Summary: Yui Hongo is on the verge of suicide when a chance encounter with fashion photographer Nakago changes her life. But is she ready to move on or will her obsession for the past ruin everything? YuiNak, YuiTasuki, minor YuiTaka.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fushiigi Yuugi. They are the creation of Yu Watase.

Rating: T rating may go up in later chapters.

Poise

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Prologue

"Yui? Where are you? Hurry up baby girl, I have to leave. My interview's in half an hour! Come out and have your dinner!" Nuriko rushed around the apartment getting ready. She checked on the microwave oven every few minutes.

Yui screwed her eyes and clutched the blade tightly in her hand. It won't take long, she told herself. It won't hurt if you do it quickly. Stay focused and plunge it in, and then the pain will stop. She tried to block her cousin's voice out. Stop calling me. Please stop. I want to end this. I want to disappear. You're not letting me do that, just stop. She looked up as her cousin kept calling her name again and again. This is so wrong but I have no other choice. I can't go on living like this. This has to stop.

Nuriko looked towards Yui's room. What is taking her so long? She's going to make so late, what is with this girl these days? Deftly weaving past the kitchen island Nuriko peered into the microwave; dinner was almost done. She slipped on a mitten and yanked open the door of the microwave. Setting the casserole down safely on the table she glanced towards Yui's door once more. She walked over and knocked loudly on the door.

"Yui! I'm leaving. There's a casserole on the table. It's ready to eat. I'll be back in a couple of hours alright? She turned around to leave but something made her stop in her tracks and turn around. She knocked again, a little more softly this time. "Yui?"

Yui drew a ragged breath. She focused once more on the blade and how close it was to her flesh, a few seconds more and…it would be over. She shut her eyes and pulled the cold steel towards her wrist again. She stopped. She stared at the metal for what seemed like a long time, and then threw it away. The beads of sweat that had formed on her forehead slowly slipped down the length of her face, dropping on the cold floor of the bathroom. I can't do this while Nuriko is here. I have to let her leave first. She stood up shakily. Her legs threatened to collapse under her. She walked towards the door with jerky steps and clasped the doorknob, holding it tight as if she were trying to absorb strength from it. Pulling the door open, she stepped out of the bathroom and walked through her bedroom, hurriedly opening the door to find her cousin pulling on her coat. The older girl looked faintly surprised.

"Well there you are! Finally." Nuriko pulled her purple hair out from under her collar. She adjusted her scarf, tying it at her neck in a fashionable twist. Her long purple hair and her beautiful face never failed to turn heads. Nuriko was a heartbreaker. Men and sometimes women too, were drawn irresistibly to her. Lost kittens, lost causes, ugly vases and even uglier paintings had a knack of following Nuriko around. It was as if they knew instinctively that they would find sanctuary in this girl's heart and home. Nuriko had a habit of carting home artistic catastrophes created by poor artists sitting outside subway stations. She often masked them as weekly presents for her cousin, Yui. Nuriko had convinced her aunt to send Yui to stay with her when she learned about her acceptance at a prestigious Tokyo prep school. Having Yui with her allowed them to spend more time together and also sent a more important message to her own parents, convincing them of her ability to survive alone in the big, bad city.

She turned around, facing Yui. "Well? What do you think?" She twirled around, holding her arms out. Yui forced herself to smile and keep her voice steady.

"You look great, as always."

"Don't I? I think this scarf really complements the skirt, what do you think?" Nuriko started admiring herself in the mirror. All things considered, modesty was not a strong personality trait for her. Yui moved closer and drew her arms around the older girl, resting her head against her shoulder. Nuriko stilled and turned her attention back to her cousin.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

"Nothing." Yui lied. It was strange. She could lie so effortlessly and convincingly now. But then, she'd been lying to herself for months now. "I just want you to get this job. Best of luck Nuriko. I love you."

"I love you too, honey," she pulled her into a tight embrace and dropped a kiss on her head, "don't worry, I'll get the job. Shit I'm late. I had better get going." She grabbed her purse and keys, stepped into her high heels and rushed out the door, slamming it shut behind her. Yui sighed in relief. She was about to return to her room when the door opened again. Nuriko stuck her head inside.

"Hey! I made dinner. Eat up!"

"I will! Go already!"

"And no wild partying while I'm gone, No booze, no Taka!"

"I am not going to do anything like that, would you please go?"

"Yeah, bye honey!"

