Part I - Confusion
I sat with my back against the cold, white metal wall. One leg was pulled up to my chest, my left arm keeping it steady. The other leg fell limply over the edge of the metal castle, the cloak's black bottom flapping helplessly in the feeble breeze. I kept my dark hood up to hide my face as my emotionless eyes stared into the dark sky of the World that Never Was. My mind was searching through file after file. I needed answers, answers that no one would give me.
I wanted to know where I had come from. What my past was before my life in Organization XIII. Yes, I was new to the Organization. Number XIV: Fourteen. You'd think, since everyone else knows who they once where, that I should too? Wrong. I could never start up a conversation about it without my words being completely dropped or ignored. I've brought it around to Axel, the fiery element who found me, but he doesn't go far.
He says that I was 'discovered' during a particularly nasty electrical storm. Which is extremely strange, seeing as the Castle never gets storms or any weather. He'll stop, and say no more. I've mentioned it to Number I, Xemnas, but he says I should find the rest for myself. At least Axel tries.
It's all making me frustrated, so I sit alone and think to myself. I'm beginning to become fearful of my past… and for my future. So, I let the moonlight wash over my black clad body, the gleams dancing on the leather. The moon calms me down; soothes my aching soul. I'm glad of the place Xemnas decided to make my living quarters, because there was an open balcony leading to the spot which you could see heart-shaped moon clearest. I like to stare up at it, and just let my mind fumble through what it wants to. The others say I'm very much like Saix. I suppose they're right; he is very interesting, and we do share many interests in common.
Releasing my grip on my leg, I unconsciously began to touch the markings on my left hand. The streaks forming from the tips of my fingers, only to end an inch down on each one; like talons. Two oval shaped symbols on the spot below my pinkie and index; like pads. I felt power within me, a hungry power that was slowly growing ravenous. A small voice in the back of my struggling mind often whispered strange things to me.
'You're so much like and animal; a hunter of the night. And you know it. Vicious temper with deadly claws and teeth as your most adored weapon.'
Shut up.
'But you can sense it too! I know you can. It dwells inside; you just need to release it. Feed that hunger; satisfy the yearning.'
I said to shut the fuck up
'Very well then, Whelp of Toxins. I shall return.' It used emphasis on my formal name.
I was beginning to doze-
"Gipxeon?"
The familiar voice shook me back into consciousness. I hid my ungloved hands. Ears twitching, I snapped my head to face the intruder of my living quarters. I wasn't surprised to see Axel's insanely green eyes beaming at me, though his face was twisted in slight concern. His lanky body was bending over and his head was inches from mine, so I blushed weakly at my friend and turned to gaze back at the moon. I nodded my return greeting, refusing to speak.
"Are you alright? You look upset, and you've been like that for a few days," I had never heard him speak like this to anyone besides Roxas. He sounded so worried about me; so… distressed by my behavior. I just shrugged my limp shoulders, avoiding his gaze. I've wanted to explain things to him but I wasn't sure how to begin. I saw in the corner of my amber eyes as he lowered himself beside me. Our leather bound arms brushed together slightly as he settled himself, long legs stretched out in front of him and his hands behind to prop himself up. I let my bent leg fall so both our feet where in the same position. He was still staring me down;
"Don't lie to me, brownie, you know I can tell." I winced. I didn't like it much when he called me 'brownie'. I'm not sure if it was the blonde streaks in my chocolate brown hair, or just the fun of making me cringe. Everyone knew not to bother with my temper, but Axel always pushed it. He always knew how to get under my skin without actually forcing me to beat him to a bloody, messy pulp. My mood snapped suddenly.
"You know damn well what's wrong with me, Axel!! You know I can't control these shitty… emotions!! Every moment it's something different, something I don't want it to be. Something that scares the hell out of me!!" I wanted to throw something heavy at him, but at the same time I wanted to cry. Again, my personality changed, and I did let the tears escape. Not only from the cruelty inflicted to my friend, but also the pressure of mood changing. And the intense weight on my shoulders.
Axel had jumped backwards with eyes stretched wide from the sudden comments flung at him. But it had happened before to him, so his alarm didn't last long. When I suddenly melted into tears, he was at a loss of what to do. He was always being pressured by the others that Nobodies could feel absolutely b no /b emotions, but loving Roxas and having a bipolar friend told him different. Very gently, he lifted his arm and let it fall lightly over my shoulders. I let my sobbing head fall close to his neck as he embraced me. Like only a true friend would do. Without warning, the tears disappeared. I was back to my normal, calm self.
