This author does not own the "Atomic Betty" franchise. This story was written for personal amusement.
June 2004
JGAF Moose Jaw
North American Administrative Area
"Thank you for coming, Dan."
Daniel Parker smiled as he shook the outstretched hand of the Air Force Major.
"Just doing my job, Major. Is the low-frequency radar acting up again?"
The Major – a Han Chinese in his mid-40s - nodded. Daniel Parker sighed.
Low-frequency radars, by virtue of their long radar wavelengths, are highly sensitive, and can generate detectable radar returns even off stealth aircraft. Unfortunately, such highly sensitive radars also pick up clouds and rain, generating substantial amounts of clutter, making the returned radar data difficult to interpret.
In theory, the AN/TPS-97 low-frequency radar's powerful signal processing software would efficiently strip away clutter, allowing enemy stealth aircraft to be tracked with ease.
In practice, the AN/TPS-97 was a temperamental beast, generating false positives every time it rained and misinterpreting flights of friendly F-22s as thunderstorms.
And this particular radar, stationed in the prairielands of North America, was more temperamental than most.
A young Air Force radar operator waved the duo over.
"Sir, we've got an event!"
Daniel Parker, the Major, and the operator huddled around the screen.
The operator was the first to speak.
"See. There it is again. This blip comes in about twice a day, at irregular times and intervals. It follows the same trajectory every single time. It comes in, stops here for around fifteen seconds, and then it zips right off the radar screen. It's obviously not an actual contact – if there were something moving at fifty klicks per second over this town, it'd glow brightly enough to outshine the sun. It doesn't look like a software problem – there are over a hundred radar sets like this one across the Pacific, and none of them have reported a contact like this."
Daniel Parker looked at the Major.
"Looks like an actual contact to me. Are you sure nobody's flying anything at fifty klicks per second?"
The Major chuckled.
"Well, if we did, I couldn't tell you, but I asked, and this has nothing to do with anything we may or may not have. For starters, the only way we could get something up to that kind of speed would be to chuck it off a nuclear pulse rocket* coming in from Jupiter or Saturn, and I'm sure those don't brake into orbit twice a day."
Dan pulled up a diagnostics screen, and started to run a new software routine he had designed specifically for the problem at hand.
"Well, I'll take a look at the software, then I'll take a look at your radar setup and run a few new tests. Again. Then'll I find nothing, recertify the radar, and file my report with the company branch office."
The Major laughed.
"You crack me up, Dan. How are things at work?"
Dan nodded as he plugged in his diagnostic module.
"Going well, Jim. You guys buy a lot of stuff from Applied Scientific, so there's a lot of stuff that breaks in new and unusual ways. Don't have to worry about the company downsizing the branch here anytime soon."
The Major nodded.
"My unit's getting new aerospace defense lasers. Bleeding maintenance nightmares… How's Noah?"
Dan smiled.
"My son's doing well in school. He got a prize for coming first in Science last year. Gets along well with friends."
The diagnostic routine ended, and the Major, craning his head to look at the screen, snorted.
"Okay. As expected, nothing wrong on this end. I'll take you to the phased array. You'll never guess how I camouflaged the thing this time…"
END