A/N: Hello my ever-so-patient few who are still with me. I know I'm lynch-worthy at this point, but please have mercy on me. My daughter had to have another brain surgery recently and I tend to get a bit bat guano crazy when that stuff goes down. I think I have the right since it was her 11th in less than 2 yrs.
On top of that, there's been all kinds of additional RL bullshit that's taken over everything. That being said, I've been having issues writing anything that doesn't end with the anti-christ of non-HEA's. This short little story is sort of one of those.
Ok, so this unstable mess of a story is NM AU (of course) and starts on pg 246 of the book. I bold/italicizedanything that comes from the book to help differentiate where Ms. Meyer's work is versus mine. There's also a recap of the conversation between Bella & Laurent that I've included. It, too, will be bold/italicized.
There is another flashback section of dialogue that will be italicized. Just to be clear, it is in no way related to the other areas of bold/italicizeddialogue that belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
The last bit of this story is kinda effed. It leaves a lot of questions and I did it that way on purpose. Something that may help you understand a little better is listening to the song "Sunny Came Home" by Shawn Colvin. It's the one-song soundtrack to this. . . fuckery. Seriously, listen to the song. It should sorta explain some of where I'm going.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all characters from the Twilight Universe. I've merely given some pyromaniacal tendencies.
I was calmer, but still a mess when I got home. I shuffled into the house and made my way to the kitchen table. There was no way I could make it up to my bedroom. Aside from my body's inability to carry me up the stairs, I couldn't imagine being surrounded by those walls right now.
I fell ungracefully into a chair, propped my elbows on the table and held my head in my hands. Sucking in a deep breath of air in an attempt to keep the tears at bay, I tried to figure out where the hell to go from here while the conversation with Laurent cycled through my head.
Victoria was after me.
.
.
.
"Did Victoria ever find you?"
"Yes. I actually came here as a favor to her. She won't be happy about this."
"About what?"
"About me killing you. She wanted to save that part for herself. She's sort of . . . put out with you, Bella."
"Me?"
"I know, it seems a little backward to me, too. But James was her mate, and your Edward killed him. She thought it more appropriate to kill you than Edward – fair turnabout, mate for mate. She asked me to get the lay of the land for her, so to speak. I didn't imagine you would be so easy to get to. So maybe her plan was flawed – apparently it wouldn't even be the revenge she imagined, since you must not mean very much to him if he left you here unprotected.
"Look at it this way, Bella. You're very lucky I was the one to find you."
"Am I?"
"Yes. I'll be very quick. You won't feel a thing, I promise. Oh, I'll lie to Victoria about that later, naturally, just to placate her. But if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella. . . I swear you'd be thanking me for this."
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.
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I shuddered as I thought about all he'd told me. I didn't know whether to be glad Laurent had been chased off by the massive wolves or not. He was right. At this point, his draining me would have been a mercy if he was telling the truth about Victoria's plans. And why would he have reason to lie? He had nothing to gain from it. A meal maybe, but clearly he was feeding on a semi-regular basis considering the color of his eyes. No, I could feel in my gut that his words were truth.
If only Edward had listened to Jasper. If only I hadn't been so blind.
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.
.
"Carlisle, I think Alice and I should head back to Forks to look for the red head."
Jasper's leonine form stood solid, his legs shoulder width apart. His voice commanded attention without needing to be raised above a muted conversational level. Stoic as always, his face was impassive, but I could tell by his eyes this was a serious matter. He was concerned.
"You really feel it's necessary to track her down, Jasper?" Carlisle asked softly.
Carlisle loathed the idea of killing another, no matter what the circumstances. I understood the hesitance in his voice, but if Jasper was worried. . . .
Jasper's eyes flicked briefly to mine before he looked back to Carlisle.
"I do."
Carlisle looked to Edward for his opinion.
"I don't see why it's necessary to go after her. I didn't hear anything from her to indicate she would pose a threat."
"That was before we killed her mate, Edward," Jasper quickly replied.
"There was also nothing to indicate James was her mate."
Edward's tone of voice puzzled me. I didn't understand why he was irritated with Jasper about this. What's wrong with wanting to protect one's family?
"You're also not an empath, Edward." Jasper turned toward Carlisle again. "I'm telling you, Carlisle, the red head is gonna be a problem. It might not be right away because she'll be in mourning, but eventually she's gonna be pissed. She'll want revenge."
