Hermione sat in the Library on a bright and shining day.She had brought her muggle Ipod after asking Dumbledore to lift the charm for a while.He agreed.She set it down and continued to read her book.

An hour later,Hermione packed up her things and left the Library.What she did not know though,was that she had left her Ipod on the table.Who should find it but Draco Malfoy? Draco Malfoy walked into the Library on the bright and shinging day and sat down at the table Hermione previously occupied.He took out his books and set them on the table.He opened his book and was about to read when something caught his eye.

"What the bloody hell...," He picked up the rectangular device.He examined the little black screen in the center.What was this? He pressed a button on it.As if it was on fire,He dropped the device once it lit up.Slowly he picked it up.He heard this little buzzing sound and lifted the small round things with tiny holes on it.He lifted it his ears.

"My bum is on the rail
Bum is on the rail
Look at Me
My bum is on the rail..." Draco listened to the song all the way through.

"This must be a muggle music maker," He told himself.He listend to the song again.The more he listened to this "Bum Bum song" the more he liked it.He pressed a button and began to dance.

My bum is on the rail
Bum is on the rail
Look at Me
My bum is on the rail

Draco danced his way through the corridors of Hogwarts.Many passing student laughed and jeered but he heard nor saw no one.He walked,no, danced outside and down the steps.Suddenly he began to rub his finely toned arse on the rail.Anyone who saw this either stayed and went in hysterics or ran away before they fainted.Draco continued to rub his arse on the rail.

My bum is on a man
Bum is on a man
It's alot of fun to put your bum on a man

Just then,an unsuspecting Severus Snape walked by a crazed Draco Malfoy rubbing his bum on the rail.Severus stopped to watch in disgust as the next part of the song came into play.Draco suddenly jumped back and rubbed his fine arse on Severus.Severus was so startled he backed up into the wall.As it was, Draco Malfoy was grinding his arse on the man.

My bum is on a step
Bum is on a step
Don't fall down the steps you might hurt your bum!
(Insane Laughter)

Severus finally gained the strangth to push Draco off him( though he was beginning to enjoy the little dance).Draco,lusic filled with music, rubbed his arse on the steps.He bumped and grinded and rubbed and slid across the steps.He began this maniacle laughter.

"WOO HOO! HA AH HA AH YEAH!! WOO I love my BUM!!"

And thats not very fun
If you fall down and hurt your bum
I like to put my bum on things
It's fun for everyone

Draco stood up and danced some more.He bent down and put his hands on his knees and moved his arse up and down very fast.He then began to hump the air.He took out his wand and conjured various items: Spoons,bowls,maps,toy brooms,pots,needles,chairs,dolls,perfume,make-up,hair gel,books,wizards chess,pillows,socks and,well, you get it. He rubbed his nice little bum on spoon and sprayed the perfume.He sat on the pillows and danced with the brooms.He liked to put his bum on things.

My bum is on the cheese
Bum is on the cheese
If I get lucky I'll get a disease!

Draco walked,no, jammed all the ay to the fourth floor.Professors ogled at the student.Just as Draco turned the corner,Hermione walked past him.

"Has anyone seen my Ipod?"

Draco danced into the kitchens.Dobby the house elf held a piece of cheese on a platter to send up to the Great Hall.Unknowingly,Dobby left the cheese on the table...that Draco now rubbed his arse upon.He grinded his fine bum on that piece of cheese good.He might get a disease.

"Oh no! Malfoy boy has now ruined the cheese!" Dobby yelled.Draco did not hear.Draco danced back into the corridor...just when Seamus Finnigan walked by.

My bum is on the Irish
Irish,Irish,Irish

Draco moved his bum from side to side.Seamus tried to get away but he was unsuccessful.Draco rubbed his bum on the Irish boy.

My bum is on the gum
My bum is on the gum
I can blow a bubble with my bum bum bum

Draco,once Seamus was scarred for life, took out his wand and did a charm.A big pink bubble was blowing from his arse.Draco danced and danced and danced away.He made his was to the great hall.

My bum is on the ship
The battleship
I hope they don't shoot the cannon in my bum
I'd shoot POO all over the place
POO POO!!

Draco danced away to the rest.He raised his arse up and down,side to side.He once more put his hands on his knees and,well, you know the rest.

Cause that isn't very fun
When they shoot a cannon in your bum
I like to put my bum on things
it's fun for everyone
My bum is on the dog
My bum is on the cat
My bum is on the phone
My bum is all alone...

Draco danced his way through the doors,but was stopped by crookshanks.And you should know what came next: Draco grinding his bum on the cat.Crookshanks hissed at Draco and bit his arse.

"OWWWWW!!" He screeched.He rubbed his bum to comfort it.Just then,Fang walked through the doors.He danced over to the dog and rubbed his bum on him.Fang howled and ran away.Draco took his wand and rubbed it against his,um,well I can tell you it wasn't his bum this time.

Draco suddenly stopped infront of the doors.

His bum was all alone.

The rail is all alone
The man is all alone
The Swedish is all alone
My bum...is all alone...
(Loo in the background)

1,2,3,4
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone

It wasn't long before the rail,the man(poor Sev) and the Irish boy,Seamus,were all alone without Draco's finely tones arse on them.Sadly,Draco walked into the Great Hall for lunch.He listened to the rest of the song.As he walked on by,students were staring at him.Everyone had seen his dancing.Everyone was afraid.Draco sat down and listened to the last few lines.

Get the poo off my bum!
I need the POO off my BUM!!
I've go to get the poopoo off my bum
I want to hear the cannon! (Loon in the background)
No, let me hear the cannon! (Loon in the background)
NO NO NO, no, not the loon!
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
My bum is all alone
I WANNA HEAR THE CANNON!
I WANNA HEAR THE CANNON!
I WANNA HEAR THE CANNON NOT THE LOON!
(Cannon Explodes)

As the song went out,Draco looked up to see a very angry Hermione.

"What?" He said.Hermione held out her hand.

"I want my Ipod back." She said.

"Oh this? Ok.I didn't have much fun with it anyway."

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A/N-Lol.I had alot of fun writing this I hope you guys like this! REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE!!