AN: So this is my first published story. I'm thinking it's going to be a one-shot but there's an equal possibility that I will add on, actually that's probably more likely. It'll probably just be awhile before I add anything more if I do. Anywho, this popped into my head after BoO. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own nor am I making money off of the PJO world, all the credit for that lovely universe goes to Rick Riordan & associates.
"We're getting married!"
Those words washed over Nico as everything dimmed to a pitch black. Oh, he knew he'd never stood a chance. Percy was a Hero: confident, kind, selfless. Nico was the scrawny 16 year old son of Hades, a bitter boy from the 1930's, out of his time with serious self-esteem issues even two years after defeating Gaea. But Percy tried so hard to be his friend, and it just made loving him so much worse. He couldn't breathe. He wanted to run. Run away and never look back. He had to get awaygetawaygetaw-
Everything came back in a rush, leaving Nico nauseous. All the campers were cheering for the couple standing in front of the campfire, who were both grinning. Percy had his arm slung around Annabeth's shoulder, and he watched them turn into each other and kiss. A fleeting kiss- barely a brush of lips- but Nico had to keep himself from throwing up as a stronger wave of nausea rushed over him.
He could see a face frowning at him from across the fire. Jason was the only one not clapping besides him. Nico tried to send him a reassuring smile, but he knew it came out as a grimace. Thankfully, Jason couldn't keep his attention on Nico, because Percy was talking to him about being the Best Man and Jason was grinning and clapping Percy on the shoulder and sending worried glances Nico's way.
Nico's attention was focused solely on Percy, taking in his happy grin and bright eyes, and he knew he couldn't stand it for a moment longer. He turned and walked away, starting towards his cabin. A minute later he heard someone running after him and prepared himself to tell Jason he was fine and everything was fine and why wouldn't it be fine? But the person who grabbed his shoulder and spun him around was not Jason. It was Percy.
Nico plastered a grin on for him, still unwilling to ruin Percy's happiness even if it was tearing him up inside. By now there was a mantra going round and round his head. Getawaygetawaygetawaygetaway. But he had to keep focused, just long enough to please Percy and then he could run. Run away and try to forget who he was and how much the Fates hated him.
"Hey Nico! Why're you running off so soon? The party's just getting started!"
Gods, that smile, those eyes, this perfect man in front of him. He could feel sandpaper scraping at the bits of stone that remained of his heart. He smiled at the oblivious Percy, knowing he wouldn't notice the turmoil in his eyes. "You know parties have never been my thing Percy." Antisocial, is what they said; more like shunned. No one wanted to socialize with death boy.
Percy's smile faltered a bit. Nico knew he knew the truth, but didn't want to believe the other campers could be so terrible, so he ignored it. Nico's heart had begun crumbling the day he realized Percy would rather turn a blind eye. 'Nobody wants you.' The voices of the dead whispered in his mind. Nico mentally snarled back at them.
"Yea well," Percy shuffled his feet awkwardly, "If you just hung around, I'm sure you'd find someone to-"
"You know that isn't going to happen." Nico cut him off, eyes a bit colder and smile non-existent. It had been strained in the first place anyway. The dead were getting louder, and he could've sworn he heard the scrapescrapescrape of sandpaper speeding up a bit.
Percy frowned at him before relenting, "Alright I guess, if you're sure. I'll see you tomorrow 'kay?"
Getawaygetawaygetawaygetawaygetawaygetawaygetawaygetaway- "Sure Percy, have fun; and congratulations." Nico couldn't believe he got the words out without choking or falling in a sobbing heap. But the scraping got faster, so he knew he'd done it.
Percy nodded and smiled before turning around and jogging back up to the campfire. Nico watched him go before turning and continuing on the way to his cabin. The voices wouldn't shut up and he knew he needed to get to a safe place before he collapsed. He forced himself to jog the rest of the way.
The moment he shut the door he stumbled, using the last of his will to fall on a bed instead of the floor. The voices were getting louder. 'Getawaygetawaygetawaygetawaygetaway.' –Scrapescrapescrapescrape.- 'Noonewantsyou.' 'Come to us Your Majesty. You're in pain, letusfixyouletushealyou.'
The son of Hades didn't even realize he was screaming "SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!", a continuous mantra he couldn't hear, his mind washing out any other noise he might have heard. He lay there for what seemed like eternity. Then he was being shaken roughly, catching a glimpse of blonde hair before the shock of electricity traveled through his body. The voices quieted, but he could still hear them, the pain was still there. Scrapescrapescrape. He slowly became aware of his body again, and realized he was curled up in the fetal position with his hands clamped over his ears. Tentatively, he uncurled himself and almost groaned at how stiff he was. He'd been screaming for at least an hour.
"Nico?" He heard a familiar voice above him laced with worry, "Nico, are you alright? I'm so sorry I couldn't come sooner. I couldn't escape Piper and Annabe-"
"Jason," Nico interrupted, flinching at how raw his throat was, 'Definitely more than an hour then.' He mused. "Don't worry about it, how long was I out?" Judging from the son of Zeus' grim look, it was a really long time.
"Three hours, give or take." Jason muttered. He turned a concerned gaze onto him, "Nico they're getting worse. This is the longest one you've had; I really think we should talk to Chiron about this."
