Note: All characters, places, creatures, etc. (Besides Aze) belong to J.K.Rowling.
Boys Can't Love Ghosts
By Sekushithesilver
"Is it me, or is Malfoy acting a little strange lately?" asked Ron, as he watched a giddy Draco skip into the hall.
"He is acting a little weird," answered Hermione, nodding her head, "But, that's puberty for ya'." She turned back to her plate full of fried eggs, bacon, and a 'wacky American dish' called grits.
Harry ignored his food, though, and left the Gryffindor table (and his breakfast, I might add) to follow the awkward acting Slytherin.
"Where the hell are you going?" asked Ron, through a mouthful of toast.
"To follow Mister Happy-go-lucky," replied Harry, turning towards his friend, "Something is up, I can smell it...Well...Are you coming?"
Ron and Hermione looked at each other. Hermione lifted an eyebrow. Ron attempted to lift an eyebrow, but only managed to crinkle up his forehead dementedly. Harry shook his head disapprovingly, and started out the hall alone. The two starving friends looked after him as he left, and continued to eat their breakfast.
* * *
'THEY may not think there is something up, but I do,' thought Harry, as he stalked down the corridor in the direction he thought Draco had gone in.
Lately, his friends frustrated him. They seemed oblivious to everything, and childish. Harry had been told by his Aunt Petunia, ("Oh, my wittle shnookims had his time long ago! Of course, he isn't some freak."), and some of the other Gryffindor girls ("Teeheehee! Oh Harry, That's normal when you're going through, heeheehee, PUBERTY!") That this was all normal at his stage of life, but he still didn't like it.
He had also noticed some other changes in his body (besides maturity) that I won't mention here.
Harry was thinking this all over, and neglected to realize where he was walking. Suddenly, he rounded a corner, and saw Draco's back. Harry double-taked and jumped back around the corner. Harry slowly peeked around the edge of the wall to witness what Draco was doing.
* * *
"You have such lovely hair, " Draco whispered, running his hand through Aze's long, elegant, golden hair. She giggled and took his hand from her beautiful locks.
"I don't want you to care about my hair," she playfully scolded, pressing his hand against her forehead, "I want you to care about this."
"Oh," Draco said. He smiled, "You have the most beautiful forehead I have ever seen."
She laughed a jovial, throaty laugh, and, taking his head in her arms kissed him full on the lips. Draco felt something he never really had felt before: pure, unadutlured love.
* * *
Harry furrowed his brow.
As far as he could tell, Draco was kissing the air, and not just kissing either. He was touching, feeling, LOVING.
Harry scratched his head in confusion.
"It's not what it seems, you know."
Harry jumped at the sound of a voice behind him. He whirled around and found himself face-to-face with Nearly Headless Nick.
After regaining himself after being startled by the ghost, Harry asked, "Well, if he's not making out with the air, then what is he doing?"
"He is 'Making Out' with a ghost, my good fellow," replied Nick. Harry furrowed his brow even more. Nick sighed, "He is kissing a ghost who is INVISIBLE."
Harry's brow became so furrowed that his eyes disappeared, "How can he see who he is making out with?"
"The ghost is in disguise!" seeing that this did not help Harry's understanding, Nick elaborated, "It is an old Poltergeist trick. Disguise yourself as a pretty lady, (making sure that only your target can see you) and make sure that your subject falls in love with you."
"What would be the point of that?"
"Aagh," Harry could see that the nearly headless ghost was getting frustrated, "Ghosts do it for several reasons: one; they miss the love and friendship of being alive, two; they wish to cause some senseless mischief, or three; they wish to 'Soul Swap'."
Harry nodded his head. "What's a 'Soul Swap'?"
"Blimey, boy, don't you know anything?" the truly exasperated ghost replied, "A 'Soul Swap' is when the live person falls so madly in love with the dead person, that the live person becomes dead, and the dead person becomes live."
Harry gasped.
He peeked around the corner at Draco. He was now whispering, lovingly to someone. A ghost.
Harry instantly had an idea of who that ghost was.
"Nick," Harry said, turning back to his transparent, floating friend, "That ghost is going to do the 'Soul Swap', and I know who that ghost is."
* * *
"You eyes are like two moons, glowing in the beautiful sky," Draco whispered, "Your lips are like when the sun meets the horizon, bright, red, and full." Aze giggled with each compliment.
