Title: Chaos Theory

Author: Cassandra Mulder

Rating: PG

Feedback: I love it almost as much as money, and I'm not getting paid for this, so please respond? ;)

Classification: Gilmore Girls; L/L

Spoilers: "Raincoats and Recipes", "Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller"

Written: September 22 - 24, 2004

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. It all belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, Hofflund/Pollone, and the WB. No infringement is intended.

Summary: Sooner or later, everything falls apart. L/L

Distribution: My site, Bound, anyone else, ask and ye shall receive.

A/N: Would you believe this literally sprang forth from a Weebles commercial? Yeah, I don't know how that happened myself, but as long as the muse is back, I don't care where she gets an idea.

Closing time was rolling around as Luke swept the diner floor, and proceeded to wipe down the counters. It was all very routine, except unlike every day, week, month, or year before it, he hoped to go see Lorelai when he was finished. He could go see Lorelai, because she knew how he felt, and she felt the same way. It was like an enormous weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he was finally free.

He was just putting away the cleaning supplies and dimming the lights when he heard a rattling at the door. Walking closer so he could see out into the night, he realized it was Lorelai, and she seemed to be having trouble even grasping the doorknob.

Luke unlocked the door, and pulled it open. Apparently she'd been leaning slightly against the door, so she almost literally fell into the diner, and would likely have hit the floor if he hadn't caught her around the waist and stood her upright. He had no idea what was going on with her. She didn't look injured, but she was having trouble standing.

The answer hit him like a ton of bricks when he stood right in front of her, trying to hold her up by the forearms. She was smiling dreamily at him, and he could smell the alcohol on her breath.

He groaned. "Lorelai, what have you been doing?"

"What do you mean?" she replied innocently.

He slipped one arm around her waist and tried to guide her to a table where they could sit down. "You're a little wobbly there, don't ya think?"

She stumbled slightly, walking alongside him. "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down!" she exclaimed, bursting into a fit of giggles.

"Oh, man," Luke muttered under his breath, as he pulled a chair down with his free hand, and set it on the floor. "Sit," he ordered calmly, and she plopped onto the offered seat like a bag of rocks.

She was being uncharacteristically silent as he pulled down a chair for himself, and sat, their knees almost touching.

"All right, Lorelai, you want to tell me what you've been drinking? Or better yet, why you've been drinking?"

"Mmmm..." she wrinkled up her forehead, trying to think. "Two beers, part of a bottle of wine I found in the f-fridge, and... I think there were some wine coo- coolers in there somewhere, but I don't even remember buying them."

Luke ran a hand over his eyes, adjusted his ever present cap, and sighed. He'd never seen Lorelai really drunk, so he had no idea what it took to get her there. Two beers, part of a bottle of wine, and an indefinite number of wine coolers evidently.

"Okay," he said patiently. "Now you want to tell me why you tried to go on a college-style bender?"

"I never went to college," she said sadly, pouting now. "Not real college."

He really had to get her to focus. So far she was a happy and sad drunk. If he wasn't careful she'd get him even more confused than she did when she was sober.

"Wait here just a second, okay? I'm going to put a pot of coffee on." He just hoped that she hadn't become immune to the stuff, as much as she drank it.

He was back in a second, and he took her hand as she sat there slightly dazed. "Lorelai?"

She snapped to attention. "Huh?"

"How did you get here? You didn't drive, did you?" he asked worriedly.

"No, of course not. Friends don't let friends drink and drive, and if I'm not my friend, who is?"

Luke rolled his eyes. "You weren't watching commercials while getting drunk, by any chance?"

"What? No. Why would I do that?"

"Nevermind," he said, finding it hard to hold onto his patience at this point.

Lorelai leaned forward, and put both of her hands on his thighs, looking him straight in the eye. "You have beautiful eyes. Has anyone ever told you?"

"Uh, thanks," he said, picking up her hands and holding them tightly. "You wait right here, and I'm going to get you a cup of coffee, and you can tell me what's wrong, all right?"

She nodded firmly, and he all but ran to retrieve a cup of coffee.

When he came back, she had scooted her chair closer to the table, her elbows were propped on it, and she had her chin in her hands.

Luke sat the coffee in front of her, and she practically pounced on it. She gulped while he waited, and when she was about halfway through the mug, she set it back down. Lorelai looked at the coffee, at him, then back to the coffee, opening and closing her mouth like she didn't know what to say.

"What's wrong, Lorelai?" he said softly. "It's all right, you can tell me."

"But I can't. It's a secret. It's a secret, and I have to keep it, and it's killing me."