Understanding washed through me. Victoria would come after the family. I was quite sure I'd be at the top of her list for a great many reasons, the two most important being my human frailty making me easiest to pick off and the fact I would be to blame for James' death in her mind.
My mental epiphany must have caught Jasper's attention because he was watching me intently. I saw him nod imperceptibly in my direction. Apparently I had it right.
"What's the big deal in letting Alice and Jasper go back to Forks ahead of us to at least make sure everything is alright?" I spoke up softly.
Edward's eyes were screwed shut while he pinched the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb while letting out a frustrated sigh. When he opened his eyes, he glared at Jasper as though my stance on the issue was his fault. Clearly my question was unwelcome.
"Bella, the problem is Jasper has a tendency to overreact in situations like this. His past . . . upbringing dictates he eradicate any potential threats without knowing if there truly is a threat."
Edward was talking to me like I was a naughty two year old. His tone of voice and need to speak down to me only raised my hackles.
"Without knowing a thing about his past, I don't understand why that's such a problem. Personally, I'd rather not have to worry about looking over my shoulder. I am the weakest out of all of you being that I'm human. And she'd come after me since I'm the reason James is dead, right?" I asked, looking specifically at Jasper.
He stood staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. Some of it was his constant impassivity, but mostly it was the odd light in his eyes that made me question my logic. Maybe my epiphany wasn't as right as I thought. I glanced at Edward and Carlisle and found them to also be staring at me with unreadable faces. I raised an eyebrow at them and then looked back to Jasper, still waiting for an answer. Jasper finally shook his head a bit as if to clear it.
"I believe she'll come after the whole family, but you're right about being most at risk, Bella. Your human fragility makes you a prime target above the rest of us. No offense."
"None taken, Jasper. Truth is truth."
I looked over to Edward and saw that he and Carlisle were having one of their secret conversations again. That shit was starting to piss me off.
I cleared my throat and said, "Would you two like to share with the rest of the class?"
Carlisle at least had the decency to look sheepish, but Edward just pursed his lips in irritation. Carlisle walked over and gently grasped my hand before speaking.
"Bella, you wouldn't want someone to die unnecessarily, would you?"
"Of course not! But –,"
"Then we should really not go looking for trouble," he interrupted. "We can simply wait to see what happens. Jasper could be assuming the worst about Victoria. Perhaps she'll just move on."
Jasper's snort of derision was enough for me to know Carlisle's wishful thinking would likely lead to trouble.
"Somehow I think your giving her the benefit of the doubt is a bit of a stretch. I understand you don't want to end a life if it can be avoided, Carlisle, but is the family worth the risk? Is Esme worth the risk?"
I knew bringing up his mate was a low blow, but he had to understand. I believed Jasper wholeheartedly that Victoria was going to cause some major problems sooner or later.
"You pose the same risk to our family, too, love. You don't see us killing you for that."
Edward's words and Jasper's snarl in response to them brought me up short.
"What – what do you mean?"
"We have a trio of leaders who govern our world. They make the rules we vampires are to live by, love."
"And those rules are?"
"Well there's only one rule, really, and it's that we don't expose ourselves to humans without turning or killing them after. The punishment for breaking that rule is immediate death for all involved."
The velvet tone of his voice and calm way he said them should have softened the blow of his words, but it didn't because he was completely right. I had knowledge I wasn't supposed to have.
"You can't honestly be using that to sway her decision, Edward!" Jasper yelled.
"I'm not using anything to sway her one way or another, Jasper. It's not a competition. I'm merely trying to help her understand," Edward responded innocently.
"There's nothing for her to understand. No one is going to kill her because she's a risk to the family! If you'd just pull your head out of your ass and change her like she's begged, the family wouldn't be at risk!"
"I distinctly remember a family meeting where a majority of us took great pains to talk you and Rosalie out of killing Bella in her sleep because of the risk of exposure she posed."
I gasped at hearing this. I always knew Rosalie didn't like me. I was also smart enough to know there were reasons beyond Edward's telling me of her need to be the center of attention. I never knew, though, that Jasper was someone I needed to be concerned about for reasons other than his being the newest vegetarian.
Jasper sent me a pained look and opened his mouth to explain.
