Title: On Needless Worrying
Prompt: Day 3: Living Together (Seblaine Week 2013)
Summary: After his relationship with Kurt disintegrates after living together, Blaine is reluctant to make the same mistake with Sebastian.
Pairing: Seblaine, brief Klaine, mentions of Niff
Word Count: 1,828
Rating: PG
Warnings: Not Kurt-friendly. No character bashing, but this is from Blaine's point of view.
In the end, it's the living together that ends his relationship with Kurt the second time. Blaine had been excited when Kurt and Rachel had offered to let him move in with them for his freshman year at NYADA. It had been great at first, having Rachel and Kurt to guide him through his first few weeks of living in the city. And then Adam moves across country for a part, and he and Kurt decide not to do the long distance thing. The night Adam leaves, Kurt comes knocking on his makeshift door and crawling into his bed, and Blaine doesn't have the heart to turn him away after everything they've been through together.
After that night, Kurt never gets around to leaving, and it only takes a few weeks for it to really hit Blaine that they are living together. Sure, they had technically been living together for months now, but for some reason, it all feels real now, and serious. They never call themselves boyfriends, but Kurt sleeps in his bed more nights than not. And really, that's where the problems start. For all that he was willing to marry Kurt in high school, Blaine knows that he isn't the same person he used to be. Living together now quickly becomes a fight, a clash of their expectations against reality.
Every fight is worse than the last. At first, they fight over the state of their apartment. Kurt likes things to be spotless and in order. Blaine likes his things neat too, but some days he feels like he should be allowed to leave his things around his room wherever he wants them without the judgmental curl of Kurt's lips. The first time they fight about it, is the first night Kurt spends in his own room since Adam left. The next day, Blaine surprises everyone by refusing to apologize. He and Kurt give each other the cold shoulder until it seems ridiculous, but even when they go back to normal, neither of them have forgotten it.
The fights become more frequent after that, and in Blaine's opinion, more ridiculous. It seems like he and Kurt fight about everything after that first fight. It feels surprisingly good to hold his ground, and he finds that he relishes the surprise in Kurt's eyes every time he doesn't immediately back down and apologize. But why should Blaine always have to be the one to apologize? Even if he does, he isn't going to get a proper apology in response; he never has. Besides, he's slowly realizing that no matter what he does, Kurt never really forgets anything he feels wronged by either. And Blaine is increasingly struggling to keep up with how their fights descend from clothes left around the house to Blaine once again stealing Kurt's spotlight, or the guy that had walked home with Blaine that one Friday a month and a half ago.
It's a startling realization that Kurt still looks over Blaine's shoulder. That it's been over a year since Blaine had cheated, but that Kurt still didn't trust him. And Blaine starts to wonder if Kurt will ever trust him again, or if Eli will always be a card Kurt keeps to throw at him when he doesn't get his way. So when the time comes to renew their lease, Blaine thinks that he should probably get his own place. Kurt is, obviously, furious and the resulting argument seals Blaine's determination to leave, the echo of Kurt's ultimatum ("if you run away from this problem, Blaine, you might as well run away from this relationship!") seals the end of their relationship.
He winds up crashing on Wes Montgomery's couch for a few weeks. Blaine tries his best to get out of the way as quickly as possible. He's sure that his presence is not only unexpected, but also detrimental to Wes's already fragile sex life. But it's hard finding an apartment that has room, is within his budget and doesn't require him to cross the city to go to classes. Eventually, Wes takes pity on him and suggests he moves in with Nick. Blaine is reluctant at first, with everything that happened with the Warblers senior year, but he has no choice in the end.
Living with Nick is actually the best he's felt since he moved to New York. He expects it to be awkward, but it seems like college has changed everyone, and living with Nick reminds him of the glory days at Dalton. Moving in with Nick turns out to have an unexpected perk in the form of Sebastian Smythe living across the hall from them. When Blaine moves in, Sebastian is standing in his bedroom door, the same old easy grin Blaine remembers, holding a plant.
"A house warming present," he says, handing Blaine the plant. "Welcome home, Killer."
