Sassy: Randomness abounding. This one was also written to make myself laugh and feel better. I love banter. Which is all this is.

Still, I'd appreciate a review.

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"You can't sleep, can you?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"Just can't sleep."

"You're not thinking again, are you?"

"No."

"Headache?"

"Mild one."

"Probably need to take something for it."

"It's not bad."

"Uh huh. So why can't you sleep?"

"If I knew, I'd be asleep by now."

"Hungry?"

"No."

"Thirsty?"

"No."

"Horny?"

"Hell no."

"And just what does that mean?"

"I'm sore as hell. Feel lucking I'm even letting you touch me."

"You love it and you know it."

"My ass is throbbing."

"You weren't complaining an hour ago."

"…"

"Ehh… you sure you're not thirsty? I'll get you something."

"Reno, you move from this bed, and I will tie your testicles in a knot."

"Right. Not moving. Got it."

"…"

"Are you asleep yet?"

"RENO."

"Eesh! Sorry! I'll shut up now."

"Thank you."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Are you really going to shut up?"

"You told me to."

"Since when do you listen to me?"

"Since you've got my balls in your hand. Metaphorically, of course."

"Earlier, that was not the case."

"Why, Cloud, was that a sexual innuendo?"

"Maybe."

"You're learning very well."

"Hn."

"Heh. You really are more perverted than you let people know."

"It's not something one generally exclaims to the world."

"Obviously you've never been a Turk."

"Obviously."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Strife, your cruel words wound me."

"You'll get over it."

"I'm really feeling the love…"

"I'm not."

"No wonder you can't sleep. You're all grouchy, yo."

"I am not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not."

"You are!"

"I'm no-…"

"Haha!"

"The immaturity I just displayed proves that you are a bad, bad influence."

"Oh, poor little chocobo."

"Annoying little bastard."

"Mm hmm. Took you so long to figure that out?"

"No. I just feel the need to remind you some days."

"Thanks for the concern, baby."

"Are you going to let me sleep now?"

"I haven't been stopping you. You're the one arguing with me."

"Because you're infuriating."

"But I'm not stopping you from going to sleep."

"…"

"Eh, Cloud, what are you doing?"

"Shut up."

"H-hey, watch it!" I-… oh…"

"Now you'll know how I feel."

"And – ah – how would that be?"

"Sleep deprived with a pain in your ass."

owari