Lust
Despite what they led people to believe, Will and Jem's relationship came about due to lust, not love. Lust, a fair amount of alcohol and very little sleep. Because of course, Will would want to celebrate Jem's sixteenth birthday with what he usually did: a drink. Jem was opposed to the idea, but...Will was Will, and Will always got what he wanted.
One drink turned into two...five...ten.
And the two became more and more drunk, and began to do things they would have never done had they not been drunk (or would they have?). And Will's lips, kissing him with enough force to bruise...and Jem's hands, featherlight in his hair...and the whispered 'I love you's' only made Will's want for Jem grow.
And Will always got what he wanted.
Envy
Jem had always harbored a vast amount of envy for all of the females in the world.
Because they had his Will.
Because they could so freely love him, even if he didn't love them back.
Because it wasn't wrong for them to be in love with him.
Will didn't know any of this, merely thought Jem's obvious attraction was brotherly love, parabatai love...not...love love. But Will had a secret to; he liked Jem.
Maybe it was because of Jem's feminine looks, voice, nature. Maybe it was because they were so close. He didn't know, and he didn't like it one bit. So he envied Tessa Gray for being the one to take what was his.
But Tessa was being used, of course, to get Will to notice. And notice he did. He was jealous, not of Jem, but of Tessa. That she got to be held in his arms, that she got to hold his hand, that she got to comfort him, that she got to kiss him.
He wanted that.
And Jem wanted to be Will's, and Will wanted Jem.
And they envied, and envied, and envied.
Gluttony
William Herondale was a glutton, and his weakness was James Carstairs. Will ran a finger over Jem's slightly parted lips, closing his eyes with a fond smile, remembering how they felt, how they tasted.
Will bent over Jem's sleeping form and brushed the silvery-white hair from his face, then cupped warm cheeks in his hands and kissed him, smirking as he felt Jem stir beneath him and wrap thin arms around his neck, and with surprising strength, pull him down.
"How do I taste?" Will breathed against Jem's jaw, kissing a featherlight trail to his neck.
Jem gasped in a breath, pulling Will closer. "Like honey-" his voice broke as Will's lips covered his.
Who knew burnt sugar and honey tasted so well together.
Pride
"Pride goes before a fall, William."
Will looked up at Jem, a smirk flirting with his lips. "Not in the dictionary."
Pride was what made Will Will. Jem knew this, but even still, was saddened by it. It was pride that birthed Will, and it was pride that would kill Will. It was pride that kept their obvious affections from growing into something more, and it was pride that would ultimately destroy their love.
William Herondale never said "I love you." Not to his parents, not to his sisters, not to anyone. Not even to Jem.
Whenever Jem would say it, Will would huff and look away, a faint flush on ruddy cheeks. Jem knew Will loved him, but...
"Will?"
"Yes?"
"Do you..." Jem took a breath, "love me?"
"Of course I do." Will's eyes were serious, saddened.
Ever since that, Will had been distant, brooding–more than usual–and even lost patience with Jem.
Now, Will seemed...not all there. Like someone had taken his fire and dimmed it so it was the barest spark, barely alive.
And after, when Jem lay his head on Will's bare shoulder, the latter flinched.
"Will?" Jem's voice wavered.
"What."
Jem was taken aback by the harsh tone, but persisted. "I...love you."
Will let out a long sigh and turned to face Jem,kissing him chastely and staring at him seriously. "I love you to."
Greed
Will had not always been a greedy boy. But Jem changed that. It began when they turned fourteen. It was the way Jem smelled, the way he moved, the way he spoke..it made Will want him more. And he became possessive, openly scowling and glaring at anyone that touched his Jem, at those who even looked at his Jem wrong.
Jem noticed, but didn't do anything. Not even when Will kissed him. Not even when Will touched him. Not even that night when Will, seized by an animalistic desire, took him.
Because he loved Will to.
But that only made Will's want grow. He did whatever he wanted to Jem, but still wasn't satisfied. He wanted, and wanted, and wanted. He had Jem, but...it wasn't enough.