I held up my hand to stop him and said, "Don't worry about it, Jasper. I understand. I've done nothing but bring problems into your lives. My blood calling to Edward put him at risk of exposing your family to humans if he lost control. My falling in love with him and finding out your secret also puts you all at risk from this trio he spoke of. Now you have another rogue vampire who will most likely bring danger upon you all. You have every right to wish me dead."
"Bella, no!" Jasper exclaimed.
I turned away from Jasper's hurt expression to look at Carlisle.
"We'll do it your way. We'll wait it out."
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.
.
Taking my hands away from my face, I let my head fall to the table top with a bang. I was as much to blame for this coming to fruition as Edward was. I should have known better.
With a grunt of frustration, I lifted my head in search of the clock to see what time it was. I was surprised to notice how dark it had gotten. Apparently I'd been sitting here lost in my head for much longer than I realized. I got up to flip on the overhead light and noticed a note over by the phone.
Bells,
I'm going to help some of the deputies try and hunt down the bear causing all the attacks again before I head in for my overnight shift. We're supposed to get some nasty storms tonight so I left some candles and matches on the table in case the power goes out. Call me at the station if you need anything.
Dad
I looked back over to the table and saw four different sizes of pillar candles as well as several votives and tea lights grouped together where I usually sat. Off to the side laid two books of matches. I decided to go ahead and strategically place the various candles throughout the house as I would need should the power go out. Jeebus knows I can't walk without falling when I have plenty of light to see, let alone when it's pitch black because there's no power.
After placing candles where I'd need them downstairs, I decided to take a chance on going up to my room. I still didn't want to be surrounded by those oppressive walls that did nothing but remind me of who was no longer there with me, but watching TV wasn't really an option either. It was still too hard to participate in mundane activities like that or listening to music since it all reminded me of Edward. The mental wince that always accompanied even thinking his name was testament enough to that.
Trudging up the stairs carefully with my full hands, I was startled by a loud clap of thunder. Not that I doubted Charlie, but I guess he was right. It was sure to be a nasty one if the sudden torrential rain was any indicator. I was glad to be on my way up to get settled in for the night. After dumping everything onto my bed, I grabbed my toiletry bag and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and change into my comfiest pair of sweats. Since I wouldn't be able to shower with the storm raging outside, I pulled my hair back into a ponytail with plans to give it a good scrubbing in the morning.
Once back in my room, I arranged what was left of the candles on my bedside table with the second book of matches right next to them. I was fairly certain I would be in need of them sooner than later. Finished with everything I could possibly do to keep my mind off things I didn't want to think about, I curled up on my bed and let my thoughts wander.
How long would it take for Laurent to get back to Victoria and let her know what an easy target I was?
Would there be any way I could convince her to just kill me since Edward clearly didn't want me?
Did Alice really care so little for me that she wasn't willing to come back when I was in danger?
If Edward was so worried about me not doing anything reckless and hurting Charlie, why wasn't he looking after me period?
What was going on with the giant wolves that suddenly showed up?
The wolves were a complete mystery to me. I just didn't understand why horse sized wolves who were obviously the bears people thought they were seeing would go after a vampire. And why on earth did Laurent run away? That totally baffled me. All of it made no sense whatsoever. I had expected to, once again, be the prime target given my weak human status. If other animals could sense that vampires were predators, then why didn't the wolves?
As question after question swirled in my mind, my eyes began to shut against my will. I could not allow myself to fall asleep! Not with Victoria most likely being on her way here now. Or maybe even Laurent would come back to finish me off. The last conscious thought I remember having was that his returning for me would certainly be the blessing he told me about in the meadow.
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I woke with a startled shriek. Not sure what had woken me, I scrambled to sit up in bed. I looked to my alarm clock and saw it was dark. Shit. The power had clearly gone out. The fact my room was dark should have alerted me to that detail immediately considering the light was still on when I fell asleep. I blindly felt around for the book of matches so I could light the candles next to my bed. Finally locating it, I carefully ripped off a match and managed to strike and light it easily. Not wanting to push my luck, I quickly lit the candles before my fingers could get burnt.
I laid back down facing the candles that were barely lighting my room. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep. Hell, I was lucky I got however long I did considering the nightmares that frequented my barely existent sleep patterns these days. It was amazing how one's body could operate with very little sleep. I knew, though, that I was reaching my mental and physical limit. Though sleep would likely be impossible while I waited for Laurent or Victoria to show up, I was going to have to find a way to get some form of rest before my body shut down. The paranoia and stress of the upcoming days would only make it worse. I knew this. I was a ticking bomb for another mental breakdown.
