I was awoken by the morning sun as it glistened through my curtains. Lights shattered across my room. The sun meant nothing anymore. I'd seen it rise and fall so many times it was just another part of my non-existent life. It used to mean something though. It would mean the start of a new day. A day where I could see him.

Its been almost 4 months since Ed-I mean he left, along with the rest of the Cullens. I can remember the day he said goodbye as if were yesterday.

***Flashback***

Edward was waiting at the door of Charles house. I had the strangest feeling at that moment. Edward had been acting weird for the past few days and he had said that he wanted to 'talk'. I got out of the truck and slammed the door. I slowly walked over to where he stand perched up against the door.

"Hi" I said reluctantly.

Edward grabbed my hand a dragged me off into the forest. We weren't far in when he dropped my hand and walked towards a tree. He leant against the tree gathering is thoughts.

I was about to walk over when he began to speak.

"we're leaving Bella"

It only took a moment to understand who he meant be 'we'

"I'll come with you" it was the only thing I could get out of my lips.

He turned around to face me, his expression hard.

"you can't come where we're going bella. I don't want you to come." That struck a nerve. I felt a jolt of pain shutter through my body.

noticing my change in expression edward pushed the conversation further.

"of course i'll always love oyu....in a way but i cant keep the charade going any longer. Im not human, bella" He sturned around to look me directly in the eyes.

"goodbye, Bella" He said with a single kiss upon my forehead. i reaced out to grab his arm but he was gone. all that remained were a few swaying leaves.

***End Flashback***

I lay in my bed amongst my blankets yet again. i've been this way ever since he left. I see no reason to get up and have a life if it not be with him. The gaping hole in my chest burned on. It burns with ever memory of him that i ponder over. Its a burn i have come to love.

This morning seemed odd, diffrent. I felt as if a wait had suddenly been lifted.

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For the first morning in months i actually got out of bed and out of my solitary room. i didnt even bother changing or try to make my self presentable. That i still saw no point too.

I dragged myself down stairs trying not trip over my own two feet. I very nearly fell down my stairs but i grabbed on to the railing. That got me thinking, maybe it wouldnt be so bad if something did happen to me.

After my little encounter with the stairs i made my way to the kitchen. The house empty, silent. My footsteps echoed of the walls. As i made my down the hallway i glanced over to the clock as i passed it. It was 7:30am. Charlie must be at work. Charlie had pretty much given up all hope on his daughter. After all there was barely any of his daughter left.

I entered the kitchen and walked to the kitchen table. As i sat down i glanced over at the clock yet again. Five minutes had passed already. It didnt really matter. Time meant little to me now. It means little when it leads no where.