My mind seemed to adjust too, as I realized I was leaning against Axel. My face flushing red, I sat up, sighing awkwardly. Axel didn't mind the departure of my head, because he understood. There was a long moment of silence.
"That ain't the full reason, is it?" his soft whisper came from beside me. I could tell he had moved his body to face me.
"No." my simple reply.
"Then what is it?" I didn't answer. He placed a long-fingered hand on my shoulder, and I looked up into his stern face. "C'mon, Number XIV. You know I can't stand to see you like this. Just let me hear it; that's what friends are for." I liked his voice when he was calm. It was somewhat rough, but incredibly soothing to hear. I released a sigh. I wanted to tell him everything, but I didn't know how… So, I shook my head gently, telling him physically by my actions that I just couldn't at the moment. He removed his hand from its perch.
More quiet then came for a few minutes, before something beside me b i clicked /i /b and I turned my head to see the redhead pulling a cigarette to his mouth. He took a long drag on it, and let out the smoke in a fat, billowing cloud. My stomach gave a bizarre jerk as I inhaled it, and I gave him a nasty glare,
"I've told you not to smoke in my room," My words where firm as I gave the hidden command silently, trying my best not to get angry. Axel looked at me for a moment, holding the smoke between his fingers. Apparently, he didn't get the hint, and took it once again to his mouth. My temper threatened to flair up once more, but I instead focused all my concentration on the small, white paper. Using my mind, I distorted the particles the man was breathing in. I forced them to instantly drench themselves in an incredibly toxic liquid. I've done this to him before, and he knows the only way to change the smoke back to normal, and end the torture, was to drop the cigarette. Axel began to cough violently, and he flung it over the edge of my balcony. As soon as it left his hand, the wheezing quieted. I laughed loudly at him.
"God, woman, why do you have to do that?!" He rubbed at his throat, eye brows pinched together in the shock of sudden agony.
"Because this is my room, so I can do what I like. Because I've told you before NEVER to light one of those in here. Because my element is i poison /i . Because..." –I grinned coldly- "...it's always funny."
He looked ready to lunge at me.
I giggled even louder.
That ticked him off. I saw him smirk, and then there was a brief moment of him colliding with me, my arms flailing to grab hold of his spiky red hair and yank it out. Subsequently, the redhead had me pinned to the ground by my back so that he was above me. He had my arms held by my sides. Axel's knees locked my legs together. All I could do was wiggle and squirm in the bondage.
My mood was changing again, I could feel the clinch in my stomach; I was becoming somewhat hyper and energetic, opposed to my outburst moments ago.
Axel planted a wild grin on his face when he realized he had me completely trapped and I wasn't going to try anything stupid with my element.
"What now?" he crooned at me, giving me an incredibly smug look. I wiggled more, not being able to wipe the smile off my face. I was looking around desperately for… something, when I noticed his face had gotten closer to mine. It was then that I realized what an extremely embarrassing position we where both sitting in. I was flat on my back, short, dirty-blonde hair sprawling out behind me, completely unable to move and flushing insanely. He was on top of me, completely engulfing me in his presence.
Something unknown glittered in his intense teal eyes.
I then switched silently to minor panic.
i Shit, pull yourself together! Axel's a forceful guy; if he was going to do something, it would have been a lot quicker, and rougher, than this/i How the hell could I possibly be thinking this?! He was my friend, u and /u I knew he was head-over-heels for Roxas.
I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't quite understand why I then tried more frantically to free myself from his grip. i God damn, he's so strong/i
"What the hell do you want from me?!" I gasped.
"An explanation. I have to watch out for you, y'know. You're like a younger sibling. So how am I supposed to care for you when you can't tell me why you're so depressed? Got it memorized?" He poked at his temple, freeing one of my hands.
I sighed. He was right, and he was my closest friend. He needed to know. "Fine, you win. I'll tell you…" –he grinned triumphantly- "…but, you'll have to take me to get some ice-cream tomorrow in town." That wiped the superior look off his face.
He sat up straight, and I struggled to regain my former position. Again, there was silence for a long while. I couldn't help but grin at the proud feeling radiating from him.
With a tired groan, Axel summoned a dark, whisking portal beside him and stood up. More than likely it led to the redhead's room. I opened my mouth to say good-bye, when he interrupted me.
"I'll take you to town tomorrow, but I get the whole truth. And Roxas is coming." Apparently, that ended the conversation because he stepped through the portal, and it closed silently before I could spit back a no.