Stefan, I…
Stefan, I love you it's just…
Stefan, I don't know what to say…
I don't what to do…
He slept in late that morning; he knew that sleep could not betray him, or least no nightmare could make him feel worse than he did while awake. He awoke in the heat of a dream. Sweat breaking upon his brow and still, he much preferred the dark and lonely abyss of these constant nightmares, than the reality of the salt-stained pillows and the empty space beside him.
He could not fight the lump in his throat or the stinging of his eyes. He couldn't shake off the unbearable feeling that his insides had been turned inside out. He drove down to the falls, and sat upon the grass on the hill just above the river. He once stood here with Elena. She once cried here upon his shoulder. And he now cried here into his sleeve.
I was supposed to grow up…
I was supposed to have a lifetime of those choses and now…
It's all gone…
I don't want to be a vampire, Stefan
He didn't want her to be either. Not like this. She is a stranger to him and to herself. He knew she was tearing herself apart, and he couldn't stand it. And now he had no place to do or say anything about it to her.
But he could not pull her away, or shield her from the inevitable. He could not protect from becoming herself. And she didn't deserve that.
xxxxxxxxxx
She woke up early that morning. She could not suppress the nightmares of his face. Taunting her. Reminding her just what she had done. She never meant to break his heart, and even now she can see the hurt in his eyes. And even now she is a little broken too. She got up and left a note for Jeremy:
"I'll be out for a little while today"
She drove for hours before she had a semblance of an idea as to where she was going. She pulled out to the side of the road and, climbed out of the car. When here she saw a silver and black motorcycle. Stefan's. She didn't immediately turn and run, as she might have thought she would, but instead she saw his jacket, hanging on the handles. She pulled the jacket off, and brought it into her chest as she buried her face in it. And for a precious moment she could smell him. But she broke out of that moment and put the jacket back on the bike. She loved him so much; she had to let him go. Had it been her choice, she wouldn't have wanted it, but he said he couldn't do it, so she had to let him go. She cannot keep him hanging on her dangling thread, as her feelings for Damon are at an all time high. He didn't deserve that.
xxxxxxxxxx
She got into her car and started the ignition. But before she pulled away, a figure appeared by the motorcycle, and ran up to stop her. Reluctantly, she pulled her keys from the ignition, and once again climbed out of the car. She walked over to him.
"Hi."
"Hey…"
"What are you doing here?" he asked, politely.
"Well," she said, her eyes fixed on the ground. "After you showed me this place last year, it kind of became my designated thinking place, while you were gone."
"Oh…what were you hoping to think about?"
"Come on, Stefan." He only looked at her expectantly. "I love you, Stefan. And just because I feel more for Damon, doesn't mean I feel any less for you. In all truthfulness, I feel just as much more for you." She said, and she could already feel the tears working there way out. "But with everything so heightened, I just can't push it aside or ignore it. I'm afraid I might act on it. And you don't deserving having to live with that risk."
After a long pause, he replied. "I love you too." That was all that was said, and that was all that needed to be said.