Luke frowned, wondering what in the world could be so wrong that she couldn't tell him. He'd noticed that she seemed a little distracted lately, but he figured it was just because of the inn, or her parents, or Rory being away with her grandmother. They'd seemed to be doing fine so far with their evolving relationship, so he didn't understand what was bothering her

"Are you sure? You know you can trust me." He was trying to be good at the whole comforting and encouragement thing, but it was something he was still working on. Something he'd probably be working on till the day he died.

"Rory schlept with Dean," she blurted out. He winced at her slurring, torn between what she'd just said, and getting more coffee into her.

"Oh," was all he could manage at first. Suddenly he wondered how she'd lasted this long with that information pent up inside her head.

"Yeah. Oh," she said, and started guzzling her cooling coffee again.

"And then she went to Europe."

"Yes, because running away's always a good idea."

"I'm sorry, Lorelai, I didn't know."

"No, don't be sorry, Luke. Of course you didn't. I didn't tell you, because I wasn't supposed to tell you. But I know I can trust you to keep this secret. It won't matter in a little while anyway. Lindsay will probably find out, and then all hell will break loose in my very own backyard. My daughter will be the modern day..." she paused, the alcohol coursing through her body making it impossible to think too much at once. "Oh hell," she finally sighed. "Fill in the blank with your favorite famous adulteress. I'm too tired to think of one."

"You want some more coffee?" Maybe if he could get her sober enough they could have a conversation she'd actually remember in the morning.

"Yes, please."

He left to get her a refill, and when she received it, she only sipped it slowly, instead of gulping it down. He never understood how she gulped hot coffee anyway, unless her insides had become numb to the pain after so many years.

Luke wasn't a religious man, but right now he was wishing to God that he knew what to say to her. She'd told him her secret, but he didn't want to pry by asking anymore questions, and he simply hadn't figured out what his boundaries were within this relationship yet. He'd felt they were on steady ground, at least until now.

Finally, he settled for scooting his chair around to rest beside hers, and he put his arm around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, obviously glad for the comfort. If what she had just revealed hadn't been so serious, he might have been amused that she wasn't much of a talker when she was drunk. At least it was another bit of information he could file away and use if he ever wanted to shut her up.

After a few minutes, she lifted her head and looked at him, teary-eyed. Luke ran his hand to the back of her neck, and pulled her gently forward, kissing her forehead before pulling her completely into his arms. They sat there like that for a few minutes, Lorelai in his lap, her arms around his neck, crying softly into his shoulder.

When she finally leaned back to look at him, she kissed him soundly on the mouth, then smiled.

"Are you gonna be okay?" he asked, trying to wipe some of the tears from her face.

"I'll be okay. Except for the hangover I'm going to have tomorrow," she said with a groan.

"You know, Lorelai, if there's anything I can do..."

"I know, Luke. I know. But you're doing all you can do right now, and it's helping. I'm just sorry I came stumbling in here like the town drunk. I feel so stupid."

"You're not. Everyone cracks under pressure sometimes, Lorelai, and you've had a lot of it lately. The whole town probably saw you weaving your way from your house to here though," he teased.

She covered her face with one hand. "God, I hope not. I can see the Stars Hollow headline in the morning - 'Local innkeeper and single mother, driven to drink by her home wrecking daughter, has torrid affair with diner man'," she snickered.

"That's not really funny," he said. It really wasn't, but if there was one thing he knew about Lorelai Gilmore, it was that she had a sense of humor about just about everything. He'd never really expect this to be any different.

"Which part? The drinking part, the home wrecking part, or the torrid affair part?"

"Okay, everything but the torrid affair part. We could make that true, except you need to go home and sleep this off."

"Argh," she said, and climbed off his lap back onto her chair.

"I didn't say you had to go now," he said, disappointed at the loss of contact.

"I don't, I just need more coffee. Please?" she asked, complete with puppy dog eyes, even though she knew they were unnecessary.

He refilled her mug once again, and when she was drinking happily, he got up the nerve to ask a question.

"Do you know what you're going to do about Rory?" he asked, somewhat uncomfortable. It really wasn't any of his business as far as he could tell, but he had to say something.

Lorelai shrugged. "What am I supposed to do? She's a grown woman, regardless of whether or not she's acting like one, and there's nothing I can do. Well, except for go over the long list of things I must've done wrong as a mother. That I can do."

"Don't do that, Lorelai," he said firmly. "This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with both of those kids making the wrong decisions. Starting with Dean."

She looked at him quizzically.

"Lorelai, Dean married Lindsay even though he was well aware he was still in love with Rory."

"And you know this because..."

"He crashed here the night of his bachelor party."

"Oh. You never said anything."

