Takes place immediately after the events in the episode "The Curse" in the ever-popular infirmary (or do they call it sickbay? I don't pay enough attention). These are really just some thoughts that were going through my head the entire time I was watching this ep…and the other thoughts were, of course, as always, "Poor Daniel"…anyway, I don't own these characters, and I make no money off this story, and…if you don't know this spiel by now, you haven't been reading much fanfic, have you? J
Realizations
"So," Jack said, sprawling into the chair next to the infirmary bed. "How ya feeling?"
Daniel glanced up and set down the book he'd been reading in his lap. "I'd love a cup of coffee," he admitted, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. He frowned up at the colonel. "I thought you were still fishing in Montana with Teal'c."
"Minnesota."
"Right."
"We came back early when we heard what happened," Jack explained. "Teal'c brought two phones with him. He knows me too well." He paused. "So, you're okay then?"
Daniel shrugged. "Janet's just keeping me in here for observation. Really, I'm fine, Jack."
Jack nodded thoughtfully. He looked around the infirmary, not moving from his seat, his hands folded in his lap.
Daniel waited. "Was there anything else, Jack?"
"What? Oh no. I'm just keeping you company. I don't have anything else to do."
"Oh." Daniel blinked. He put his glasses back on. "Thanks. I guess." He picked up his book again and started reading.
"Oh yeah," Jack said. "Janet told me to tell you your friend—Steven—is doing much better. She's sure he'll be fine. Right now he's still unconscious, but that's because of the drugs they've given him. He should be awake in a few hours."
Daniel paused but didn't look up from his book. "Good," he answered after another pause. He shook his head a little and went back to his book.
"So Daniel," Jack went on suddenly, "what exactly happened out there anyway?"
"Didn't General Hammond tell you? Or Sam?"
"Yeah, so did Janet. I just wanna hear your version."
Daniel sighed. "There's a new Goa'uld out there to kill. That's all."
"Daniel!" Jack snapped in that irritated way of his that he reserved for reticent (or, alternatively, too talkative) archaeologists. "Don't do that."
"Well, what would you like me to say Jack?" Daniel asked with elaborate courtesy that didn't suit the quiet, gentle archaeologist at all. The understated sarcasm was too subtle, too bitter. "You don't want me to actually talk about my feelings, do you?"
"Somebody else you cared about—"
"Was turned into a Goa'uld host," Daniel snapped out the rest for the colonel. "Yes. I know. Another woman I loved was possessed by evil. Happy happy joy joy. It's the story of my life, Jack, or hadn't you noticed?"
Jack stared at his friend. "Don't hold anything back," he muttered.
"You asked," Daniel retorted and slumped back abruptly on the bed, bringing the palm of his hand to his forehead and wincing.
"But you know the worst part Jack?" Daniel added after a moment, glancing up at his friend. "I really wanted to tell Sarah what was going on." He laughed a little. "Thankfully I'm a good little obedient servant to the government and refused to tell her anything, but I really wanted to share our discoveries with someone. Someone from my old life." He looked away. "She said she'd been looking for me—at the funeral. Looking for papers, on the fringe, or research projects, or something. Of course she didn't find anything." He glanced around the infirmary, as if hunting for something. "I can't even tell Steven what really happened to him."
Jack frowned as he listened. He hadn't realized how much Daniel had given up when joining the Stargate project. Years ago he'd already lost any position he could have had in the academic world, but now he could never go back, never tell what he'd found, that he'd been right all along. In the beginning it hadn't mattered, when he had had Sha're to think about, but now…
He'd grown up, Jack realized as he stared at his friend. His short hair made him look more mature, yes, but there was more to it than that. Jack hadn't realized how much Daniel had grown up, changed, over the past few years.
"I'm sorry Daniel," Jack said quietly.
"Yeah, well, so am I," Daniel sighed and closed his eyes. His book fell out of his hands, into his lap. "But there's nothing I can do about it. About any of it. So if you don't mind, I'd like to just read, maybe get some sleep, and just…carry on with my life. Okay Jack?" He opened his eyes again and looked at the colonel.
Jack nodded. "Yeah Daniel." His voice was still quieter than usual. He stood up. "Get some sleep; I'll see you in the morning." He started walking away.
"Jack," Daniel's voice stopped him. He turned back. "Thanks for stopping by," the younger man said. The archaeologist knew Jack didn't like talking about emotions, but his concern for his friend had won out over that in the end. Daniel really did appreciate that.
Jack shrugged, a half-smile on his face that actually made him look more serious than usual. "What are friends for?" he said.
Daniel smiled slightly in reply. "I'll be okay," he told Jack, trying to reassure him.
Jack nodded. "Well, hey, when you get out of here and if we still have some leave," he said, "maybe you can go fishing with me."
Daniel froze, then nodded very slowly. "Right. Yeah," he replied. "I'd…like that. Really."
Jack frowned at him suspiciously. "I'll see you tomorrow Daniel."
"'Bye Jack."
Jack left the infirmary.
Daniel sat back, closing his eyes again. He saw Sarah, standing amid the shelves in the museum basement, saying, "Maybe you shouldn't have come back."
He opened his eyes and went back to his book.