AN: Another just-for-fun fic. It's not a masterpiece, it's meant to make you laugh.
I'm very fond of Yuffie. :D
--
Cloud first noticed that Red XIII looked down when he slunk past with his head low and his eyes downcast, his flaming tail dragging across the ground.
"Hey," the group's leader called out half-heartedly, raising a hand in a 'stop' gesture. The wolf-like creature paused and glanced over his shoulder, looking ashamed. "What's wrong, Red XIII?"
But the dog merely shook his head and continued on, sighing in despair. Cloud frowned and shook his head; there was nothing more that he could do if Red didn't want to talk about it...
Tifa and Aeris frowned in concern as they watched Red XIII go bumbling by.
"Something's wrong with Red XIII," the last of the Cetra said matter-of-factly, nervously fiddling with the bracelet around her wrist. Tifa nodded in agreement, watching as Red XIII's pink tongue shot out and ran over his lips - repeatedly.
"Maybe he's stressed," she suggested. "I had a dog that used to lick itself when it was stressed out."
"Maybe so," Aeris said thoughtfully, putting a finger over her lips. "He always gets kind of mad when I pay attention to him, though..."
"I just think he doesn't like getting his nose patted," Tifa suggested.
"Well, either way," Aeris continued, "I don't think he wants us to try and help."
The two women watched the guardian of Cosmo Canyon continue on, his posture slouched.
Cid Highwind shouldered his spear, scowling at Red XIII as he slunk by.
"Lickin' is a nasty habit," the pilot said matter-of-factly, grunting irately upon being ignored.
"He's right, y'know," Cait Sith offered, patting the head of his stuffed Mog affectionately. "That's why I don't do it!"
"Hey, ain't you a robot?" Cid demanded of the cat, quirking a brow. "Y'don't lick 'cause y'can't. You ain't foolin' me."
Red XIII sighed and rolled his eyes, lashing his tongue out of his mouth and running it over his lips. Oh, they had no idea.
"Hey, foo'! What's up with Red XIII?" Barret called to Cloud, resting both his hand and gun-arm on his hips. "All day he's been sulkin' around, lickin' at his jaws - an' it's drivin' me crazy!"
Cloud shrugged. "I don't know, Barret. He doesn't want to talk to anyone about it." He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. "Everyone's been complaining, but nobody wants to do something about it."
The two watched Red XIII wander until he disappeared into the forest, and they both sighed heavily in defeat. At least he'd decided to do his moping elsewhere.
Vincent observed silently through narrowed eyes as Red XIII walked by. He was carrying himself with an air of shame, it seemed, and his tongue flicked in and out of his mouth incessantly, serpent-like. Curious, indeed.
"Red XIII." Vincent called out to him in a tone that sounded more demanding than questioning. The canine paused and glanced back to watch his cloaked comrade's approach. "Something is bothering you."
Red XIII sighed, turning to face Vincent. He could trust him, right...? He glanced left and right to ensure that nobody was listening before opening his mouth to speak.
"... Yuffie tricked me into eating a peanut butter sandwich," he said, his voice heavy with remorse - and the peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth.