Nico shook his head, "No, Chiron has seen this happen before. He'll probably just say something about being surprised at how long I lasted. We both know there isn't a way to fix this." 'Not one you would approve of anyway.' He finished off in his mind. Sighing, he stretched a bit more, working out the kinks in his body. "I'm fine now Jason, They're quiet again." "Liar," one of the voices giggled, "liarliarliar." "We can talk about this tomorrow; I can probably sleep for a bit right now if I try."
Jason relented, as Nico knew he would. He was always getting after Nico for how much sleep he got, which was next to none. Sighing wearily, Jason gave him a one-armed hug before standing, "Alright, I'll see you in the morning and we can try to figure something out." He gave Nico a reassuring smile before turning and walking out, back to his girlfriend and the party.
Nico watched him go regretfully. He didn't want the last memory Jason had of him be of Nico deceiving him, but there was no other way. Jason would stop him; well, he would try to anyway. Forcing himself to stop thinking about it, he dragged himself up. Grabbing his backpack, he shoved all the things he thought he would need; his daggers, a change of clothes, his sword, and -scrapescrapescrapescrapescrape- his Hades figurine. 'Bianca, I'm so sorry.' He viciously stomped that thought away. The voices got louder.
Moving to a table next to the couch, Nico grabbed a pen and piece of paper.
Jason, Hazel,
I'm sorry, I couldn't take the voices anymore, especially not with the engagement. I found a way that might stop them, but even if it works I won't return. I don't know what will happen, and so many things can go wrong; but Hazel, I know you'll be able to tell if I'm dead. If I die, you'll already know by the time you find this letter. If I don't, well, try to take comfort in knowing I'm alive. I love you both, and I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you deserved for me to be. Sunt lacrimae rerum et mentem mortalia tangunt.*
Ave atque vale,*
Nico.
The voices were getting louder. Nico folded the paper neatly, setting it gently on the table. He felt an odd sense of attachment to the last words his friends would ever get from him. Grabbing his bag, he started to make his way to the shadow in the corner by the window, and made the mistake of glancing outside. Nico choked; there was Annabeth and Percy, kissing. Percy had Annabeth pressed against the wall, her arms pinned above her head with their bodies pressed together, looking for the entire world the perfect couple that they were.
SCRAPESCRAPESCRAPESCRAPECRACK! Nico felt the remainder of his heart break again. His mind was clouded with despair, the blood in his veins sluggish, weighed down with his misery. He fell into the shadows, willing them to take him to his salvation. Subconsciously, he navigated the shadows, too lost in his mind to ensure he landed in the right spot. The voices were screaming at him, clamoring to help him, to heal him. His soul was shredded, his lungs turned to stone. He couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe, couldn't brea-
Nico stumbled out of the shadows, falling to his knees in front of a rushing river of white. He sucked in a great amount of air, his mind swamped with images of Annabeth and Percy: announcing their marriage, making out against the side of the Poseidon cabin, feeding each other food on a picnic on the beach; and he screamed. Had any monster or mortal been near him, they would have broken down, sobbing. He screamed, his powers flooding the sound with his despair and hopelessness, making it sound inhuman, like that of a dying animal but more. It was a talent of Hades' kids, to be able to share any negative emotion. Beyond the river, he could see Elysium, and saw several blissful ghosts turn and rush towards him at his appearance. "Let us help you! We can heal you! Heal your soul!"
Nico didn't pay attention them, to enwrapped in his desolation to care about the spirits gathering on the other side, unable to cross the river. He snorted at the thought that flew through his mind, 'Why did the demigod cross the river? To get to the other side. What I'm doing is basically suicide, if you look at it the right way. Gods, I am going insane.'
The voices weren't in his head anymore; they were across from him, begging him to let them help their Prince. But the crunch of the remains of his heart, of his soul, being crushed was still there. The pain was still hitching a ride on his blood cells, spreading the fire throughout his veins. He broke down, sobbing and screaming his misery, making the ghosts wail louder.
A few minutes later, Nico collected himself enough to take in his surroundings. He'd made it to his destination, the River Lethe, the river of forgetfulness, his only hope for peace. Ignoring the tears still streaming down his face and the sobs still spilling from his mouth, he crawled towards the river, desperate to forget, to feel something other than despair and to be able to think again. He slipped on the rocks on the edge of the river, ignoring the blood spilling from the cuts on his hands and knees; too desperate to forget to care. Forgetforgetforget.
He used the last of his strength to haul himself to the very edge. He pushed, falling for less than a second. The ghosts wailed louder, the fire burned hotter, images of Annabeth and Percy flashed through his mind: the kisses, the announcement, the love; love that would never ever be his.
Splash! The river embraced him , his mind went blank, and Nico di Angelo was no more.
*"These are the tears of things, and our mortality cuts to the heart." - By Virgil, from the Aeneid.
*Hail and be well
So there it is. I thought of this when I felt pretty melancholy and was thinking of how love can be a curse and Nico and how Hades' kids have a tendency to lose their minds. Again, I might add to this story. Kinda like a 'so this is the aftermath'. I've already got a pretty good idea for that if I go that way, but if anyone's got suggestions I'd love to hear them. Constructive criticism is welcome! But if you're being a jerk just for kicks... For Shame! So I hope you liked the story (depressing as it is), and tell me you're (positive) opinions and ideas?