not turned her entirely as he intended with other human beings. Her turn was only so she could retain some human functions, and so she could give birth to their heir.
She smiled bitterly. Their heir. Another miscarriage this morning. The nanites alerted her, flashing signs of System Malfunction. Foreign Body threat to Systems. Before she could command them, they acted. As she expected, the body was malformed. She did not bother to tell John. He had suffered too many disappointments in his life to be bothered with this, and the two had reached an agreement that they would be honest with each other. But this was something she could not be honest. She hid her sadness behind a mask of happiness. For her and for John, but most of all for the children because truly, they were everything they had.
So next morning when John told her about what had transpired, she lost it. "How could you make this decision without telling me?"
"Kate I didn't intend for it to go this way but it is what's better for Jacob."
"What is better for Jacob? We have spent four years deciding what is better for him. I have kept him ignorant because I want him to be a child. What kind of childhood will he have with that machine?"
"I have made my decision Kate. That is final. Over." He said with a firm, commanding tone.
"I am not going to let you give him to her. Over my dead body."
"Well I am sure she will be happy to fight you because she's been trying to kill you in every timeline, and in two she succeeded!"
"She is not his mother. She can't take him away from us," from me –she thought, "he is my son. He called me mommy today, I've read to him, watched over him when you were not there, being with Janey instead. I never raised my voice when you … when you were with her. I could have skinned you alive. You know I could have. I know your weaknesses John … but I didn't … I chose to be with you. I chose you! You can't do this to me."
"Kate, I ended the cycle. I changed the future but I can't protect Jacob if this goes on. You have seen how many times Kyle Reese has attempted to take him, and there is no telling what Allison Young will do."
"That is why I am here, that is why you married me!"
"I married you because I love you, I turned you against my conscience because that is what I had to do, because I had no other choice of protecting you and given the chance to turn back time, I would have done it again. But I can't keep pretending that I can protect the boy and neither can you." John said, he sat at the chair facing their bed. "We can't!"
"You think that your big voice of yours scares me? I am your wife not another one of soldiers. And I am the boy's mother and I am going to risk my life for him." Kate shook her head, and crossed her arms. "I am not going to let you take him. In fact, I am going to bring him to you right now so you can tell him yourself how you are not going to let that metal thing take him." She turned and strolled to Jacob's room but he was gone.
"It's too late. I made arrangements." John said, placing his arms on her shoulders. Kate turned and pushed him away.
"You … you let him go…" She slapped him. John did not attempt to fight her off. "How different are you now from your mother, John? You abandon everyone you love." She sunk to her knees and clawed her fingers at the floor, screaming loud and hard, hoping in vain that the powers-that-be would hear her pleas and bring her newfound 'son' back.
"I hate you. I hate you!" John heard her say for the entirety of the two days he held her.
During that time, Jane used her spare time to escape from the house. As a fifteen year old, she was more powerful than she'd ever been, and she could tap into her powers in ways she could not before.
How long could those two last like that? If she was John, she would not hesitate to slap her significant other. But John was not her. The man, despite what he said, was still sentimental. And that was something she both admired and hated from her brother.
I am never going to be that stupid. She thought. Kate should be happy that my brother is gone. Her brother was an idiot. All he ever did was whine and scream at her. Not to mention burning my dolls. One time she had come home. Jacob was already there. Michelle's dad had brought him. And she found her dolls' face burned off. She went to Jacob's room and found her missing dolls being lit on fire. Jacob just snapped his fingers and one of their heads snapped. He giggled until she cleared her throat.
She slapped the back of his head and like the stupid, immature boy that he was, he went running to Kate and John. "Kate, John! Janey hit me!" She justified her actions to her brother and his wife, but they didn't listen. Kate took her brother's side –as usual- and John, her brother John who always put reason behind emotion, was taken by Jacob's tears.
"You are a manipulative little shit." She told Jacob, so low that nobody could hear her, but John did and reminded her that Jacob was her little brother, and they had to stick together as a family. "Be there for him Jane, you are his big sister, he will need you more than he will ever need me and Kate. You must be gentle with him."
How could she ask him to be gentle with him when Jacob was an idiot, a sweet little boy (true), but an idiot nonetheless? But she promised he would because she respected John. She also respected Kate. The two were all she and Jacob had, but she wished they would stop treating Jacob like a child. He was not a child. He was eight and he should be learning, instead of fantasizing about what-could-have-beens.
She was glad he was gone. And Kate will come to see that John did the right thing. It was a pity that John did out of some misguided feeling of love. Love was for the weak. Love was stupid. She jumped from her window, forty stories high, landing perfectly on her two feet. She headed to Arthur Kripke's place which was not too far from here.
Arthur was there waiting for her. He complimented her on her dress. Seeing her frown, he asked "Was your foster mom being a bitch again?"
"Do not call Kate that. Kate is nice, it's my brother. He was being sniveling little shit as always."
"Are you two really related?"
She chuckled.