Not wanting to think about what another catatonic state would do to Charlie, I looked at the flickering flames of the candles. Fire was really an amazing thing. The way the blue made way to the yellow and orange. The way it consumed and yet also created. It was its own entity. Almost a living thing. As I looked at the different flames from the candles, each one seemed to have its own personality. Some were full of energy, flickering rapidly. . . angrily. Others waved gently as if a stalk of wheat moving with a spring zephyr. Still yet there were the stoic flames. These were the ones who simply took care of business, consuming whatever was put before it with a grace and poise even a vampire could be jealous of.
I felt myself being drawn into the flame. My peripheral vision was no longer there; I was surrounded by a glowing warmth. I relished the feeling. It'd been so long since I felt warm. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes to better focus on the feeling I didn't even know I wanted.
.
.
.
Before me was a wire. With grace I didn't possess, I began to cross it with my eyes still closed. When halfway across, I sensed there was fire beneath me and began to totter. Accepting the fact I would be unable to regain my balance, I spread my arms and let myself fall. I felt the heat below me begin to rise as I got closer and closer to the pyre. It felt like my body shattered upon impact. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out. It was at that moment I realized I should have been burning, too. Forcing my eyes open, I found myself staring at a ceiling. I jumped up as quickly as my ungraceful body would allow. My eyes darted around as I tried to figure out where the hell I was.
With a startled gasp, I realized I was standing in the Cullens' kitchen. My mind was processing things at an alarming rate as I tried to understand why I was here. I continued glancing around and made my way toward a stool at the breakfast bar a short distance in front of me. When I sat down, I saw there was a notebook of some sort opened to a blank page with an expensive pen sitting next to it, as well as a book of matches. Leafing quickly through the pages of the book, I saw they were all blank. With a need to feel the weight in my hand, I picked up the fountain pen and made to scribble across the page to see if it worked.
The sudden sound of flapping wings startled me. I stood up, pen still in hand, and walked cautiously toward where the sound seemed to have come from. Just as I got to where I thought it originated, I heard the flapping wings again, only from back by where the notebook laid. Walking quickly, I returned to the breakfast bar and looked around for a stray bird that must have found its way into the house. I glanced back down at the notebook and saw that the page which had been blank only a moment ago was not anymore. Leaning down for a closer look, I saw a simple sentence in my handwriting.
Dry is good and wind is better.
I couldn't begin to understand what that meant. I shook my head to dispel what had to be a hallucination and began looking around for the pen. With a start, I remembered that I'd still had it in my hand when I walked away. I looked down and found I was no longer holding the pen, but had the book of matches instead. My eyes flicked back to the notebook at the same time a breeze disturbed my already tangled hair. Turning toward the source of the air movement, I found the door leading to the back yard to be open.
With no thought about doing it, I began walking toward the open door and stepped outside. When my bare feet hit the grass several feet away from the door, I felt a gentle smile spread across my lips at the feel of the cool but dry blades between my toes. The only better feeling was maybe warm sand.
I turned to face the looming white house and felt the breeze again. Standing quietly while the air moved gently around me, I found myself waiting. Seconds, minutes or hours could have passed while I waited. The sound of fluttering wings caught my attention and I looked to the sky.
"Strike a match."
The whispered words floated around me like the breeze.
"Go on and do it."
Like before when I walked to the door, my body obeyed. I watched my hands take a match from the book and strike against the gritty, narrow strip producing a flame. A sudden gust of wind from behind me licked at the seemingly fragile flame, but instead of extinguishing it as one would expect, the small flame erupted skyward. A blaze of colors flashed around me. Above, below and side to side . . . there was nothing but glowing warmth. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I heard the fluttering of wings. . . .
A/N 2.0: Alrighty then. . . . So, if there's any lingering confusion even after listening to the song, feel free to PM, FB, or Tweet me (since there's now a trifecta available). I'd be more than happy to explain some of what I was thinking.
Onto less depressing matters (sorta): I'm on Facebook! .com (slash) xelleleighx or you can just look up Elle Leigh
I've crossed over to the dark side and gotten on Twitter! Follow me xElleLeighx
Either of these will allow you to read my ramblings about fire, random acts of psychopathy, if I'll ever finish any of my stories. You know, the usual.
Much Love! ~Elle