No one touched (talked to, looked at) Jem without Will's permission. Jem was his pet. Everyone knew it. Odd that Jem followed Will everywhere? Odd that Jem sat in Will's lap? Yes, but who could do anything about it? Taking the pet from its master never fared well, and an angered Will was something no one wanted to deal with.
Because Jem was always Will's, and in a sense, it was Will's way of showing his love.
Sloth
Will threaded his fingers through Jem's hair slowly and methodically, the latter curled in his arms. Jem let out a breathy sigh and Will looked down at him. He was sad, Will could feel it. And yes, Will did care but...he was tired. A year couldn't be enough. Then it hit him again: the sorrow. Jem was stupid to try and hide his emotions; they were parabatai after all.
His eyelids felt like they were made of lead, and he struggled to keep them open. He was so comfortable, with Jem clinging to him like driftwood in the ocean. Will let his eyes drop closed, thinking he could get some sleep now while it was quiet-
"Will?"
Will forced his eyes open. "What."
Jem didn't answer, just sighed again, clutching Will's hand and shuddering slightly.
"What's wrong?" Will sighed.
"Nothing...jus' tired."
So am I, Will thought. "Still?"
Jem looked up reproachfully. "Unlike you, I'm dying—don't say I'm not, William, because we both know I am—and I tire more easily now."
The words roused Will, and he scowled. "You're. Not. Dying." Will separated each word with a kiss to his forehead, and Jem huffed a laugh, though it was more bitter than anything.
"Yes I am. We both know it."
Silence.
Will returned to stroking Jem's hair and Jem closed his eyes, try to stifle the powerful urge to take another dose of yin fen. It would do him no good now, it would only worry Will more and...
Kill him faster.
"William? I'll miss you, when I'm gone."
"Don't talk like that." Will said it fiercely, tilting Jem's chin up and glaring into silvery eyes.
"But it's-"
"I don't care if its true, it's not now and...I don't want to lose you. I can't."
"Love Tessa-"
"But she's not you. I only want you."
Jem coughed, grimacing as he tasted blood in his mouth, and, with difficulty, swallowed. Will couldn't know how close he was to the end. How he would have to leave...Jem bit his lip and buried his face in Will's neck, hiding his tears."Will...!"
Will moved away and his eyes widened in surprise as he noticed Jem's brimming with tears.
"Will," he whispered, "I don't want to die."
"Oh, Jem. No one does." Will brought Jem's body into his lap and rested the trembling boy's head against his chest. "Ssh...don't cry, it's okay. I won't leave...I'll be right here with you..."
But it only made Jem cry harder. His whole body shook with silent weeping, and Will brought him close and gently wiped the tears from his face, blinking back tears of his own as he heard Jem speak.
"I don't want to leave you...you're the only person I have left and...and...!" he broke off as his voice cracked, then continued, "I...need you..." the last whisper was barely audible, imploring.
"I'll always be there." Will repeated.
"Promise?"
"Yes. Better?"
Jem nodded into Will's neck and he latter sighed. "Finally. Now if you value your life, you'll let me sleep." he shifted, grumbling "a thousand years wouldn't be enough."
Will felt the smile pressed into his neck and could practically hear the eye roll in Jem's voice. "Of course."
Wrath
It was hard to stay angered at an angel for long, but Will was managing it.
Jem's arms encircled Will's waist, but the other pushed him away, scowling.
"Will, what's wrong?"
"You're dying." Will replied tersely, "and I don't know what to do."
"What do you mean?"
Will sat next to Jem, breathing out a long sigh as Jem placed his head in Will's lap. "I want to stay with you as much as possible, but I want to search for the cure."
Jem purred as he felt his parabatai's hand softly, absently, thread through his hair and he stifled a cough before answering. "It's okay...you're my cure. Wo ai ni."
Will looked down at the angel–his angel–in his lap and kissed his forehead gently. "I love you to." Cerulean orbs were tender for once, and Jem severed the sight. It wouldn't be long before he would have to leave his angel.
It was hard to stay angered at an angel for long, and Will couldn't do it.