"Seriously babe, the idiot is the most talked about in my sis class, and she is always throwing notes and eying him but he's always too dumb to notice. You either have to be stupid or retarded."
"Maybe you're the retarded one." Jane said sitting on his lap staring at the big plasma TV. "What are we watching tonight?"
"ALIENS. James Cameron's director's cut. Your favorite, guts and one impotent loser soldier hitting the chick with the loose mouth."
"Ha-ha, very funny. But I was thinking more of strong woman with more balls than the toy soldiers she's stuck with and the sleazy company man."
"Do you always have an opinion of everything?" She nodded. "Yes. Well good, I wouldn't want it any other way. I like spirit in my woman."
"Say I'm your woman again and there'll be no cuddling." She threatened, whispering in his ear with an alluring voice.
His loins stirred at the sound of her voice and the perfume she used. It was the same one that Kate used on special occasions for John. The two watched the movie, then headed to his room, where the lights were turned off except for a dim candle which was enough to illuminate the shadows dancing on the wall.
"You think your father is going to be angry?"
"He is not my father, my father was a crazy guy. But yes, I imagine he will be but I am his favorite girl. He always forgives me."
"You've done this before?"
She nodded. In reality no. The other times she'd done 'it' was because she felt the need to do it, not because she was frustrated or anything. It was just because she felt like it. Tonight though, she just wanted to get away from the endless crying and screaming. It was a good thing that neither of them could cry, because she would hate seeing two of the people that meant the most to her, weak.
"Question." He asked as the sun came up, and he took an electric cigarette from his top drawer.
"Yeah?"
"Your dad, or your foster dad, whatever … he really loves you … no, not in that way … I mean, he's really close to you and your bro, you know? Almost like you were really his kids. Quite touching if you ask me."
"John just always wanted to have kids. He and Kate can't so we are all they have." She said, mixing truth with lies as her parents taught her.
"You mustn't be too hard on them. They care about you, that is more than what my asshole dad cares for me. He is always away, at least your dad is there, and your mom has never missed a soccer practice, or a ballet recital, hell not even your dad and last time he told my dad that he hates Ballet. And your mom always video-tapes your brother' sissy plays."
"Yeah I guess so … In any case, none of that shit is your business."
He snorted and rolled his eyes. Damn difficult women. His father had, had too many encounters with John and Kate Connor. He told him they were the most difficult people to speak, but also the most interesting. "You can be such a b-"
"Bitch?" She offered smirking.
"Beautiful and empathetic person when you are not being a major bitch." He said.
"Come here." Jane said, tired of hearing another word.
When she arrived home, Kate and John were still in each other's arms, but Kate was no longer screaming and John was no longer trying to justify his actions. The two just stayed in each other's arms, rocking each other, their bodies trembling. It suddenly dawned on them that she'd came, and Jacob was not with her.
You will lose everyone –Sarah Connor's words came to mind. He hadn't lost everyone, but he lost the one person who was the living reminder of the boy he'd been once, the boy who dreamed and hoped.
Jacob did not like being away from Kate. Cameron knew this and explained what happened as she would have explained to any other human or machine. "Your mother had her protector, the 101 model who survived the purge. It is my mission to protect you now."
"Why me? Why not Jane?" It would have been much easier to protect his sister. If it was true that she was Sky Net and all that.
"Your sister cannot help her nature. Sky Net left an imprint, that was transplanted to your mother by the-"
"wound inflicted on her. I know that. What does that have to do with me? Wouldn't I be infected too?" He asked, suddenly feeling rebellious, crossing his arms. The cyborg was suddenly assaulted by a memory, of another Connor boy who did the same thing whenever he was frustrated.
"The wound was only meant for one imprint. Your sister inherited all of Sky Net's memories."
"So she is Sky Net, then. Good, just good."
Jacob turned to the window, looking at the highway. A straight line. "Why are we going back to mommy's house?"
"You will see." Cameron said, smiling at the boy. Jacob blinked, it was the first time he had seen her smile, and it brought a feeling of warm he had not felt in a long time.
Can it be that John was right and that I am starting to feel in tune with my other kind? He was neither machine or human after all. Well, I am but not like John is, not even like Marcus Wright, Janey's ex's dad was in other timelines.
As the two reached the house, they found a lonely figure waiting for them. She was tired, sad looking but just as beautiful as Jacob remembered.
Mommy! He thought and wanted to run into her arms, but he remembered his lessons. Trust no one. "Is she … is she … mommy?"
"She is." Cameron said, walking steadily. But the boy's grip was harder than her own and what the 101 once described as pain to Sarah Connor, registered in her systems. "Jacob … my hand."
Jacob nodded and let go. The two walked towards his mother.
She sniffed. She hated showing herself at her weakest. She wasn't going to cry, that function was still part of her, but she was not going to use it –even for this.
"Sarah Connor, explain it to him."
Sarah began her tale. "Why didn't you come? You could have saved me from daddy. You could have saved daddy."