'Where the hell is all this poeticism coming from?' Draco asked himself, 'and why am I saying it?' He kissed his newfound love on the head, and stroked her hair.
He realized that he really loved her.
Draco didn't notice, however, the devilish smile spread across Aze's face.
Suddenly, Draco heard a horrendous scream that wrenched him forcefully out of his love. He looked around and saw a ghost fly out of the wall next to them. The ghost was missing all but an inch of his neck, and was screaming like he was on fire.
Draco realized that this was Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor's ghost.
"NIC- I mean, who the hell is that?" exclaimed Aze, clutching at her boyfriend.
Draco didn't have time to answer, however, because Harry flew out of nowhere yelling, "DRACO! THAT'S NOT WHO YOU THINK IT IS! IT'S-" Harry flung a
Bucket-full of flour at Aze. "-A GHOST!"
The powder smashed into Aze, who turned all white.
Harry stood back abashed, as if he had expected something else to happen.
"HEY!" yelled Draco, pulling his wand from his sleeve, "NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY GIRLFR-"
"DAMNIT, HARRY!" interrupted a very angry Aze, "DAMNIT! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!"
Then, to Draco's surprise, Aze flew (I mean literally FLEW. As in FLY) straight at Harry and punched him in the nose.
Aze hovered above Harry a moment, then, miraculously, transformed into Moaning Mirtle. "HE WAS ALMOST MINE! DAMNIT! ALMOST! JUST ONE MORE MINUTE AND WE WOULD HAVE SWAPPED, AND I WOULDN'T BE LAUGHED AT ANYMORE, OR..." Mirtle was so mad that she ran out of things to say, so she pummeled Harry with a multitude of blows, the zoomed through the ceiling.
Draco was speechless. He didn't know what to do, or say, so he just walked away, never to speak of this to anyone again.
* * *
"Well, thanks Nick," Harry said.
"Its ok, anything for a friend," and with that, he zipped through the closest wall.
"Well," said Harry to himself, "this was the most poorly written fic I've ever been in."
* * *
Several floors above, in an abandoned bathroom, a lonely ghost sat alone, whimpering to herself.
She cried the saddest thing anyone on Earth had ever heard; "This is the BEST written fic I've ever been in!"
FIN
Boys Can't Love Ghosts
By Sekushithesilver
"Is it me, or is Malfoy acting a little strange lately?" asked Ron, as he watched a giddy Draco skip into the hall.
"He is acting a little weird," answered Hermione, nodding her head, "But, that's puberty for ya'." She turned back to her plate full of fried eggs, bacon, and a 'wacky American dish' called grits.
Harry ignored his food, though, and left the Gryffindor table (and his breakfast, I might add) to follow the awkward acting Slytherin.
"Where the hell are you going?" asked Ron, through a mouthful of toast.
"To follow Mister Happy-go-lucky," replied Harry, turning towards his friend, "Something is up, I can smell it...Well...Are you coming?"
Ron and Hermione looked at each other. Hermione lifted an eyebrow. Ron attempted to lift an eyebrow, but only managed to crinkle up his forehead dementedly. Harry shook his head disapprovingly, and started out the hall alone. The two starving friends looked after him as he left, and continued to eat their breakfast.
* * *
'THEY may not think there is something up, but I do,' thought Harry, as he stalked down the corridor in the direction he thought Draco had gone in.
Lately, his friends frustrated him. They seemed oblivious to everything, and childish. Harry had been told by his Aunt Petunia, ("Oh, my wittle shnookims had his time long ago! Of course, he isn't some freak."), and some of the other Gryffindor girls ("Teeheehee! Oh Harry, That's normal when you're going through, heeheehee, PUBERTY!") That this was all normal at his stage of life, but he still didn't like it.
He had also noticed some other changes in his body (besides maturity) that I won't mention here.
Harry was thinking this all over, and neglected to realize where he was walking. Suddenly, he rounded a corner, and saw Draco's back. Harry double-taked and jumped back around the corner. Harry slowly peeked around the edge of the wall to witness what Draco was doing.
* * *
"You have such lovely hair, " Draco whispered, running his hand through Aze's long, elegant, golden hair. She giggled and took his hand from her beautiful locks.
"I don't want you to care about my hair," she playfully scolded, pressing his hand against her forehead, "I want you to care about this."
"Oh," Draco said. He smiled, "You have the most beautiful forehead I have ever seen."
