"Do you believe in fate?"
I asked turning to face Ronnie, my best friend since we were eight.
"That depends on what you mean.."
I could tell he knew where I was going with this. He always had a sick way of knowing what I was thinking.
"Ya know, like.. Fate that you and I are friends."
He smiled and shook his head.
"Chasey, you and I both know where you are going with this. I've told you a million times, we'll always be just friends."
I just sighed loudly and sat up, my eyes were already beginning to sting.
"Chase, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."
I just shook my head and started walking away. I heard Ronnie stand up – prepared to chase me. I picked up my pace as the tears started flowing freely. I didn't want him to see how his rejection hurt me.
I ran and ran until I finally stopped at the old playground near my house. It was abandoned by now; no children ever play here since they found that homeless man dead in the tube slide.
I sat on the swings and kicked my feet. My tears had dried now leaving smears of eyeliner everywhere on my face.
I felt pathetic for even thinking Ronnie could fall for me. He always had hundreds of girls surrounding him - the type of girls that look like they should be modeling for some rich magazine. I look nothing like them with my short brown hair, dull hazel eyes, and short stature. I was never the skinniest girl – always ashamed of my crooked teeth and unimpressive smile. I was never the type of girl he could love.
Sitting on the swing, I felt someone start pushing me. I could recognize his touch – it always sent shivers down my spine. It was Ronnie.
I turned slightly and saw him staring down at me, his brown eyes so full of sadness. I wanted to reach up and touch his face, a gentle caress of his cheek to let him know it was okay. But I was never brave enough to do that.
"Chase, I'm sorry. I love you as my best friend. But that's it. Nothing more."
Ronnie said pushing me again. My feet dragged along the ground and I just let my head go limp. I held on to the chains of the swing tightly hoping to choke back my emotions again.
"I know. I get that. I'm sorry I mentioned it."
I barely whispered. Somehow I always lost my voice around Ronnie. I heard him sigh loudly as he pushed me one more time.
"Chasey, babe, you're a pretty girl. You can find someone who will love you back. You can let go of me."
I bit my bottom lip hard causing it to bleed slightly. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. He was breaking my heart.
"I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Chase.."
I looked up at him again; his face was breaking my heart even more. He was serious this time.
His eyes, such a dark brown, were staring back into mine. His gaze always captivated me in a way I could never understand.
His attention held my own for much too long – we stared in silence as if trying to read each other's mind.
Finally, he closed his eyes and shook his head.
"Chasey, go home. Get some sleep."
Ronnie turned his back on me and walked away into the night.