Sarah nodded, each word he said felt like a knife, but she could not show weakness to Jacob. "I could not risk my position. For years I watched you and Jane."
"You looked after me and Janey?"
"Yes. I had to do what I had to keep you safe I watched you and Jane grow, I watched Jane blossom into a beautiful teenager and I watched all your fights, I followed you. I survived for you so this day could come."
"But why didn't you come for us earlier."
"Jacob, you know why. Do not ask questions you already know the answers. Jane is lost to us-"
"No!"
"Jacob listen to me (for once!)" Sarah shook him, a stern look on her face. "Your sister is sot to us, I know this is hard on you but we must focus. Pops gave his life so I could live; if you die everything your father and I did before will be in vain." She turned to Cameron. "If you try to use him like you used his brother, I will put one of these bullets" she gestured to the old revolver she threatened her with eight years ago "in your head and you won't even have time to do a systems check."
"I will not. Jacob is not John Connor, not my John, this John or any other John." Cameron said. She turned from her to Jacob then her again. "Jacob is unique, he and his sister are the only living machines. They are us."
"He's one of your own, is that what you're trying to say?"
"Yes." Cameron said quickly. Perhaps too quickly for Sarah's liking. "We must take the road. If John and Katherine Connor do not come, Kyle and Allison or any other of their allies might."
"Jacob, you heard her, get in the truck, we will find another car and ditch this one. Jacob!" She put his chin up. "You can do this."
Jacob said nothing. Hopping in the middle, he opened his palm, Cameron touched it. Sarah did not trust her to drive; Sarah would never trust another machine (except for Pops). What Cameron said would stick with him. One of us. He was a machine, a Terminator. Jacob never felt like one. Terminators were evil; but John had shown him that wasn't true. Pops had been a Terminator and he practically raised his mother, and Cameron was ready to give her life for him as well.
Cameron had seen in John a tool, one she grew close to, but a tool nonetheless. In Jacob, she saw something else. She was like her. She would die for him.
As the three women reached Sacramento, they dealt with one of the contacts she and Kyle had made in their lifetime. False papers, false identities, including the ones that allowed them to get food stamps. Jacob wiped the tears of his face with his sleeve. He was not going to cry anymore His mother would yell at him if he cried. She wanted him to be tough. "The road ahead will be tough. I do not expect you to understand, but you must be prepared or else, you will end up making the same mistakes as your father and John did." She told him and he did not have to ask which daddy she meant.
He knew that her mommy would never call John her big brother. She didn't consider him her son anymore after he revealed what he'd become, but in Jacob's mind her big brother would always be her big brother, and her sister, despite their endless fights, would always be her sister.
I can't be the warrior they want me to be. He wasn't tough, he wasn't the fighting type. "But you must be for us. For me." Cameron told him, in a barely audible voice that only he heard. And it was that voice that had brought him so much comfort before he was reunited with his mommy, that convinced him that everything was going to be alrgith.
I am going to become a leader –for them, for mommy, for Cameron. But also for John, Kate and my sister. Because unlike the others, he believed like his remaining daddy, that love was the most powerful force in the universe, and he would use it to redeem his siblings, his mommy and his entire family.
Kyle searched everywhere for Jacob. "Where did you take him Sarah?"
His wife and daughter were waiting for him at home. It had been two years since Allison gave birth, and since then, they stopped trying because with all that was happening, they did not want to bring another child into a war-torn world.
Kyle picked up a rock and threw it across the artificial lake that Connor and his foundation had built. He watched as it made ripples across the pond. Just like that, Connor had changed his future, and his when he went back in time.
Why Sarah? Why didn't you let me take the kid? He would've been safe with Allison. He didn't trust that Terminator to keep them safe. Hell, the other him hadn't even trusted her late guardian to keep her safe.
But there had to be a reason, he pondered, why Sarah had gone to these extremes. And John as well. What had that piece of metal told them? Why did they have to take Jacob and not Jane? Why hadn't she told him?
Sometimes Kyle wondered if Sarah was doing this out of revenge because he married Allison. No that is not her style. Sarah was too strong to give into her emotions. But that the woman was human, and even if she had pretended for everyone else, she was still vulnerable.
What are you thinking Kyle? You are never going to have her, best let it go. He was going to focus on the present, and work with the knowledge that he had so when the time came, he could take on Connor and in the process rescue his siblings.
"Regardless of what Allison says," he said to himself. "they do not belong with him, or anyone else for that matter." Their parents had a made a choice, including their older sibling, to ruin their lives; Kyle was not going to let those two repeat their same mistakes.
Perhaps it is fate, perhaps this is my destiny. To follow Connor, no matter if it is John, Jane or Jacob. No. He made his own destiny. John chose to screw up his life because he believes in paradoxes and fate, but Kyle was smarter. If experience had taught him anything, was that he was going to use his knowledge of his previous lives to stop Connor at every cost and keep whatever sanity Jane Connor had left in her, intact.