She laughed a jovial, throaty laugh, and, taking his head in her arms kissed him full on the lips. Draco felt something he never really had felt before: pure, unadutlured love.
* * *
Harry furrowed his brow.
As far as he could tell, Draco was kissing the air, and not just kissing either. He was touching, feeling, LOVING.
Harry scratched his head in confusion.
"It's not what it seems, you know."
Harry jumped at the sound of a voice behind him. He whirled around and found himself face-to-face with Nearly Headless Nick.
After regaining himself after being startled by the ghost, Harry asked, "Well, if he's not making out with the air, then what is he doing?"
"He is 'Making Out' with a ghost, my good fellow," replied Nick. Harry furrowed his brow even more. Nick sighed, "He is kissing a ghost who is INVISIBLE."
Harry's brow became so furrowed that his eyes disappeared, "How can he see who he is making out with?"
"The ghost is in disguise!" seeing that this did not help Harry's understanding, Nick elaborated, "It is an old Poltergeist trick. Disguise yourself as a pretty lady, (making sure that only your target can see you) and make sure that your subject falls in love with you."
"What would be the point of that?"
"Aagh," Harry could see that the nearly headless ghost was getting frustrated, "Ghosts do it for several reasons: one; they miss the love and friendship of being alive, two; they wish to cause some senseless mischief, or three; they wish to 'Soul Swap'."
Harry nodded his head. "What's a 'Soul Swap'?"
"Blimey, boy, don't you know anything?" the truly exasperated ghost replied, "A 'Soul Swap' is when the live person falls so madly in love with the dead person, that the live person becomes dead, and the dead person becomes live."
Harry gasped.
He peeked around the corner at Draco. He was now whispering, lovingly to someone. A ghost.
Harry instantly had an idea of who that ghost was.
"Nick," Harry said, turning back to his transparent, floating friend, "That ghost is going to do the 'Soul Swap', and I know who that ghost is."
* * *
"You eyes are like two moons, glowing in the beautiful sky," Draco whispered, "Your lips are like when the sun meets the horizon, bright, red, and full." Aze giggled with each compliment.
'Where the hell is all this poeticism coming from?' Draco asked himself, 'and why am I saying it?' He kissed his newfound love on the head, and stroked her hair.
He realized that he really loved her.
Draco didn't notice, however, the devilish smile spread across Aze's face.
Suddenly, Draco heard a horrendous scream that wrenched him forcefully out of his love. He looked around and saw a ghost fly out of the wall next to them. The ghost was missing all but an inch of his neck, and was screaming like he was on fire.
Draco realized that this was Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor's ghost.
"NIC- I mean, who the hell is that?" exclaimed Aze, clutching at her boyfriend.
Draco didn't have time to answer, however, because Harry flew out of nowhere yelling, "DRACO! THAT'S NOT WHO YOU THINK IT IS! IT'S-" Harry flung a
Bucket-full of flour at Aze. "-A GHOST!"
The powder smashed into Aze, who turned all white.
Harry stood back abashed, as if he had expected something else to happen.
"HEY!" yelled Draco, pulling his wand from his sleeve, "NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY GIRLFR-"
"DAMNIT, HARRY!" interrupted a very angry Aze, "DAMNIT! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!"
Then, to Draco's surprise, Aze flew (I mean literally FLEW. As in FLY) straight at Harry and punched him in the nose.
Aze hovered above Harry a moment, then, miraculously, transformed into Moaning Mirtle. "HE WAS ALMOST MINE! DAMNIT! ALMOST! JUST ONE MORE MINUTE AND WE WOULD HAVE SWAPPED, AND I WOULDN'T BE LAUGHED AT ANYMORE, OR..." Mirtle was so mad that she ran out of things to say, so she pummeled Harry with a multitude of blows, the zoomed through the ceiling.
Draco was speechless. He didn't know what to do, or say, so he just walked away, never to speak of this to anyone again.
* * *
"Well, thanks Nick," Harry said.
"Its ok, anything for a friend," and with that, he zipped through the closest wall.
"Well," said Harry to himself, "this was the most poorly written fic I've ever been in."
* * *
Several floors above, in an abandoned bathroom, a lonely ghost sat alone, whimpering to herself.
She cried the saddest thing anyone on Earth had ever heard; "This is the BEST written fic I've ever been in!"
FIN