Day X

My name is Isabella Marie Swan…

That's what I keep repeating myself again and again

My name is Isabella Marie Swan… I am human… I will always be human… and probably soon a very dead human….

Since he left, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't focus, and the worse is I cannot forget him!

Sometimes my mind is clearer, and I just wish I had never met him.

But most part of the time I just keep thinking of him, I keep torturing myself remembering every bit of happiness we had, every moment of bliss I felt, because if there is only one thing that my tortured mind know is that: I cannot forget Him, and I don't want to ! If I do forget, last year wouldn't have any sense. Hell, my life would not have any sense; because when I found him, I found a part of myself that I actually liked, and I cannot let it go. I suddenly seemed to just fit in the world and now that the feeling is gone, it just kills me!

Don't get me wrong, I am actually a smart girl, well I use to be at least. And I know I should just get over it. I mean I am not the only girl in the world to have been dump by a guy, a person that I considered the love of my life, my first love. Indeed I am not the only one with this feeling. But why I am the only one not recovering?

My name is Isabella Marie Swan, I am human, and this is my story.

I fell in love with a vampire.

I know it sound dramatic, and really it looks like an attended suicide said like that but you have to understand one thing, I felt in love with him and at this moment I am still in love with him.

I met him at school. One look and I was hooked... nearly. It took few days actually, but the result is the same, I was forever in love with him.

The thing is, even with him and the rest of his family being vampire, they are decent people, kinder and wiser than most of the human that I know. They are vegetarian vampire, it means that they don't drink human blood; instead they decided to endure the pain of the burning thirst and only drink animal blood. You see, animal blood is a possible diet but it never end the thirst, it just make it dull during a time. And most parts of them are nearly a century old, so imagined... every day of every year of your existence feeling thirsty, that is pure devotion to human kind!

I just felt right with them! His sister was my best friend, his mother was the sweetest person that I know, his father had never ended story, history and fact to tell and the rest of the brotherhood was nice enough to me. That was more than what I hoped for when I first met them.

And I was deeply in love with him but I also loved his family. They became mine.

They save me more than once from my own clumsiness or bad luck.

I have been hunt by a psycho and they took care of him, without hesitation or question they protected me as one of them, they were always here for me whenever I needed them, and even if I did not need them, they were still here, available for me.

And then He dumped me! He dumped me, left me in the wood, and disappeared from my life. And he took his family with him. I lost my love, my best friend, my brothers and my adopted parents when he said those words: we are leaving.

That is my story. Since then I don't have the power to fight. I lose myself in my memory, because memories are the only things left of him, and if I forget Him, I forget them as well. And I can't.