Cerberus operative Miranda Lawson rushed down the ornate corridors of the manor house until she reached her boss's bedroom. She knocked on the large, wooden door. The Illusive Man stepped out and closed the door behind him before Miranda could get a good look; he was smoking a cigarette and he was only wearing his underwear.
"I trust you have a good reason for interrupting me, Operative Lawson?"
"Yes sir," she said nervously, "Commander Shepard's body has been recovered. Project Lazarus can begin as planned."
The Illusive Man rolled his robotic eyes, "Of all the days….."
He reopened his bedroom door and shouted inside: "Okay, everyone out! We'll have to do this another day!"
Out of the bedroom stepped Jacob Taylor, six Asari, a trio of Hanar, Joker, Master Chief, Gordon Freeman, Isaac Clarke, all of the Left 4 Dead survivors, Batman, Catwoman, Harley Quinn, the Wu-Tang Clan, the Sugarpuffs Monster, Dalek Fred, a Sontaran, every single incarnation of the Doctor, Captain Kirk, Spock, a Xenomorph, a Predator, Stewie Griffin, Glen Quagmire, Kang, Kodos, Doctor Zoidberg, Captain Jack Sparrow, Kenny McCormick, Mr Garrison, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, John Mitchell, the Nostalgia Critic, some Catholic altar boys, Tom Cruise, Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Brain Blessed, Daniel Day-Lewis, Wheatley the Personality Core, Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, every single Blue Peter presenter, Harry Hill, Barack Obama, Santa Claus, all of Santa's reindeer, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Russell Howard, Ellen Ripley, Sarah Connor, a giant walking butt plug, Samuel L Jackson, a load of snakes, Mr Bean, Roger the Alien, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, Karl Pilkington, the T-1000, a chimpanzee holding a can of lube, Indiana Jones, Jack Black, Captain MacMillan, Edward Cullen, Tommy Wiseau, Manbearpig, Lindsey Lohan, some Christmas carol singers , Inspector Gadget, the "just one Cornetto" guy, Amy Pond and Graham Norton.
Miranda was scarred for life.