Yui bit her lip. Nuriko was gone. She was alone now. There was nothing more left to do. Nuriko would be sad, she would cry angry tears for a few weeks and then she would forget. She would get married to her amazing fiancée and have a lovely life, like she deserved. She had already written her a letter, apologizing for what she was about to do.

She shut the door firmly and locked it. There was such an air of finality about the act that she no longer felt any more trepidation. The bathtub was full. She didn't bother to take her clothes off. Stepping into the cold water, she shivered slightly. The water enveloped her body like a grave. She offered no resistance to the temperature save for a few convulsions. Everything was still and silent.

How did this happen? This wasn't her plan. Her life wasn't meant to end this way. But everything fell apart, as if something or someone possessed her and led her to making mistakes that threw her world completely out of joint. She had descended into a lull where her life was looted of happiness, joy and innocence, and she had done this willingly. She felt so empty, bereft even of the anger she should be flinging at Taka. But how could she? The mistakes were hers. She had created a fantasy and tried to live it. But life doesn't work that way. Fantasies are fantasies because they are unreal and meant to remain that way. If you try to pull that which shouldn't happen into life, you end up like she was – screwed. She dropped her head back and looked at the ceiling. A crack ran all the way from one wall to the other. She was that crack. She was that sliver that had forgotten that every mistake has a price. And the mistake of misjudging love has the highest price of all.

She was too vain to believe that he'd ever leave her. She had walked into a relationship that was a disaster with her eyes wide open. All she had thought about was him. She let an infatuation control her mind, her body and her life. She was helpless in front of him, and unfortunately for her, he knew it. Taka knew all he had to do was snap his fingers and she'd come running to him. She closed her eyes and slid under water.

"Taka! Stop! You're drunk!" She pushed his hands away. He laughed softly, his eyes heated and languorous. He stepped back, eyes never leaving her face. She bit her lip and breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly the dress felt too revealing, the cramped space where they were standing too constricted and Taka close, too close for comfort. She self-consciously wrapped her arms around her body, pulling her sash together. She nervously looked at him. He wasn't smiling. He just stood there and stared at her.

"I think I better go home." She mumbled, scared Taka might hear, scared he might not. She glanced at him, nothing. She turned and started to climb down the stairs when a hand caught her elbow. A warm breath tickled her ear, "I'm not drunk. Just…stay…for a while." She shook her head to refuse. Taka came closer. He gently pushed her against the wall.

"Taka, I can't. I have to go."

"Have to? Do you want to go?" He clasped her hands gently tracing circles into her palm with the pad of his thumb. "I…" He brushed his lips against her neck, his hands dropping to hold her body. He reached behind her neck; gently massaging her tensed muscles while his other hand drew her closer. She pressed her hands against his chest to push him away but stopped as his mouth descended on hers, plundering her lips gently at first then with greater urgency. Somewhere between the pleasure of the kiss, she came to her senses and tried to push him away again. Taka grabbed her hands and pinned them behind her back. Her protest melted as his tongue traced slow patterns on the roof of her mouth. He let her hands go, his fingers stroking her arms gently. They broke away, panting. Her back touched the wall again. He slid a finger under the strap of her dress and slowly pulled it down her shoulder while his lips caressed her neck. She was a little shocked. This was unexpected. She felt as though she was standing outside her body, a mute spectator looking on as Taka maneuvered her into acquiescing to his desire. Her head was telling her to move and stop the madness, to tell Taka to stop but somehow her body had turned traitor. It refused to listen to her instead it danced to the tune of Taka's fingers.

She should tell him to stop. She wasn't ready. She didn't know him that well. She was too young. Thoughts kept racing through her mind. This feels so good. A soft moan escaped from her lips as Taka slowly nibbled on her earlobe, his fingers splayed across her back.

"Yui?"

"Hmm?"

"Should we leave?"

"Yes."

They stumbled down the stairs and out on to the street. Still entangled in each other's arms, they stopped a cab. Drunk on each other, they laughed as Taka struggled with the lock . Once inside, Taka walked towards a bar at the end of the drawing room. Yui looked around carefully. She had never been to Taka's apartment before. It was…well…a bachelor pad, which was obvious. Metal, glass and leather everywhere.

"Make yourself at home. Drink?"

"No thank you."

"Such a good girl." He teased. Yui stuck her tongue out at him. Taka laughed. He mixed a drink for himself then abandoned it when he saw her standing in front of the French windows taking in the view. He ran his eyes over her frame hungrily, slowly dragging his teeth over his lower lip. The view was breathtaking. The city dazzled with a thousand lights. Yui turned to him. Her eyes were shining.

