Disclaimer: I own not Fullmetal Alchemist. :)
I was thinking of putting Ed's dream in the very beginning...but I decided against it. It just didn't fit :P
Edward slowly opened his eyes, greeted with nothing but darkness and the soft light of the moon from outside. He groggily sat up, gazing at his two mismatched hands, remembering how real she felt in his arms.
A dream. It was that stupid dream again.
How many times had he dreamt of Winry since the four years he had been here? Almost every night? It was becoming a nightly routine. One that he would never get used to.
At first he thought that he would be okay. After all, he had his brother by his side again. But how wrong he was. He never stopped thinking of her.
Seeing her automail didn't make it any better. Regrettably, he thought of them as a curse. The light catching metal only reflected as 'Winry' in his eyes, and it gave him an ache in his heart that increased more and more each day. Ed ran his hand over the cold metal surface, grimacing as he remembered how happy she always was when she was working.
The first two years he had been in Munich, Edward had mostly thought of Alphonse. He missed his brother and all they had been through. He feared that him being alive had meant that his transmutation had failed. That Al had not been brought back from the gate.
But then he saw Al's body. His real body, and he knew that everything was okay. If he never got to see anyone he loved again, he would be fine with that. Because Al meant everything to him.
But two years ago, seeing Winry's blushing relieved face, feeling her arms around him, hearing her voice resound in his ears, Edward finally realized just how important she was to him. He realized that she wasn't just a friend anymore. She had grown up into a woman.
When he transmuted the plane to send himself back to Germany, he knew he had to give her up to save everyone. He hated leaving her again. He always left her.
But to him, Winry was his world. So in order to save their world, he had to sacrifice something of equal value in return. At that moment, he realized he loved her.
And ever since then, she was all he could think about.
He didn't need to worry about Alphonse anymore, since he was right there with him. But what about Winry? He wanted to know how she was. If she was okay. If she had found another man, or if she was still there waiting for him. He hated not knowing what was going on with her.
He wished he could see her. To see her long lemon hair, or her soft blue eyes. To hear her voice when she sang; the singing that always seemed to put him at ease. To see her smiling, frowning, crying, he didn't care. He just wanted to see her beautiful face again.
He had told himself that maybe he could fall in love with another girl. That maybe this world's Winry was the same and that if they met, he could grow to love her. But he had yelled at himself for even thinking that. There was only one Winry.
And he would never love another.
He hated feeling like this. He hated that empty feeling in his stomach when he thought of her. He hated the dreams she daunted him with every night. He hated that he wasn't satisfied. He had gotten his biggest wish; to see Al's smiling face again. And yet he wanted more?
Why? Why did he wish to see her? To hold her? To just kiss her? He regretted everything he did or didn't do. He regretted making her cry. He regretted not being there for her when she was always there for him. He regretted not being nicer to her. He regretted never telling her his feelings.
At that moment Edward realized something. His eyes widened, and he buried his face in his hands and cried. He cried for the first in a long time. He cried for the first time since he and Al had tried to bring their mother back. He cried and cried and cried.
And the tears wouldn't stop.
He cried so hard his head hurt. His blanket, soaked in his sadness, darkened with moisture. He told himself, over and over, to 'calm down. Al will hear you'.
But he couldn't. He just couldn't. Because he missed her. God, did he miss her.
Edward sniffed, and in between his sobs he whispered into the cold night air. He didn't even know why he said it. She would never hear him. She would never know how he felt about her, or how his heart ached with each word he spoke. But at the moment he didn't care. He just needed to say the words he would never get to say.
"I love you, Winry."
I had randomly decided I wanted to watch 'Conqueror of Shamballa' this morning. And I thought of this story because I hate how the first series has no EdxWin in it. -_- But in any case, please REVIEW! I know it's not one of my best works, but I had to get it out into words or else I'd forget it all completely. Review, Favorite, whatever. THANKYOU!
