I've been wanting to do a CB story for ages, and I finally got around to it this morning, I wrote it in twenty minutes, so I'm sorry if it's not so good. Reviews are appreciated!
Everything about Blair's apartment was expensive; it even smelt expensive thanks to the bespoke air freshening system that was fitted into the air conditioner. The nanny was expensive – very expensive – Serena made fun of Blair because her nanny lived with them and took care of all the messy, smelly parts of bringing up children while Blair was free to enjoy the nice bits – making cookies together, taking them shopping for tiny, cute clothes, talking them through their homework ever so slowly, ever so patiently – Blair was fully aware that she would be a raging wreck of a mother if Gina wasn't on hand day and night. But still, it wasn't like she didn't have enough on her plate.
She worked as a high-profile buyer for Barneys, making sure they had the most beautiful pieces that would sell the best, she loved her job and she was good at t, better than good, she was the best.
She'd been offered promotions plenty of times but she's always turned them down on the premise of her family, the truth was she was terrified that she wouldn't be as good at the next job as she was now. Blair was a big fish in a small pond – but lakes scared her shitless.
And it wasn't like Nate was ever home to help her, she thought of him now and realised she couldn't remember if he was in Berlin or Bangkok, in the beginning she had missed him but not anymore, and she didn't think the girls missed him either. Audrey and Holly were like little Blairs, their clothes and mannerisms were identical to those of Blair's, and although they were only seven and five, they seemed a lot older most of the time.
Blair got up and picked up her handbag. She called the driver to make sure he would be waiting for her when she got down there. The girls were at Serena's house, playing.
As she got in the town car, her cell phone buzzed, and she looked at her text. It was the first time she'd heard from him since Christmas – it was July now - and her stomach still twisted uncomfortably as she saw his name there. Nate still talked about him all the time, they met up apparently, whenever Nate was in London – where he now lived. He had a wife and a son – Blair strained for a moment – Amelia and Bartholemew, those were their names
The text was simple. "Palace. My suite. Tomorrow. 7 o'clock." She didn't text back, she'd long since learned not to text back. A little smile crept onto her face, she would see him tomorrow, as soon as tomorrow.
The town car stopped and Blair sat, disorientated for a moment before she realised that she must be here. Composing herself she got out of the car and strode over to Serena's front door. Serena and Dan had a townhouse together, not just an apartment but an entire house, the street wasn't quite as respectable as Blair's but Serena didn't care, she had four kids and space was much more important to her than anything else. Dan was a writer, he had a string of best-selling novels and Serena produced art house films whenever she had time, which wasn't often. She rang the doorbell and was buzzed in almost immediately and taking off her shoes at the door – the Humphreys didn't like shoes in their house which meant that there was invariably a tangle of shoes by their front door, Blair placed her Loubourtin shoe boots on the other side of the door, keeping them separate from the midden of loafers, sandals and Manolo Blahniks – she strode into their living room. She almost laughed out loud, the place was a total mess, Serena had them building cities out of a strange mix of building blocks, Lego and Barbies. Audrey and Holly's district was neat a d well-planned with long, sweeping avenues and tiny square where – Blair assumed – the girls imagined there would be boutique stores and tiny, exclusive restaurants. Sylvia and Euan, on the other hand had created a mess of a metropolis. Dan was the first to notice Blair, he was sitting in his armchair in the corner, surveying the scene, and with, as always, his laptop on his knee, writing, a baby monitor at his side, the twin of which was, presumably, by Lilian and Grace as they slept. Serena looked up from the floor when he said her name and smiled, she looked utterly ridiculous, her hair was all over the place and she was on the floor on all fours, helping Euan – who was only three – make a skyscraper.
"Blair!"
Blair came over and sat down delicately on the floor next to Serena which was quite a feat considering the tight pencil skirt she was wearing, in contrast, Serena wore a simple white linen playsuit and sat cross-legged now, putting her arm around Blair as Euan played.
Blair reached across and ruffled Euan's dark, curly hair, he looked up to her with big dark blue eyes and giggled. In looks he was a carbon copy of Dan, apart from his eyes.
"I love your skyscraper buddy," Blair told him, she had a soft spot for Euan.
"It's uncle Chuck's!"
Serena glanced to Blair and saw her smile freeze and her eyes brighten, she squeezed her shoulder and whispered in her ear.
"Let's got get some yoghurt in the kitchen." Blair nodded, still smiling
Serena silently handed Blair a tub of yoghurt and tiny bone-handled teaspoon, taking one of each for herself as well and considering Blair carefully as she took a dainty spoonful.
"Nate told me he was coming to the city."
Blair swallowed deliberately.
"Nate tells you more than he tells me."
"When are you seeing him?"
"Tomorrow."
"I'll take the kids."
Blair tried to say thank you but the words caught in her throat and she put her yoghurt down on the counter and put her hand to her mouth, her eyes almost spilling. Fifteen years ago Serena would have put her arms around Blair and held her and reassured her, but Serena knew Blair too well now to be that sympathetic.
"You've made your own bed . . . "
Blair took control of herself, gulping the lump in her throat down and looking up to Serena fiercely and interrupting her.
"I'm lying in it."
There was a pause and then . . .
"Where did you get that shirt?"
------
Blair arrived at the Palace Hotel, exactly on time. She was never late for these meetings and she never admitted to herself that they really happened. She stopped briefly at the concierge desk, but the concierge staff knew Blair by now, they'd been waving her into the lift for fifteen years now
The elevator ride seemed to last forever but when she reached the top she saw him there, as handsome as ever and she felt sixteen instead of thirty-five. He stood up. She walked to him. He put his hands on either side of her face and she put her arms around the small of his back and they pressed their foreheads together, lips almost touching, breath tickling each others faces.
And she kissed him.
------
She sat at the dressing table after, redoing her ace as he watched her, fully-dressed already from the armchair.
"I should go." She said.
"We need to talk."
"I've got to pick the girls up from Serena's."
"Things need to change."
"And then we're all going out the dinner together, us and the Humphreys."
Pause.
"Blair."
She turned to him.
"Please, don't make this harder for me." Tears pricked at her eyes and she struggled to hold them back.
"This isn't enough for me."
"Me neither, but this is what we chose. You have Amelia, and I have Nate and we have kids and we live thousands of miles from each other. This is how we made it and it is what it is and we accept it."
His eyes narrowed and he stood up.
"Maybe you, but not me. I can't survive like this, on one or two fucks a year. I want you, all of you."
She paused. His face hardened. "I never thought you could be so passive."
She sank into her chair.
"I'm sorry this is how it is for us."
He started, looked taken aback, he obviously hadn't expected that, and then the hurt hit his face.
"In that case, I don't want you."
He grabbed his jacket, and started to loo for his cell, flustered. It was the first time Blair had ever seen him flustered.
"Don't be like this."
He wouldn't answer her, he wouldn't look at her.
She got up and tried to touch his face, to hold him, he shrugged her off, and crossed the room to look in the drawers. She sank onto the edge of the bed and the pearly tears rolled down her cheeks silently.
He found his cell and opened the door to leave.
She tried one last time, crying out his name in a great, desperate sob and he stopped, turned and seeing her sitting crumpled in on herself on the bed he went to her.
"Things can change." She told him. He kissed her forehead.
"Things are going to change."
He clutched her sobbing frame to his stomach and she wept into his shirt, streaking it into the white material with happiness that everything would change forever but that there might be the slightest chance that it would all end up okay and that she would be happy.
She sobbed his name repeatedly repeating it like a mantra as he held her head and stroked her hair.
"Chuck."