"It's so beautiful."

"Not as much as you." He leaned closer, wrapping his arms around her. She looked at him skeptically.

"Really?"

"No. I say that to all the girls."

"Hey!"

"Just kidding!" He laughed. "No, really. You…are so beautiful," he pulled her towards a door, "especially at this moment." He deftly opened the door behind him. Pulling her forward into a kiss, he kept moving till they hit the bed. A wave of nervousness hit her again. "Taka…"

"Relax. It'll be great. Just…relax."

Her eyes widened as he gently pushed her back. When her head touched the pillow, she felt his hands sweeping her sides as he lay next to her. His lips claimed hers. Yui closed her eyes and let the wave of sensation and desires sweep her away. The night passed away in learning the contours of each other's bodies. The slick dance of lovemaking left them both completely spent. As she lay in his arms, half-awake, half-asleep, Yui looked at him and softly spoke,

"Taka?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." Taka's eyes snapped open. His mouth opened slightly. He glanced down to look at her but Yui had slipped into slumber. He stroked his hair gently and frowned.

"Shit."

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Her eyelids fluttered open, slowly letting the light of the morning filter into her sapphire orbs. She held her hand up to shield them from the light. After a few moments, she propped herself up on her elbow and looked around. She sat alone on the bed. The bedclothes were rumpled and on the floor save for the solitary white sheet that was wrapped around her body. Her dress and heels were lying there along with Taka's shirt. She opened her eyes wide and touched her forehead as the magnitude of last night's event hit her. She had spent the night with Taka, had slept with him.

And now, he was nowhere to be seen.

Oh God, what do I do now? What will I tell Nuriko? And Mom? Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. The door opened. Yui snapped her head up, clutching the sheet tightly around herself. Taka stepped in. He was dressed. A mischievous glint lit up his eyes as he watched her. "And me without my camera."

Yui stared at him. He walked over and sat down next to her. "Good morning sleepy-head." He kissed her forehead. Yui looked at him in confusion. "Taka…"

"You were so amazing last night." Yui looked down. A chilly feeling took hold of her heart. These weren't the words she was expecting. This gave her no comfort whatsoever. She began to dread what he would say next.

"I would never have guessed it was your first time. You were so unbelievable." Yui stared at him, shell-shocked. Her heart felt like someone ran over it in a truck. Taka had reduced one of the most monumental events in her life to just sex. He was telling her what a great lay she had been. She had never felt so cheap. He's acting like I'm some slut he's going to tip for being "amazing" and "unbelievable". Hot tears sprung from her eyes and she started to cry uncontrollably.

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"What're you getting so mad about?" Taka watched as Yui furiously looked for her purse.

"I can't explain it. If you don't even get it, I can't explain!"

"This is crazy, Yui!"

"No! I am the one who was crazy, just stay away from me!" She slapped his hands away when he tried to hug her.

"Yui. Stop this, where do you think you're going?" Taka tried to catch hold of her arm so she would slow down.

"Don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me." She glared at him. Taka frowned, anger setting into his eyes.

"No? Well you sure as hell weren't complaining last night."

Yui spun around to face him. "Don't…don't talk about last night, ok?'

"Why not? We both wanted this, so you can stop acting like I forced you into something you didn't understand." He crossed his arms across his chest and stared at her furiously.

"I didn't want this…"

Taka rolled his eyes. "Oh please. Why didn't you stop me last night? You knew what would happen when you came here, so please don't act like a prude now."

"…"

"You know what, forget it. We could have been so good together if only you hadn't sprouted a sense of morals overnight. But it's not worth the effort to fight over. You wanna leave, go right ahead."

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Taka I love you. She cried, begged and pleaded for him to stop but he didn't. He just kept walking. Further and further away from her. He didn't even want to fight for what they had. She hadn't meant anything to him.

"You are so beautiful Yui." Then don't leave.

"You were so amazing…" Don't leave.

"We could have been so good." Don't leave me.

The water rushed to her head. She buckled but forced herself to remain under the water. An acrid feeling ran like fire through her nose exploded in her head. Her body felt heavy and her eyes tired. She could feel life ebb away slowly. But then her arms started thrashing around as her body's survival instinct kicked in and fought against her. She gasped, inhaling an enormous quantity of water. Everything was so quiet. It felt as though all sound was being erased slowly. The world shut off in that instant. It was over.

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Author Notes

Well what did you think? Please leave me a review. If there's something you want to ask, let me know. Oh and yeah, this is the BEGINNING. The story is just starting!!!!