"Well, I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell you, but the next morning I couldn't find you. I ran into Rory, but I definitely didn't want to tell her, so I just suggested that she stay away from the wedding."

Lorelai just stared into her coffee cup in silence.

"Are you mad?" Luke asked cautiously.

Her head snapped up. "Oh. No, I'm not mad. There's nothing you could've done, really. Nothing I could've done if I'd known. It's not like either of us could've convinced him to make the right decision. What's sad is I feel bad for Lindsay. I don't think either of them ever stopped to think they were hurting someone else. What is she going to do when she finds out? Dean led her on, and the only crime she ever committed was being too young to be married. This is a disaster," she sighed.

"You said it yourself, Lorelai, Rory's a young woman now. She's going to have to deal with this herself."

"I know. I just hate it. I hate that she's mad at me, that she's gone. That she's treating me like Mommy Dearest."

"It won't be that way forever."

"I know." She smiled at him slightly, and he gave her a puzzled look.

"You know I suck at this," he said, in reference to his comforting skills.

"But you're so cute when you're trying," she said with a mischievous grin. "And you don't really suck at it. You underestimate yourself, and the comforting powers of your mere presence."

"Thanks. I think," he said dryly.

She took his hand and squeezed it. "You know, now that I'm almost sober," she started with a giggle, "I realize that I have to accept that there are things out of my control. I am not Wonder Woman. Hell, I'm not even Super Girl. I can't follow my daughter around for the rest of her life, making sure she doesn't get into trouble. Not that I wouldn't if I could figure out how to do it without her seeing me, but I can't. This letting go thing has been a real bitch, and this Dean thing isn't making it any easier.

"But maybe she's depended on me too long. I spent her whole life sheltering her so she wouldn't make the mistakes I made, and yet she turned around and did something worse. How was I supposed to see that coming?"

"You couldn't."

"Exactly. She's never really had to be completely independent like I was at her age. I've always been there. And it's not like I'm going to cut her off or disown her, but she has to realize I can't fix everything for her. She's mad at me for telling it like it is, but I think she's mainly mad at herself for letting things go that far in the first place, because she knew better. I raised her better than that."

"You did. No arguments here."

"Good. I couldn't add an argument onto this night." She paused. "Also, I have a chaos theory."

"Chaos theory?" he asked, hoping she wouldn't make him regret the question.

"Sure. The minute you think everything is fine, and your life is going great, then BOOM! Everything falls apart. Chaos thrives on happiness. It lurks kind of in the background till everything gets really great, and then it just blows your world to pieces."

Luke nodded. "Isn't that Murphy's Law?"

"No, no. That's anything that can go wrong, will."

"Okay. And there's a difference?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Because I say so."

"That's good enough for me," he said.

"I thought it might be," she said with a wink.

"I better take you home, crazy woman, before you get into any more trouble."

"Me? Trouble?"

"Trouble is your middle name, and you know it," he replied, getting up and putting the chair back up on the table.

"Huh. I could've sworn it was Victoria," she responded cheekily, getting up to join him.

Luke took her hand and led her to the door, locking up once they were outside. Then he opened his truck door for her, and helped her inside, as she was still slightly unsteady. There was comfortable silence on the short drive back to her house, and when they arrived he got out of the truck and came around to get her door for her.

"You are quite the gentleman, Luke Danes," she said as he took her hand and helped her out of the truck.

"You can thank my dad for that."

"I wish I could," she said as they climbed the porch steps, arms around each other.

When they got inside, he swept her up in his arms, and started carrying her upstairs to the bedroom.

"Whoa, did I just fall into a romance novel?" she laughed.

"No, this isn't going to go anything like that," Luke teased. "I just don't want you to fall down the stairs and break something."

"Aw, man," she said, in mock disappointment.

Once they were upstairs, he carried her into the bedroom, and sat her down on the bed. She was already in what would pass for pajamas, so he pulled the covers over her as she laid down, and leaned over to kiss her goodnight.

"Stay?" she asked sleepily. She was coming down off the alcohol, and starting to realize how tired she really was.

"Not tonight," he said, with the slightest hint of a smile. "I want to, but I'm afraid I might take advantage of you in your state."

She laughed and squeezed his hand before finally letting it go. "Goodnight, Prince Charming," she said with another giggle.

Luke all but snorted at that. "Night, Lorelai. I'll see you in the morning."

He slipped back downstairs, and out the door, locking it behind him. She was the craziest thing that had ever happened to him, but also the best thing. There was nothing in the world he would trade her for. He was going to make her see that she didn't have to keep secrets from him, that they were a team now, and he would do anything for her. Tonight was the first step, and he was hoping they had the rest of their lives to take the next.

Finis