Her

She'd starred at the door in front of her for god knows how long, but couldn't bring herself to open it. She knew it would be the last time she'd step over that threshold into her beloved bar.

She hated it. That feeling of guilt. She shouldn't have done what she had. She shouldn't have taken that damn job to get Bunny out of trouble. Her mother, that really didn't deserve her help.

Hank had wanted to give her an out. She knew that. And she knew that she probably needed it. That didn't mean she wanted it. Intelligence was her family.

She'd understood why Antonio left. It was the same reason she left for that Taskforce almost two years ago. It was an amazing opportunity. And this new job was too. Only difference this time: she didn't really want it.

She was startled by the sound of footsteps behind her. "Aren't you going to go inside? There's not much to drink out here!" She couldn't help but smile and turned around to look at the man. "Hey, Will. I, uh, I was kinda lost in thoughts. Sorry" She smiled again, but this time it wasn't as genuine. This time it didn't reach her eyes.

"You okay, Erin?" He was frowning and there was concern in his voice but she just nodded and reached into the pocket of her jacket. "Would you do me a favour? Can you give this to Jay, please?" She handed him an envelope and he had a feeling that it didn't mean any good.

"Sure. But why don't you give it to him yourself?" he asked. She looked at him and he couldn't quite read what it was that had her eyes glace over. "Because he'll hate me. And I can't see that look in his eyes" her voice was quivering with emotion. "Tell him I'm sorry" She whispered. And then she was gone.

--

Half an hour later she was back at her apartment. It's been a few months since he left and she still wasn't used to calling it hers again. She'd loved having him there. Waking up beside him each and every morning. Him being the first and the last thing she saw every day. And now she wouldn't have it ever again.

She felt the tears creep their way to her eyes, but didn't allow herself to let them fall. She knew if she started crying right now she wouldn't be able to stop. So she took a deep, unsteady breath and pulled her suitcase from under the bed.

She opened the closet, ignoring that half of his clothes were still in there, promising her that he wasn't gone for good and took a pile of t-shirts, blouses, jeans and underwear to stow it tidily in the suitcase.

She was just about to close the doors when her eyes caught something that made her breath catch in her throat.

It was a sweatshirt. One, that had been more hers than his since he'd moved in with her. One, that reminded her of better days. Of long nights on the couch with Chinese takeout and some crappy movie that didn't make sense at all but they didn't care because they were together and that was all that mattered.

She grabbed it. Holding it close to her face, letting his scent fill her nostrils. She closed her eyes. Until back then, she didn't know that a sweatshirt could make her feel so safe.

She looked at it, then pulled out one of his t-shirts before piling both pieces of clothing on top of her clothes and closing the suitcase.

She took shower. Willing the warmth of the water to erase the bad memories of the day. She just wanted to forget everything and go back to that time three months ago where there was no Abby and no marriage and no Bunny and no problems with her job. To that time where she was perfectly happy with everything for the first time for god knows how long.

Under the steam she finally let the tears fall. Sliding down the cold tiles of the shower wall to curl into a ball on the floor. Heart wrenching sobs shaking her small form. At this moment she wanted nothing else than for him to be there.

--

The next morning she was woken by a very persistent knock on the door. She thought about ignoring it and just staying where she was, hoping that whoever it was would give up some time. But they didn't.

So she groaned in dislike and stood up. Her hair was probably a mess and she was wearing nothing more than one of Jay's t-shirts and a pair of panties but she couldn't care less.

Opening the door she was more than surprised to see Hank standing in front of her. She sighed at the sight of him and turned around, letting him decide if he wanted to come in or not.

She went back to the bedroom, putting on a pair of sweatpants before moving back to the living room and sitting down on the couch, motioning the man standing next to the item to do the same.

She'd avoided that couch for weeks after he left. It was what had brought them back together. The thought of that just hurt too much to bear so she stayed long enough at work or at Molly's to get tired and go to bed as soon as she got home. Well, she wouldn't have to worry about that anymore.

"Why did I let her blackmail me to take a job I don't want?" she asked. He pulled her into his side and felt her hide her head in his leather jacket. She closed her eyes. Hank Voight had been her safe harbor since she was 15 and right now was one of the many times she didn't know what she would do without him.

"If there had been another option you know I woudn't've talked to Spencer. You needed an out and they wanted you!" his rough voice was thick with emotion. Hank wasn't one to express his feelings but he'd always been open to her. "I don't know if I can do it" she murmured, her body trembling.

He pulled her even closer. She pressed her face against his shoulder, letting him protect her just once more and released a shuddery breath. "You can do everything, Erin. You've reached so much. I couldn't be more proud of you. Maybe it's not gonna be easy and you'll have to work hard, but you can make it work kid."

She let go of him and reached for the dog-tag with his fingerprint lying on the coffee table. She closed her fingers firmly around it. It was probably the most meaningful gift he'd ever given to her, aside from giving her a place to stay when she needed it most.

He grabbed something from next to him and handed her a paper bag. She couldn't help the smile that crept its way on her face. She opened the bag and took out one of the croissants before handing it back to him and taking a bite. He'd known she'd need something for breakfast.

They ate in comfortable silence, but he kept eyeing her cautiously. "Okay what's going on, Hank? You keep looking at me like I'm going to break any second" she snapped at him.

"You talk to Halstead yet?" He suddenly asked and it caught her completely off guard. She wouldn't have expected that question coming from him. But than again, she probably should have.

Hank knew of nothing more than him moving out, but he'd seen them at work. It was so obvious that something was off. "No I haven't. I, uh-" she paused for a second. Gathering her thoughts. "I gave Will a letter for him. I couldn't... I couldn't have looked into his eyes to tell him I'd be gone in like two or three days. He'll hate me"

Hank had once said that she'd left behind many broken hearts. This time, it was her own that was broken.

"He's married" she confessed and it was the last thing he'd expected to hear. "to some girl he knows from his time in the Army. He said it was a 24 hours Vegas thing and that he'd signed the divorce papers as soon as he'd gotten home. Seems like she never did. He only told me after I asked him who that girl was that kept calling him. I thought he'd tell me some time, but he didn't. He would've never told me, Hank. And then that night I'm coming home and his keys are there and I walk into the bedroom and there he is. Packing his duffle bag, telling me he's going to Will's for a "little while" 'cause he's gotta sort some things out. I told him to stay but he left and the only thing he'd said was "I'm sorry""

She was a sobbing mess, like she had been that night. Hank pulled her back into his arms and for the first time in her life, she wanted those arms to be someone else's.

A/N: Okay, hi guys. This is my take on what happens after that frustrating season finale. If you want this to make sense you gotta forget that last scene at Molly's. It never happened in this story. Jay never called Erin. Alright? Perfect. So, this story was kinda easy for me to write and I am so happy about that 'cause I finally wanted to write again.

Please leave a comment and tell me what you think.

As always: each and every mistake is mine but tell me if you find any nonetheless.

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