Good morning, my perfect bum, what exactly is so good about morning

Hullo this was a short piece that I wrote in about a half hour to cure this ache I've been having to write a non-romantic fluff this is basically just a part of a day in the life of Draco(this means don't expect brilliancy people). I didn't alter his personality in any way from the books so this isn't a romantic, nice, misunderstood Draco, it's a nasty mean, and vain Draco and he sure was fun to write! So I'll not keep you waiting any longer and without further ado here is the fic and the disclaimer!

Disclaimer- I own nothing and I'm proud of it.

An in-depth look at Draco Malfoy

By Emerald Star

Good morning, my perfect bum, what exactly is so good about morning? Especially if it's a Saturday and it's about six and if the damn birds are keeping you awake. Honestly I don't know how Crabbe and Golye stand it. Actually I suppose I do, I mean they are part troll aren't they, slimy gits. Here I am the fabulous Draco Malfoy awake and no one is even here to worship me, really shouldn't this stupid school make a rule that every girl on campus must wake up at exactly the same time I do to glory at my splendor? Oh well I should have some breakfast, an underfed god like boy is a wimpy god like boy mother always says. Maybe there are some pretty early risers in this school, although I bet most of them are pathetic little mudbloods any way.  Ah now what to wear? Black robes, Black robes, or black robes, hmmm choices. Honestly what is up with this dreary dress code? Any way I think I'll go with black robes so now on to brush my glorious hair and off to breakfast.

Now that I'm fed, well over cooked eggs but it was supposed to be food, I'll make a list of things to do today. Now where is that parchment, ah here we are now for the list:

1. Find some one to torment

2. Torment them

3. Owl father to tell him about the poor food here

4. Find the dart gun that father sent me

5. Shoot annoying birds outside of window

6. Sneak into Hogsmead to buy sweets and butterbeer

7.  Try to make Crabbe and Golye decent to look at

8.  Meet with Pansy (in the Quidditch shed if possible)

9.  Insult Potter and his friends at least six times today (lets break a record!)

10. Give Snape the list of new "names" for the Gryffindors

11. Think up at least three new methods of torture for others

12. Try the new methods of torture

13. Go to Quidditch practice

14. Songg with Pansy at some point (if possible in the Quidditch shed)

15. Put off homework till tomorrow

 

Well that seems like today's quota, now I think I'll go and find Pansy maybe I can knock off fourteen and eight early! Ah look over there Potter, weasel, and mudblood are coming in it seems that I can get my insults in early too today is looking up! "Hello Potty, weasel, and you filthy mudblood, I hope you were woken up by the birds this morning too." (He he that's two!) "Ug great just what I need, Malfoy get lost" says the comeback less git Potter. "Sure if you pay me or is that too much weasel?" I nastily drawled. Weasel looked like he was going to lunge at me, like he could take me on. "Oh Malfoy" he said, "Isn't your birthday coming up? On the next Hogsmeade trip I'll get you a ferret" Well he gets points for the ferret thing but I still have three insults left so I'll get one more in, "Ah an I'll return the favor and get your girlfriend a beaver, I bet you'll have trouble telling the two apart." I think I'll give my self double points on that one, because weasel turned bright red at the girlfriend remark, I have one left so aw the hell with it. "Oh and Potty what to get you? How about a large snake" Oh I like the Voldemort reference on that one, well scratch that one off my list. Now I think I'll find Pansy and get a few more things done.

~*~

Woo hoo I got 3, 6, 10, 14, 8, and 13 off of the list and a detention for my efforts on 8 and 14. Pansy and I were having loads of erm, fun in the Quidditch shed when that nosy overstuffed Madame Hooch barged in hand in hand with Professor Flitwick and barked at us, we ended up with a detention, not for being in the shed, but asking what Madame Hooch was doing with Flitwick because Quidditch practice was in seven hours. In the end Pansy and I moved to the potions room, but it wasn't as fun. I went to Hogsmeade with Crabbe and Goyle and returned with a large box of sugar quills, some bags of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, and some ice mice; twas a good haul all in all. After Writing the letter to father and giving Snape the list of names I went to Quidditch practice. This time we will beat Gryffindor, and get the cup, and the house championship! Now I am looking for the dart gun and soon I'll have two more things down, all in a day's work for Draco Malfoy.  

Hey everyone this is it! Sorry about that whole Draco/Pansy thing normally I'm D/G but it was the cheese (I swear it). Now be a good little ficer and review in the lovely little box below (go ahead it won't bite).