The Mask

by Arai Otome

A fic co- written by Goddess Shinigami. . . Duo is uncertain about things and is depressed. . .Qautre seves as a good friend to help. . .R/R

The Mask
By, Arai Otome and Goddess Shinigami


Duo sat on his bed. Alone. He didn't know what to do. Life had just become too much. He didn't think he could go on. He life was all a mask. Complete happiness and optimism hid the emptiness she felt in
side. There was nothing left in life, nothing worth living for. HE wasn't sure he could go on.

All the pressure had just become too much. Having to risk his life daily for a cause he wasn't even sure of, stress, school, all the death surrounding him, the death his life had become.

But the worst of all of it was the loneliness. The emptiness inside of him, as if he was missing a piece. He wanted love. He longed for someone who would be there for him. Someone who could fill that hole in his life.

He watched Quatre and Trowa together, they just seemed so . . .so . . .happy. They seemed to perfectly complete each other. That was what he wanted. That was what he needed.

Duo closed his eyes as a single tear ran down the side of his face.

His life was meaningless. He had become nothing. All that was left was a mask, hiding his fear, his depression from the world. He pretended to be happy, but it wasn't true. He hurt soo bad.

And he was scared. Scared that soon he would become nothing.  That all that would be left was that shell. That he would no longed be himself, he would just be empty. He didn't want that to happen.

He was so scared of what would happen if anyone ever saw beyond the mask. What they would think. He was afraid of what he would do if the fun side of him was gone. What would he become?

He sank to the floor, tears streaming down his face. He hid his head in his hands as he silently cried.

It was as if his whole world came crashing down around him. He knew he was fake. He had become Shinigami, no one wanted him, and no one cared.

This world was cold and unfeeling towards him. His only light an angel of a friend, Quatre, wanting to make everything alright. Duo tried his hardest to be okay, but Quatre could see through the masquerade he put on.

Duo felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up throught his tear stained eyes to see Quatre. "Look Duo, I know your going through a lot and your trying to put on a show for everyone, but you gotta let go of all of it every once and a while and not care what everyone else thinks if your not fun." he said sitting next to Duo on the floor. "Quatre, I just can't. I've been doing it for so long. I don't know who I am anymore. I need things now that I didn't need when this all started. All I think I can do is wait to see if I can find someone I can be myself with. Find my 'Trowa', my one true love. Then maybe I will be happy." Duo finished with a sob.

"Why can't you just throw this mask away,Duo?" Quatre asked "I just don't know who I am under it. I have been using it soo long, I can't remember who I was before." Duo said hopelessly "Duo, I'm sure you were the same person you are now, except without all the fake happiness." Quatre said comfortingly. "I can't Quatre. I am so insecure about this. What I write to you comes from my heart. When I do anything else, with anyone else, it's controlled by my mind. So untill I can get passed that, I'll have to stay the way I am." Duo said yet again crying into his hands.

"Duo, I will try my best to help you. To make you smile when your down, but you've got to promise me that you'll at least try to bring yourself out of this." Quatre said looking Duo in the eyes. Duo looked straight back at the aqua marine ones beside him. "I promise to try as long as your there to help." Duo said seriously for once. "I will be." Quatre said. Duo leaned his head on Quatre's shoulder. "I love you, Quatre, but not like Spock and Moulder go to the blue oyster bar love. Like best friend in the whole wide world love." Duo said. They both started laughing.

I hope he can help me. I really want to be myself and know who I am. No i know he can help me. If anyone could do it, it would be Quatre. I never want to get this bad again. Someday I'll find myself. Then I can be truly happy. For now though, I'll keep my mask, to shield me from the pain that is to come.  You will be the only one who knows the real me until then. I will tell you everything and life will be somewhat ok. I hope. Duo thought as he and Quatre sat in silence in Duo's room.