And he sweeps past Blaine, who is still gaping stupidly at him, back to his own apartment. From there, it becomes almost normal to find Sebastian in his apartment. Sometimes, Wes joins them too, and Trent, who turns out to be Sebastian's roommate finds his way over too. Their weekends usually feel frighteningly familiar, like Blaine could just close his eyes, and he'll be back in a dorm room at Dalton in the navy blazer that's way too small for him to wear now but that he can't bring himself to throw out. Sometimes, he does close his eyes and picture what his senior year would have been like if he'd taken Hunter's offer to go back to Dalton. Sometimes, when he opens his eyes, he finds Sebastian looking at him like he knows exactly what Blaine is thinking of, like he understands.
No one is really surprised when Blaine and Sebastian get together. It's nowhere near as dramatic as anyone would have suspected that it would be in high school. Blaine is crashing on Sebastian's sofa for the night while Jeff visits from Chicago. It isn't an unfamiliar position. Blaine spends a lot of time in Sebastian's apartment when he's feeling a cooped up in his own. Sebastian locks the front door and starts turning off the lights. He catches Blaine by surprise when he kisses Blaine smack on the lips before he turns off the lights in the living room calling a good night over his shoulder. It takes Blaine all of three seconds to get over his shock before he's sprinting after Sebastian. He spends that night in Sebastian's bed, and every night afterwards.
It remains like that for the next two years. Blaine goes to classes and meetings and work and comes home to hang out with Nick. By the end of the night, Sebastian will find his way over to their apartment, usually with Trent in tow. Eventually, they'll get tired and Blaine will head over to Sebastian's to sleep. He's very careful to leave in the mornings, and to spend as much time as he can at his place. They are decidedly not living together, and it works. Right up until the end of senior year.
Senior year brings a lot of changes for their group. They all graduate. Blaine quickly gets a part in an off Broadway production, while Sebastian continues his education at law school. Trent finds himself a job after graduation too, and it's enough for him to get his own place ("so I never have to hear you and Blaine having loud sex ever again," he says when he moves out.). Nick winds up getting a job in Chicago, and he and Jeff quickly make plans to move in together. Blaine and Sebastian are happy for their friends, but it doesn't change the fact that they are both too poor to pay rent on their own.
"Move in with me," Sebastian breathes as he and Blaine lie in bed together the night they get back from Chicago.
"Don't be crazy," Blaine laughs back.
Sebastian is suddenly quiet before he asks, "What's so crazy about it? You sleep here all the time anyway."
Blaine sits up on his elbow. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean that we're ready to move in together."
"Why not? Neither of us can afford rent on our own. It wouldn't be hard to move your stuff in here. And you won't have to worry about finding a new way to commute to the theater."
Blaine really hates it when Sebastian uses him as courtroom practice. And his reasons seem small and childish in the face of Sebastian's logic. Sure, moving in together is probably what killed his relationship with Kurt, but it isn't fair imposing patterns from his old relationship on his new one with Sebastian. And really, that is his only reason for not wanting to move in with Sebastian, isn't it?
So Blaine does the only thing he can do and says, "Okay," quietly.
Sebastian helps Blaine move all of his stuff across the hall. Most of it goes into Trent's old room due to the sheer necessity of the space it takes up. It takes all day to move Blaine's things, even if it is just across the hall, and that night they wind up collapsing onto Sebastian's bed without "christening" Blaine's new room, as Sebastian had suggested that morning.
Blaine's nerves don't fade when he moves in with Sebastian. He watches apprehensively for any signs that the move has negatively impacted their relationship. He's sure that Sebastian knows something is wrong, but he seems content to let Blaine come to him if he needs it. And there are days that make Blaine panic. Days when he comes back to find that Sebastian has left his shoes exactly where he knows Blaine will trip over them. Or days when the power goes out because Sebastian has forgotten the bill amongst the pile of other papers he has. Days when they scream themselves hoarse, and the neighbors bang on the walls and Blaine actually sleeps in his own room.
The first time it happens, Blaine wakes up with a sore throat and Sebastian standing in his doorway with breakfast and an apology. Blaine knows how hard it is for Sebastian to apologize for anything, and his heart jumps to his throat when he realizes that Sebastian is trying for him. He finds that he doesn't mind apologizing himself after that because he knows that if they talk about it, Sebastian will meet him in the middle. Blaine isn't sure when he stops looking for signs that their relationship is falling apart, but he's sure that day is a huge leap towards it.
They live in that apartment for another four years before Sebastian graduates from law school. They come back to their tiny apartment that night, kissing passionately.
"I think we should get a new place," Blaine says between kisses.
"I think we should get married," Sebastian replies.
In the end, they do both, and Blaine can't bring himself to be worried at all.